The other day I wrote that our mission seemed like a dream. It was so far away (102 days) and it seemed like a thing that was just a thing. Well, I am sort of changing. Maybe as we get closer it will become more and more a part of my daily thought process, who knows?
Last night, I ran into.... I don't mean I physically ran into someone, nor did my vehicle in which I was driving run into anyone either... a young man who was so excited. He told me he just put in his papers to go on a mission. He was planning on going this summer. I smiled and gleaned some of his enthusiasm and said that we were planning on going this summer also.
Then I saw another young lady who had confessed to me she was rapidly preparing to go on a mission. We talked a few minutes and I felt her excitement. Then I was reminded of Bonnie's brother and his wife who just submitted their mission papers.
Isn't it interesting what things lie all around us, and which things we choose to ignore, or let go through out mind, in one ear and out the other. Some things remain in our mind pleading for some ponder time, while other things come in and go out. We choose which things we will keep in our mind and which things we ponder upon. The things we ponder upon determine who we are, what we are and whether we will be uplifted or down trodden.
I need to look around me, watch others, see their excitement about upcoming chances of being missionaries, and adopt their enthusiasm, their excitement and not let the fluff of insignificant things get in the way.
Isn't it interesting when something like this mission causes one to evaluate many things, learn many things and become perhaps a bit closer to the Spirit, being led by the Spirit more than at other times. I feel my Father closer to my mind, directing me and helping me BECOME what I need to be, in preparation for this upcoming mission.
NOTE: I have been walking lately. I have had medical "things" that have not let me walk, or exercise for quite some time, more than a few years. But lately, for miracles happening, I have slowly started to exercise to prepare for this mission. We shall see how it goes.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
DAY 103 -- Edward Partridge's Ordeal
It is crazy. It still feels just like a dream, that we want to, and are planning on going on a mission within a few hundred days. Much to do, much to prepare, and much to think about, but it seems so much like a dream, far away, will it really happen?
It is so far from the reality I am living right now, that is why it is hard to imagine. Will it really happen? Will we be one day sitting in a room with my family around as we open our call from the Headquarters of the Church? Will we open it and read about where we are called to serve? It is like a fleeting dream. We are trying to do all that is in our path to be ready. But it still feels like it is just a passing idea that will disappear.
I had the opportunity Sunday to portray the experience Edward Partridge had when he was tarred and feathered. It certainly touched my heart. My GGG Grandfather went through such an UGLY thing, that eventually killed him. It happened in 1833 and he died in Nauvoo in 1840 never recovering from that experience. His health was very poor after that experience. What an ugly thing to do to anyone. But he was true and faithful through it, holding no grudge or ill feeling for anyone during nor after.
Oh, that I can be like Edward. Prophet Smith referred to Edward saying, "In whom there is no guile." Again, oh, that I can be like Edward. He was certainly a great example for me, for all of his descendants.
Bonnie and I had six kids. Our seventh was going to be "Benjamin Edward Partridge." We never did get him down here, but we live with Sam and Tessa, and this morning it was brought to my memory that two of his kids could be the one I wanted to bring. We have a Daniel Edward Partridge, and a Corey Benjamin Partridge. Well, I guess they needed to come to Sam and Tessa rather than to Bon and I. So glad they did.
It is so far from the reality I am living right now, that is why it is hard to imagine. Will it really happen? Will we be one day sitting in a room with my family around as we open our call from the Headquarters of the Church? Will we open it and read about where we are called to serve? It is like a fleeting dream. We are trying to do all that is in our path to be ready. But it still feels like it is just a passing idea that will disappear.
I had the opportunity Sunday to portray the experience Edward Partridge had when he was tarred and feathered. It certainly touched my heart. My GGG Grandfather went through such an UGLY thing, that eventually killed him. It happened in 1833 and he died in Nauvoo in 1840 never recovering from that experience. His health was very poor after that experience. What an ugly thing to do to anyone. But he was true and faithful through it, holding no grudge or ill feeling for anyone during nor after.
Oh, that I can be like Edward. Prophet Smith referred to Edward saying, "In whom there is no guile." Again, oh, that I can be like Edward. He was certainly a great example for me, for all of his descendants.
Bonnie and I had six kids. Our seventh was going to be "Benjamin Edward Partridge." We never did get him down here, but we live with Sam and Tessa, and this morning it was brought to my memory that two of his kids could be the one I wanted to bring. We have a Daniel Edward Partridge, and a Corey Benjamin Partridge. Well, I guess they needed to come to Sam and Tessa rather than to Bon and I. So glad they did.
Monday, February 27, 2012
DAY 104 -- Which Door To Choose Today, 1, 2, or 3?
A new week. A new month (in a couple of days) A new attitude?
As I crawled out of bed this morning, I figured there are three kinds of days.
ONE: There is the kind of day when we just cope, endure, or make it through the day. This is the day when we dwell upon what is not "right" in our lives. Things that we wished were different. Things that we could change if we had the power and choice. It is coping with unemployment, health problems, children problems, and all kinds of problems. We dwell upon these challenges throughtout the day. It is a coping day with a sad, negative attitude. We are alone, and feel alone.
TWO: This is a day when we are robots. We go through what is expected of us, not feeling good nor bad. We don't have any major challenges, we don't have a sore thumb, or a headache, nor anything else to cause us to dwell upon the negative side of things. We just go through the motions of what we do each day. Those around us just see the "normal" person doing as they have always done. We don't cause any problems in our life, we just do as expected.
THREE: This is the kind of day when we greet everything with a smile, with the Spirit within our soul. We see miracles everywhere. We are so thankful for the little things we have each day. We count each breath as a blessing from Father. We can't help but see His hand in every little thing surrounding us. Fellow mortals see in us a light in our eyes. They see someone who is glad to be alive and someone who seems to be on top of everying and not challenged with anything.
What makes the difference? As I started this day, I wasn't going to enter into the realm of the first day described above. I made a decision that I was not going to focus on the negative and how I would make things better. That just leads to depression, sadness, and feeling burdened all day long. I figured as I climbed out of bed that it was just going to be a day TWO. I was going to go to work. I was not going to try to influence anyone else, I was just going to cope with the day. Then I decided that was the easy, lazy way out.
Instead, I felt that my attitude could, would change my day. That is the only difference between these three, different days. ME.
As you can see, I have blogged about this much of late. I guess that is what one of the big things I need to work on, for I seem to be continually thinking along those lines. Guess that is one of the big changes, one of the goals I should take in stride and change in my life.
As I sit here and ponder about this idea, that sweet Spirit tells me that this is possible every day, it is totally up to me. I am the master of what kind of day I am going to have today. No one else can infuence my decision, my actions, my day. Make it a day number one, two or three?
As I crawled out of bed this morning, I figured there are three kinds of days.
ONE: There is the kind of day when we just cope, endure, or make it through the day. This is the day when we dwell upon what is not "right" in our lives. Things that we wished were different. Things that we could change if we had the power and choice. It is coping with unemployment, health problems, children problems, and all kinds of problems. We dwell upon these challenges throughtout the day. It is a coping day with a sad, negative attitude. We are alone, and feel alone.
TWO: This is a day when we are robots. We go through what is expected of us, not feeling good nor bad. We don't have any major challenges, we don't have a sore thumb, or a headache, nor anything else to cause us to dwell upon the negative side of things. We just go through the motions of what we do each day. Those around us just see the "normal" person doing as they have always done. We don't cause any problems in our life, we just do as expected.
THREE: This is the kind of day when we greet everything with a smile, with the Spirit within our soul. We see miracles everywhere. We are so thankful for the little things we have each day. We count each breath as a blessing from Father. We can't help but see His hand in every little thing surrounding us. Fellow mortals see in us a light in our eyes. They see someone who is glad to be alive and someone who seems to be on top of everying and not challenged with anything.
What makes the difference? As I started this day, I wasn't going to enter into the realm of the first day described above. I made a decision that I was not going to focus on the negative and how I would make things better. That just leads to depression, sadness, and feeling burdened all day long. I figured as I climbed out of bed that it was just going to be a day TWO. I was going to go to work. I was not going to try to influence anyone else, I was just going to cope with the day. Then I decided that was the easy, lazy way out.
Instead, I felt that my attitude could, would change my day. That is the only difference between these three, different days. ME.
As you can see, I have blogged about this much of late. I guess that is what one of the big things I need to work on, for I seem to be continually thinking along those lines. Guess that is one of the big changes, one of the goals I should take in stride and change in my life.
As I sit here and ponder about this idea, that sweet Spirit tells me that this is possible every day, it is totally up to me. I am the master of what kind of day I am going to have today. No one else can infuence my decision, my actions, my day. Make it a day number one, two or three?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
DAY 105 -- To Store, To Give, To Keep, To DI?
We talked to the bishop yesterday and made more plans for our mission. We are going to try to submit the papers in mid-April. Should have our call by some time in May, I assume. After a call comes, it could be one month to six months after we receive our call before we actually leave this place. It all depends upon the urgency of the Mission President, how soon we need to be there. We both feel there is a place out there where we "need" to go, one that Father has in store.
I told Bonnie that when we receive our call, as we pray about it, think about it, we will receive a confirmation that it is exactly where Father wants us to be. I remember that confirmation I received as I was called to South East Mexico. I am sure Father will bless us with that vevelation.
With only three and one half months until we get to M day, things are very much in the air. We do not know how, when, or where but we do know we will go. There is much to do done before we go. I guess we ought to start listing things that we need to do so we can be ready.
After living with our children for quite a time, we have realized that there isn't much of our "prized things" we have stored that we need to exist. There are many treasures in our storage unit, and there are many things that we have been saving for years and years. But when we leave in a few months, those things will remain in the storage unit. We are almost to the place where those treasures, memorabilia, and mementos are not required to live, to be happy, and to exist. They are just memories.
When we moved from Perry, we made a list and had our kids take much of our "stuff." We may have to do that again, getting rid of more and more. Or just giving our "stuff" that has been collected through forty years of marriage to the Deseret Industries. We will only take necessities on our mission. It is amazing what things turn into being storage fodder instead of prime possessions when you are where we are. I am sure that will be true when we leave to serve together.
We have things in our room where we live as well as another storage room full of things. We need to get rid of them, either giving them away, or storing them for the next 18 months. It is interesting what thoughts go through one's mind when looking at a mission in about 100 days. It is also interesting to consider the mountains of things we need to do, to plan, and to accomplish before we are ready to drive away.
I told Bonnie that when we receive our call, as we pray about it, think about it, we will receive a confirmation that it is exactly where Father wants us to be. I remember that confirmation I received as I was called to South East Mexico. I am sure Father will bless us with that vevelation.
With only three and one half months until we get to M day, things are very much in the air. We do not know how, when, or where but we do know we will go. There is much to do done before we go. I guess we ought to start listing things that we need to do so we can be ready.
After living with our children for quite a time, we have realized that there isn't much of our "prized things" we have stored that we need to exist. There are many treasures in our storage unit, and there are many things that we have been saving for years and years. But when we leave in a few months, those things will remain in the storage unit. We are almost to the place where those treasures, memorabilia, and mementos are not required to live, to be happy, and to exist. They are just memories.
When we moved from Perry, we made a list and had our kids take much of our "stuff." We may have to do that again, getting rid of more and more. Or just giving our "stuff" that has been collected through forty years of marriage to the Deseret Industries. We will only take necessities on our mission. It is amazing what things turn into being storage fodder instead of prime possessions when you are where we are. I am sure that will be true when we leave to serve together.
We have things in our room where we live as well as another storage room full of things. We need to get rid of them, either giving them away, or storing them for the next 18 months. It is interesting what thoughts go through one's mind when looking at a mission in about 100 days. It is also interesting to consider the mountains of things we need to do, to plan, and to accomplish before we are ready to drive away.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
DAY 106 -- Patience Again
Friday at work, my boss announced to all the employees that Bill Partridge was going to be leaving us in four months. He said that I was going on a mission. It was very interesting to see the reactions of the employees.
One immediately turned to me and asked, "Why are you doing that?" Another said, "Why that is wonderful. Where are you going?" Most just opened their eyes wide and looked at me. Some of them are members, some are not. Some are less active than they should be. It was interesting to see their reaction to the announcement.
I have known for some time that my boss doesn't want me to go. I am doing things that not many other employees have done. I am working for what he pays me. (Many would say that I am working beyond what he pays me, but that is neither here nor there.) He has repeatedly told me to reconsider my plans on going.
Now the whole crew knows that we will be leaving within four or so months. It will be interesting to see if they are any different towards me or not, knowing that I am a short timer.
There is never any question in my mind whether I should remain here longer to help the business, or should we go as soon as all things are ready. When I pause and consider serving Him full time, seeking out those who are waiting, making few friends, being led by the Spirit in His work, and associating with so many others who are serving, I am so excited. I remember coming home from my mission wishing I could be a missionary all my life and not be encumbered with earning a living.
There is much to be done, and Bon and I will be able to do much of it. The remaining 106 days will go slow. It will be sort of like knowing that a pot won't boil while we watch the water. Well, I am watching the water and it is surely heating up slowly. That same old lessons I guess I have never learned is haunting me, that of patience. Will I ever get it? Or will that be one of the faults I take with me when they bury me? Who knows? I believe most people in this life are struggling to learn it also. I am not alone, but I am slow.
One immediately turned to me and asked, "Why are you doing that?" Another said, "Why that is wonderful. Where are you going?" Most just opened their eyes wide and looked at me. Some of them are members, some are not. Some are less active than they should be. It was interesting to see their reaction to the announcement.
I have known for some time that my boss doesn't want me to go. I am doing things that not many other employees have done. I am working for what he pays me. (Many would say that I am working beyond what he pays me, but that is neither here nor there.) He has repeatedly told me to reconsider my plans on going.
Now the whole crew knows that we will be leaving within four or so months. It will be interesting to see if they are any different towards me or not, knowing that I am a short timer.
There is never any question in my mind whether I should remain here longer to help the business, or should we go as soon as all things are ready. When I pause and consider serving Him full time, seeking out those who are waiting, making few friends, being led by the Spirit in His work, and associating with so many others who are serving, I am so excited. I remember coming home from my mission wishing I could be a missionary all my life and not be encumbered with earning a living.
There is much to be done, and Bon and I will be able to do much of it. The remaining 106 days will go slow. It will be sort of like knowing that a pot won't boil while we watch the water. Well, I am watching the water and it is surely heating up slowly. That same old lessons I guess I have never learned is haunting me, that of patience. Will I ever get it? Or will that be one of the faults I take with me when they bury me? Who knows? I believe most people in this life are struggling to learn it also. I am not alone, but I am slow.
Friday, February 24, 2012
DAY 107 -- Natural Man is an Enemy
Mosiah said that we need to become as a little child. I have often pondered how I could become as a child. Then he continues to list the attributes that would qualify us to be as children. I have wondered how one would put off the "Natural Man" and become as a child.
I am sure you have read as much as I have about being the natural man, living in this world, being influenced with the "things" of this world. Satan puts the things of this world in front of us constantly, especially through the media. I have quit watching the news because the things of this world are in the nightly news, on the nightly television screen, etc.
If we are judged to be the natural man, we are classified as an enemy of God. In reading the scriptures, I do not want to be classified as a enemy to God. They don't fare too well in His dealings with them.
Another part of that scripture is "...being willing to submit to all things that the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon them..." If this is taken out of context and just looked as it is stated, it would propose a God who loves to inflict burdens and things upon His children. But if we couple this scripture with the one saying that His work is to create worthy creatures out of us, make us worthy of Eternal Life, He permits things to happen to us that will work together in perfecting us for that is His goal.
He will let us experience challenges, jail sentences, obstacles, and even unexplained trials that mold us, teach us, help us learn faith in Him and trust in Him. They help us acquire patience, faith, and understand the principle of enduring to the end, whatever end that refers to. Mosiah 3:19 is one of my many favorites, it sure requires lots of pondering, praying, and dwelling upon it's meaning.
M. Thought a lot about it. Didn't do too much to further this goal. It is so easy to think that we are over 100 days away, thus postpone what needs to be done until tomorrow. Lazy, or not motivated. Oh well, better get moving...
I am sure you have read as much as I have about being the natural man, living in this world, being influenced with the "things" of this world. Satan puts the things of this world in front of us constantly, especially through the media. I have quit watching the news because the things of this world are in the nightly news, on the nightly television screen, etc.
If we are judged to be the natural man, we are classified as an enemy of God. In reading the scriptures, I do not want to be classified as a enemy to God. They don't fare too well in His dealings with them.
Another part of that scripture is "...being willing to submit to all things that the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon them..." If this is taken out of context and just looked as it is stated, it would propose a God who loves to inflict burdens and things upon His children. But if we couple this scripture with the one saying that His work is to create worthy creatures out of us, make us worthy of Eternal Life, He permits things to happen to us that will work together in perfecting us for that is His goal.
He will let us experience challenges, jail sentences, obstacles, and even unexplained trials that mold us, teach us, help us learn faith in Him and trust in Him. They help us acquire patience, faith, and understand the principle of enduring to the end, whatever end that refers to. Mosiah 3:19 is one of my many favorites, it sure requires lots of pondering, praying, and dwelling upon it's meaning.
M. Thought a lot about it. Didn't do too much to further this goal. It is so easy to think that we are over 100 days away, thus postpone what needs to be done until tomorrow. Lazy, or not motivated. Oh well, better get moving...
Thursday, February 23, 2012
DAY 108 -- Less Than The Dust of the Earth
It went well. I had a great day yesterday, after I decided in the morning that I was going to make it a great day. I counseled with a few people. I greeted everyone I was around. I smiled at strangers, and I felt that it was a profitable day, not in money terms, but in creating the kind of day I wanted to create- Joyful, and Happy.
That doesn't mean that there weren't struggle, obstacles, challenges and concerns. There certainly were. But with the attitude I had of being joyful and happy, they didn't seem nearly so large as they seemed on other days. Attitude does determine how we feel, how we treat others, and whether we smile through the day, or remain a stump on the log, just being, doing and not seeing the miracles in the world.
In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture quoted to one of the Anti-Christs that said, "all things denote there is a God." As I look around me, I try to figure out how all things bear witness there is a God. If I think, ponder, and pray long enough about any one "thing" I can see how it bears that witness.
Bonnie and I are in Mosiah and reading about King Benjamin's discourse. He continually mentions that we are nothing. We are less than the dust of the earth. We only breath and exist because of our Father blessing to us. We are challenged to give all the thanks to God that our soul is capable of giving. He gives us each day, and we will be held accountable what we do with that day, with our breath, with our decisions.
I love the "conference" talk by King Benjamin, which was recorded and sent it out as the first "Ensign" conference issue. (Yes I am taking liberties here.) I love to read it, then read it again, and then pray about it and read it again. I find so much more out of it when I do it that way. Great nuggets of worth for me.
M: We went over our missionary papers and realized that we may need some more papers for the doctors we are going to see. We have to get with our bishop to acquire the required papers for reporting that we are old, or that we are spry and youthful to serve. We have so much to do to be ready. We have to lube and oil our bodies, have million mile checkup on them, and adjust the head lights when necessary. Onward and upward in our preparation.
That doesn't mean that there weren't struggle, obstacles, challenges and concerns. There certainly were. But with the attitude I had of being joyful and happy, they didn't seem nearly so large as they seemed on other days. Attitude does determine how we feel, how we treat others, and whether we smile through the day, or remain a stump on the log, just being, doing and not seeing the miracles in the world.
In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture quoted to one of the Anti-Christs that said, "all things denote there is a God." As I look around me, I try to figure out how all things bear witness there is a God. If I think, ponder, and pray long enough about any one "thing" I can see how it bears that witness.
Bonnie and I are in Mosiah and reading about King Benjamin's discourse. He continually mentions that we are nothing. We are less than the dust of the earth. We only breath and exist because of our Father blessing to us. We are challenged to give all the thanks to God that our soul is capable of giving. He gives us each day, and we will be held accountable what we do with that day, with our breath, with our decisions.
I love the "conference" talk by King Benjamin, which was recorded and sent it out as the first "Ensign" conference issue. (Yes I am taking liberties here.) I love to read it, then read it again, and then pray about it and read it again. I find so much more out of it when I do it that way. Great nuggets of worth for me.
M: We went over our missionary papers and realized that we may need some more papers for the doctors we are going to see. We have to get with our bishop to acquire the required papers for reporting that we are old, or that we are spry and youthful to serve. We have so much to do to be ready. We have to lube and oil our bodies, have million mile checkup on them, and adjust the head lights when necessary. Onward and upward in our preparation.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
DAY 109 -- Motivation
As I laid in my bed half between sleep and getting up this morning, I was letting thoughts breeze through my mind. "What would happen today? Would I be glad I got out of bed? Would it be a good day? Would I accomplish anything? Would others be glad I got out of bed?"
As I finally did get out of bed, I realized that the answers to most of those questions are within my grasp. Do I want to touch someone today? Do I want to accomplish something of value today? Will I touch another's Spirit today by the things I say, by the things I do? Will it be a day full of joy,happiness, or just maintaining and plugging along?
I remembered that all this is in my hands. So as I get started today, I am going to make this a day to remember. Hopefully, not in infamy, but in joy and fulfillment. I can uplift those I work with. I can smile at strangers, (none stranger than me!). I can be outgoing and seek opportunities of service. I can create the kind of day I want to have, if I just put my mind to it.
There is nothing impossible to those who believe. There is just the impossible to those who doubt, those who do not try, those who do not believe. Impossible lives in the mind of the person. I want to have a great day today, so when I return to the pillow and sheets to end this day, I want to be able to say I have had a great day. I touched many people. I helped others smile. I served and even made a difference in someones life.
It is all up to me. Just thinking about it and saying I am going to do it is nothing but the first step. So, I need to get moving to do so. February 22, 2012 I am going to be an instrument in Father's hands to bring a bit of joy into the world, into the lives of some of His children. I can, and will do it.
Yesterday, we went to the temple and through of missionary work, helping those dearly departed members of our family enjoy the blessings of Eternity, as we will be doing in the mission field. I thought about calling a dentist and arranging a mission appointment to check out what is in our heads. (Not a psychiatrist, a dentist.) Didn't do it but thought about it. Thinking is one step, right, and the first step. I need to do it, rather than just think about it. This is a step in getting ready.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
DAY 110 -- Last 110 Days Before Mission Day
As I sat down today to post my blog, the computer, or the blog people, or the stars, or the gremlins, or whatever... would not work, and thus I did not post as early as I desired to today. I read my scriptures before I left for work and I read in the Words of Mormon the following: "...he worketh in me to do according to his will."
As I read that scripture, I assumed that whatever I was going to write down this morning before was not according to "his will." I guess I was not listening to His direction so the computer had to malfunction and not let me write what was on my mind. Little "tenders mercies" or little or big "miracles" like that happen all the time.
But do I realize it is His will or was it just a malfunction of the computer for a few seconds? Many will say that I am putting too much into such an occurrence. To each his own interpretation. But as for me in my house, or me in my mind, it is a message from Father to reconsider what I was going to write, ponder about it for a few minutes and then re-evaluate what He may want me to write.
When I recall that Elder Maxwell taught that Father is so much closer to our lives that any of us realize, and if we knew in truth His awareness of everything that happens, perhaps we would not mock at the small occurrence that happened to me today.
I know. It was just a small little thing. But it did make me decide that I was going to pray, ponder and take a bit more time to assure that I am writing what He wants me to write in this blog. If I do not listen in little things, will I listen in big things that He needs done, especially in far away places as we go on our mission?
These last 110 days are flying by rapidly, and I feel I would like to report on this blog an action, what we do to get closer to our mission. Something should be done every day. I have a gazillion goals I have mentioned, and I need to be working on all of them. But we need to do many things also to be ready, for there is a location where Father wants us to go and even more importantly, a time when He wants us ready. Thus, we need to be working toward this Mission daily. Thus today's action is to take the action to commit to report on our daily action to further our preparation to M day.
As I read that scripture, I assumed that whatever I was going to write down this morning before was not according to "his will." I guess I was not listening to His direction so the computer had to malfunction and not let me write what was on my mind. Little "tenders mercies" or little or big "miracles" like that happen all the time.
But do I realize it is His will or was it just a malfunction of the computer for a few seconds? Many will say that I am putting too much into such an occurrence. To each his own interpretation. But as for me in my house, or me in my mind, it is a message from Father to reconsider what I was going to write, ponder about it for a few minutes and then re-evaluate what He may want me to write.
When I recall that Elder Maxwell taught that Father is so much closer to our lives that any of us realize, and if we knew in truth His awareness of everything that happens, perhaps we would not mock at the small occurrence that happened to me today.
I know. It was just a small little thing. But it did make me decide that I was going to pray, ponder and take a bit more time to assure that I am writing what He wants me to write in this blog. If I do not listen in little things, will I listen in big things that He needs done, especially in far away places as we go on our mission?
These last 110 days are flying by rapidly, and I feel I would like to report on this blog an action, what we do to get closer to our mission. Something should be done every day. I have a gazillion goals I have mentioned, and I need to be working on all of them. But we need to do many things also to be ready, for there is a location where Father wants us to go and even more importantly, a time when He wants us ready. Thus, we need to be working toward this Mission daily. Thus today's action is to take the action to commit to report on our daily action to further our preparation to M day.
Monday, February 20, 2012
DAY 111 -- Beauties or Uglies, Which Has My Attention?
What a glorious vision it is. What is "it.?" What a glorious vision is this gospel of Jesus Christ. I think of the blind all across the world who are walking in darkness, not knowing the truth I know. I question where I would be if I did not know the Eternal Truths I know and use to live each day. I question how many of my beloved brothers and sisters are walking in darkness, questioning their life, their purpose, and their destination.
Why am I so blessed to know what I know, to have the Spirit in my life to touch my mind and give me direction, to answer my questions, to comfort me when I am on the verge of fainting? Why am I one of the special to have the power of the Priesthood in my life to permit me to do His will with His approval? Why does He bless me so much every day, every hour as I know what I know.
"Where much is given, much is expected." There must be much expected from me, since I have so much. I know that I am His son just as you are His son or daughter. I know it is His work to get me back into His presence. But there are days like today when I feel so unworthy of the many blessings I have been given, as well as those I received daily, even hourly. I have been given much. I too much share.
But how do I share? With whom do I share? What is expected of me since I have so much? I am afraid that too often I sit and ponder the scriptures, go to church and listen to testimonies and lessons given, live my life as every day, and do not give enough thanks for the blessings I have. I ignore what is expected of me. I don't even let that thought go through my mind.
I am fine. I am plugging along. Yes, I have trials and obstacles, illness and mountains to climb. No everything is not as I would have it. But what do I dwell upon? Are the challenges in front of me so large, at least in my mind, that I do not count my blessings or I don't consider the things I know and hold so dear? Do I concentrate on the road bumps rather than the beauties I have to enjoy and smile about?
I am afraid I have not given enough attention to the beauties in my life and concentrated on the uglies instead. I need to repent and improve. That is my feeling, my goal, and my challenge of today.
Why am I so blessed to know what I know, to have the Spirit in my life to touch my mind and give me direction, to answer my questions, to comfort me when I am on the verge of fainting? Why am I one of the special to have the power of the Priesthood in my life to permit me to do His will with His approval? Why does He bless me so much every day, every hour as I know what I know.
"Where much is given, much is expected." There must be much expected from me, since I have so much. I know that I am His son just as you are His son or daughter. I know it is His work to get me back into His presence. But there are days like today when I feel so unworthy of the many blessings I have been given, as well as those I received daily, even hourly. I have been given much. I too much share.
But how do I share? With whom do I share? What is expected of me since I have so much? I am afraid that too often I sit and ponder the scriptures, go to church and listen to testimonies and lessons given, live my life as every day, and do not give enough thanks for the blessings I have. I ignore what is expected of me. I don't even let that thought go through my mind.
I am fine. I am plugging along. Yes, I have trials and obstacles, illness and mountains to climb. No everything is not as I would have it. But what do I dwell upon? Are the challenges in front of me so large, at least in my mind, that I do not count my blessings or I don't consider the things I know and hold so dear? Do I concentrate on the road bumps rather than the beauties I have to enjoy and smile about?
I am afraid I have not given enough attention to the beauties in my life and concentrated on the uglies instead. I need to repent and improve. That is my feeling, my goal, and my challenge of today.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
DAY 112 -- Delighting and Pondering
Another chance to charge my battery, fill my love bucket, visit with loved ones from the ward, sing praises to the Lord, and ponder during the sacrament today as we go to Sacrament Meeting. Last week were challenged to select a scripture out of the Psalm of Nephi (2 Nephi 4) and memorize it, have it in our minds continually.
I did so, and the one I selected was 2 Nephi 4: 16. This one says, "My soul delighteth in the things of the Lord, and my heart ponderth upon the things which I have seen and heard." The first part of this scripture means much to me. My soul, or my spirit combined with my body delighteth in the things of the Lord. I have taken this thought in my mind many times this week and tried to "delight" in His things. I have recalled to my mind miracles, experiences, revelations, and even witnesses confirming my testimony. Those thoughts have helped me endure challenges and trials I have been blessed with this week.
Now the second part of this scripture is a bit different. I love to ponder my testimony and many other things. I am sure that I am not going to ponder things I have seen compared to Nephi when he saw visions, dreams, directions, and even his Savior. I am not in his league, but I have feel many times the whispering of the Lord, and thus I use that to ponder in my heart.
Joseph Smith said that many of the "sections" of the Doctrine and Covenants were received upon his pondering certain aspects of the gospel, the things he was learning as he was transcribing the Book of Mormon, and the scriptures that were dwelling in his mind. Pondering is a great road to insipration, directions, and even revelation.
I am sure missionaries also received many revelations, or direction from the Spirit upon their pondering the work, the people, and their challenge to bring people to the truth. So, here is another goal we have to work on, pondering the things of the Lord, following the scripture took into my mind this past week, pondering scriptures as Joseph did, and pondering other information and experiences we have had in other time.
My soul delighteth and my heart pondereth...
I did so, and the one I selected was 2 Nephi 4: 16. This one says, "My soul delighteth in the things of the Lord, and my heart ponderth upon the things which I have seen and heard." The first part of this scripture means much to me. My soul, or my spirit combined with my body delighteth in the things of the Lord. I have taken this thought in my mind many times this week and tried to "delight" in His things. I have recalled to my mind miracles, experiences, revelations, and even witnesses confirming my testimony. Those thoughts have helped me endure challenges and trials I have been blessed with this week.
Now the second part of this scripture is a bit different. I love to ponder my testimony and many other things. I am sure that I am not going to ponder things I have seen compared to Nephi when he saw visions, dreams, directions, and even his Savior. I am not in his league, but I have feel many times the whispering of the Lord, and thus I use that to ponder in my heart.
Joseph Smith said that many of the "sections" of the Doctrine and Covenants were received upon his pondering certain aspects of the gospel, the things he was learning as he was transcribing the Book of Mormon, and the scriptures that were dwelling in his mind. Pondering is a great road to insipration, directions, and even revelation.
I am sure missionaries also received many revelations, or direction from the Spirit upon their pondering the work, the people, and their challenge to bring people to the truth. So, here is another goal we have to work on, pondering the things of the Lord, following the scripture took into my mind this past week, pondering scriptures as Joseph did, and pondering other information and experiences we have had in other time.
My soul delighteth and my heart pondereth...
Saturday, February 18, 2012
DAY 113 -- Expanding our Family
Last night we spent a few hours listening to a dear couple we have known for many years. They recently returned from the West Indies as missionaries. Needless to say we are ready to pack our bags and go anywhere.
They shed tears as they shared stories, experiences, and events surrounding the people they met and grew to love. They shared the fear they had to leave their grand children for a time. But they also shared that they hated to leave those people in the West Indies for they had become as if family also. Now they have family in Utah and the West Indies.
Another couple shared that they also shed tears when they had to leave their "family" in Germany as they returned from their mission. I guess you could say that when someone goes on a mission and gives their all, their testimony, loves the members and serves them, that couple is just expanding their family beyond those they gleaned through natural birth.
I remember the same experience as I left the saints in Mexico. I have fmaily down there, if they are still alive after all these years. We are excited to adopt more family wherever the Lord decides to call us.
Yes, I guess the good a senior couple does is also important, but the service, the love one gets from their missionary service is another glorious benefit. We have been anticipating going on this mission for a long time. I served in Mexico. My parents served four, and who knows what will happen in our future. What a glorious experience to meet, grow to love, and serve different people around the world. What a glorious exerience to "suffer" through cold showers, eat real strange food and pretend to like it, see the insignificance of money, give our time to others who are hungry for attention and love, etc.
Only 113 days until our 40th anniversary when we want to be "on our way" or at least in preparation to go.
They shed tears as they shared stories, experiences, and events surrounding the people they met and grew to love. They shared the fear they had to leave their grand children for a time. But they also shared that they hated to leave those people in the West Indies for they had become as if family also. Now they have family in Utah and the West Indies.
Another couple shared that they also shed tears when they had to leave their "family" in Germany as they returned from their mission. I guess you could say that when someone goes on a mission and gives their all, their testimony, loves the members and serves them, that couple is just expanding their family beyond those they gleaned through natural birth.
I remember the same experience as I left the saints in Mexico. I have fmaily down there, if they are still alive after all these years. We are excited to adopt more family wherever the Lord decides to call us.
Yes, I guess the good a senior couple does is also important, but the service, the love one gets from their missionary service is another glorious benefit. We have been anticipating going on this mission for a long time. I served in Mexico. My parents served four, and who knows what will happen in our future. What a glorious experience to meet, grow to love, and serve different people around the world. What a glorious exerience to "suffer" through cold showers, eat real strange food and pretend to like it, see the insignificance of money, give our time to others who are hungry for attention and love, etc.
Only 113 days until our 40th anniversary when we want to be "on our way" or at least in preparation to go.
Friday, February 17, 2012
DAY 114 - What Is In It For Me
Everything we experience is for our benefit. We can learn something from every experience, or we can fail to learn the lesson Father is teaching and have the same lesson presented to us at a later date. It is His glory to bring to pass our Eternal Life. To me that means that every "blessing" or every "trial" is for my benefit.
Today while I remain between my sheets trying to figure out how to get rid of an infection that has taken over my body, I must ask Father to help me learn whatever He is trying to teach me. As I have languished here among pillows and sheets, I have been reading a book, at least when my eyes can focus on the words.
One lesson I have learned, am learning is the principle of "What's in it for me." As I have plenty of time to evaluate that statement, I find out that often that is the motivation that moves me. I am afraid as I think about this, I often subconsciously think of that. Instead, why don't I think "What is in it for them?"
It sounds so selfish. When I am on the way to work, I often think about getting in front of another driver. What's in it for me? I can get to work thirty seconds earlier. Why don't I think, what's in it for him/her? I won't be late, I always get there early, but perhaps they need to get there on time and we wrestle for being in front of each other.
When I am at the grocery store, I always wrestle to get in the shortest line. What is in it for me? I will get home a few seconds earlier, or to an appointment. But what about the one I just stepped in front of. Why can't I be a few seconds later and let them go in front of me?
I am afraid that much of my life is "What is in it for me?" rather than being compassionate and caring about my brothers and sisters that I have never met. Christ was never in that frame of mind, "What is in it for me." Missions have nothing to do with what is in it for me. It is more seeking out opportunities to see what is in it for others and helping them have "it." Well, here is another goal I have to work on for the next 114 days, what is in it for my neighbor, forgetting what is in it for me.
As I lay here, I start thinking and there are many instances of what is in it for me. I better change that. Marley once said to Scrooge, "Man kind should have been our business." I guess that involves this principle also, right?
Today while I remain between my sheets trying to figure out how to get rid of an infection that has taken over my body, I must ask Father to help me learn whatever He is trying to teach me. As I have languished here among pillows and sheets, I have been reading a book, at least when my eyes can focus on the words.
One lesson I have learned, am learning is the principle of "What's in it for me." As I have plenty of time to evaluate that statement, I find out that often that is the motivation that moves me. I am afraid as I think about this, I often subconsciously think of that. Instead, why don't I think "What is in it for them?"
It sounds so selfish. When I am on the way to work, I often think about getting in front of another driver. What's in it for me? I can get to work thirty seconds earlier. Why don't I think, what's in it for him/her? I won't be late, I always get there early, but perhaps they need to get there on time and we wrestle for being in front of each other.
When I am at the grocery store, I always wrestle to get in the shortest line. What is in it for me? I will get home a few seconds earlier, or to an appointment. But what about the one I just stepped in front of. Why can't I be a few seconds later and let them go in front of me?
I am afraid that much of my life is "What is in it for me?" rather than being compassionate and caring about my brothers and sisters that I have never met. Christ was never in that frame of mind, "What is in it for me." Missions have nothing to do with what is in it for me. It is more seeking out opportunities to see what is in it for others and helping them have "it." Well, here is another goal I have to work on for the next 114 days, what is in it for my neighbor, forgetting what is in it for me.
As I lay here, I start thinking and there are many instances of what is in it for me. I better change that. Marley once said to Scrooge, "Man kind should have been our business." I guess that involves this principle also, right?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
DAY 115 -- Enjoy Your Blessing Today In Bed
It is interesting how a little bug can create havoc, delay, depression, and frustration. I mean before this little bug got into my system, I was on my way, dreaming up new goals, working on the hundreds I have already identified, and working toward our mission, making further plans, and getting excited. Then this little bug took a hold of my sinuses, my head, my voice, and my nose. All of a sudden I was in my bed wondering why this had come into my life. As Bonnie went to work and I remained under cover, she said as she walked out of the room, "Enjoy this new blessing."
My eyes got big, I questioned my hearing and as the door closed I decided that perhaps she was right. This was a blessing. I felt miserable, but if we believe the gospel, if we believe the brethren, then every little obstacle and every big obstacle could be, should be a blessing. So as she went off to her duty, I sat there trying to figure out how I could turn this cold/sinus infection into a blessing.
I guess I could say it was a blessing I could stay in bed and enjoy the conversation with my pillow. I guess it could be a blessing because I could stay in the shower with the HOT water beating on my back and not have to worry about being late to work. I guess if I didn't want to, I could delay, or even eliminate brushing my teeth, since I was not going to be around anyone. I guess you could say that I didn't have to put on a tie, which I thoroughly hate doing every morning.
I guess if I pursued along that line, I would come up with many different ways I could count this a blessing. So, between my much needed and appreciated sleep, I read a good book which taught me about me, my spirit, my mortality, etc. So, that was a blessing for there were many nuggets of truth contained therein. I didn't have to make the bed cause I was in it. I didn't have to fight the "Monte Carlo" race to work this morning. I was relieved of many challenges and needed to enjoy the time, feeling awful and realizing it was a blessing.
I know it is hard to greet each challenge, burden, and trial as a blessing, but pausing and trying to count blessings in the midst of a unforeseen event could be, perhaps should be a common occurrence that I should do often, for there are many unforeseen events that try to take away my peace, and my comfort. That is another goal, greet every affliction, burden, trail as an opportunity of growth, a chance to learn and grow. I have to work on that one... By the way, my pillow didn't have any nuggets of truth in our conversation today. If it had, you would have questioned my sanity, right?
My eyes got big, I questioned my hearing and as the door closed I decided that perhaps she was right. This was a blessing. I felt miserable, but if we believe the gospel, if we believe the brethren, then every little obstacle and every big obstacle could be, should be a blessing. So as she went off to her duty, I sat there trying to figure out how I could turn this cold/sinus infection into a blessing.
I guess I could say it was a blessing I could stay in bed and enjoy the conversation with my pillow. I guess it could be a blessing because I could stay in the shower with the HOT water beating on my back and not have to worry about being late to work. I guess if I didn't want to, I could delay, or even eliminate brushing my teeth, since I was not going to be around anyone. I guess you could say that I didn't have to put on a tie, which I thoroughly hate doing every morning.
I guess if I pursued along that line, I would come up with many different ways I could count this a blessing. So, between my much needed and appreciated sleep, I read a good book which taught me about me, my spirit, my mortality, etc. So, that was a blessing for there were many nuggets of truth contained therein. I didn't have to make the bed cause I was in it. I didn't have to fight the "Monte Carlo" race to work this morning. I was relieved of many challenges and needed to enjoy the time, feeling awful and realizing it was a blessing.
I know it is hard to greet each challenge, burden, and trial as a blessing, but pausing and trying to count blessings in the midst of a unforeseen event could be, perhaps should be a common occurrence that I should do often, for there are many unforeseen events that try to take away my peace, and my comfort. That is another goal, greet every affliction, burden, trail as an opportunity of growth, a chance to learn and grow. I have to work on that one... By the way, my pillow didn't have any nuggets of truth in our conversation today. If it had, you would have questioned my sanity, right?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
DAY 116 -- Where Do We Want to Serve?
Wow, I just went and checked into the number of days until June 9th. There are 116. Even counting Leap Day in February, I am right on schedule. WOW.
I went to the temple today to pass out names to members of our stake for Stake Temple Week. We have been challenged to be in the temple for ten hours this week. It was wonderful. I just sat waiting for those members of our stake to come and pick up a name. Few came, but I started at 6 and sat until 8. It was fun sitting in the temple, reading my scriptures. I obtained a new appreciation of Jacob 5. I also chuckled when one of those prophets said that all had been written and he didn't have anything further to say. Then we have a couple of hundred pages beyond that.
I keep thinking about having a mission where half the time you would be out looking for food. I wonder if they would let me take my shot gun and go hunting for big game. If I got a big something, then we could eat for a time, especially if we fasted every other day. Then we could get more work done, right? What an interesting mission.
I have thoroughly loved teaching through my 60 years in the kingdom. I loved teaching to the Young Adults and I know there are missions that would involved teaching to the youth. But when I think of that, when I realize that the Headquarters of the church is doing all they can do to allow most seniors to go where they want to go, I hesitate to say where we "want" to go.
I mean, there were many witnesses when I was a young missionaries where I was in the right city at the right time to be most effective in serving and finding and converting. Is that just for younger missionaries? What if we decide to request a mission and then the Lord tells us that He wanted us elsewhere but we destroyed that by telling him that we "wanted" to go to a different place.
I struggle over that. Should I just say that we can be used anywhere? I feel that way, but there are places on the papers that we can say where we want to go. This is just another thing I want to put in His hands and let Him either tell us where he wants us to go so we can put our preferences, or we just approach our mission call and leave it totally in His hands. Who knows. That is one thing that is giving me ulcers, at least right now. But I am sure it will all work out in His time and to our comfort. Patience. Where do we want to serve? Maybe I can take my sling shot, or poison, or a knife, or a steel bow? (I wonder how Nephi broke his bow that was made of find steel. I can't wait to ask him.)
I went to the temple today to pass out names to members of our stake for Stake Temple Week. We have been challenged to be in the temple for ten hours this week. It was wonderful. I just sat waiting for those members of our stake to come and pick up a name. Few came, but I started at 6 and sat until 8. It was fun sitting in the temple, reading my scriptures. I obtained a new appreciation of Jacob 5. I also chuckled when one of those prophets said that all had been written and he didn't have anything further to say. Then we have a couple of hundred pages beyond that.
I keep thinking about having a mission where half the time you would be out looking for food. I wonder if they would let me take my shot gun and go hunting for big game. If I got a big something, then we could eat for a time, especially if we fasted every other day. Then we could get more work done, right? What an interesting mission.
I have thoroughly loved teaching through my 60 years in the kingdom. I loved teaching to the Young Adults and I know there are missions that would involved teaching to the youth. But when I think of that, when I realize that the Headquarters of the church is doing all they can do to allow most seniors to go where they want to go, I hesitate to say where we "want" to go.
I mean, there were many witnesses when I was a young missionaries where I was in the right city at the right time to be most effective in serving and finding and converting. Is that just for younger missionaries? What if we decide to request a mission and then the Lord tells us that He wanted us elsewhere but we destroyed that by telling him that we "wanted" to go to a different place.
I struggle over that. Should I just say that we can be used anywhere? I feel that way, but there are places on the papers that we can say where we want to go. This is just another thing I want to put in His hands and let Him either tell us where he wants us to go so we can put our preferences, or we just approach our mission call and leave it totally in His hands. Who knows. That is one thing that is giving me ulcers, at least right now. But I am sure it will all work out in His time and to our comfort. Patience. Where do we want to serve? Maybe I can take my sling shot, or poison, or a knife, or a steel bow? (I wonder how Nephi broke his bow that was made of find steel. I can't wait to ask him.)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
DAY 117 - Number 2 -- Different Mission, and Valentines Day
There are missions in Latvia and in other areas in the African area. I heard this morning of a mission where every city gets four missionaries. Two to track and two to find. They trade off responsibilities every day. One day one couple tracts out interested people to hear the gospel, or activation of members who are not going to church. The other couple of missionaries has the responsibilities of finding food. They spend the whole day searching for the food for the day. It is available, but must be found. It is expensive, but the alternative is not eating.
THAT would be a very interesting mission. Another mission I heard about today is one in a country where they just opened the country to missionary work. You can imagine how difficult it would be to try to get the populace to want to hear the gospel when they have never heard of anything about Christ. Fun. It would be an "interesting" mission.
So many ask where we want to go. Don't know if my companion would love to be in a place where we had to search for tomorrow's and even today's food. But we both still feel we will go where the Lord needs us, even to Africa or anywhere.
Speaking of my companion, today is the day when we should pause and consider our sweetheart. I do that often. She does so many things for me daily, especially things that I do not know about, or I choose not to know about them. I mean there seems always to be clothes in my closet and drawer. I choose to assume that they wash themselves, fold themselves and appear in my top drawer all the time. I choose to assume that the bed makes itself, and my food appears magically.
Too often the things that she does are taken for granted and seldom do I offer appreciation for her sacrifice in my behalf. Often when we pray with each other, I offer gratitude to Father for all she does for me, but if I specified all the things she does, I would be praying for many hours, like Enos of the Book of Mormon. Maybe I ought to be more appreciative and offer that appreciation to her. Another goal, right?
Happy Valentines Day my sweet companion.
THAT would be a very interesting mission. Another mission I heard about today is one in a country where they just opened the country to missionary work. You can imagine how difficult it would be to try to get the populace to want to hear the gospel when they have never heard of anything about Christ. Fun. It would be an "interesting" mission.
So many ask where we want to go. Don't know if my companion would love to be in a place where we had to search for tomorrow's and even today's food. But we both still feel we will go where the Lord needs us, even to Africa or anywhere.
Speaking of my companion, today is the day when we should pause and consider our sweetheart. I do that often. She does so many things for me daily, especially things that I do not know about, or I choose not to know about them. I mean there seems always to be clothes in my closet and drawer. I choose to assume that they wash themselves, fold themselves and appear in my top drawer all the time. I choose to assume that the bed makes itself, and my food appears magically.
Too often the things that she does are taken for granted and seldom do I offer appreciation for her sacrifice in my behalf. Often when we pray with each other, I offer gratitude to Father for all she does for me, but if I specified all the things she does, I would be praying for many hours, like Enos of the Book of Mormon. Maybe I ought to be more appreciative and offer that appreciation to her. Another goal, right?
Happy Valentines Day my sweet companion.
DAY 117 -- Realizing this Dream
I started this blog, or whatever you call it when we had one year to wait for our mission. Better said, we had 365 days until we were going to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We both figured that we would love to celebrate our anniversary as we went on a mission.
We have talked about going on a mission for many years. I wanted to go quite a while ago, and every time we sang "Called to Serve" or "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" and other songs, my heart hurt for our inability to go. There were many things in the way It was hard to realize that I was old enough yet not prepared to go. I saw friends from our ward go and enjoy themselves serving our Savior. It was hard being patient to wait.
Well a few years ago, I left my business in Brigham City and had to take with me about $15,000 debt largely because of the economy. Then, we were blessed to sell our home with only about $15,000 shortage on it.
I found out that the Church won't let anyone go on a mission if they are in debt. So I was unemployed, homeless, moneyless, and still wanting to go on a mission. As we looked into our affairs, we decided that since we had such wonderful kids, and they would sacrifice and let us live with them (taking care of the homeless problem) we would move in with them. In the past two to three years, three different children have let us live with them.
The moneyless challenge was another obstacle in front of us. So, after I had looked for 18 months to find an income, I found a job that the boss was willing to hire me even though I was older than he is. He pays me peanuts, or perhaps rather than peanuts, he pays me the peanuts shells, not even the peanuts. Bonnie continued driving the bus, carrying handicapped kids. With those two incomes, we put together a plan to be out of debt by M day, in June. With a few tender mercies, we will be out of debt and have a way to support us on our mission. Miracles do happen.
So, we are now putting together our papers to be able to serve our Savior wherever we are called. I don't mean to say that all is well and in place, but it is getting there. With just 117 days, we hope to be going away to be full time in His service.
I remember when I returned from Mexico, I remember saying to myself as well as my family that I would love to serve Him full time the rest of my life. I came home in December of 1970. Forty two and one half years later, I hope to take my companion with me and go and do. Elder Holland, thanks for the encouragement through the statement on the front page of this blog. I know that soon, we will be able to realize this dream.
We have talked about going on a mission for many years. I wanted to go quite a while ago, and every time we sang "Called to Serve" or "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" and other songs, my heart hurt for our inability to go. There were many things in the way It was hard to realize that I was old enough yet not prepared to go. I saw friends from our ward go and enjoy themselves serving our Savior. It was hard being patient to wait.
Well a few years ago, I left my business in Brigham City and had to take with me about $15,000 debt largely because of the economy. Then, we were blessed to sell our home with only about $15,000 shortage on it.
I found out that the Church won't let anyone go on a mission if they are in debt. So I was unemployed, homeless, moneyless, and still wanting to go on a mission. As we looked into our affairs, we decided that since we had such wonderful kids, and they would sacrifice and let us live with them (taking care of the homeless problem) we would move in with them. In the past two to three years, three different children have let us live with them.
The moneyless challenge was another obstacle in front of us. So, after I had looked for 18 months to find an income, I found a job that the boss was willing to hire me even though I was older than he is. He pays me peanuts, or perhaps rather than peanuts, he pays me the peanuts shells, not even the peanuts. Bonnie continued driving the bus, carrying handicapped kids. With those two incomes, we put together a plan to be out of debt by M day, in June. With a few tender mercies, we will be out of debt and have a way to support us on our mission. Miracles do happen.
So, we are now putting together our papers to be able to serve our Savior wherever we are called. I don't mean to say that all is well and in place, but it is getting there. With just 117 days, we hope to be going away to be full time in His service.
I remember when I returned from Mexico, I remember saying to myself as well as my family that I would love to serve Him full time the rest of my life. I came home in December of 1970. Forty two and one half years later, I hope to take my companion with me and go and do. Elder Holland, thanks for the encouragement through the statement on the front page of this blog. I know that soon, we will be able to realize this dream.
Monday, February 13, 2012
DAY 118 - We Started
Well, yesterday we started to fill out the papers for our mission. You would not believe what they ask. Can you walk up stairs? Can you work a full day? Do you have the sniffles? Have you ever had them before? Are you taking any meds? Are you under a doctors care? Where have you served thrin the Kingdom oughout your life? Do you know what a transfer is? What does "Riding you bags" mean? Are you trunky? What does trunky mean?
No, they were not all there, but they ask everying in the world except what is your favorite color. I guess the brethren have to know what you think, do you think and how much to do you think? Are you a thinkaholic?
I am sorry, I am making fun of the challenge to fill out all those questions. If I was a mechanic, I am sure, or at least would assume they would send me to a place that needs a mechanic. If I speak Spanish (Which I do) then they will probably send me to China, or to Salt Lake City.
I really shouldn't make fun of any of this, for it is the way to serve a mission and I am sure there are many concrete reasons why each question is asked, and I am sure that there are people who look at every answer we put on those papers. There are good reasons, thus I should repent from my "tongue in cheek".
Anyway, we are in process, and we plan on submitting our papers in mid April. Of course that is our plan right now, but we shall do so if nothing else falls out of place. Goals still are goals. Dreams still are dreams. We are only 118 days away from our M day. Excitement is coming and I hesitate to dream too much about serving a mission with Bonnie, for I won't get anything else done. It is going to be so wonderful to serve full time in another location, even Toelle.
No, they were not all there, but they ask everying in the world except what is your favorite color. I guess the brethren have to know what you think, do you think and how much to do you think? Are you a thinkaholic?
I am sorry, I am making fun of the challenge to fill out all those questions. If I was a mechanic, I am sure, or at least would assume they would send me to a place that needs a mechanic. If I speak Spanish (Which I do) then they will probably send me to China, or to Salt Lake City.
I really shouldn't make fun of any of this, for it is the way to serve a mission and I am sure there are many concrete reasons why each question is asked, and I am sure that there are people who look at every answer we put on those papers. There are good reasons, thus I should repent from my "tongue in cheek".
Anyway, we are in process, and we plan on submitting our papers in mid April. Of course that is our plan right now, but we shall do so if nothing else falls out of place. Goals still are goals. Dreams still are dreams. We are only 118 days away from our M day. Excitement is coming and I hesitate to dream too much about serving a mission with Bonnie, for I won't get anything else done. It is going to be so wonderful to serve full time in another location, even Toelle.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
DAY 119 --- Love Thy Neighbor...
You guessed it, I get to teach today. Love Thy Neighbor as thyself. It is the second greatest commandment. How it is not an easy one to obey. Consider a friend of mine names Momo Kingsley who lives in Nigeria. Do you love him? Do I? How can you love a perfect stranger? Is it possible? One would say that it is easier to love a stranger than someone you know, for you know that one's failures, their choice to be evil, or good, to bless other's lives or curse them, etc.
Can you love Josh Powell? How about Kobe Bryant? Or even our politicians? Can you love your neighbors without knowing them very well? Perhaps it is not as easy to love our neighbor as one would think.
We could get into loving oneself, but we won't for that would take a long time to figure out how we can love ourselves. At least for some of us...
We must remember that this commandment comes after we are commanded to love our God, and then love others. Is that required? First to love our Father, and THEN love others?
Can we love those who propose, endorse, and promote evil things? Christ said that He loved the individual, but does not love the actions of that individual. Can we do that?
When one High Priest said that when he sees someone he judges their condition and realizes that they are there because of their decisions. It is their fault, so why love them?
We can love the Lord though all things. However, it is hard to love those that despitefully use us, yet we have been commanded to do so. Love our neighbor. Even those we do not know. Can we love those we have never met? Should we? Do we always realize that everyone on earth is our brother and sister, everyone. We don't have to condone their actions. We have no right to judge them nor their actions, someone else, like our Savior will do that. But we should love everyone as fellow children of God.
Can you love Josh Powell? How about Kobe Bryant? Or even our politicians? Can you love your neighbors without knowing them very well? Perhaps it is not as easy to love our neighbor as one would think.
We could get into loving oneself, but we won't for that would take a long time to figure out how we can love ourselves. At least for some of us...
We must remember that this commandment comes after we are commanded to love our God, and then love others. Is that required? First to love our Father, and THEN love others?
Can we love those who propose, endorse, and promote evil things? Christ said that He loved the individual, but does not love the actions of that individual. Can we do that?
When one High Priest said that when he sees someone he judges their condition and realizes that they are there because of their decisions. It is their fault, so why love them?
We can love the Lord though all things. However, it is hard to love those that despitefully use us, yet we have been commanded to do so. Love our neighbor. Even those we do not know. Can we love those we have never met? Should we? Do we always realize that everyone on earth is our brother and sister, everyone. We don't have to condone their actions. We have no right to judge them nor their actions, someone else, like our Savior will do that. But we should love everyone as fellow children of God.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
DAY 120 -- Seasons of Life We All Have?
It dawned on me that I have been a basket case for quite some time. My daughter in law who has been married to my second oldest son said that since she has been in the family, I have been struggling with my health. That has been about 15 years. UGLY. Before that I was playing basketball three times a week at 5:30 in the morning. I was playing softball and also racquetball. I was quite active.
Then in the 90's, I started having kidney stones. I had one about every six to eight months for about ten years. Didn't know why, but they came and they came. Then one day they stopped. I have not had one of them for quite some time. Then my 'roid started bleeding and they have been on their bleeding rampage for the last ten years. Maybe they will go away just like those little kidney stones went away. Does a body go from a weakness for one thing into another stage of weakness of another thing?
I wonder when I get over these bleeding things, will another "blessing" come into my life to teach me about my health? I would imagine that if I cannot become totally healthy, then as our mission papers go in, the brethren will question, or will have my health dictate what we can and cannot do.
Therefore, it is certainly time to stop blessing pints of blood every day. Of course I am exaggerating, but it feels like it.
So that is one goal that I have to take care of, so I can exercise again, after all these years and be healthy, able to run marathons, jump small and even large building, and run faster than a speeding bullet, no matter I am over sixty, I am healthy, and will be more healthy in the future, I am sure. It just takes a few blessings from Father. We have done all we can do, but there are always many different remedies that remain untested. I guess we can try some other possible remedies until one of the remedies creates another problem or kills me. Who knows.
But that is one of the goals I need to continue to follow, getting healthy, showing my daughter in law that I am not as fragile as I have shown her I am. "Seasons" of life we all go through I surmise.
Then in the 90's, I started having kidney stones. I had one about every six to eight months for about ten years. Didn't know why, but they came and they came. Then one day they stopped. I have not had one of them for quite some time. Then my 'roid started bleeding and they have been on their bleeding rampage for the last ten years. Maybe they will go away just like those little kidney stones went away. Does a body go from a weakness for one thing into another stage of weakness of another thing?
I wonder when I get over these bleeding things, will another "blessing" come into my life to teach me about my health? I would imagine that if I cannot become totally healthy, then as our mission papers go in, the brethren will question, or will have my health dictate what we can and cannot do.
Therefore, it is certainly time to stop blessing pints of blood every day. Of course I am exaggerating, but it feels like it.
So that is one goal that I have to take care of, so I can exercise again, after all these years and be healthy, able to run marathons, jump small and even large building, and run faster than a speeding bullet, no matter I am over sixty, I am healthy, and will be more healthy in the future, I am sure. It just takes a few blessings from Father. We have done all we can do, but there are always many different remedies that remain untested. I guess we can try some other possible remedies until one of the remedies creates another problem or kills me. Who knows.
But that is one of the goals I need to continue to follow, getting healthy, showing my daughter in law that I am not as fragile as I have shown her I am. "Seasons" of life we all go through I surmise.
Friday, February 10, 2012
DAY 121 -- Staying Constant Throughout the Whole Day, Joyful
Yesterday I was talking about always remembering Christ. It is a covenant we make each Sunday. Well, I was thinking that perhaps I should invite Him, or the Holy Ghost to accompany me throughout the day. So I decided to do that. I just felt comfortable that one of the Godhead was walking with me throughout my day.
It started out great. Good drive to work. Greeted everyone with a smile and cheer. I felt accompanied with the Spirit with me. It was wonderful. I continued the day with a prayer of thanksgiving in my heart. Everything was going well.
And of course, when everything seems to be going well, someone else from the evil world tries to get involved. He isn't happy when things are going well in my life. He just had to interpose his presence. Then, slowly as I continued to try to have the Spirit with me throughout the day, things started to happen. My co-worker got sick. I had to do things I was not planning on. Then I could not make a few calls I was hoping to make and things went awry.
I paused and realized that "things" didn't need to cause me to stop having a prayer in my heart, nor stop feeling the Spirit in my life. I tried to recall that sweet peaceful feeling. I said a tiny, silent prayer, and it wasn't enough.
I guess that is an indication of my weakness. I tried to get that peaceful, sweet feeling into my mind again, but it was gone. I wasn't an angry beast, but I did not feel that comforting assurance of Father's love in my life.
Then when I got home, I again felt picked upon. I felt things were not going as I planned and I barked at Bonnie. We went to sing last night and that sweet Spirit came as we sang those wonderful songs once again.
It is amazing to me that the ugly one who is the father of all lies seems to put his presence, his influence, his followers into our lives when we want to improve, want to feel Spirit, want to feel peace and joy. He is crafty and knows my weak points to push.
I guess it is a never ending batter throughout mortality, to forget him, ignore him, and continue to dwell upon the wondering things of the Spirit, reject ANY influence that tries to take away that peace, joy, and comfort. So I guess it will be a daily battle, daily struggle, a daily goal. Perhaps some who read this do not struggle as I do, but I know I must try harder, for I know it is possible.
It started out great. Good drive to work. Greeted everyone with a smile and cheer. I felt accompanied with the Spirit with me. It was wonderful. I continued the day with a prayer of thanksgiving in my heart. Everything was going well.
And of course, when everything seems to be going well, someone else from the evil world tries to get involved. He isn't happy when things are going well in my life. He just had to interpose his presence. Then, slowly as I continued to try to have the Spirit with me throughout the day, things started to happen. My co-worker got sick. I had to do things I was not planning on. Then I could not make a few calls I was hoping to make and things went awry.
I paused and realized that "things" didn't need to cause me to stop having a prayer in my heart, nor stop feeling the Spirit in my life. I tried to recall that sweet peaceful feeling. I said a tiny, silent prayer, and it wasn't enough.
I guess that is an indication of my weakness. I tried to get that peaceful, sweet feeling into my mind again, but it was gone. I wasn't an angry beast, but I did not feel that comforting assurance of Father's love in my life.
Then when I got home, I again felt picked upon. I felt things were not going as I planned and I barked at Bonnie. We went to sing last night and that sweet Spirit came as we sang those wonderful songs once again.
It is amazing to me that the ugly one who is the father of all lies seems to put his presence, his influence, his followers into our lives when we want to improve, want to feel Spirit, want to feel peace and joy. He is crafty and knows my weak points to push.
I guess it is a never ending batter throughout mortality, to forget him, ignore him, and continue to dwell upon the wondering things of the Spirit, reject ANY influence that tries to take away that peace, joy, and comfort. So I guess it will be a daily battle, daily struggle, a daily goal. Perhaps some who read this do not struggle as I do, but I know I must try harder, for I know it is possible.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
DAY 122 -- Thinking Of Christ
2 Nephi 25:26. This scripture talks about Christ. I love it, read it this morning, and feel to amplify on it. We talk of Christ. Do we? How long has it been since we talked of Christ. We think of Christ. How long has it been since we really thought of Christ. We preach of Christ. How long has it been since we taught of Christ?
Sounds good. But in reality, I question how often I really do think of my Savior during the day. When dealing with co-workers, when solving some one's problem, when answering the phone, when eating lunch, how often do I think of Christ? Remember the words, "always remember him." What does always mean?
2 Bill 25:26, or my scripture says: When driving to work and someone cuts me off in traffic, do I think of Christ? When sitting at my desk and trying to work, do I think of Christ? When I greet people at work, do I think of Christ? When getting angry because the traffic light is taking too long, do I think of Christ? When purchasing something for the home or work, do I think of Christ? When typing on the computer, do I think of Christ? When filling up my gas tank, do I think of Christ? When paying bills, do I think of Christ? When dropping off to sleep, do I think of Christ?
When doing nothing and letting thoughts flow through my mind, questioning things, do I think of Christ? When considering what is going to happen tonight at home, do I think of Christ? How often do I even consider how important Christ is in my life?
Missionaries should be thinking of Christ almost constantly, for they are His representatives to the world. They leave their homes, go away, leave family behind and then represent Christ in many ways, in talk, in actions, in preaching, in greeting people, in bearing testimony of the truth, etc. So according to the scriptures, we should become accustomed to having Christ on our lips throughout the day, every day, and we should start practicing that today, preparing for the time when all day, every day we will be looked at as one who represents Christ daily. Another goal to work on.
I will strive to do so today. As I awoke, I felt His Spirit in my mind and if I am careful, there should be no reason to trudge through this day without Him. I shall try to return and report tomorrow.
Sounds good. But in reality, I question how often I really do think of my Savior during the day. When dealing with co-workers, when solving some one's problem, when answering the phone, when eating lunch, how often do I think of Christ? Remember the words, "always remember him." What does always mean?
2 Bill 25:26, or my scripture says: When driving to work and someone cuts me off in traffic, do I think of Christ? When sitting at my desk and trying to work, do I think of Christ? When I greet people at work, do I think of Christ? When getting angry because the traffic light is taking too long, do I think of Christ? When purchasing something for the home or work, do I think of Christ? When typing on the computer, do I think of Christ? When filling up my gas tank, do I think of Christ? When paying bills, do I think of Christ? When dropping off to sleep, do I think of Christ?
When doing nothing and letting thoughts flow through my mind, questioning things, do I think of Christ? When considering what is going to happen tonight at home, do I think of Christ? How often do I even consider how important Christ is in my life?
Missionaries should be thinking of Christ almost constantly, for they are His representatives to the world. They leave their homes, go away, leave family behind and then represent Christ in many ways, in talk, in actions, in preaching, in greeting people, in bearing testimony of the truth, etc. So according to the scriptures, we should become accustomed to having Christ on our lips throughout the day, every day, and we should start practicing that today, preparing for the time when all day, every day we will be looked at as one who represents Christ daily. Another goal to work on.
I will strive to do so today. As I awoke, I felt His Spirit in my mind and if I am careful, there should be no reason to trudge through this day without Him. I shall try to return and report tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
DAY 123 - Paradigm Shift
I have always heard that phrase "paradigm" shift. What exactly does that mean? A change of thoughts, or a change of events, or a change of what? It certainly is a change. Well, since I am the one who is posting, I guess it can mean whatever I think it means. Right?
When I came to work at Nomen Global where we search for International Students, since I am an entrepreneur, I felt the concept, the vision of the boss to be mine also. I could see the good he is doing, but I also realized that I was involved. I was totally committed at NG.
But through events, circumstances, it was told to me that I am here working, doing all I can, but have no part of the boss's dreams, visions, I am just an employee, doing a job. I am not anything else. A friend said the other day that it is almost impossible for an entrepreneur to be an employee. Mainly because the Entrepreneur has a certain belief in how things should be done, how he has done them before, how he could help others do things the right way.
So, it has been a very difficult thing to try to be an employee, seeing problems, errors, and things not done as efficiently as they should be. I tried once to share and explain, but I was abruptly told that it is his business and not mine, so please do the work the way he wants me to.
So I start the grind again, doing it his way, and losing visions and dreams how things should be, could be better. Now I know that I am not the expert, but I have had many businesses and can see errors that are made, challenges that come back to bit an owner, but must not say anything. I am coping with the fact that I have felt the Spirit telling me I should remain here. Once in the past few months, another job opened up, and I was told my place was here, not looking for another job.
However, the Paradigm shift is telling me that I need to not be so committed to remain here. If I find another job that will help propel us on our way toward our mission, I should seriously consider it. I am not as tied as I once was here. But who is going to consider hiring an old man for four months when he is going to leave the country in four months.
Anyway, after the earthquake of one week ago, I feel I should pursue other things for the last four months. (Tongue in Cheek, or TIC) Perhaps that is going to be how I "find" $50,000 before I leave for a mission? So I will continue to be one of the greatest employees he has, but will not stop my eyes from wandering to other means to earn a living for four months. Is that a paradigm shift? Is it when I feel I even should consider what else I can do to more adequately prepare for our mission? Anyway, be that whatever it is, I feel differently right now, and the next few weeks will tell me whether it means anything or not.
NOTE: I finally figured out what a PARADIGM is. It is twenty cents, right. A paradigm plus a nickel is a quarter. Just a thought.
When I came to work at Nomen Global where we search for International Students, since I am an entrepreneur, I felt the concept, the vision of the boss to be mine also. I could see the good he is doing, but I also realized that I was involved. I was totally committed at NG.
But through events, circumstances, it was told to me that I am here working, doing all I can, but have no part of the boss's dreams, visions, I am just an employee, doing a job. I am not anything else. A friend said the other day that it is almost impossible for an entrepreneur to be an employee. Mainly because the Entrepreneur has a certain belief in how things should be done, how he has done them before, how he could help others do things the right way.
So, it has been a very difficult thing to try to be an employee, seeing problems, errors, and things not done as efficiently as they should be. I tried once to share and explain, but I was abruptly told that it is his business and not mine, so please do the work the way he wants me to.
So I start the grind again, doing it his way, and losing visions and dreams how things should be, could be better. Now I know that I am not the expert, but I have had many businesses and can see errors that are made, challenges that come back to bit an owner, but must not say anything. I am coping with the fact that I have felt the Spirit telling me I should remain here. Once in the past few months, another job opened up, and I was told my place was here, not looking for another job.
However, the Paradigm shift is telling me that I need to not be so committed to remain here. If I find another job that will help propel us on our way toward our mission, I should seriously consider it. I am not as tied as I once was here. But who is going to consider hiring an old man for four months when he is going to leave the country in four months.
Anyway, after the earthquake of one week ago, I feel I should pursue other things for the last four months. (Tongue in Cheek, or TIC) Perhaps that is going to be how I "find" $50,000 before I leave for a mission? So I will continue to be one of the greatest employees he has, but will not stop my eyes from wandering to other means to earn a living for four months. Is that a paradigm shift? Is it when I feel I even should consider what else I can do to more adequately prepare for our mission? Anyway, be that whatever it is, I feel differently right now, and the next few weeks will tell me whether it means anything or not.
NOTE: I finally figured out what a PARADIGM is. It is twenty cents, right. A paradigm plus a nickel is a quarter. Just a thought.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
DAY 124 -- Know Thyself, Again
It is sad to relate that after sixty years of growing, learning, experiencing and questioning, I am still learning who I am. And maybe just as important, what am I supposed to do in this life for Father. Yes, I know, I have read my Patriarchal Blessing many times. I know it by heart almost. I know there are things that I have not done yet, things that I have. But how can I prepare for more of what Father wants me to do?
Who am I? I can say I am a father, grandfather, son, brother, High Priest, member of the church.... The list could go on and on. These things add to defining who I am. But I also struggle with who I should be. Who I am to certain people, who I am to Father.
He knows who I am, but I do not. I mean what talents are laying dormant in me that I need to develop, or identify and pursue? What abilities should I exercise in His behalf, in behalf of the Kingdom? Is there something that I should be doing that I am not?
Is Father proud of the life I am living, I have lived? Are there things that I still need to repent of? Are my prayers as effective and heart felt as they should be? Do I need to "become" something that I am not as yet?
You see there are many questions going through my mind in this question. I think of the "AS IF" principle. Should I act as if I am humble, smart, or handsome? Then I will be right? There are always questions along this line...
One of the greatest blessings that any parent can instill in their child is a firm, strong understanding of value. Most teens go astray because they do not know that they are of value and struggle with that for, often times, their whole lives.
Who am I? I would propose the years I have lived have taught me many things. Some of them help to identify that I am truly Father's son. Some of them, at times, let me know of His love, always there and always supporting me. Some of those years have prepared me for these years, and I know who I am. But there is still many lessons to learn about who I, a 62 year old, am. (NOTE: I just realized that I am married to a sixty four year old today. We just had the Beatles rendition of: "When I'm sixty four." Bonnie danced through it." ) Now for tomorrow, because of learning a lesson of who I am, at least a bit more added to that lesson, I am having a paradigm shift, I change of heart. Post about that tomorrow. However, let me conclude saying that "Who I Am" still haunts me off and on. It is not a given, and is something that I continue to work on, even at 62.
Who am I? I can say I am a father, grandfather, son, brother, High Priest, member of the church.... The list could go on and on. These things add to defining who I am. But I also struggle with who I should be. Who I am to certain people, who I am to Father.
He knows who I am, but I do not. I mean what talents are laying dormant in me that I need to develop, or identify and pursue? What abilities should I exercise in His behalf, in behalf of the Kingdom? Is there something that I should be doing that I am not?
Is Father proud of the life I am living, I have lived? Are there things that I still need to repent of? Are my prayers as effective and heart felt as they should be? Do I need to "become" something that I am not as yet?
You see there are many questions going through my mind in this question. I think of the "AS IF" principle. Should I act as if I am humble, smart, or handsome? Then I will be right? There are always questions along this line...
One of the greatest blessings that any parent can instill in their child is a firm, strong understanding of value. Most teens go astray because they do not know that they are of value and struggle with that for, often times, their whole lives.
Who am I? I would propose the years I have lived have taught me many things. Some of them help to identify that I am truly Father's son. Some of them, at times, let me know of His love, always there and always supporting me. Some of those years have prepared me for these years, and I know who I am. But there is still many lessons to learn about who I, a 62 year old, am. (NOTE: I just realized that I am married to a sixty four year old today. We just had the Beatles rendition of: "When I'm sixty four." Bonnie danced through it." ) Now for tomorrow, because of learning a lesson of who I am, at least a bit more added to that lesson, I am having a paradigm shift, I change of heart. Post about that tomorrow. However, let me conclude saying that "Who I Am" still haunts me off and on. It is not a given, and is something that I continue to work on, even at 62.
Monday, February 6, 2012
DAY 125 -- Who Am I
One of the most important things we do in this life is find out who we are. I have spent over 60 years trying to figure that out. I am still learning. Yesterday I was asked by a Primary worker if I would teach Primary. It is one of the few things I have not done in the Kingdom. I recall my experience trying to be the teachers advisor. It was hard. That is a difficult challenge.
I have been asked to substitute teaching in Primary a few times, and the time I did, it was very hard. Someone once told me that I should never teach young kids, I should stick with adults. I feel I am a decent adult teachers. Once in High Priests they asked what talent we felt we had and then share what we thought we needed to improve on. I said I felt I was a good teacher, and I also felt that I needed to improve on my teaching.
Well, back to learning. I asked Bonnie to go with me to hold my hand. Well, it went pretty well, especially when I let the expert, Bonnie, and the Spirit teach more than I did. I again discovered that I would have to be taught, trained, and helped in teaching young kids if I was ever called there.
I realize that Bonnie waited until she was around 40 years old before she knew she had a talent for writing music. During that period of time, she wrote many, many songs, all of which were wonderful, uplifting and inspirational. Since she did that a bit later in life, I guess I can learn to teach young kids later in life, say around age 60?
Identifying who we are consists of learning what we can do and are good at. It also means learning what talents we have and perhaps have not known about before. It means having Spirit teach us more about who we are and who we have been.
We all have an identity, a personality, and we are a certain individual personality. Part of mortality is identifying that person. Often it takes many years to find out who we are. Even at age 60 + I am learning who I am, and who I am not. Consider these questions. Was I valiant in the testimony of Christ? Did I know you before I came here? Are we Pre-Earth friends? Did I promise to do more than I have done thus far in my life? Do I have talents that I have not developed yet? Is there someone I need to be, or is there someone I should know that I have not known about? How can I know stronger about Jesus, Father and Mother in Heaven? Is there a work I need to do NOW?
The questions are many and unanswered. Tomorrow I will post more about "Know Thyself," for I feel it is something that we all need to work on. But more importantly, I need to know more about who I am.
I have been asked to substitute teaching in Primary a few times, and the time I did, it was very hard. Someone once told me that I should never teach young kids, I should stick with adults. I feel I am a decent adult teachers. Once in High Priests they asked what talent we felt we had and then share what we thought we needed to improve on. I said I felt I was a good teacher, and I also felt that I needed to improve on my teaching.
Well, back to learning. I asked Bonnie to go with me to hold my hand. Well, it went pretty well, especially when I let the expert, Bonnie, and the Spirit teach more than I did. I again discovered that I would have to be taught, trained, and helped in teaching young kids if I was ever called there.
I realize that Bonnie waited until she was around 40 years old before she knew she had a talent for writing music. During that period of time, she wrote many, many songs, all of which were wonderful, uplifting and inspirational. Since she did that a bit later in life, I guess I can learn to teach young kids later in life, say around age 60?
Identifying who we are consists of learning what we can do and are good at. It also means learning what talents we have and perhaps have not known about before. It means having Spirit teach us more about who we are and who we have been.
We all have an identity, a personality, and we are a certain individual personality. Part of mortality is identifying that person. Often it takes many years to find out who we are. Even at age 60 + I am learning who I am, and who I am not. Consider these questions. Was I valiant in the testimony of Christ? Did I know you before I came here? Are we Pre-Earth friends? Did I promise to do more than I have done thus far in my life? Do I have talents that I have not developed yet? Is there someone I need to be, or is there someone I should know that I have not known about? How can I know stronger about Jesus, Father and Mother in Heaven? Is there a work I need to do NOW?
The questions are many and unanswered. Tomorrow I will post more about "Know Thyself," for I feel it is something that we all need to work on. But more importantly, I need to know more about who I am.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
DAY 126 -- Perfecting the Saints, Proclaim the Gospel
As I started to read through our mission papers, another thought crossed my mind. Of the three fold mission of the church, most would assume that a mission is part of the "Proclaim the Gospel." As I ponder about the "Redeem the Dead" I am pleased to report that our ward is doing work for Elsie Schaubel Partridge. She died in 1960 and a few months ago touched my sister's mind and told her to do the Schaubel line. She did and sent the nearly 200 names to me. I talked with my bishop and now the ward is working on her line.
Now we get back to the 'Proclaim the Gospel" part of the church. When reading the mission papers we are starting to fill out, the brethren explain in those papers often a mission for the seniors is more for "Perfect the Saints" rather than proclaiming the gospel. The young missionaries are involved with proclaiming while the seniors are often more involved in perfecting the members, showing them how to serve, love, and strengthen other members.
Senior missionaries are not required to learn a language. They are not required to proselyte nor teach lessons. They are not involved in the proclaiming of the truths we all love. They are more often called to activate, strengthen, teach other members, etc.
When I was called as bishop many years ago, I had the desire to translate our ward. I could see, feel the beauties of Zion and unity. (In case you were wondering, I didn't quite achieve that goal, but it was a good one.) And now since we will be soon involved with perfecting the saints all over the world, isn't preparing a people for Zion part of perfecting the saints. What does perfecting the saints involved? Is it taking the testimonies that someone already has and helping them endure well and become perfected?
That can happen in our wards today as well as in the mission field all across the globe. I have always loved the concept of establishing Zion. I love the scriptures involving Zion and pursuing it. As the world turns more wicked and Satan's grasp gets stronger, there is a urgent need to know Zion and work toward it. I would assume that we will be doing so when the Lord calls us to a location, perfecting the saints as well as "calling" on a peculiar people to know, understand, and work towards becoming a Zion..
The whole concept that rings through my mind is using the talents and visions, and dreams and pre-earth preparation to serve our Father in His work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man in all three missions of the church. Perhaps we will find out that our mission will involve all three missions rather than just one or even two.
Now we get back to the 'Proclaim the Gospel" part of the church. When reading the mission papers we are starting to fill out, the brethren explain in those papers often a mission for the seniors is more for "Perfect the Saints" rather than proclaiming the gospel. The young missionaries are involved with proclaiming while the seniors are often more involved in perfecting the members, showing them how to serve, love, and strengthen other members.
Senior missionaries are not required to learn a language. They are not required to proselyte nor teach lessons. They are not involved in the proclaiming of the truths we all love. They are more often called to activate, strengthen, teach other members, etc.
When I was called as bishop many years ago, I had the desire to translate our ward. I could see, feel the beauties of Zion and unity. (In case you were wondering, I didn't quite achieve that goal, but it was a good one.) And now since we will be soon involved with perfecting the saints all over the world, isn't preparing a people for Zion part of perfecting the saints. What does perfecting the saints involved? Is it taking the testimonies that someone already has and helping them endure well and become perfected?
That can happen in our wards today as well as in the mission field all across the globe. I have always loved the concept of establishing Zion. I love the scriptures involving Zion and pursuing it. As the world turns more wicked and Satan's grasp gets stronger, there is a urgent need to know Zion and work toward it. I would assume that we will be doing so when the Lord calls us to a location, perfecting the saints as well as "calling" on a peculiar people to know, understand, and work towards becoming a Zion..
The whole concept that rings through my mind is using the talents and visions, and dreams and pre-earth preparation to serve our Father in His work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man in all three missions of the church. Perhaps we will find out that our mission will involve all three missions rather than just one or even two.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
DAY 127 -- FOCUS
As I read my Book of Mormon today, I read those infamous Isaiah chapters. I always read through them quickly feeling that there isn't much in there that will touch me. Dumb, I know. Really dumb. Well this morning, I read things I have read many times before. But this time I felt the "spirit" of the book. I pondered that Nephi put those chapters in there for our day, for me. He was touched by the Spirit of revelation to include those Isaiah chapters for our/my benefit.
I slowed down and started reading them more purposely. I don't pretend to say that I started understanding everything I read that was written in Isaiah. But I did feel a special feeling of Father telling me that He was pleased that I was reading and the concept that it was His book. I read things that told me that His purposes will roll forth, no unhallowed hand shall prevent His work from progressing, etc. (I have heard that somewhere, I am sure.) If I change my focus, perhaps things may change.
So on the way to work this morning, I realized that my focus had been on what I don't have, rather than what I do have. I have been worried that I am not appreciated, I am not being paid according to my abilities, I am not understood, etc. I have been frustrated that things are not going as I planned them. I have been focusing on the negative, those things that could and have made me lamenting on what could have been, or should be. But as I read my scriptures this morning, I realized that I should be focusing on things as they are and realize that there are great blessings as they are. Why get depressed on things as I think they should be? Why not be joyful and peaceful with things as they are?
Sure, I don't have many things that we would love to have, but I do have many things to be thankful for. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me, it is what Father thinks about me and how I act and react with what I do have. As I focus on Father and His will in my life and the lives of those that live with me, are in my family, and those I associate with, then I forget those things that could, and often do, make me sad and lonely, frustrated and angry.
So, I need to readjust my focus. There are so many miracles all around me. There are so many things to be grateful for. And if I start thinking about things that are important to Father, feelings, testimonies of others, how I can uplift others, how I can smile at others and shock them and change their day, etc, I will start to feel joy that Father is with me, touching my mind and those things that are not as I would have them. Focus on the good stuff and then there will be more good stuff to focus on.
I slowed down and started reading them more purposely. I don't pretend to say that I started understanding everything I read that was written in Isaiah. But I did feel a special feeling of Father telling me that He was pleased that I was reading and the concept that it was His book. I read things that told me that His purposes will roll forth, no unhallowed hand shall prevent His work from progressing, etc. (I have heard that somewhere, I am sure.) If I change my focus, perhaps things may change.
So on the way to work this morning, I realized that my focus had been on what I don't have, rather than what I do have. I have been worried that I am not appreciated, I am not being paid according to my abilities, I am not understood, etc. I have been frustrated that things are not going as I planned them. I have been focusing on the negative, those things that could and have made me lamenting on what could have been, or should be. But as I read my scriptures this morning, I realized that I should be focusing on things as they are and realize that there are great blessings as they are. Why get depressed on things as I think they should be? Why not be joyful and peaceful with things as they are?
Sure, I don't have many things that we would love to have, but I do have many things to be thankful for. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me, it is what Father thinks about me and how I act and react with what I do have. As I focus on Father and His will in my life and the lives of those that live with me, are in my family, and those I associate with, then I forget those things that could, and often do, make me sad and lonely, frustrated and angry.
So, I need to readjust my focus. There are so many miracles all around me. There are so many things to be grateful for. And if I start thinking about things that are important to Father, feelings, testimonies of others, how I can uplift others, how I can smile at others and shock them and change their day, etc, I will start to feel joy that Father is with me, touching my mind and those things that are not as I would have them. Focus on the good stuff and then there will be more good stuff to focus on.
Friday, February 3, 2012
DAY 128 -- Building a Ship, and Going and Doing
We now have our mission papers. You would not believe how many questions they ask us. Would you believe 55 pages. It is going to take us four months just to fill out the pages for the application. They ask how many stairs we can climb? How long can we stay up at night? Do we win every time we play scrabble? Did I enjoy being a speed bump that one time? Do I like the Y or the U? Will I be impartial if I am called to be a ball boy at Cougar Stadium? Can I love my neighbor when they are not doing according to my wishes? I mean, you would not believe it. Perhaps you would.
It is another step toward a mission call. It is exciting to know that we are starting along the path to leave this area and enter another where we will be serving the Lord twenty four/seven.
Bonnie continually reminds me that we are building a ship like Nephi. We have the blue prints, and are pursuing it through thick and thin. We have been told where to get the ore, and given an idea how to smelt it into whatever is needed in our ship. We are alone, but we have many kids, and loved ones praying for us to finish the preparation of our ship.
I have never build ship, at least this size. When I was young, I built a kayak and went to Mexico. Now I am building a cruise ship to go to India? Or was that Korea? We build a ship that will take us wherever across the globe. Father is helping us with many tender mercies when we encounter any obstacle. We are both working on this ship, both excited about where it will take us, but not really caring where our destination shall be. He knows, and that is all that matters.
Soon we have to start preparing this ship by visiting inspectors who will check out our workmanship. In other words, he will inspect our bodies to see if they will hold up in different parts of the world. We would like to have all these medical things taken care of by April so we can send in our papers of application.
I remember one of my sons having his mission changed because of a bowel obstruction. I am sure many missions are modified as to where because of health. I feel we are both healthy enough that we could go anywhere, even the Moon, or Mercury, or Mars, or that place that is no longer a planet, Pluto.
We will go where He wants us to go. That song takes on a much different meaning when we are so close to going. Called to Serve is also another one that is difficult to sing, for the tears get in the way. There are many hymns that touch the heart strings and lend joy and excitement as we sing some of them. We will go and do..
It is another step toward a mission call. It is exciting to know that we are starting along the path to leave this area and enter another where we will be serving the Lord twenty four/seven.
Bonnie continually reminds me that we are building a ship like Nephi. We have the blue prints, and are pursuing it through thick and thin. We have been told where to get the ore, and given an idea how to smelt it into whatever is needed in our ship. We are alone, but we have many kids, and loved ones praying for us to finish the preparation of our ship.
I have never build ship, at least this size. When I was young, I built a kayak and went to Mexico. Now I am building a cruise ship to go to India? Or was that Korea? We build a ship that will take us wherever across the globe. Father is helping us with many tender mercies when we encounter any obstacle. We are both working on this ship, both excited about where it will take us, but not really caring where our destination shall be. He knows, and that is all that matters.
Soon we have to start preparing this ship by visiting inspectors who will check out our workmanship. In other words, he will inspect our bodies to see if they will hold up in different parts of the world. We would like to have all these medical things taken care of by April so we can send in our papers of application.
I remember one of my sons having his mission changed because of a bowel obstruction. I am sure many missions are modified as to where because of health. I feel we are both healthy enough that we could go anywhere, even the Moon, or Mercury, or Mars, or that place that is no longer a planet, Pluto.
We will go where He wants us to go. That song takes on a much different meaning when we are so close to going. Called to Serve is also another one that is difficult to sing, for the tears get in the way. There are many hymns that touch the heart strings and lend joy and excitement as we sing some of them. We will go and do..
Thursday, February 2, 2012
DAY 129 -- That We Might Have JOY!
I was asked today how long it had been since I felt joy. Good question. Man is that we might have joy. Am I in a circumstance that prevents joy in my life? I am letting "things" effect me so I have not felt joy for a time?
I once did the research to write a book on joy entitled, "We are that we might have joy." I asked about twenty people what things brought joy to them. Most were older and most said that their children brought them joy in one way or another. I remember many said that seeing their children, and even grandchildren excel gave them great amounts of joy.
Some younger kids said that money brought them joy. One said a certain kind of food brought him joy. I would assume that little kids would say that a clean bottom, or a bottle of warm milk would being joy, or at least not anger or pain.
I remember many places in the Book of Mormon there are places where some were so overcome with joy that it exceeded their physical strength. I have not heard of any experience like that happening in this day and age, but it may and is not talked about.
I remember reading that a totally repentant soul could enjoy this amount of joy, but those with any sort of sin, or misdeeds that had not been repented of could not experience this "fullness of joy" and have his strength overcome with joy.
I once had an experience that approached that extreme joy. It was something that I had never experienced, nor have since. It was something that was beyond description, pure joy. It made me forget everything else, it was pure joy and happiness. It was total contentment, and made me want to shout, yell, smile, share with others, etc.
Joy is such a fleeting experience, a hard to find feeling, one that is hard to keep in one's mind and heart. Joy is another goal to pursue. I would imagine when one is surrounded in the mission field, serving loved ones, not permitting the things of the world to destroy or influence, one would feel something approaching joy. Service bring joy. Man and woman ARE that we might have joy. What a goal to seek!
I once did the research to write a book on joy entitled, "We are that we might have joy." I asked about twenty people what things brought joy to them. Most were older and most said that their children brought them joy in one way or another. I remember many said that seeing their children, and even grandchildren excel gave them great amounts of joy.
Some younger kids said that money brought them joy. One said a certain kind of food brought him joy. I would assume that little kids would say that a clean bottom, or a bottle of warm milk would being joy, or at least not anger or pain.
I remember many places in the Book of Mormon there are places where some were so overcome with joy that it exceeded their physical strength. I have not heard of any experience like that happening in this day and age, but it may and is not talked about.
I remember reading that a totally repentant soul could enjoy this amount of joy, but those with any sort of sin, or misdeeds that had not been repented of could not experience this "fullness of joy" and have his strength overcome with joy.
I once had an experience that approached that extreme joy. It was something that I had never experienced, nor have since. It was something that was beyond description, pure joy. It made me forget everything else, it was pure joy and happiness. It was total contentment, and made me want to shout, yell, smile, share with others, etc.
Joy is such a fleeting experience, a hard to find feeling, one that is hard to keep in one's mind and heart. Joy is another goal to pursue. I would imagine when one is surrounded in the mission field, serving loved ones, not permitting the things of the world to destroy or influence, one would feel something approaching joy. Service bring joy. Man and woman ARE that we might have joy. What a goal to seek!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
DAY 130 --- Small and Simple Things Once Again
Following up with yesterday, I still feel the miracles and tender mercies when the little things happen. I know most of us pray for the big and grandiose things. We want a new car, a raise, someone to change their attitude to make our life easier, our boss to get transferred, our car to be fixed for only a few dollars, batteries for the car would only cost a few dollars, our house would be renovated as they do on television, a rich uncle dies and leaves us a million dollars, etc.
Perhaps instead of thinking of and praying for the great, large things, I am going to try to offer gratitude and think of the many, many smaller things that surround me. For instance: Health when we do not have any health insurance, protection while we drive too fast, not getting too fat when we eat too much sugar, realizing we are blessed with the events of each day, having a wonderful family, have a testimony of the truth, feeling the Holy Ghost give us comfort when other trials attack us, etc. There are so many smaller blessings in our every day life, but I do not recognize them, we most often look for the big things.
One large item for us is realizing that we are going to be out of debt, ready to serve a mission in four months. What a large blessing, made up of about one hundred little miracles that often go un-noticed. Just to name a large one, yet could go un-noticed: My back which was destroyed a few years ago, is in such good shape, as long as I am smart, it will permit me to serve the Lord as a missionary.
My daughter said that one of her small and simple things was her husband calling up in the middle of the day and expressing his love for her. Sleeping in until 9 one day is another one. Not having snow when you have to drive a distance.
Though there are hundreds of smaller miracles or tender mercies we need to go on a mission, we sort of have to depend upon large miracles and blessings. Is anything too tough for the Lord? Is there anything that He cannot do, or will not do? He is not controlled by the enormous size of anything. But whatever happens must be according to His will.
One small and simple thing that I enjoy and often receive every day is the feeling of peace and comfort no matter circumstances. Or in other words, the witness that I have a Father who loves me, answers my prayers, and sends such tender mercies into my life. If I can dwell upon that special small thing, then it will overshadow other obstacles and afflictions. Oh the small and simple things...
Perhaps instead of thinking of and praying for the great, large things, I am going to try to offer gratitude and think of the many, many smaller things that surround me. For instance: Health when we do not have any health insurance, protection while we drive too fast, not getting too fat when we eat too much sugar, realizing we are blessed with the events of each day, having a wonderful family, have a testimony of the truth, feeling the Holy Ghost give us comfort when other trials attack us, etc. There are so many smaller blessings in our every day life, but I do not recognize them, we most often look for the big things.
One large item for us is realizing that we are going to be out of debt, ready to serve a mission in four months. What a large blessing, made up of about one hundred little miracles that often go un-noticed. Just to name a large one, yet could go un-noticed: My back which was destroyed a few years ago, is in such good shape, as long as I am smart, it will permit me to serve the Lord as a missionary.
My daughter said that one of her small and simple things was her husband calling up in the middle of the day and expressing his love for her. Sleeping in until 9 one day is another one. Not having snow when you have to drive a distance.
Though there are hundreds of smaller miracles or tender mercies we need to go on a mission, we sort of have to depend upon large miracles and blessings. Is anything too tough for the Lord? Is there anything that He cannot do, or will not do? He is not controlled by the enormous size of anything. But whatever happens must be according to His will.
One small and simple thing that I enjoy and often receive every day is the feeling of peace and comfort no matter circumstances. Or in other words, the witness that I have a Father who loves me, answers my prayers, and sends such tender mercies into my life. If I can dwell upon that special small thing, then it will overshadow other obstacles and afflictions. Oh the small and simple things...
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