By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. By one phone call, one conversation, one idea, one insignificant person, one little thought, by little things can great things happen. In Alma 26:12, yea, I know that I am nothing, as to my strength I am weak, but in the strength of my God, I can do all things.
Great things... To one, a great thing might be something of nothing. Father knows best. Things change. Do they change for the better or worse? What is my role in events?
I have been given pause this morning that Father is indeed in control of our lives. He is in control of events that surround them. He is in charge of small things that happen, often of which we know nothing about, yet those small things can change our life, our testimony, and even the Eternal results of our life, our decisions, our mortal existence.
When some of these small things happen, at times we treat them as things of naught. We disregard them and do not see, nor accept that they are gifts of Father, direction from Father, and great blessings. In Nephi is the scripture, "But behold all things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things." I have been influenced by that scripture all my life. All things happen according to His will.
Too often in this life we feel alone, afraid, frustrated with events, happenings, or things that do not happen according to OUR time frame, our wishes and then we get sad and depressed. Too often our views and plans are thwarted and fall apart, but that is exactly what Father wants to happen. You see, and I need to see that Father knows of them, is orchestrating them, and is the Master Designer, the Master ship builder, the Master molder of our lives. He is our Father and knows what is best for us, what is best timing, and what all those small and simple things that are happening without our knowledge that will bring blessings into our lives, but most importantly, will result in HIS will for us, His teaching for us, and ultimately resulting in our Eternal Life.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
DAY 132 --- Making Changes, Starting to Build a Ship
It is time to turn the corner in our lives. In four months we shall be ready to go and serve the Lord. Just four months! So, while I have been thinking about that, Bonnie brings up the suggestion that we compare it to Nephi and his brothers in building a ship. We don't know how to do it, but it is something that Father wants us to do. Don't know why, or how, but we shall pursue it.
I need to go to the mountains and ask where to find the ore, and get directions from Father. I was directed today to do some things that have needed to be done for many days/months. So as I go to work, I am going to do so.
Four months is not too much and we need to lengthen our stride in preparing, and doing every needful thing to be ready. On Monday Morning about 4:45, I work at Legacy, or I help them, walk around the place making sure that there are no problems. There are not too many there, so I feel it a waste of time. On Wednesday, Bonnie goes at 6:30 p.m. and does the same thing. This morning while I was there, I felt that it was time to quit "working" there. No it was not an income, we were doing it as service. But we have been doing it for over a year, about 18 months, and I felt it was time to quit. So after Bonnie goes this Wednesday we will quit serving at Legacy.
I felt it was a revelation from Father that we do that. Thus it is happening. I also felt that I had to go to work and make some changes there. My bass wants me to manage a small department, but it is driving me crazy because he does not give me the tools to do so adequately. I worry, fret, and struggle because I cannot do what is needed. So today, I am going to let him know that I don't not want to do that any longer. He needs to find someone to do it for he is worried about me leaving in four months anyway.
So at work I am going to do that also. It feels good and inspired from Father. Now I will wait after these two things are done and wait for further instructions from Father, or other direction how to find ore for our ship. I know I am nothing, but in His strength, I can do all things. I am starting to try to figure out how to do all things, starting with building a ship according to His direction.
I also feel there are other things that I need to do, and/or we need to do in building our ship, getting ready for a mission. I will keep you appraised of what happens at work, with building a ship, the directions and design of the ship, and any other thing that Father directs. It is time.
I need to go to the mountains and ask where to find the ore, and get directions from Father. I was directed today to do some things that have needed to be done for many days/months. So as I go to work, I am going to do so.
Four months is not too much and we need to lengthen our stride in preparing, and doing every needful thing to be ready. On Monday Morning about 4:45, I work at Legacy, or I help them, walk around the place making sure that there are no problems. There are not too many there, so I feel it a waste of time. On Wednesday, Bonnie goes at 6:30 p.m. and does the same thing. This morning while I was there, I felt that it was time to quit "working" there. No it was not an income, we were doing it as service. But we have been doing it for over a year, about 18 months, and I felt it was time to quit. So after Bonnie goes this Wednesday we will quit serving at Legacy.
I felt it was a revelation from Father that we do that. Thus it is happening. I also felt that I had to go to work and make some changes there. My bass wants me to manage a small department, but it is driving me crazy because he does not give me the tools to do so adequately. I worry, fret, and struggle because I cannot do what is needed. So today, I am going to let him know that I don't not want to do that any longer. He needs to find someone to do it for he is worried about me leaving in four months anyway.
So at work I am going to do that also. It feels good and inspired from Father. Now I will wait after these two things are done and wait for further instructions from Father, or other direction how to find ore for our ship. I know I am nothing, but in His strength, I can do all things. I am starting to try to figure out how to do all things, starting with building a ship according to His direction.
I also feel there are other things that I need to do, and/or we need to do in building our ship, getting ready for a mission. I will keep you appraised of what happens at work, with building a ship, the directions and design of the ship, and any other thing that Father directs. It is time.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
DAY 133 -- Jy Ggoerli Sdirnewo Sognen Hsodnt
U qiyksd gCE OISTED RSTLIRT NUY If you look at those words, you won't be able to read them. You see, I put my fingers on the wrong keys. After I looked at what I read, it looked like some language that I did not understand. Isn't it interesting that unless I put my fingers on the right keys, you won't be able to understand what I write.
That brings up another subject. Words. Even though I am writing in English, and my fingers seem to be on the right keys, and I can read what I have written, it does not mean that anyone who reads this will get the message, the idea that I am writing. The English language is often very misunderstood.
When one person says one thing and he emphasizes one word, it can certainly mean different things to different listeners. When someone else says the same thing, it can mean something entirely different.
Effective communication is often very difficult to enjoy. Ineffective communication can cause wars, misunderstandings, fights, anger, and disapproval. That is why effective communication is hard.
I have a son who won't let me communicate with him through emails. He says that there often is misunderstanding through the written word, thus he would much rather talk voice to ear. That can also have bad misunderstood ideas, but usually less often. Being in person rather than by phone can also minimize the misunderstanding.
Sadly with the advent of ipods, phones, i-things and all those other pads, misunderstanding is increasing. I would imagine that someone who reads these words can also get the wrong idea as they read them.
The one thing which doesn't have miscommunication is when communicating through and with the Holy Spirit. Father in Heaven gives intelligence and knowledge and when He does there is no misunderstanding Him. I am sure Joseph Smith did not mis-interpret anything he received from divine sources.
And as missionaries go out, and as they Open Their Mouths, if they have the Spirit, there will be no miscommunication. Thus all of a sudden I have found another goal we have to work on, having the Spirit with us, and keeping my fingers, figuratively, on the right keys. Right?
That brings up another subject. Words. Even though I am writing in English, and my fingers seem to be on the right keys, and I can read what I have written, it does not mean that anyone who reads this will get the message, the idea that I am writing. The English language is often very misunderstood.
When one person says one thing and he emphasizes one word, it can certainly mean different things to different listeners. When someone else says the same thing, it can mean something entirely different.
Effective communication is often very difficult to enjoy. Ineffective communication can cause wars, misunderstandings, fights, anger, and disapproval. That is why effective communication is hard.
I have a son who won't let me communicate with him through emails. He says that there often is misunderstanding through the written word, thus he would much rather talk voice to ear. That can also have bad misunderstood ideas, but usually less often. Being in person rather than by phone can also minimize the misunderstanding.
Sadly with the advent of ipods, phones, i-things and all those other pads, misunderstanding is increasing. I would imagine that someone who reads these words can also get the wrong idea as they read them.
The one thing which doesn't have miscommunication is when communicating through and with the Holy Spirit. Father in Heaven gives intelligence and knowledge and when He does there is no misunderstanding Him. I am sure Joseph Smith did not mis-interpret anything he received from divine sources.
And as missionaries go out, and as they Open Their Mouths, if they have the Spirit, there will be no miscommunication. Thus all of a sudden I have found another goal we have to work on, having the Spirit with us, and keeping my fingers, figuratively, on the right keys. Right?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Day 134 -- Fishers of Men in Icy Water
I went fishing this morning. My son suggested it and I was hesitant. It was COLD out there. But then I realized that the opportunity of being with my children, my sons would be limited since there are a numbered amount of day when I can do that, so we went. We went back to the same place we were about one month ago, in December. That is the trip I slipped and went in the water up to my waste. I was bleeding, cold, and my clothes were freezing for so was the temperature.
One of my sons wears about sixteen layers when he goes fishing even in the middle of the summer, so I politely asked if I could borrow a dry pair of socks, a dry sweater, and perhaps a dry pair of gloves. We were fishing so there was never any thought of going home, just "Live with it father," and so I did. There was water running out of my boots, so I took them off, wore a holey pair of socks from my abominable son with all the layers, and sat there and shivered. It was a good trip, yet cold. The one who let me borrow the clothes caught seven fish and he was extremely happy.
Well this morning while fishing I remembered how cold it was the last week of December and was so very careful not to fall into the water, since there was ice on the surface of the water. We had to break the ice to get our fishing lines in the water, and once again our group was rewarded for braving the cold and ice, we caught 8 among all of us. Fun, yet cold.
Right after we got there, I broke my line and had to repair it. It was six degrees so I was so slow getting back into the icy water, (Not me, my fishing line.) while everyone else was fishing, my fingers didn't seem to work very well.
I thought while fishing that we were fishing like the disciples of Christ. He challenged them to be "fishers of men." That is what we shall be doing in a few months, being fishers of men. Often the time spent on missions involves activating those less active for some reason. It is no less missionary work, it is still His work, and I am looking forward to whatever we can do in His work.
I do hope that there is not too much icy water where I may actually fall in, but I am willing to do that also. The tools used will not be hooks and line, bait, but will be love, service, compassion, and a plate or two of cookies. It will be a joy being a fisherman and woman.
One of my sons wears about sixteen layers when he goes fishing even in the middle of the summer, so I politely asked if I could borrow a dry pair of socks, a dry sweater, and perhaps a dry pair of gloves. We were fishing so there was never any thought of going home, just "Live with it father," and so I did. There was water running out of my boots, so I took them off, wore a holey pair of socks from my abominable son with all the layers, and sat there and shivered. It was a good trip, yet cold. The one who let me borrow the clothes caught seven fish and he was extremely happy.
Well this morning while fishing I remembered how cold it was the last week of December and was so very careful not to fall into the water, since there was ice on the surface of the water. We had to break the ice to get our fishing lines in the water, and once again our group was rewarded for braving the cold and ice, we caught 8 among all of us. Fun, yet cold.
Right after we got there, I broke my line and had to repair it. It was six degrees so I was so slow getting back into the icy water, (Not me, my fishing line.) while everyone else was fishing, my fingers didn't seem to work very well.
I thought while fishing that we were fishing like the disciples of Christ. He challenged them to be "fishers of men." That is what we shall be doing in a few months, being fishers of men. Often the time spent on missions involves activating those less active for some reason. It is no less missionary work, it is still His work, and I am looking forward to whatever we can do in His work.
I do hope that there is not too much icy water where I may actually fall in, but I am willing to do that also. The tools used will not be hooks and line, bait, but will be love, service, compassion, and a plate or two of cookies. It will be a joy being a fisherman and woman.
Friday, January 27, 2012
DAY 135 -- All The Difference
It is really getting interesting. I mean the first hundred or so days counting down to our mission, even two hundred days, I paused before writing this blog, thinking about goals, dreams, things I should do to prepare myself for the upcoming mission. Maybe it started in the meeting with the bishop. Maybe it started when we felt we needed to talk with each of our kids about our mission. Maybe it is getting more "real" when the bishop says that we will submit papers in March.
I don't know, but I find that my sweet companion and I are often, almost constantly talking about our mission, where we will go, are we going to be ready, will those doctors find ugly things when they check us out, and a myriad of subjects. Will they postpone our planned departure?
We find ourselves taking more and more time thinking of our kids and grand kids, knowing a few months we will be leaving for a time. We are planning on what to do with our few personal items. We are thinking what we will do and what will happen to our traditions when we leave. Will our kids carry them on, or will they fall apart, not the kids, they will celebrate, but the traditions.
With only 135 days left, I am re-thinking those goals I set early on in this road we are travelling. I can see that some things are much more important than others. I can see the importance of setting priorities based upon what is most important.
I sort of feel like I am getting ready to die. I guess in a way we will be leaving, prevented of being with the family which is one of our joys of life. We will be leaving birthdays, celebrations, baby blessings, and other things behind.
Tis a challenge, but then if I don't think along that line, rather I think of the joy of serving our Savior, being influential in the lives of others, when I think of helping others see the beauties of the gospel, having the opportunity of bearing witness of the truth, the things I hold so dear, those dreams must replace, or at least compensate for the loss of being with family.
Now I know what seniors feel when they consider leaving family, security, comfort, etc, and many choose they cannot go. I am excited and continue to see mercies from Father to allow us to go. He wants us to go, and that is all the difference. Mind is mixed these day...
I don't know, but I find that my sweet companion and I are often, almost constantly talking about our mission, where we will go, are we going to be ready, will those doctors find ugly things when they check us out, and a myriad of subjects. Will they postpone our planned departure?
We find ourselves taking more and more time thinking of our kids and grand kids, knowing a few months we will be leaving for a time. We are planning on what to do with our few personal items. We are thinking what we will do and what will happen to our traditions when we leave. Will our kids carry them on, or will they fall apart, not the kids, they will celebrate, but the traditions.
With only 135 days left, I am re-thinking those goals I set early on in this road we are travelling. I can see that some things are much more important than others. I can see the importance of setting priorities based upon what is most important.
I sort of feel like I am getting ready to die. I guess in a way we will be leaving, prevented of being with the family which is one of our joys of life. We will be leaving birthdays, celebrations, baby blessings, and other things behind.
Tis a challenge, but then if I don't think along that line, rather I think of the joy of serving our Savior, being influential in the lives of others, when I think of helping others see the beauties of the gospel, having the opportunity of bearing witness of the truth, the things I hold so dear, those dreams must replace, or at least compensate for the loss of being with family.
Now I know what seniors feel when they consider leaving family, security, comfort, etc, and many choose they cannot go. I am excited and continue to see mercies from Father to allow us to go. He wants us to go, and that is all the difference. Mind is mixed these day...
Thursday, January 26, 2012
DAY 136 -- I Am The Master of my Destiny
As I muddle through crazy things, fight gobliins, try to correct incorrect things of others, I get frustrated and burdened as the fluff of the day descends upon my head and tries to smother me. The joy from Tuesday night as we talked to our bishop making our mission more and more real seems to have flown away on the moon rays that disappear.
The bishop said as we sat with him that now we are close to doing the things that need to be done to serve, expect Satan's influence. He does not want us to go on a mission. The bishop said that we would be touching many people's lives, especially those missionaries who are lonely, far from home, in need of someone to teach them, love them and support them. We would be influencing many, many people.
It was exciting as we talked with him then the daily mundane events of every day surround us and it takes much mental exercise to rid ourselves of those things and reinsert those statements into our mind. He said that we would be battling the ugly part of life, the negative side of live, associates presenting to us reasons to be depressed trying to eliminate the joys of missions, the peace of serving Father, etc.
I am the master of my destiny. I am the controller of my thoughts and feelings. I am the creater of my visions and dreams. I have the power and ability to draw Father into my life daily, and even ever hour. If I do not make myself aware of the adversary, his evil influences, he can destroy the joys we are feeling, the dreams we have, and the positive nature of our thoughts.
I have seen it, experienced it, seen it in others which tries to get me to be a believer in the uglies of life. But I am stronger than that. I can, will choose my thoughts, my goals, and even new dreams to work toward.
It is such a joy to know that Father will destroy the evil one. It gives such peace to know that he will lose this battle and will be cast out. It is happiness to know that we are on His side and will be victorious. We are all enlisted til the conflict is over. Happy are we. Rejoice the Lord is King. SO many songs can enter my mind with the positive outlook of the life we live.
The bishop said as we sat with him that now we are close to doing the things that need to be done to serve, expect Satan's influence. He does not want us to go on a mission. The bishop said that we would be touching many people's lives, especially those missionaries who are lonely, far from home, in need of someone to teach them, love them and support them. We would be influencing many, many people.
It was exciting as we talked with him then the daily mundane events of every day surround us and it takes much mental exercise to rid ourselves of those things and reinsert those statements into our mind. He said that we would be battling the ugly part of life, the negative side of live, associates presenting to us reasons to be depressed trying to eliminate the joys of missions, the peace of serving Father, etc.
I am the master of my destiny. I am the controller of my thoughts and feelings. I am the creater of my visions and dreams. I have the power and ability to draw Father into my life daily, and even ever hour. If I do not make myself aware of the adversary, his evil influences, he can destroy the joys we are feeling, the dreams we have, and the positive nature of our thoughts.
I have seen it, experienced it, seen it in others which tries to get me to be a believer in the uglies of life. But I am stronger than that. I can, will choose my thoughts, my goals, and even new dreams to work toward.
It is such a joy to know that Father will destroy the evil one. It gives such peace to know that he will lose this battle and will be cast out. It is happiness to know that we are on His side and will be victorious. We are all enlisted til the conflict is over. Happy are we. Rejoice the Lord is King. SO many songs can enter my mind with the positive outlook of the life we live.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
DAY 137 -- Getting Closer and Closer
Well, we sat with our bishop for a time last night. He was excited for us to be the first senior couple he will call to the mission field. We talked about finances, where we want to go, and how long we would be gone. He suggested that we check out what missions are available and decide which one we wanted to serve.
We agreed to start praying and seeking revelation to identify the place that Father wants us. He also said that we should gather our whole family together and have a short meeting, testimonies and have him preside. Sounds like a great idea, but it might be noisy with so many grand kids.
He said that three doctors will verify if we are fit enough to serve a mission. We would need a dentist, a physician, and psychologist or psychiatrist. Both of those -psych-doctors will determine if we are sane?
He suggested that we might be out in the field as early as June and late as July. Course time will tell what happens these last few months as the time draws closer. I am beginning to feel excited about serving, going, and being with Bonnie. Just a few months left.
The bishop brought up the many Conference talks that have been given to encourage senior missionaries to serve. They can do more than just celebrate as restaurants, and other places honor us by giving us a reduced fare or cost for whatever.
Well, needless to say, we are getting closer and closer. We are needed out there, touching lives, strengthening, and being strengthened. I love my Father in Heaven for the blessings we have had in the last few years to bring us to this point. The least we can do is serve Him trying to partially repay Him for the blessings we have. It is coming.
We agreed to start praying and seeking revelation to identify the place that Father wants us. He also said that we should gather our whole family together and have a short meeting, testimonies and have him preside. Sounds like a great idea, but it might be noisy with so many grand kids.
He said that three doctors will verify if we are fit enough to serve a mission. We would need a dentist, a physician, and psychologist or psychiatrist. Both of those -psych-doctors will determine if we are sane?
He suggested that we might be out in the field as early as June and late as July. Course time will tell what happens these last few months as the time draws closer. I am beginning to feel excited about serving, going, and being with Bonnie. Just a few months left.
The bishop brought up the many Conference talks that have been given to encourage senior missionaries to serve. They can do more than just celebrate as restaurants, and other places honor us by giving us a reduced fare or cost for whatever.
Well, needless to say, we are getting closer and closer. We are needed out there, touching lives, strengthening, and being strengthened. I love my Father in Heaven for the blessings we have had in the last few years to bring us to this point. The least we can do is serve Him trying to partially repay Him for the blessings we have. It is coming.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
DAY 138 -- A Grateful Heart
It is interesting to me that the Holy Ghost does not sleep. And He seems to visit me during the middle of the night. The things that I do not listen to, the things that He needs to tell me I don't seem to listen to during the day, thus He comes and talks to me during the middle of the night.
Perhaps it is because my mind is too busy listening to other voices. Perhaps it is because I am not close enough to the Spirit. Who knows why, but He seems to be passing by my bed during the middle of the night to share with me insights, direction, wisdom and comfort.
And when that happens, I cannot get back to sleep, and the next day I seem so drowsy. There must be a lesson there. Besides the inspiration He gives me at 2 in the morning, there must be something I need to learn by His time table. I am going to have to work on that one.
As I start this day, I feel burdened, pressured, not my jovial, happy, AWAKE self. I would think part of it was because of the middle of the night visit, but part of it is because I am weighing too heavily other wimpy things that don't mean a thing in the Eternal view of things. It is my problem, I must get rid of it today. It is all in my ability to do so, I just must concentrate on my attitude, my testimony, and especially my faith.
Tonight Bonnie and I are visiting with our bishop to start papers, and other things to go on our mission. We have many questions. I am excited. In a bit more than four months we will have accomplished one of our goals, that of being out of debt ready to accept a call.
Based upon that fact, I feel I should dwell upon the many tender mercies that Father has blessed us with. A grateful heart is a joyful heart. A joyful heart is a happy heart. A happy heart is a positive heart, and a positive heart has to feel grateful for blessings. So I must get involved in the cycle of "being" so I can be who I feel I am. It is all in my ability, I just must want to do it.
We will see what the bishop says tonight.
Perhaps it is because my mind is too busy listening to other voices. Perhaps it is because I am not close enough to the Spirit. Who knows why, but He seems to be passing by my bed during the middle of the night to share with me insights, direction, wisdom and comfort.
And when that happens, I cannot get back to sleep, and the next day I seem so drowsy. There must be a lesson there. Besides the inspiration He gives me at 2 in the morning, there must be something I need to learn by His time table. I am going to have to work on that one.
As I start this day, I feel burdened, pressured, not my jovial, happy, AWAKE self. I would think part of it was because of the middle of the night visit, but part of it is because I am weighing too heavily other wimpy things that don't mean a thing in the Eternal view of things. It is my problem, I must get rid of it today. It is all in my ability to do so, I just must concentrate on my attitude, my testimony, and especially my faith.
Tonight Bonnie and I are visiting with our bishop to start papers, and other things to go on our mission. We have many questions. I am excited. In a bit more than four months we will have accomplished one of our goals, that of being out of debt ready to accept a call.
Based upon that fact, I feel I should dwell upon the many tender mercies that Father has blessed us with. A grateful heart is a joyful heart. A joyful heart is a happy heart. A happy heart is a positive heart, and a positive heart has to feel grateful for blessings. So I must get involved in the cycle of "being" so I can be who I feel I am. It is all in my ability, I just must want to do it.
We will see what the bishop says tonight.
Monday, January 23, 2012
DAY 139 -- Faith in His Knowedge of Things that Are
It is so easy to get frustrated with "things." I get it in my mind how things will go, how they should go, and almost immediately, things fall apart. The plans I made are laughable. As carefully laid plans fall apart, especially after I spent so long planning on them, I question, "why plan", why try to put into play the plans I made.
The plans for our upcoming mission are also carefully laid out. So we do what we need to do to realize those plans. However, when they too, fall apart, I question what the value of plans are.
Elder Holland says we should dream dreams and see visions and then work toward them. That involves making plans to realize dreams and visions. But as those plans fall apart, the dreams and visions are still alive, but there is much turmoil about realizing those dreams. Carefully laid plans and actions aren't done, and thus we feel that it is all a waste.
Then I am reminded of that principle we need to live by, Faith.
For instance: Bonnie and I plan on going to the temple on Tuesday Night. We arrange our un-cluttered life and plan on going about 6. Then as we work toward that, everything gets in the way. We run out of gas. We have a daughter ask if we can come and tend a grand child. We can't find our blue and pink cards. Our temple cloths are not available, and so forth.
Another: I plan on losing weight before we go on a mission. Usually that requires exercise, active struggle and perspiration. Then things happen that won't let me exercise and I lose faith in that goal. I plead and beg Father so I can realize that goal and/or dream, but perhaps that thorn is one similar to the one that Paul of the New Testament had to struggle with.
I guess that is when Faith comes in. Do I really believe that Father is aware of who and what, and where I am? Do I really believe that He is aware of and involved with every aspect of my life? Do I really know that He loves me, knows of the desires of my heart? Can I live by faith, knowing that He loves me, knows of these disappointments, and does not judge me harshly?
If I lived with faith in my Father, I would not stress out over small and insignificant things, even goals and dreams that are not realized as I wish. Even in any event in my life, would I have faith in His ever nurturing care and understanding, even at the face of failure, misunderstanding, and such.
I just need to strengthen my faith and exercise it in the things that I know to be true, that Father is ever present in my life, knowing all and loving me in spite of failures. Even when plans blow up in my face.
The plans for our upcoming mission are also carefully laid out. So we do what we need to do to realize those plans. However, when they too, fall apart, I question what the value of plans are.
Elder Holland says we should dream dreams and see visions and then work toward them. That involves making plans to realize dreams and visions. But as those plans fall apart, the dreams and visions are still alive, but there is much turmoil about realizing those dreams. Carefully laid plans and actions aren't done, and thus we feel that it is all a waste.
Then I am reminded of that principle we need to live by, Faith.
For instance: Bonnie and I plan on going to the temple on Tuesday Night. We arrange our un-cluttered life and plan on going about 6. Then as we work toward that, everything gets in the way. We run out of gas. We have a daughter ask if we can come and tend a grand child. We can't find our blue and pink cards. Our temple cloths are not available, and so forth.
Another: I plan on losing weight before we go on a mission. Usually that requires exercise, active struggle and perspiration. Then things happen that won't let me exercise and I lose faith in that goal. I plead and beg Father so I can realize that goal and/or dream, but perhaps that thorn is one similar to the one that Paul of the New Testament had to struggle with.
I guess that is when Faith comes in. Do I really believe that Father is aware of who and what, and where I am? Do I really believe that He is aware of and involved with every aspect of my life? Do I really know that He loves me, knows of the desires of my heart? Can I live by faith, knowing that He loves me, knows of these disappointments, and does not judge me harshly?
If I lived with faith in my Father, I would not stress out over small and insignificant things, even goals and dreams that are not realized as I wish. Even in any event in my life, would I have faith in His ever nurturing care and understanding, even at the face of failure, misunderstanding, and such.
I just need to strengthen my faith and exercise it in the things that I know to be true, that Father is ever present in my life, knowing all and loving me in spite of failures. Even when plans blow up in my face.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
DAY 140 -- What are the Reaons of This?
Well, I talked to my boss on Friday and updated him about our progress on our way to leaving. In just four and one half months, we will be realizing our goal. I am assuming that nothing negative is going to happen, thus we will be ready to go. We have a appointment with our bishop this coming Tuesday when we will be talking about how things are going to work out and how we will be going. I have been told that there are 55 pages to fill out. We should have started last June....
My boss listened and now I am wondering what he was thinking. I said some very pointed things about his manner of managing the business. I compared his way with my way, and there are many differences. I hope he was not hurt, but I did tell him my thoughts and my insights. I wonder what will happen tomorrow when I go to work. He asked me if my way or his way was better. All I said was that I would not judge his way, and there were benefits in both manners.
We have talked to each of our children this past week and invited them to participate in the blessings of supporting a missionary. It is very interesting how differently each one of them responded. Each of the six children are all different. We brought them up the same way, but each one is unique. Of course each one is married to a wife or husband that is also different. But it is very interesting to us the difference and the similarities.
Considering all the goals and dreams I have shared in this blog, there are many things that have not been accomplished yet. There are many miracles and tender mercies that could happen in the next few months. And of course, perhaps none of them will happen.
In church this past month, the subject of the month has been enduring trials and learning from them. If we do not realize many of those dreams, we will have learned lessons from striving for them. We have had many witnesses that we will go, but we may not be as prepared as we originally hoped we would be. Like my pregnant body, not as slim as I originally planned.
I often wonder why I write this blog. It is for me. Is it for those who read it. Or is it just because I said I would long ago. Or will this blog be for posterity. Not prosperity, by my descendants. Often I pause with a blank page in front of me and wonder why I do it. Often I sit and things flood into my mind to write. Many are referring to missions and many are just thoughts that are going through my mind.
Either way, I will continue for whatever reason. Thoughts keep going through my mind, my fingers keep pushing these keys on the keyboard, and the days until M day are keep getting smaller. Lessons learned.
My boss listened and now I am wondering what he was thinking. I said some very pointed things about his manner of managing the business. I compared his way with my way, and there are many differences. I hope he was not hurt, but I did tell him my thoughts and my insights. I wonder what will happen tomorrow when I go to work. He asked me if my way or his way was better. All I said was that I would not judge his way, and there were benefits in both manners.
We have talked to each of our children this past week and invited them to participate in the blessings of supporting a missionary. It is very interesting how differently each one of them responded. Each of the six children are all different. We brought them up the same way, but each one is unique. Of course each one is married to a wife or husband that is also different. But it is very interesting to us the difference and the similarities.
Considering all the goals and dreams I have shared in this blog, there are many things that have not been accomplished yet. There are many miracles and tender mercies that could happen in the next few months. And of course, perhaps none of them will happen.
In church this past month, the subject of the month has been enduring trials and learning from them. If we do not realize many of those dreams, we will have learned lessons from striving for them. We have had many witnesses that we will go, but we may not be as prepared as we originally hoped we would be. Like my pregnant body, not as slim as I originally planned.
I often wonder why I write this blog. It is for me. Is it for those who read it. Or is it just because I said I would long ago. Or will this blog be for posterity. Not prosperity, by my descendants. Often I pause with a blank page in front of me and wonder why I do it. Often I sit and things flood into my mind to write. Many are referring to missions and many are just thoughts that are going through my mind.
Either way, I will continue for whatever reason. Thoughts keep going through my mind, my fingers keep pushing these keys on the keyboard, and the days until M day are keep getting smaller. Lessons learned.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
DAY 141 -- Progress toward the Goal
I started this blog more than 222 days ago. I felt that writing about our mission, the road to realizing this dream would be good for me. It would be a daily reminder of this goal and how we are preparing for it. It would be a call to view all miracles that happen along our way toward our mission.
It would also be a recorded history of obstacles, challenges, blessings, revelation, etc toward realizing this dream that has been mine for many, many years since that day in Houston Texas as I returned from Mexico. I remember kneeling down on the ground and kissing the ground, drank some water out of a fountain giving thanks that I didn't have to boil it first, and was shocked at what a blond girl looked like. (In Mexico there were only block headed people.) I remember looking back and promising that I would one day return to the mission field and bring my Eternal Companion with me. Now it is only 140 days away.
I also grew to love the statement by Elder Holland about dreaming dreams and seeing visions. That concept has always been a part of me and when I heard it from a man I totally respect and honor, I adopted it as my own creed.
Today as I sit and review the past events in my life, seeing His hand there, directing, supporting, telling me to keep having patience, I am so grateful for His direction, His comfort to keep me dreaming about this upcoming mission. As I stop looking backward and look forward toward the coming days, weeks and months, I realize there are so many things to do to be ready. I have been told there are about 54 pages of questions that have to be filled out on the senior missionary application, let alone the countless visits to doctors, head shrinks, bunion doctors, witch doctors, etc. They have to verify that we are "sound" and can perform as senior missionaries have to perform.
Our mission is becoming a constant thought that is never far away of my mind. People ask us where we want to go, and we reply, "Wherever the Lord calls us." It is unimportant to me where as long as we get to serve Him.
There are still many unknowns that are floating around that have to be secured, but Father is capable and will direct how to, and when to pursue them. It is such a comfort knowing that He is aware of us, our dreams and visions, and is directing things to happen according to His will. I KNOW that many things are happening right now, even today, (though I now not what they are) that will help pave the way toward our mission. I leave it all in His hands. I am excited.
It would also be a recorded history of obstacles, challenges, blessings, revelation, etc toward realizing this dream that has been mine for many, many years since that day in Houston Texas as I returned from Mexico. I remember kneeling down on the ground and kissing the ground, drank some water out of a fountain giving thanks that I didn't have to boil it first, and was shocked at what a blond girl looked like. (In Mexico there were only block headed people.) I remember looking back and promising that I would one day return to the mission field and bring my Eternal Companion with me. Now it is only 140 days away.
I also grew to love the statement by Elder Holland about dreaming dreams and seeing visions. That concept has always been a part of me and when I heard it from a man I totally respect and honor, I adopted it as my own creed.
Today as I sit and review the past events in my life, seeing His hand there, directing, supporting, telling me to keep having patience, I am so grateful for His direction, His comfort to keep me dreaming about this upcoming mission. As I stop looking backward and look forward toward the coming days, weeks and months, I realize there are so many things to do to be ready. I have been told there are about 54 pages of questions that have to be filled out on the senior missionary application, let alone the countless visits to doctors, head shrinks, bunion doctors, witch doctors, etc. They have to verify that we are "sound" and can perform as senior missionaries have to perform.
Our mission is becoming a constant thought that is never far away of my mind. People ask us where we want to go, and we reply, "Wherever the Lord calls us." It is unimportant to me where as long as we get to serve Him.
There are still many unknowns that are floating around that have to be secured, but Father is capable and will direct how to, and when to pursue them. It is such a comfort knowing that He is aware of us, our dreams and visions, and is directing things to happen according to His will. I KNOW that many things are happening right now, even today, (though I now not what they are) that will help pave the way toward our mission. I leave it all in His hands. I am excited.
Friday, January 20, 2012
DAY 142 -- Smile Through the Day
Have you ever had a day when everything you look, hear, or experience makes you smile? Of course the day is just starting, but this morning on the way to work, I had that experience. As I said, the day is just starting out, but everything that has appeared in front of me, everything has enlightened my day.
On the drive into work, I saw the moon in it's final stages, like a thin finger nail. It just made me smile. Why was that? Crazy, huh. Then I listened to some music from the Tab Choir, and I heard "Amazing grace". Then I smiled because when it gets to the drum part, Bonnie always acts the drummer, and as I drive along, I watch her, "listen" to her drumming the drum part as she acts it out, so on my way to work as it was playing, I "saw" Bonnie playing the drums. She is quite a drummer with her sewing needles striking those bass drums.
As I opened the door at work, no one was here. Why would that make me smile? I don't know but it did. I smiled all the way to my desk. I looked at the small mess and smiled again.
Yesterday we were in Deseret Book purchasing a gift for my grand daughter, and they were giving out cinnamon rolls. I was the last one and I got one. I brought it to work today, so as I eat it with raisins, I am really smiling, for I love cinnamon rolls with raisins. So I smile through my breakfast this morning. Then I smile remembering my daughter (not to mention names, for she would feel embarrassed, but it starts with an M.) making me my favorite rolls, and she did put in the raisins, but she forget the cinnamon. Have you ever eaten cinnamon rolls without cinnamon? Another reason to smile.
Part of the reason for smiling is I feel my Father's all-caring love today. No matter the circumstances, the challenges, the trials, or the lessons being learned, I know He is aware of us, our push toward a mission, and the mountains we have to climb to get there. They don't bother me for He is near, and helping me smile today. I need to work on getting that every day, all day long, for nothing else really matters, honest. Now, we will see if I can keep that smile ringing through my mind all day long.
On the drive into work, I saw the moon in it's final stages, like a thin finger nail. It just made me smile. Why was that? Crazy, huh. Then I listened to some music from the Tab Choir, and I heard "Amazing grace". Then I smiled because when it gets to the drum part, Bonnie always acts the drummer, and as I drive along, I watch her, "listen" to her drumming the drum part as she acts it out, so on my way to work as it was playing, I "saw" Bonnie playing the drums. She is quite a drummer with her sewing needles striking those bass drums.
As I opened the door at work, no one was here. Why would that make me smile? I don't know but it did. I smiled all the way to my desk. I looked at the small mess and smiled again.
Yesterday we were in Deseret Book purchasing a gift for my grand daughter, and they were giving out cinnamon rolls. I was the last one and I got one. I brought it to work today, so as I eat it with raisins, I am really smiling, for I love cinnamon rolls with raisins. So I smile through my breakfast this morning. Then I smile remembering my daughter (not to mention names, for she would feel embarrassed, but it starts with an M.) making me my favorite rolls, and she did put in the raisins, but she forget the cinnamon. Have you ever eaten cinnamon rolls without cinnamon? Another reason to smile.
Part of the reason for smiling is I feel my Father's all-caring love today. No matter the circumstances, the challenges, the trials, or the lessons being learned, I know He is aware of us, our push toward a mission, and the mountains we have to climb to get there. They don't bother me for He is near, and helping me smile today. I need to work on getting that every day, all day long, for nothing else really matters, honest. Now, we will see if I can keep that smile ringing through my mind all day long.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
DAY 143 -- PPI In Reverse
It is time I put into practice a concept that I love. It is the "return and report" principle. We all know the value of the opportunity of returning to our supervisor or our mentor, or those with stewardship over us, and reporting. We get that opportunity at tithing settlement time. We get that opportunity if we are lucky enough to have a Personal Priesthood Interview. We get that when we meet with our bishop often times. We get that when we meet with our spouse in a quiet, private time. It is a privilege to have the opportunity to report our stewardship. Often we should do so with our Father in Heaven and report about all our duties, the hats we wear, and anything else we feel He would want to know about.
I have always been one to do things either backward, or in a different light. So I believe it is time to report my stewardship to my boss at work. But do it differently. I believe it is time for me to evaluate him as my boss. Would that be classified as a PPI? Or would that be an IPP? Either way, I believe it is time he found out my feelings and what I think about the way things are going.
Now let me warn you there is a caution here. It may get me into trouble. I mean if I lay it all out in front of him, let him know my thoughts, my inner thoughts about working for, and with him, he may take offense. I may end up in trouble. But on the other hand, I may not.
When thoughts weigh heavily on one's mind, and even tend to influence work, feelings, sleeping patterns, and other things, perhaps it is time to return and report backwards. Remember, there are concerns here. Some might totally become enraged to know of someone else "judging " them and their ways.
But that is what I feel I must do. Nothing may become of it, but who knows. Since I received inspiration today, I must dwell upon it, ponder it and then if it feels right, I shall PPI in reverse my boss.
It feels like walking out on a thin piece of ice, wondering if the ice will break with me on it, taking me to the bottom of the sea with no life preserver. Yes there is risk, but if Father confirms this action, then where I step on the ice will be strengthened. And no matter the results, if it is His will, then I must do it and sink or swim with the results.
I have always been one to do things either backward, or in a different light. So I believe it is time to report my stewardship to my boss at work. But do it differently. I believe it is time for me to evaluate him as my boss. Would that be classified as a PPI? Or would that be an IPP? Either way, I believe it is time he found out my feelings and what I think about the way things are going.
Now let me warn you there is a caution here. It may get me into trouble. I mean if I lay it all out in front of him, let him know my thoughts, my inner thoughts about working for, and with him, he may take offense. I may end up in trouble. But on the other hand, I may not.
When thoughts weigh heavily on one's mind, and even tend to influence work, feelings, sleeping patterns, and other things, perhaps it is time to return and report backwards. Remember, there are concerns here. Some might totally become enraged to know of someone else "judging " them and their ways.
But that is what I feel I must do. Nothing may become of it, but who knows. Since I received inspiration today, I must dwell upon it, ponder it and then if it feels right, I shall PPI in reverse my boss.
It feels like walking out on a thin piece of ice, wondering if the ice will break with me on it, taking me to the bottom of the sea with no life preserver. Yes there is risk, but if Father confirms this action, then where I step on the ice will be strengthened. And no matter the results, if it is His will, then I must do it and sink or swim with the results.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
DAY 144 -- Fine Twined Linen - And Demolition
In reading the Book of Mormon, that phrase about fine twined linen Should be explained to me by some seamstress. Whether right or not, I figure it means those who are "excited" by the clothes they wear. I guess people want to show to others the expensive-ness of their clothes, sort of involving pride. ??
I drive to work about 23 and 1/2 miles each day, one way. I am sort of in a Monte Carlo every day to and from work. It is sure interesting to observe the driving habits of many other drivers. Often I feel that the vehicles people drive could be referred to as Fine Twined Linen. I mean there is quality, money, and prestige in what they drive. Some times I pass, or I am passed by a driver who just smells of money, the way they are dressed, and especially the Lexus they drive, or whatever other kind of expensive car they drive.
Now I need to repent, for I am judging those and what they drive. I mean some of them could have been GIVEN that car and they are just driving it to the sales lot to sell so they can give the money to the poor. Right? (Tell me where to stand in line.)
Drivers come in all shapes and sizes. Cars come in all shapes and sizes. Once I saw two drivers fighting with their cars. One cut the other one off, and then the one tried to ram the other one, going sixty on the freeway, then the other one tried to cut off the first one, and so on. It was frightening. Nothing happened, but it was just awful to watch, for I was about three cars behind. Lucky there was no accident.
Then yesterday there was this car causing traffic problems because he was going the speed limit, about 55. As I slowed to pass him, I saw his car and it made me smile. It looked like it had been through a demolition derby where each car tries to ram the other cars in dead-ness, or make them so they could not run any longer. It looked like there wasn't an undamaged side, front nor back that was not dented, rusted, or hurt. I was impressed it was going, and even close to the speed limit.
I often wonder if people looking at me, my dents, my bruises, my slowness, approaching the common speed limit whether they smile as they pass me doing whatever I am doing going slower than they are. In other words, as I passed that car, I started to laugh, for I FELT like that old car, just barely getting along, causing others to wonder how I was still going. Yes, in a way I have been in a demolition derby but I am still going and will be for quite some time. There are all kinds of people/cars out still movnig along the freeways of life. I am one of them.
I drive to work about 23 and 1/2 miles each day, one way. I am sort of in a Monte Carlo every day to and from work. It is sure interesting to observe the driving habits of many other drivers. Often I feel that the vehicles people drive could be referred to as Fine Twined Linen. I mean there is quality, money, and prestige in what they drive. Some times I pass, or I am passed by a driver who just smells of money, the way they are dressed, and especially the Lexus they drive, or whatever other kind of expensive car they drive.
Now I need to repent, for I am judging those and what they drive. I mean some of them could have been GIVEN that car and they are just driving it to the sales lot to sell so they can give the money to the poor. Right? (Tell me where to stand in line.)
Drivers come in all shapes and sizes. Cars come in all shapes and sizes. Once I saw two drivers fighting with their cars. One cut the other one off, and then the one tried to ram the other one, going sixty on the freeway, then the other one tried to cut off the first one, and so on. It was frightening. Nothing happened, but it was just awful to watch, for I was about three cars behind. Lucky there was no accident.
Then yesterday there was this car causing traffic problems because he was going the speed limit, about 55. As I slowed to pass him, I saw his car and it made me smile. It looked like it had been through a demolition derby where each car tries to ram the other cars in dead-ness, or make them so they could not run any longer. It looked like there wasn't an undamaged side, front nor back that was not dented, rusted, or hurt. I was impressed it was going, and even close to the speed limit.
I often wonder if people looking at me, my dents, my bruises, my slowness, approaching the common speed limit whether they smile as they pass me doing whatever I am doing going slower than they are. In other words, as I passed that car, I started to laugh, for I FELT like that old car, just barely getting along, causing others to wonder how I was still going. Yes, in a way I have been in a demolition derby but I am still going and will be for quite some time. There are all kinds of people/cars out still movnig along the freeways of life. I am one of them.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
DAY 145 --- There are Millions, even Billions
I often ponder about others. There are so many in this world who are without the gospel. There are millions who seek for the truth, but know now where to find it. There are millions who don't begin to understand the beauties of the atonement and the blessings that it brings into our lives each day.
There are tens of millions who don't understand the concept of "...all these things bring thee experience and shall be for your good." There are even billions who don't understand they have a loving Father in Heaven who deeply cares about them and is very interested in the desires of their hearts. I consider that there are countless people who have made the covenant of baptism and received the Holy Ghost but have dropped off into the mist of darkness and are lost, wandering and questioning.
I often consider how my life would be totally different if I didn't know the truths I hold so dear. Where would I be? What would I be doing? Would I have the family I have and the wife I have? Would I be living or not?
As I pause to consider the wonderful blessings I have, I consider the fruit that Lehi tasted in the wilderness and the desire he had to have his family partake of it. I consider of that wonderful fruit that I have tasted and how gloriously wonderful it is and how it tends to make me happy, and even full of joy.
When these moments come to me I can't help but pause and count the many blessings I have. Then I get this inner urge to strive to reclaim those who once were here but lost, those who are looking for the truth and comfort, those who seek joy and happiness, but are on the wrong path.
I think about these things and want to help Father in these areas helping my brothers and sisters to be as joyful, blessed and knowledgeable as I am about the truth, about where to find it, and about how to be worthy of His love.
The day is coming when we shall depart out into the dark and weary world in search of a few of these people to enlighten their minds and take them by the hand and help them enjoy the beauties of the gospel. What a joy it will be to go and do, as He commands within this mortal existence. There are millions of my brothers and sisters who are waiting for many to touch their lives, and we shall be two individuals who are actively engaged in this glorious work.
There are tens of millions who don't understand the concept of "...all these things bring thee experience and shall be for your good." There are even billions who don't understand they have a loving Father in Heaven who deeply cares about them and is very interested in the desires of their hearts. I consider that there are countless people who have made the covenant of baptism and received the Holy Ghost but have dropped off into the mist of darkness and are lost, wandering and questioning.
I often consider how my life would be totally different if I didn't know the truths I hold so dear. Where would I be? What would I be doing? Would I have the family I have and the wife I have? Would I be living or not?
As I pause to consider the wonderful blessings I have, I consider the fruit that Lehi tasted in the wilderness and the desire he had to have his family partake of it. I consider of that wonderful fruit that I have tasted and how gloriously wonderful it is and how it tends to make me happy, and even full of joy.
When these moments come to me I can't help but pause and count the many blessings I have. Then I get this inner urge to strive to reclaim those who once were here but lost, those who are looking for the truth and comfort, those who seek joy and happiness, but are on the wrong path.
I think about these things and want to help Father in these areas helping my brothers and sisters to be as joyful, blessed and knowledgeable as I am about the truth, about where to find it, and about how to be worthy of His love.
The day is coming when we shall depart out into the dark and weary world in search of a few of these people to enlighten their minds and take them by the hand and help them enjoy the beauties of the gospel. What a joy it will be to go and do, as He commands within this mortal existence. There are millions of my brothers and sisters who are waiting for many to touch their lives, and we shall be two individuals who are actively engaged in this glorious work.
Monday, January 16, 2012
DAY 146 -- Creating Phrases That Uplift Rather Than Condemn
I have preached often that there is nothing too difficult for the Lord. It is contained in the scriptures many places. It is something that we need to keep in mind whenever we are pursuing a mission, as we are.
Thus I wonder as I sit and ponder about the things that need to be done to get us ready, is there anything that we should not pray for? Could we pray for things that will hurt us, thwart our progress toward the goals that FATHER has for us?
With our limited sight of what is on the "plans" for each of us, I would imagine that we may be praying for something that is not in His best interest for our mortal education. I know this is just words, but let me explain.
As I am in the financial frame of thought these days, checking out the cost of missions, reviewing the changes the Church has made lately to facilitate that more seniors go on missions, and since we are approaching our mission, it is time to consider finances. Thus along the path mentioned above, can I ask the Father to direct me what to do, how to do it and what to pursue so we can have "sufficient for our needs" as we serve. One son-in-law said that we may be blessed without that $50,000 (tongue in cheek, whatever that means and where that saying came from...) to support us wherever we go. He said it would be great for our kids and grand kids to have the privilege of supporting grand parents on a mission and enjoy the blessings of so doing.
So if that is what Father has in store for us, am I wrong to ask for "things" to happen to help us be more financially prepared? Can what we pray for curse us?
In Helaman 10, Nephi receives a blessing telling him that whatever he prays for will be granted because he would not ask for anything contrary to Father's will. That is a goal of mine, but I am not there yet. So again I ask, if I pray for something that is not in accordance to Father's will, am I in the wrong. There are often times that just by phrasing a request to Father will put the request in line with whatever His will might be.
For instance, if we being unemployed ask it this way, "Father please help me to learn whatever lesson you are teaching me so we can be relieved from this trial..." That would be according to His will and it would let him know our heartfelt desire. I just need to phrase my prayers about our financial challenges to Father in that light, I presume. "Father help me learn the lessons you are teaching me and help me know what I should do to be able to serve thee as a missionary with my wife - financially."
Doing this takes time and effort to think, pause, and phrase our prayers according to Father's will. I guess the challenge is to be like Nephi in the book of Helaman. Possible? Sure.
Thus I wonder as I sit and ponder about the things that need to be done to get us ready, is there anything that we should not pray for? Could we pray for things that will hurt us, thwart our progress toward the goals that FATHER has for us?
With our limited sight of what is on the "plans" for each of us, I would imagine that we may be praying for something that is not in His best interest for our mortal education. I know this is just words, but let me explain.
As I am in the financial frame of thought these days, checking out the cost of missions, reviewing the changes the Church has made lately to facilitate that more seniors go on missions, and since we are approaching our mission, it is time to consider finances. Thus along the path mentioned above, can I ask the Father to direct me what to do, how to do it and what to pursue so we can have "sufficient for our needs" as we serve. One son-in-law said that we may be blessed without that $50,000 (tongue in cheek, whatever that means and where that saying came from...) to support us wherever we go. He said it would be great for our kids and grand kids to have the privilege of supporting grand parents on a mission and enjoy the blessings of so doing.
So if that is what Father has in store for us, am I wrong to ask for "things" to happen to help us be more financially prepared? Can what we pray for curse us?
In Helaman 10, Nephi receives a blessing telling him that whatever he prays for will be granted because he would not ask for anything contrary to Father's will. That is a goal of mine, but I am not there yet. So again I ask, if I pray for something that is not in accordance to Father's will, am I in the wrong. There are often times that just by phrasing a request to Father will put the request in line with whatever His will might be.
For instance, if we being unemployed ask it this way, "Father please help me to learn whatever lesson you are teaching me so we can be relieved from this trial..." That would be according to His will and it would let him know our heartfelt desire. I just need to phrase my prayers about our financial challenges to Father in that light, I presume. "Father help me learn the lessons you are teaching me and help me know what I should do to be able to serve thee as a missionary with my wife - financially."
Doing this takes time and effort to think, pause, and phrase our prayers according to Father's will. I guess the challenge is to be like Nephi in the book of Helaman. Possible? Sure.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
DAY 147 -- Time to Fix Bodies, and other Goals
It is time. We only have 147 days to be ready for our call. In that time, we have much to do, besides the dreams that have to be realized (My sister asked where I was on my dream, goal to "find" $50,000. I smiled and said I had collected about ten dollars toward that. God is a God of Miracles. Patience, right?)
Less than five months. We have to check out our bodies, for the application to become missionaries is filled with health concerns, questions, and such. So, we need to make sure we are as healthy as we need to be. It might take a major overhaul of one of us, or perhaps just a change of oil.
Either way it is time to start lubing and oiling our bodies. It is also time to evaluate our finances. June will be here before we know it and we will be required to tell the bishop the financial preparation we have as well as the financial needs we have.
So, without that $50,000, we will need to check out how we can support ourselves on a mission to anywhere. I know we are going, and I know there is a certain place we need to go, but I do not know how we can go financially. Again, five months is ample time to figure that out. But I have to have that in place to send in our missionary papers.
We will be out of debt in June or July, and then we can go. At least it is required to be out of debt before we go, and thus we have a plan to do so. After debt is gone then it is time to go. We will let our loved ones know of this need and we shall see if other can help in supporting us. Then after that is fixed, we will talk to our bishop and let him know our circumstances.
Father knows all of these things. He knows where we are and where we want to get to by June 9. He is controlling things in our life that will help us learn lessons, strengthen faith, and praise him continually due to the tender mercies we will witness in the next five months, for I know they are there and will be made known to us.
So, bottom line, we continue to move toward our mission, we continue to exercise faith in Father about our fixing of our bodies and fixing of our bank accounts. All will fall into place in His due time. I am getting more and more excited about serving as missionaries.
Less than five months. We have to check out our bodies, for the application to become missionaries is filled with health concerns, questions, and such. So, we need to make sure we are as healthy as we need to be. It might take a major overhaul of one of us, or perhaps just a change of oil.
Either way it is time to start lubing and oiling our bodies. It is also time to evaluate our finances. June will be here before we know it and we will be required to tell the bishop the financial preparation we have as well as the financial needs we have.
So, without that $50,000, we will need to check out how we can support ourselves on a mission to anywhere. I know we are going, and I know there is a certain place we need to go, but I do not know how we can go financially. Again, five months is ample time to figure that out. But I have to have that in place to send in our missionary papers.
We will be out of debt in June or July, and then we can go. At least it is required to be out of debt before we go, and thus we have a plan to do so. After debt is gone then it is time to go. We will let our loved ones know of this need and we shall see if other can help in supporting us. Then after that is fixed, we will talk to our bishop and let him know our circumstances.
Father knows all of these things. He knows where we are and where we want to get to by June 9. He is controlling things in our life that will help us learn lessons, strengthen faith, and praise him continually due to the tender mercies we will witness in the next five months, for I know they are there and will be made known to us.
So, bottom line, we continue to move toward our mission, we continue to exercise faith in Father about our fixing of our bodies and fixing of our bank accounts. All will fall into place in His due time. I am getting more and more excited about serving as missionaries.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
DAY 148 -- Travel Weary This Morning
Last night I was singing... You see Bonnie and I sing in a group named, "The Sally Bytheway Chorale." We present concerts every December and every May. We just finished one set of concerts and now are waiting until we start practicing for our May concerts. It is always interesting to see the collection of songs that Sally chooses for us to sing.
Last night I was singing a song all night long. It is one of those songs that keeps in your head and never goes away. I don't know who originally sang it, but it is the song where the male country singer sings, "I've been everywhere, son, I've been everywhere... I've been to Toledo, Salt Lake, Memphis, New York, Tallahassee,...." Etc. I believe he sings about being in every major city in the world. And he sings rapidly. It is going to be a hard one with my dysfunctional tongue trying to keep up with the beat, the notes, and all those cities.
Now I don't know whether Sally has chosen that song for us to sing or not, and I won't know until some time in Febraury, but I was singing that, or trying to sing that all night long in my dreams. I woke up after visiting Miami and realized I was not getting very deep sleep, so I tried to direct my dreams somewhere else. I tried to think about work, or about teaching High Priests, or about what is going to happen today. Then I'd end up in Chicago and from there I would continue to sing that song and go to Portland and then to Boise.
I've been everywhere, and then since it was a long night, I went again. I've been everywhere twice. As the sun was coming up I was visiting Los Angeles, then flitted down to Houston, then on to Atlanta. As I opened my eyes I was sitting in Vegas on my way to Denver.
Now I know that Sally is inspired, much more than I am, and I know that she will choose the best songs to sing come May, and I know that Bonnie and I will be singing with her, but after last night I am travel-weary. (Bonnie said that the one who sang it originally was Johnny Cash. I wonder if they had frequent flyer miles back then?)
Maybe last night's dream (nightmare) will be direct inspiration to have me prepare doing exercises to get my tongue trained and ready. (Lately there has been a glitch between my brain and my mouth. My mouth comes out with strange things that don't make sense. Maybe this is also a warning to get my brain and mouth on the same wave length?)
Well as we start practicing with our dear friend Sally, I will report to those who really care, and those who don't care whether we are going to sing that song come May. Whether or not we do, I am sure travel-weary this morning.
Last night I was singing a song all night long. It is one of those songs that keeps in your head and never goes away. I don't know who originally sang it, but it is the song where the male country singer sings, "I've been everywhere, son, I've been everywhere... I've been to Toledo, Salt Lake, Memphis, New York, Tallahassee,...." Etc. I believe he sings about being in every major city in the world. And he sings rapidly. It is going to be a hard one with my dysfunctional tongue trying to keep up with the beat, the notes, and all those cities.
Now I don't know whether Sally has chosen that song for us to sing or not, and I won't know until some time in Febraury, but I was singing that, or trying to sing that all night long in my dreams. I woke up after visiting Miami and realized I was not getting very deep sleep, so I tried to direct my dreams somewhere else. I tried to think about work, or about teaching High Priests, or about what is going to happen today. Then I'd end up in Chicago and from there I would continue to sing that song and go to Portland and then to Boise.
I've been everywhere, and then since it was a long night, I went again. I've been everywhere twice. As the sun was coming up I was visiting Los Angeles, then flitted down to Houston, then on to Atlanta. As I opened my eyes I was sitting in Vegas on my way to Denver.
Now I know that Sally is inspired, much more than I am, and I know that she will choose the best songs to sing come May, and I know that Bonnie and I will be singing with her, but after last night I am travel-weary. (Bonnie said that the one who sang it originally was Johnny Cash. I wonder if they had frequent flyer miles back then?)
Maybe last night's dream (nightmare) will be direct inspiration to have me prepare doing exercises to get my tongue trained and ready. (Lately there has been a glitch between my brain and my mouth. My mouth comes out with strange things that don't make sense. Maybe this is also a warning to get my brain and mouth on the same wave length?)
Well as we start practicing with our dear friend Sally, I will report to those who really care, and those who don't care whether we are going to sing that song come May. Whether or not we do, I am sure travel-weary this morning.
Friday, January 13, 2012
DAY 149 --- Faith Not Money
I was lamenting yesterday when I made the comment, "I don't understand why I am planning on going on a mission, for I have no money, and I am in debt." The one who heard it replied, "People don't on a mission because they have money, they go because they have faith."
Then my mind raced and I realized that he spoke the truth. It is 149 days until we celebrate our 40th anniversary of being married, of entering the Salt Lake Temple and being sealed for time and eternity. We have been blessed with the struggles of money since we were married. Bonnie had seven proposals of marriage and I was the seventh. She must have felt tired and depressed cause she kept turning those love sick boys down. Then along came Bill Partridge and since she was tired, she said OK.
I have reviewed my earthly father. He was blessed with more than sufficient for his needed. He was never rich, but he had enough. All things are as they should be, then and now.
It is a waste of time to "go back" and question "what if." There are no "what if's" in Father in Heaven's language. Things happen as they should. Bonnie and I got married and there is no what if about those other six depressed young men. There is no what if about our finances.
We are all set in our path in mortality and all of us have different things to learn from, to grow from, and to accept and live with. It is His plan to perfect us all, and that is why we go through different things. Father knows us as our Father should and knows what we need to learn in mortality. He blessed us to marry each other and blesses us with financial insecurity.
But that tends to teach faith in Him. I know the scripture in the D and C which says "...there is enough and to spare..." But then it says He will direct when, how and if, all about money. He has chosen to teach us these lessons by what we experience in this life.
Back to faith. I want to go on a mission this summer with Bonnie. It is a given and we are working towards it. We don't know exactly how we shall do so, but I have had many confirmations that we will go. He knows where we are financially, physically, emotionally, and all ways. He will provide the way, when and how He wants to.
We just exercise faith. We need to go on a mission with our faith, not with financial backing. If is a large comfort to me to know that Father knows where I am and what I am doing. Nothing surprises Him. All we have to do is BE mold-able, listen and follow, and He will direct and support. Those tender mercies will be made known to us in His time frame.
Then my mind raced and I realized that he spoke the truth. It is 149 days until we celebrate our 40th anniversary of being married, of entering the Salt Lake Temple and being sealed for time and eternity. We have been blessed with the struggles of money since we were married. Bonnie had seven proposals of marriage and I was the seventh. She must have felt tired and depressed cause she kept turning those love sick boys down. Then along came Bill Partridge and since she was tired, she said OK.
I have reviewed my earthly father. He was blessed with more than sufficient for his needed. He was never rich, but he had enough. All things are as they should be, then and now.
It is a waste of time to "go back" and question "what if." There are no "what if's" in Father in Heaven's language. Things happen as they should. Bonnie and I got married and there is no what if about those other six depressed young men. There is no what if about our finances.
We are all set in our path in mortality and all of us have different things to learn from, to grow from, and to accept and live with. It is His plan to perfect us all, and that is why we go through different things. Father knows us as our Father should and knows what we need to learn in mortality. He blessed us to marry each other and blesses us with financial insecurity.
But that tends to teach faith in Him. I know the scripture in the D and C which says "...there is enough and to spare..." But then it says He will direct when, how and if, all about money. He has chosen to teach us these lessons by what we experience in this life.
Back to faith. I want to go on a mission this summer with Bonnie. It is a given and we are working towards it. We don't know exactly how we shall do so, but I have had many confirmations that we will go. He knows where we are financially, physically, emotionally, and all ways. He will provide the way, when and how He wants to.
We just exercise faith. We need to go on a mission with our faith, not with financial backing. If is a large comfort to me to know that Father knows where I am and what I am doing. Nothing surprises Him. All we have to do is BE mold-able, listen and follow, and He will direct and support. Those tender mercies will be made known to us in His time frame.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
DAY 150 -- THANKSGIVING in JANUARY
I feel grateful today. I am thinking of making today a day of thanks, a Thanksgiving for me. I have felt the Spirit of my Father in my mind and I joy in all the blessings I have. As I observe around me, there are so many who do not have a wonderful wife, a great family, all my kids married and having my grandchildren. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and joy in that truth that means so much to me. It models my life, the gospel and it's teaching do.
As I looked at the front page of this blog, I noted that the title also gave me joy. "Realizing Dreams and Visions." Of course that comes from Elder Holland's wonderful counsel, but I started to recall the many dreams I have, the major one of serving in the Kingdom full time in a few months, 150 days until M day.
As I sit here and ponder about my dreams, I realize that everyone has dreams. Most everyone has a goal that they are working towards. Many dream of being rich and having more than sufficient for their needs. Many have a dream related to work, progressing in the business world, upward, higher, and more power. Some have the dream of being the President of the United States, the most powerful man in the world,.... almost.
On this self appointed day of Thanksgiving Day, I give thanks to my Father knowing that my dreams of serving a mission, of preparing for that mission call with my eternal companion, of giving my all to help in the Kingdom, these goals are according to His will. My goals at work, at church, in this mortal world are of much lesser importance to me.
I think of my children. I believe that their goals are of Divine inspiration and I give thanks this day that their goals, at least the ones I know of, are according to the wishes of Father. What greater blessing can I find to be thankful for this day, having my goals and those of my children be in accordance with Father's wishes?
I know that all my dreams will not be realized. That is OK, but if they are in accordance with Father's will, does it matter? Paul prayed for his "thorn" to be taken away, but it was not. I would assume that I have been blessed with a thorn or two that I must learn to live with and be happy, no matter what. I can do that. I will still dream, work toward realizing each dream, but leave it all in Father hands. I am so thankful to have that insight and comfort about dreams, thorns, and children. Happy Thanksgiving in January.
As I looked at the front page of this blog, I noted that the title also gave me joy. "Realizing Dreams and Visions." Of course that comes from Elder Holland's wonderful counsel, but I started to recall the many dreams I have, the major one of serving in the Kingdom full time in a few months, 150 days until M day.
As I sit here and ponder about my dreams, I realize that everyone has dreams. Most everyone has a goal that they are working towards. Many dream of being rich and having more than sufficient for their needs. Many have a dream related to work, progressing in the business world, upward, higher, and more power. Some have the dream of being the President of the United States, the most powerful man in the world,.... almost.
On this self appointed day of Thanksgiving Day, I give thanks to my Father knowing that my dreams of serving a mission, of preparing for that mission call with my eternal companion, of giving my all to help in the Kingdom, these goals are according to His will. My goals at work, at church, in this mortal world are of much lesser importance to me.
I think of my children. I believe that their goals are of Divine inspiration and I give thanks this day that their goals, at least the ones I know of, are according to the wishes of Father. What greater blessing can I find to be thankful for this day, having my goals and those of my children be in accordance with Father's wishes?
I know that all my dreams will not be realized. That is OK, but if they are in accordance with Father's will, does it matter? Paul prayed for his "thorn" to be taken away, but it was not. I would assume that I have been blessed with a thorn or two that I must learn to live with and be happy, no matter what. I can do that. I will still dream, work toward realizing each dream, but leave it all in Father hands. I am so thankful to have that insight and comfort about dreams, thorns, and children. Happy Thanksgiving in January.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
DAY 151 -- We Heeded Them Not
I read Lehi's "Tree of Life" vision this morning. It is just like being in the mission field. When Lehi tasted of the fruit, he desired his loved ones partake of it also, since it was desirable to make one happy. His wife and a couple of kids followed his direction and went to where he was to partake of the fruit. But as we know, two did not.
I remember in Mexico a hundred years ago, we taught a young couple who excited about our message. They were excited about learning the gospel. They knew that Joseph was a prophet and knew the Book of Mormon was true. However...
They were those who tasted of the truth, the joys of the gospel but because of friends and others mocking them, laughing at their decision to be baptised into the truth, they fell away and were actually never baptised. They started in their journey toward the tree, they tasted of the joy and happiness of the gospel, but because of others, they fell into the mists.
Though through my mission, there were many who didn't fall away, but there were many that did fall away because of what is described in Lehi's vision. I remember like it was yesterday the pain and anguish we felt as we watched them choose their friends instead of the truth.
Lehi remarks, "...but we heeded them not." How do young elders or senior missionaries convince their investigators to heed them not? This young couple in Mexico chose to be accepted of friends, associates rather than taste of the beauties of the gospel.
I am sure this happens in many places throughout the world daily. As I was pondering this, I realized that this "choosing" happens within the church, the Kingdom every day also. Do we desire to be accepted by what we wear, whether we listen to the prophet and his counsel rather than follow the iron rod and partake of the fruit? I am sure this is one thing we will be confronted with as we get to go and serve in the field.
I am excited, but oh how painful it is to grow to love a brother or sister and see them choose the great and spacious building rather than the gospel of the Kingdom. As you watch beloved one choose the path toward the building rather than baptism, it wrenched the heart.
I remember in Mexico a hundred years ago, we taught a young couple who excited about our message. They were excited about learning the gospel. They knew that Joseph was a prophet and knew the Book of Mormon was true. However...
They were those who tasted of the truth, the joys of the gospel but because of friends and others mocking them, laughing at their decision to be baptised into the truth, they fell away and were actually never baptised. They started in their journey toward the tree, they tasted of the joy and happiness of the gospel, but because of others, they fell into the mists.
Though through my mission, there were many who didn't fall away, but there were many that did fall away because of what is described in Lehi's vision. I remember like it was yesterday the pain and anguish we felt as we watched them choose their friends instead of the truth.
Lehi remarks, "...but we heeded them not." How do young elders or senior missionaries convince their investigators to heed them not? This young couple in Mexico chose to be accepted of friends, associates rather than taste of the beauties of the gospel.
I am sure this happens in many places throughout the world daily. As I was pondering this, I realized that this "choosing" happens within the church, the Kingdom every day also. Do we desire to be accepted by what we wear, whether we listen to the prophet and his counsel rather than follow the iron rod and partake of the fruit? I am sure this is one thing we will be confronted with as we get to go and serve in the field.
I am excited, but oh how painful it is to grow to love a brother or sister and see them choose the great and spacious building rather than the gospel of the Kingdom. As you watch beloved one choose the path toward the building rather than baptism, it wrenched the heart.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
DAY 152 -- Father's Loving Hands
What a beautiful picture it is. We have a loving, all knowing, all powerful Father in Heaven who is in charge of all things. He is "running" the show, manager of the scene we are living, and is aware of all people, all things, and even all thoughts that each of us has.
In His management of all things, His purpose is the perfecting, the teaching, the nurturing of all of us. He knows what we need, what we don't need, and even what we think about our needs and wants. It is comforting to know that since He is in charge, all things happen according to His knowledge. He doesn't cause things, and He is even pained by our actions, decisions, and rejection of His nurturing.
In my own tutoring by Father, I realized lately that Father is using other people, and their nurturing as a tool to teach and nurture me. Is that confusing?
I have a sister who is single and when we are together, she tells me of a co-worker that is her challenge. That worker is "different" than my sister and thus becomes an avenue for Father to try and teach my sister about many things, about love, about acceptance, about charity, etc.
I have a co worker who is also being used by Father to teach me many of the same lessons, charity, understanding, acceptance in differences, and compassion.
Too often I lament that he is not like me. He does not follow my expectations of him. I find myself getting frustrated, even angered that he will not be as I am. Then I look in the mirror and realize that why should he be like me. He is different, he has his talents and often does things differently.
As I take a step back from the position I find myself in today, I realize that this is a lesson that has been on my plate for many years. It is a lesson that I must learn before I go on my mission in five months. All my mortal and Spiritual brothers and sisters are different. They have different abilities, challenges, trials, and attitudes.
Father knows what He is doing, and every brother or sister is on a path to be perfected just as I am, but they have a different path than mine. We are all different, and I need to accept that fact that Father knows all and is busily doing what He does in each of our lives. I just need to be more accepting of Father's loving teaching hands in my life as well as in others and try to learn lessons contained therein.
In His management of all things, His purpose is the perfecting, the teaching, the nurturing of all of us. He knows what we need, what we don't need, and even what we think about our needs and wants. It is comforting to know that since He is in charge, all things happen according to His knowledge. He doesn't cause things, and He is even pained by our actions, decisions, and rejection of His nurturing.
In my own tutoring by Father, I realized lately that Father is using other people, and their nurturing as a tool to teach and nurture me. Is that confusing?
I have a sister who is single and when we are together, she tells me of a co-worker that is her challenge. That worker is "different" than my sister and thus becomes an avenue for Father to try and teach my sister about many things, about love, about acceptance, about charity, etc.
I have a co worker who is also being used by Father to teach me many of the same lessons, charity, understanding, acceptance in differences, and compassion.
Too often I lament that he is not like me. He does not follow my expectations of him. I find myself getting frustrated, even angered that he will not be as I am. Then I look in the mirror and realize that why should he be like me. He is different, he has his talents and often does things differently.
As I take a step back from the position I find myself in today, I realize that this is a lesson that has been on my plate for many years. It is a lesson that I must learn before I go on my mission in five months. All my mortal and Spiritual brothers and sisters are different. They have different abilities, challenges, trials, and attitudes.
Father knows what He is doing, and every brother or sister is on a path to be perfected just as I am, but they have a different path than mine. We are all different, and I need to accept that fact that Father knows all and is busily doing what He does in each of our lives. I just need to be more accepting of Father's loving teaching hands in my life as well as in others and try to learn lessons contained therein.
Monday, January 9, 2012
DAY 153 -- Father's Ultimate Control
When I read the murmuring of Laman and Lemuel, it again struck me as a recurring theme in the Book of Mormon, as well as other scripture. After the angel came and saved Nephi and Samuel, the brothers said "How is it possible...?"
A friend asked me this morning, "Where is your faith? Don't you believe that it is all in His hands?" My boss asked me, "Why don't things happen in a timely manner...?" Then I asked him what he was supposed to be learning, since it is all in Father's hands. He lamented about not having sufficient money for his needs, but then said that it is all in Father's control and if it was according to Father's desire, he could have more than sufficient for needs and even wants.
Then it occurred to me that the same is true with my own money. We are paying off debt we acquired in my last business and after that is all paid off, we will be ready to go on a mission. I often ponder within my own heart what is Father trying to teach me with the scarcity of money in my life. The scriptures say, "...there is enough and to spare..." speaking about money. Father is in charge of money, where it is, where it isn't, and he uses money, or lack of it to teach important lessons.
But not only is He using money, but He also uses pride, or the lack of it to teach important lessons. He uses success, or lack of it to teach lessons also. He uses a myriad of tools to teach each of His children the things they need to learn in this mortality. It is His work and glory to teach us lessons to have Eternal Life. He glories in it.
As I pause and ponder about the reason I started this blog, and the mission as our ultimate goal, I am often reminded that Father is in charge of money, of success, of mistakes and errors, of costly repairs on the body and the car, etc. Father is in charge of "things" surrounding us and uses them to help us progress, learn, and be worthy of desired blessings.
As I sit here in front of this screen, I must admit I feel so confident that He is aware of me, what I am doing, what I am feeling, what bothers me, and who is bothering me, etc. He is certainly in charge of everything in my life. I am grateful for that, but it is a concept that is easy to forget, and to get lost in the mess of this life. Got to improve in that area of my life.
A friend asked me this morning, "Where is your faith? Don't you believe that it is all in His hands?" My boss asked me, "Why don't things happen in a timely manner...?" Then I asked him what he was supposed to be learning, since it is all in Father's hands. He lamented about not having sufficient money for his needs, but then said that it is all in Father's control and if it was according to Father's desire, he could have more than sufficient for needs and even wants.
Then it occurred to me that the same is true with my own money. We are paying off debt we acquired in my last business and after that is all paid off, we will be ready to go on a mission. I often ponder within my own heart what is Father trying to teach me with the scarcity of money in my life. The scriptures say, "...there is enough and to spare..." speaking about money. Father is in charge of money, where it is, where it isn't, and he uses money, or lack of it to teach important lessons.
But not only is He using money, but He also uses pride, or the lack of it to teach important lessons. He uses success, or lack of it to teach lessons also. He uses a myriad of tools to teach each of His children the things they need to learn in this mortality. It is His work and glory to teach us lessons to have Eternal Life. He glories in it.
As I pause and ponder about the reason I started this blog, and the mission as our ultimate goal, I am often reminded that Father is in charge of money, of success, of mistakes and errors, of costly repairs on the body and the car, etc. Father is in charge of "things" surrounding us and uses them to help us progress, learn, and be worthy of desired blessings.
As I sit here in front of this screen, I must admit I feel so confident that He is aware of me, what I am doing, what I am feeling, what bothers me, and who is bothering me, etc. He is certainly in charge of everything in my life. I am grateful for that, but it is a concept that is easy to forget, and to get lost in the mess of this life. Got to improve in that area of my life.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
DAY 154 --- Is It REAL?
Five months from tomorrow we will be celebrating 40 years since we entered the Salt Lake Temple and had Elder Robert L. Simpson seal us for time and all eternity. We struggled as most young couples struggle while I continued to work toward my Mechanical Engineering degree.
Father let us experience many things to teach us lessons. Through forty years, Bonnie and I had six kids and have 18 grand kids and two more coming. The two news ones will come about the time we will be leaving on our mission.
We watched my mom and dad serve four missions, come home and serve more locally. Dad was called as a Patriarch, while mom continued to serve in a Relief Society way. We continued to learn, grow, and progress.
Today our Bishop suggested that we sit down soon and discuss our plans, our goals, and where we were and how we were progressing toward our mission. He suggested that since he does the same thing with young Elders and Sisters getting ready to go on a mission, he ought to do so with the OLD missionaries. We have countless times explained to him of our goals for June 9th.
So within the next week or so, we shall sit with our bishop and together plan for that day when the Lord will inspire those in charge and we shall know where Father would have us serve in the Kingdom.
Each time something like this happens, I begin to celebrate about the upcoming mission. I also remember those times when I was tearing up as I watched friends leave on a mission. I recall the times when "Called To Serve" was sung and my heart felt sad because we were not ready to serve.
It is still hard to keep in my mind the desires I have felt for so long to serve. I keep remembering the days of the past when I was feeling those excited feelings about the coming mission when I had to be devastated when things fell apart, and things did not fall into place so we could serve.
I am hesitant to actually think that within five months we could really be ready to go, and close to our mission. It is like a dream, never to come true. But little things keep happening that it actually be a reality.
I guess another goal I need to plant firmly in my mind is things are going as planned, and unless something major happens, we are going to serve together somewhere soon. We need to continue getting the body and the internals lubed and oiled, tuned up, and new batteries installed, and all those things.
I am beginning to believe it.
Father let us experience many things to teach us lessons. Through forty years, Bonnie and I had six kids and have 18 grand kids and two more coming. The two news ones will come about the time we will be leaving on our mission.
We watched my mom and dad serve four missions, come home and serve more locally. Dad was called as a Patriarch, while mom continued to serve in a Relief Society way. We continued to learn, grow, and progress.
Today our Bishop suggested that we sit down soon and discuss our plans, our goals, and where we were and how we were progressing toward our mission. He suggested that since he does the same thing with young Elders and Sisters getting ready to go on a mission, he ought to do so with the OLD missionaries. We have countless times explained to him of our goals for June 9th.
So within the next week or so, we shall sit with our bishop and together plan for that day when the Lord will inspire those in charge and we shall know where Father would have us serve in the Kingdom.
Each time something like this happens, I begin to celebrate about the upcoming mission. I also remember those times when I was tearing up as I watched friends leave on a mission. I recall the times when "Called To Serve" was sung and my heart felt sad because we were not ready to serve.
It is still hard to keep in my mind the desires I have felt for so long to serve. I keep remembering the days of the past when I was feeling those excited feelings about the coming mission when I had to be devastated when things fell apart, and things did not fall into place so we could serve.
I am hesitant to actually think that within five months we could really be ready to go, and close to our mission. It is like a dream, never to come true. But little things keep happening that it actually be a reality.
I guess another goal I need to plant firmly in my mind is things are going as planned, and unless something major happens, we are going to serve together somewhere soon. We need to continue getting the body and the internals lubed and oiled, tuned up, and new batteries installed, and all those things.
I am beginning to believe it.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
DAY 155 --- I Can't Count
I have been accused by many of not being able to hear. I have been accused by many of not being able to see. I have been accused mostly by children that I just don't understand. I have been accused of many to be hard, obstinate, and even unfeeling.
Well, now I will be accused by many of you of not being able to count either. I am a mechanical engineer. I went into engineering because I like solid facts, those that do not change. I love numbers. I even minored in Mathematics. Now since starting this blog, I have not been able to count from 365 down to 1. I have had to go back and recount the days until June 9. So, that is why the countdown has suffered a re-count, a new number.
Since we are in an election year, I remember not too long ago that the whole state of Florida had to have a recount for electing the President of the United States. There were dangling chads, whatever they are. Are they related to dangling participles? I don't know what they are either. Anyway, there were miscounted votes, and even some demanded a recount.
Well, I have just gone through a recount to the famous day of June 9. Or, infamous day of June 9th. Of course we have to consider that there was a LEAP day thrown in there, so I can use that as an excuse of not being able to count too well. And I guess I could use the excuse of my age, my lack of hearing, my blindness, my other age-related weaknesses.
I just can't count beyond three. And as I have gone back and looked, once in a while, I post two on the same day. Don't know why I did that, don't know how I did that, unless I was suffering from one of those above-listed age-related old symptoms.
Oh well, I guess those who read this have to give me an allowance of being OLD and weak, and forgetful, and countless, and all of those things.
But no matter what, we are still counting the days, (though not too accurately) and excited about June 9 coming sooner or later. Maybe next time I will have to use a calculator. Sorry, but now you know that I have another weakness.
Well, now I will be accused by many of you of not being able to count either. I am a mechanical engineer. I went into engineering because I like solid facts, those that do not change. I love numbers. I even minored in Mathematics. Now since starting this blog, I have not been able to count from 365 down to 1. I have had to go back and recount the days until June 9. So, that is why the countdown has suffered a re-count, a new number.
Since we are in an election year, I remember not too long ago that the whole state of Florida had to have a recount for electing the President of the United States. There were dangling chads, whatever they are. Are they related to dangling participles? I don't know what they are either. Anyway, there were miscounted votes, and even some demanded a recount.
Well, I have just gone through a recount to the famous day of June 9. Or, infamous day of June 9th. Of course we have to consider that there was a LEAP day thrown in there, so I can use that as an excuse of not being able to count too well. And I guess I could use the excuse of my age, my lack of hearing, my blindness, my other age-related weaknesses.
I just can't count beyond three. And as I have gone back and looked, once in a while, I post two on the same day. Don't know why I did that, don't know how I did that, unless I was suffering from one of those above-listed age-related old symptoms.
Oh well, I guess those who read this have to give me an allowance of being OLD and weak, and forgetful, and countless, and all of those things.
But no matter what, we are still counting the days, (though not too accurately) and excited about June 9 coming sooner or later. Maybe next time I will have to use a calculator. Sorry, but now you know that I have another weakness.
Friday, January 6, 2012
DAY 153 --- How Can That Be?
I love the Book of Mormon. This morning I was reading it again and read a statement by those two murmurers. Right after the angel appeared to them, the angel departed and they said, "How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea even he can slay fifty; then why not us?"
There is so much to learn from this short sermon. They questioned the voice of an angel. The angel just came to save their younger brothers, and then they question what the angel said. They still feared Laban, and what "could" happen. They knew that he was a strong man. They questioned whether the Lord could do what the angel said.
I wonder how often I get an inspiration from my Father, from the Holy Ghost, and then do I often ask, "Well how can that be?" Laban is a mighty man.
How can we serve a mission? We are going to be short about $50,000 to serve a mission. We do not have health insurance and I heard that we have to have health insurance, and the policy the church offers is very expensive, for OLD people, like me.
It is sure easy to question the word of Father, or the prophets. It is easier to believe what we know rather than have to exercise faith in the words of an angel, or the words of inspiration. Or even the words that have rung true in my mind for many months.
I can't help but recall the words about Laman and Lemuel when it says of them, "They did not know the dealings of the Lord." It also tells that they would not ask of Father because He would not answer them. Was it because of their wicked ways, their murmuring ways, or their lack of faith?
I "hear" in my mind either Father saying or Satan saying, "Oh ye of little faith." Father shakes His head and wishes that I had stronger faith. Satan is laughing that my faith is not as strong as it should be.
How many things in this life, this mortality do I ask "How can that be?" I am sure the Children of Israel were asking this questions about Manna, about the Red Sea, about the promise of obtaining the promised land. I am sure the pioneers were questioning "How can that be" when Johnson's army was approaching the Salt Lake Valley, they also questioned when the seagulls were eating all their food supplies.
I am sure there are many, "How can that be" statements going on in many minds today. Oh that we had stronger faith, and go about doing what the Spirit tells us to do rather than worry, How can that be?
There is so much to learn from this short sermon. They questioned the voice of an angel. The angel just came to save their younger brothers, and then they question what the angel said. They still feared Laban, and what "could" happen. They knew that he was a strong man. They questioned whether the Lord could do what the angel said.
I wonder how often I get an inspiration from my Father, from the Holy Ghost, and then do I often ask, "Well how can that be?" Laban is a mighty man.
How can we serve a mission? We are going to be short about $50,000 to serve a mission. We do not have health insurance and I heard that we have to have health insurance, and the policy the church offers is very expensive, for OLD people, like me.
It is sure easy to question the word of Father, or the prophets. It is easier to believe what we know rather than have to exercise faith in the words of an angel, or the words of inspiration. Or even the words that have rung true in my mind for many months.
I can't help but recall the words about Laman and Lemuel when it says of them, "They did not know the dealings of the Lord." It also tells that they would not ask of Father because He would not answer them. Was it because of their wicked ways, their murmuring ways, or their lack of faith?
I "hear" in my mind either Father saying or Satan saying, "Oh ye of little faith." Father shakes His head and wishes that I had stronger faith. Satan is laughing that my faith is not as strong as it should be.
How many things in this life, this mortality do I ask "How can that be?" I am sure the Children of Israel were asking this questions about Manna, about the Red Sea, about the promise of obtaining the promised land. I am sure the pioneers were questioning "How can that be" when Johnson's army was approaching the Salt Lake Valley, they also questioned when the seagulls were eating all their food supplies.
I am sure there are many, "How can that be" statements going on in many minds today. Oh that we had stronger faith, and go about doing what the Spirit tells us to do rather than worry, How can that be?
DAY 154 -- BECOMING
In a conference talk a while ago, Elder Bednar suggested that we all should concentrate on "becoming" rather than being. Becoming what?
To me when I think about becoming, it gives me hope that if I am not all I should, could be now, I can still work on becoming what I need to be. Or better said, becoming what I really am.
I have always taught, espoused the idea that we need to be who we were before mortality. We each had an identity. We each had an opinion about things. We each had a certain disposition to do good and follow Christ. We each chose Christ's plan, or we would not be here today.
Each of us had a certain desire to be valiant in the Kingdom, being a disciple of Christ. However, with that veil place over our mind, often some of us choose not to be as diligent as we desire to be. We fall short of what we were, and what we really are. We fail when we are tried and tested. We are miles away from what we are, and have been in the pre-earth life.
It is nice that there is Eternal Progression and we believe in enduring until the end. We have time. We will not be doomed for every mistake. We have the privilege of using the atonement to repent and grow, and be better.
At the end of each day, are we closer to what we truly are, or are we distancing ourselves from what we want to be, what we were before we came to earth. Are we becoming as He would have us be?
That is so all encompassing, all inclusive. It is just not reading our scriptures, praying and doing good. It is not just being a good person, serving everyone we see each day. It is not all obeying the commandments. Those things are part of it, but becoming a true disciple of Christ is an effort we need to put forth daily, weekly, hourly, and constantly.
We need to live our lives so that we can become our Father's son and daughter. He doesn't demand perfection, but He certainly suggests it, encourages it and He will help us become what we each know we should become.
When I look in the mirror each morning, I see how old I am getting, how white my hair is turning, but at least I have hair. I consider who I truly am, what I believe, how have I served, and how I have helped in His work and Glory for this earth. There is much to do, and by so doing, we are becoming what we truly are.
To me when I think about becoming, it gives me hope that if I am not all I should, could be now, I can still work on becoming what I need to be. Or better said, becoming what I really am.
I have always taught, espoused the idea that we need to be who we were before mortality. We each had an identity. We each had an opinion about things. We each had a certain disposition to do good and follow Christ. We each chose Christ's plan, or we would not be here today.
Each of us had a certain desire to be valiant in the Kingdom, being a disciple of Christ. However, with that veil place over our mind, often some of us choose not to be as diligent as we desire to be. We fall short of what we were, and what we really are. We fail when we are tried and tested. We are miles away from what we are, and have been in the pre-earth life.
It is nice that there is Eternal Progression and we believe in enduring until the end. We have time. We will not be doomed for every mistake. We have the privilege of using the atonement to repent and grow, and be better.
At the end of each day, are we closer to what we truly are, or are we distancing ourselves from what we want to be, what we were before we came to earth. Are we becoming as He would have us be?
That is so all encompassing, all inclusive. It is just not reading our scriptures, praying and doing good. It is not just being a good person, serving everyone we see each day. It is not all obeying the commandments. Those things are part of it, but becoming a true disciple of Christ is an effort we need to put forth daily, weekly, hourly, and constantly.
We need to live our lives so that we can become our Father's son and daughter. He doesn't demand perfection, but He certainly suggests it, encourages it and He will help us become what we each know we should become.
When I look in the mirror each morning, I see how old I am getting, how white my hair is turning, but at least I have hair. I consider who I truly am, what I believe, how have I served, and how I have helped in His work and Glory for this earth. There is much to do, and by so doing, we are becoming what we truly are.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
DAY 155 -- SEEDS
I remember one hot day (they were all hot) in Puebla, Mexico. We were tracting and finding no success. Well, there was about 15 young kids, about age 12, who were playing football. Since I was the senior, I decided we had to step it up and hit more doors. But then, I felt this spiritual insight.
I told my companion that we had to set our sticks down and play with the kids. So we did. We played with those kids football for about three hours. I know, it sounds bad and we should have been tracting, however, I was "told" by the Spirit that we were planting seeds. I was "told" that one day at least one of those young kids would be approached by another set of missionaries and they would pause to listen to their message because two missionaries paused and played with them in the street one hot day.
I can't say anything about it. I can't say that one of those kids was baptised. I can't say that anything became of it. But one day after we are all done with mortality, perhaps one day I will know, perhaps I won't. However, I must admit that I knew we were doing what Father would have us do. We were planting seeds in a group of young kids playing in the street.
That is what a mission is all about. All the missionaries called are disciples of our Savior. If they do not enjoy seeing anyone baptised, they do set examples, plant seeds, touch lives, and are still His messengers. There is so much more than just teaching, baptising, tracting, encouraging other missionaries, etc. Missionary work is being where Father wants you to be and doing what He wants you to do, whether resulting in a baptism, or going home with none, feeling like a failure.
Seeds continue to be planted. Lives continue to be influenced. Missionaries continue to meet with what they feel is failure when in reality they are doing exactly what Father would have done in their area. For one day, some senior couple, some Conference talk will be broadcast, someone will say the words that will awaken a seed planted years before, etc.
That is how we can all be missionaries even with our neighbors, planting seeds, touching lives, setting examples of Christ's disciples, etc.
So when Bonnie and I go out, I will watch for football games where I can plant seeds, but if I get too active, I may be doing things that will immediately run me to the hospital. I guess that is why my constant companion will try to get me to act my advanced age. Good luck Bonnie.
I told my companion that we had to set our sticks down and play with the kids. So we did. We played with those kids football for about three hours. I know, it sounds bad and we should have been tracting, however, I was "told" by the Spirit that we were planting seeds. I was "told" that one day at least one of those young kids would be approached by another set of missionaries and they would pause to listen to their message because two missionaries paused and played with them in the street one hot day.
I can't say anything about it. I can't say that one of those kids was baptised. I can't say that anything became of it. But one day after we are all done with mortality, perhaps one day I will know, perhaps I won't. However, I must admit that I knew we were doing what Father would have us do. We were planting seeds in a group of young kids playing in the street.
That is what a mission is all about. All the missionaries called are disciples of our Savior. If they do not enjoy seeing anyone baptised, they do set examples, plant seeds, touch lives, and are still His messengers. There is so much more than just teaching, baptising, tracting, encouraging other missionaries, etc. Missionary work is being where Father wants you to be and doing what He wants you to do, whether resulting in a baptism, or going home with none, feeling like a failure.
Seeds continue to be planted. Lives continue to be influenced. Missionaries continue to meet with what they feel is failure when in reality they are doing exactly what Father would have done in their area. For one day, some senior couple, some Conference talk will be broadcast, someone will say the words that will awaken a seed planted years before, etc.
That is how we can all be missionaries even with our neighbors, planting seeds, touching lives, setting examples of Christ's disciples, etc.
So when Bonnie and I go out, I will watch for football games where I can plant seeds, but if I get too active, I may be doing things that will immediately run me to the hospital. I guess that is why my constant companion will try to get me to act my advanced age. Good luck Bonnie.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
DAY 156 -- Re-meeting Brothers and Sisters in Mortality
We were all there. We all voted to follow the Savior and reject Satan and his ugly plan. We all voted on Christ's plan and were excited about coming to earth to prove ourselves worthy of those glorious blessings and reward that await all His righteous children.
Forty plus years ago, I can recall many people saying that the gospel we were presenting to them sounded familiar. They said it was like "remembering" the teachings of Christ. Of course they are, for they knew the gospel, the whole plan and because of a veil, they forgot it.
That is what our missionaries are doing, giving those interested all over the world an introduction to the gospel they already knew before coming to earth. That is what we will be doing in a few months, presenting a memory to those who will remember. The Spirit will recall it to their memory, or at least help them be interested in the truth.
Christ often taught, "My sheep know my voice." That is what a mission is all about, finding those sheep and letting them "hear" His voice, hear the gospel, and feel joy with the truth ringing in their soul.
We have all heard the idea that we might have made promises to pre-earth friends to find them, help them know the truth, and reclaim them from a wicked world. Well, as I ponder this, I am reminded that we were all there, we knew each other, and we all were fighting Satan and his followers.
Often in this mortality, I meet someone who gives me that same feeling. I feel I know them beyond the time I have known them. In other words, they feel like a dear sister or brother that I must have known before this life. I have only known them in mortality for a few days or a week, but I know them so well that I feel I have known them for eternities.
I am sure there are many of these experiences going on around us. And I am just as certain that we will remember the times before this life when we meet each other again without this veil. That will be a glorious day, renewing beloved brothers and sisters who have traveled this mortality alone, and yet will return to Father, Mother, and brothers and sisters.
I anticipate having this experience, meeting loved ones that I cannot remember, yet will remember by spiritual witness as we serve on a mission. What a joy this will be. Only 156 days.
Forty plus years ago, I can recall many people saying that the gospel we were presenting to them sounded familiar. They said it was like "remembering" the teachings of Christ. Of course they are, for they knew the gospel, the whole plan and because of a veil, they forgot it.
That is what our missionaries are doing, giving those interested all over the world an introduction to the gospel they already knew before coming to earth. That is what we will be doing in a few months, presenting a memory to those who will remember. The Spirit will recall it to their memory, or at least help them be interested in the truth.
Christ often taught, "My sheep know my voice." That is what a mission is all about, finding those sheep and letting them "hear" His voice, hear the gospel, and feel joy with the truth ringing in their soul.
We have all heard the idea that we might have made promises to pre-earth friends to find them, help them know the truth, and reclaim them from a wicked world. Well, as I ponder this, I am reminded that we were all there, we knew each other, and we all were fighting Satan and his followers.
Often in this mortality, I meet someone who gives me that same feeling. I feel I know them beyond the time I have known them. In other words, they feel like a dear sister or brother that I must have known before this life. I have only known them in mortality for a few days or a week, but I know them so well that I feel I have known them for eternities.
I am sure there are many of these experiences going on around us. And I am just as certain that we will remember the times before this life when we meet each other again without this veil. That will be a glorious day, renewing beloved brothers and sisters who have traveled this mortality alone, and yet will return to Father, Mother, and brothers and sisters.
I anticipate having this experience, meeting loved ones that I cannot remember, yet will remember by spiritual witness as we serve on a mission. What a joy this will be. Only 156 days.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
DAY 157 --- Millions Waiting for the Truth, but Know Not Where to Find It
In days of yore, not your days of yore, but my days of yore, I remember about 42 years ago when I was rapidly approaching the final months of my mission, my mission president put me in the city of Martinez De La Torre. There was an elder there who was a great missionary. However, after he had been the instrument in converting about 20 people, he did not know how to get them in the water. He had agreed with them to let them wait as long as they wanted to, to be baptised.
When I arrived and he left, I had this concept that we had to get them baptised while they were active, while they were excited about being baptised. If we did not, then Satan would work with them and in all probability they would not be baptised. So, we started working with them, baptised 18 of them within the next month. The other two insisted on waiting until their birthday, about three months in the future. They were never baptised.
It was very inspirational to me to know that Father does what needs to be done for the benefit of the Kingdom and the spiritual lives of His children. I didn't know why I was going to Martinez, but went according to my Mission President's inspiration. He probably doesn't even know to this day the reasons he sent me there.
There are millions of "future saints" out there waiting for the right elder, sister, or couple to convince them to seek the truth and be ready for the truth. Somewhere in Zimbabwe there may be a single person struggling with their concept of the Godhood. There may be someone in Bangladesh waiting for Bonnie and her love of music to touch them and inspire them to get on their knees. There may be someone in Shanghai waiting for us to touch their lives, needing someone older to tell them about the gospel.
I don't know about all that, but I do know that Father needs senior couples. At times senior couples can do things that younger missionaries cannot. At times younger missionaries plant the seed to be harvested by older missionaries.
I don't know much about that, but I do feel the call, the urge, the desire to give of my time with my sweet companion and be instruments somewhere in the world. It matters not to us where. We are just ready, anxious, and preparing to go and be those tools in Father's hands. My parents served four missions and touched many lives, influenced many souls, and enjoyed four different parts of the world serving. We shall see what becomes of this couple, Bill and Bonnie Partridge.
When I arrived and he left, I had this concept that we had to get them baptised while they were active, while they were excited about being baptised. If we did not, then Satan would work with them and in all probability they would not be baptised. So, we started working with them, baptised 18 of them within the next month. The other two insisted on waiting until their birthday, about three months in the future. They were never baptised.
It was very inspirational to me to know that Father does what needs to be done for the benefit of the Kingdom and the spiritual lives of His children. I didn't know why I was going to Martinez, but went according to my Mission President's inspiration. He probably doesn't even know to this day the reasons he sent me there.
There are millions of "future saints" out there waiting for the right elder, sister, or couple to convince them to seek the truth and be ready for the truth. Somewhere in Zimbabwe there may be a single person struggling with their concept of the Godhood. There may be someone in Bangladesh waiting for Bonnie and her love of music to touch them and inspire them to get on their knees. There may be someone in Shanghai waiting for us to touch their lives, needing someone older to tell them about the gospel.
I don't know about all that, but I do know that Father needs senior couples. At times senior couples can do things that younger missionaries cannot. At times younger missionaries plant the seed to be harvested by older missionaries.
I don't know much about that, but I do feel the call, the urge, the desire to give of my time with my sweet companion and be instruments somewhere in the world. It matters not to us where. We are just ready, anxious, and preparing to go and be those tools in Father's hands. My parents served four missions and touched many lives, influenced many souls, and enjoyed four different parts of the world serving. We shall see what becomes of this couple, Bill and Bonnie Partridge.
Monday, January 2, 2012
DAY 158 -- Rest If We Must, but Get Up And Continue to Fight
I discussed with my "landlords" our future plans for the next five to six months. They seemed OK with our plans. Let it be known that we could not be prepared for our mission without them and their compassion for us. Thanks be to Sam and Tessa. (And all of my children, and many other dear friends for their prayers.)
We discussed with them all our plans of how we were going to go in about six or seven months. They accepted and agreed on those plans. As I continue to consider the goals and dreams to get us out, I continue to ponder what things may fall out of place and what things will give us headaches and obstacles.
As each hurdle is passed and plans are evaluated, I feel more and more comfortable that we are going to be blessed to be able to serve our King. I know other things could enter the picture to modify our plans, but nothing so far.
I am not saying that Father is done teaching us, testing us, and helping us grow through challenges, but at least for right now, things seem to be progressing along in the right path and we will go. Again I say that we are ready to go wherever He wants us to go, and I still feel that there is a certain place that is in need of our testimonies.
Elder Holland said that if we must rest on our swords, that would be OK as long as we get up and fight again and again. I know there will continue to be battles to fight, to learn from, and to show our dedication to this goal and dream. I know there will be speed bumps, difficult mole hills to climb and even a few mountains to move. But I also know that in His strength, in His eyes, all can be overcome and learned from. Thus I proceed forward, ready to tackle anything and continue to progress toward our mission.
It is so nice to know that Father is watching over us, directing us, and waiting upon us to continue in this goal and opportunity to serve. I am excited.
We discussed with them all our plans of how we were going to go in about six or seven months. They accepted and agreed on those plans. As I continue to consider the goals and dreams to get us out, I continue to ponder what things may fall out of place and what things will give us headaches and obstacles.
As each hurdle is passed and plans are evaluated, I feel more and more comfortable that we are going to be blessed to be able to serve our King. I know other things could enter the picture to modify our plans, but nothing so far.
I am not saying that Father is done teaching us, testing us, and helping us grow through challenges, but at least for right now, things seem to be progressing along in the right path and we will go. Again I say that we are ready to go wherever He wants us to go, and I still feel that there is a certain place that is in need of our testimonies.
Elder Holland said that if we must rest on our swords, that would be OK as long as we get up and fight again and again. I know there will continue to be battles to fight, to learn from, and to show our dedication to this goal and dream. I know there will be speed bumps, difficult mole hills to climb and even a few mountains to move. But I also know that in His strength, in His eyes, all can be overcome and learned from. Thus I proceed forward, ready to tackle anything and continue to progress toward our mission.
It is so nice to know that Father is watching over us, directing us, and waiting upon us to continue in this goal and opportunity to serve. I am excited.
DAY 159 -- Purpose of This Blog
The purpose of this blog is to count down the days until we can go on a mission based on preparation and readiness and such. The purpose of this blog is for me to keep this in mind as we go through the days from June 9, 2011. until June 9, 2012. The purpose of this blog is to keep my on track and progressing in many different goals mentioned in this blog. Another purpose is to let others read it and track our progress also.
THE COUNTDOWN. It has been 206 days ago I started this blog. It was begun on June 9 which was our 39th wedding anniversary. We decided that we were going to do all in our power to be ready to serve as a senior missionaries when we celebrate our 40th year anniversary. Due to Elder Hollands statement quoted on the front of this blog, we set many goals to work on during these 365 days progressing toward our mission call. (I guess it will be 366 days since this year is a leap year.) So we continue to count days until "M" day.
CONSTANT REMINDER. Every day when I sit to record thoughts, write things that Father has revealed to me, and bring into my mind the whole purpose of this blog, I ponder about the ultimate reason, the receiving of a call, and the privilege of going out into the field where it is ready to harvest. I start to get excited and anticipate that glorious day when we will leave this existence, or at least the life we are living now, and go to serve our Savior and our Father full time. What a glorious dream that will be as it is fulfilled.
MANY GOALS. It is interesting how the goals to accomplish before June 9 keep growing, and growing, and growing. (Like the Energizer Bunny.) Almost weekly I realize there are so many things we could be doing, we should be doing to prepare for our mission. A few weeks ago, Bonnie decided that we should study "Preach my Gospel" and thus another goal was born. Perhaps as we get closer and closer to June 9, more and more goals will just keep popping into our minds and our lives.
OTHERS, READERS. I guess another reason of this blog is to let my kids, and a couple of others who read this, or perhaps just my kids, who knows, and only a few of them, read and know my thoughts as we progress toward realizing these dreams and visions. Perhaps there is nothing of value for anyone other than my kids. Either way, it is good to share what passes through my crazy mind if for no other reason than to put things down on paper. Often it is good to just look at what emerges from my mind and then realize it was in my mind. If this is of value to anyone, feel free to use it, delete it, share it, cast stones, laugh at it, or anything else you feel inclined to do with it.
It is good for me to pause every day to do a small "return and report" to my Father as time goes by. It is also good to see the "tender mercies" we experience every day through by working toward these goals and dreams. It is good to know that Father is aware of where we are and what we are trying to accomplish.
Elder Holland initiated this blog with his counsel about dreams and visions and working toward them. SO I guess the ultimate reason for this blog is Elder Holland.
THE COUNTDOWN. It has been 206 days ago I started this blog. It was begun on June 9 which was our 39th wedding anniversary. We decided that we were going to do all in our power to be ready to serve as a senior missionaries when we celebrate our 40th year anniversary. Due to Elder Hollands statement quoted on the front of this blog, we set many goals to work on during these 365 days progressing toward our mission call. (I guess it will be 366 days since this year is a leap year.) So we continue to count days until "M" day.
CONSTANT REMINDER. Every day when I sit to record thoughts, write things that Father has revealed to me, and bring into my mind the whole purpose of this blog, I ponder about the ultimate reason, the receiving of a call, and the privilege of going out into the field where it is ready to harvest. I start to get excited and anticipate that glorious day when we will leave this existence, or at least the life we are living now, and go to serve our Savior and our Father full time. What a glorious dream that will be as it is fulfilled.
MANY GOALS. It is interesting how the goals to accomplish before June 9 keep growing, and growing, and growing. (Like the Energizer Bunny.) Almost weekly I realize there are so many things we could be doing, we should be doing to prepare for our mission. A few weeks ago, Bonnie decided that we should study "Preach my Gospel" and thus another goal was born. Perhaps as we get closer and closer to June 9, more and more goals will just keep popping into our minds and our lives.
OTHERS, READERS. I guess another reason of this blog is to let my kids, and a couple of others who read this, or perhaps just my kids, who knows, and only a few of them, read and know my thoughts as we progress toward realizing these dreams and visions. Perhaps there is nothing of value for anyone other than my kids. Either way, it is good to share what passes through my crazy mind if for no other reason than to put things down on paper. Often it is good to just look at what emerges from my mind and then realize it was in my mind. If this is of value to anyone, feel free to use it, delete it, share it, cast stones, laugh at it, or anything else you feel inclined to do with it.
It is good for me to pause every day to do a small "return and report" to my Father as time goes by. It is also good to see the "tender mercies" we experience every day through by working toward these goals and dreams. It is good to know that Father is aware of where we are and what we are trying to accomplish.
Elder Holland initiated this blog with his counsel about dreams and visions and working toward them. SO I guess the ultimate reason for this blog is Elder Holland.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
DAY 160 -- Another Goal
A new year lies in front of us. What have I done this year? What am I going to do this next year? What Eternal Principles have I learned this year? What trials and blessings will I be earning, learning from this year?
A new year always brings forth a time to pause and reflect, evaluate, plan, and dream. Have I done enough, been compassionate enough? Have I served enough? Have I touched others in uplifting them enough? Did I leave too many things undone that should have been done?
When I think these thoughts, I have a tendency to be very harsh in judging myself. I have a likeliness of wondering why I am not better than I am. I tend to see the need to repent and improve. However...
My loving Father has not given up on me, He knows my heart, He knows what I have been through and He knows the progress I have made better than I do. As I glance upward and ask, "How am I doing Father?" I feel a very comfortable feeling that He is aware of where I am, what we are trying to do, and what is in store for me in the future. I get a feeling that I should not be proud, but I should be comfortable in where I am and what I am. He has a blue print with my name on it and things are progressing along the lines that He dictated, dictates, and is planning for me. It is all for my own benefit.
He knows my heart. He knows my testimony. He knows what potential I have, what I have failed at and what I have learned. He knows my desire to serve a mission and what we are doing to be prepared.
When I internalize these thoughts about my Eternal Father, I realize I need to work on being at peace, exercise faith in His nurturing and His testing of me. My peace and joy needs to increase in these thoughts, and thus I can do more for Him. Rather than be harsh on myself, criticize myself for my weaknesses, I need to be joyful, be excited about tomorrow and celebrate life. Rejoice, the Lord is King and He knows me, loves me, and is on my side.
Thus another goals has popped into my mind. I need to be more joyful and peaceful. Though things are not going exactly as I would plan them, as I would desire them, they are going as He would have them and as He would desire them, for His purposes are for my benefit.
Thus this day as I start a new year. I need to work on being more peaceful, joyful, serviceable, and loving of others. Another goals to work on for five months.
A new year always brings forth a time to pause and reflect, evaluate, plan, and dream. Have I done enough, been compassionate enough? Have I served enough? Have I touched others in uplifting them enough? Did I leave too many things undone that should have been done?
When I think these thoughts, I have a tendency to be very harsh in judging myself. I have a likeliness of wondering why I am not better than I am. I tend to see the need to repent and improve. However...
My loving Father has not given up on me, He knows my heart, He knows what I have been through and He knows the progress I have made better than I do. As I glance upward and ask, "How am I doing Father?" I feel a very comfortable feeling that He is aware of where I am, what we are trying to do, and what is in store for me in the future. I get a feeling that I should not be proud, but I should be comfortable in where I am and what I am. He has a blue print with my name on it and things are progressing along the lines that He dictated, dictates, and is planning for me. It is all for my own benefit.
He knows my heart. He knows my testimony. He knows what potential I have, what I have failed at and what I have learned. He knows my desire to serve a mission and what we are doing to be prepared.
When I internalize these thoughts about my Eternal Father, I realize I need to work on being at peace, exercise faith in His nurturing and His testing of me. My peace and joy needs to increase in these thoughts, and thus I can do more for Him. Rather than be harsh on myself, criticize myself for my weaknesses, I need to be joyful, be excited about tomorrow and celebrate life. Rejoice, the Lord is King and He knows me, loves me, and is on my side.
Thus another goals has popped into my mind. I need to be more joyful and peaceful. Though things are not going exactly as I would plan them, as I would desire them, they are going as He would have them and as He would desire them, for His purposes are for my benefit.
Thus this day as I start a new year. I need to work on being more peaceful, joyful, serviceable, and loving of others. Another goals to work on for five months.
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