Today is the last day of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 tomorrow. It is a time of reflection. Where have I been? What have I done? Is my path leading me toward where I want to go? Am I making progress toward my goals and dreams? And most importantly, is Father pleased with my progress?
I review Elder Hollands statement and question if I am taking "every opportunity" as he counsels. I am more than half way toward my goal of serving with Bonnie. At least I am more than half way using the calendar. Am I half way there in taking every opportunity to prepare for our mission using the calendar. Am I half way in preparation?
We just finished the Book of Mormon and I am excited to begin anew, "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents..." Bonnie suggested in the next six months rather just read the Book of Mormon again, we should add reading and studying together "Preach My Gospel." Since most things are in storage, we will have to do some searches, but that too is a great new goal to work on this next 161 days. (The goal to find it and the goal to read it...)
Are we learning, growing, and progressing toward a mission call? What more can we do? What more can I do? What new goals should I adopt for the next five months?
I can work on having the Holy Ghost more in my life, feeling that sweet Spirit directing me daily. I can exercise more faith in Father in being aware of what is going on in my life and watching over me. I can study the Atonement in diligence to understand it better. I can be more of an example of Faith, Hope, and Charity, showing forth compassion to all, even strangers. Most importantly, I can be more true to who I am in words, actions, and in thoughts.
Taking a few moments during these few days as we enter a new year is a great idea. Take a few moments and evaluate whether my Father is pleased with me or is wishing I would be more diligent in convenants, commandments, and going the extra mile in many aspects of life.
Who am I? Where am I? And what am I? Elder Holland there are still mountains to climb and visions to see and dreams to dream. Time to get moving at a faster pace, for the time is rapidly moving along toward our mission. It will be here before long and I will be shocked how fast we arrived at June 9.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
DAY 162 -- My Mother ..... and Mother
Mom died three days after that ugly 9-11 event ten years ago. For a time before she died, after serving in the Timp Temple in the Baptistery, I went up to Sandy and had lunch with her every Thursday. We created wonderful memories, remembering growing up years, remembering dad, and many things. Now those special days are only memories for me. She was a wonderful mother and taught me most of what I know. She was definitely a great influence in my life.
Fathers teach often by saying nothing, but mothers are most often with us through our learning, formative years. Thank goodness for mothers. I remember one time when I was 18 years old, preparing for a mission. I had a girl I was fond of and she was sitting next to me in sacrament meeting. I held her hand and we did as young kids do.
Mother had a "concerned meeting" with me late that night. She said she was concerned because of my actions toward this girl. She was concerned that I would never serve a mission. Needless to say I was crushed. I worried, and because of my feelings toward my mother, I was really considering never seeing her, no not my mother, the girl, again. The next day, I went to talk to my father. I told him the whole scenario and told him I thought mother was over reacting. After I was done telling him everything, I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine and said nothing, just smiled. It relieved the pressure, the worry, and the concern I had and I realized that all was well. He taught me a boatload of things without saying anything. (Now there were countless other times when he did not lack for words in his teaching.)
Getting back to mother. In "O My Father" the famous hymn that I have not sung for a million or so seconds, it proposes that we do have a Mother in Heaven. Knowing the feelings I have for my earthly mother and she has for me, I multiply that by a gazillion and try to imagine my Mother in Heaven. When I ponder about Her, I feel peace, comfort, and know there is a Mother who loves me and knows me as much as my Father in Heaven. I try to imagine what She looks like, Her compassion, and the relationship we once had, and we will have again, and I feel a loss, a desire to be caressed by Her once again. In fact as I think about Her, and what She must be, I get tears in my eyes. She must be all things pure, beautiful and loving. I miss her. A few times when I have been pondering about my Mother in Heaven, I have felt a thinning of the veil separating us. She is there, aware of me, supporting me, and loving me. I would assume it is hard for Her in this temporary separation, also.
I miss my Mother, and my mother, both of them. I love them both. Because of my age, I know I am closer to seeing them again than the many years since leaving Mother in Heaven. That gives some comfort, but not much. I know She is not far away from Her children, that includes me.
Fathers teach often by saying nothing, but mothers are most often with us through our learning, formative years. Thank goodness for mothers. I remember one time when I was 18 years old, preparing for a mission. I had a girl I was fond of and she was sitting next to me in sacrament meeting. I held her hand and we did as young kids do.
Mother had a "concerned meeting" with me late that night. She said she was concerned because of my actions toward this girl. She was concerned that I would never serve a mission. Needless to say I was crushed. I worried, and because of my feelings toward my mother, I was really considering never seeing her, no not my mother, the girl, again. The next day, I went to talk to my father. I told him the whole scenario and told him I thought mother was over reacting. After I was done telling him everything, I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine and said nothing, just smiled. It relieved the pressure, the worry, and the concern I had and I realized that all was well. He taught me a boatload of things without saying anything. (Now there were countless other times when he did not lack for words in his teaching.)
Getting back to mother. In "O My Father" the famous hymn that I have not sung for a million or so seconds, it proposes that we do have a Mother in Heaven. Knowing the feelings I have for my earthly mother and she has for me, I multiply that by a gazillion and try to imagine my Mother in Heaven. When I ponder about Her, I feel peace, comfort, and know there is a Mother who loves me and knows me as much as my Father in Heaven. I try to imagine what She looks like, Her compassion, and the relationship we once had, and we will have again, and I feel a loss, a desire to be caressed by Her once again. In fact as I think about Her, and what She must be, I get tears in my eyes. She must be all things pure, beautiful and loving. I miss her. A few times when I have been pondering about my Mother in Heaven, I have felt a thinning of the veil separating us. She is there, aware of me, supporting me, and loving me. I would assume it is hard for Her in this temporary separation, also.
I miss my Mother, and my mother, both of them. I love them both. Because of my age, I know I am closer to seeing them again than the many years since leaving Mother in Heaven. That gives some comfort, but not much. I know She is not far away from Her children, that includes me.
DAY 163 -- Father Knows Best
I miss my father. He died in 1999 of cancer. But I also miss my Father in Heaven. My fathers gave me life. They both were influential in who I am, my name, my personality, my dreams and visions.
My earthly father will end up being my brother after this life. I owe so much to him for the training, the upbringing, the teaching, the setting a good example, the insights into the gospel and so many other things. So many people ask me if I am his son. I am proud to say yes I am.
I miss my Eternal Father also. I don't "remember" His tender nurturing and understanding, but I can feel His interest in my life and what I do. I know He is the author of paths I trod, and the lessons I am learning. I know He has so many blessings in store for me one day. I know He is on my side through thick and thin.
Knowing that He is aware of and interested in me and what is happening to me, gives me great comfort. I know there are reasons for all things that happen.
One day not long ago, I was getting ready to go to work, and some unforeseen happenings happened. I don't even remember what they were, but they delayed me from leaving for work. Of course since I am a "be on time" freak, I was disturbed. I pride myself in being on time.
Then I "felt" a message from my Eternal Father. (He uses the Holy Ghost, whispers to my mind, and even ideas that pop into my musty, cluttered mind of mine.) This message hit me hard and there was no chance to misinterpret the message. It said in essence, "Quit being so disturbed and out of sorts. Things happen for a reason. You are being delayed going to work because I want you delayed. You may not ever find out the reason, but there are reasons, so buck up and quit worrying about YOUR timing." (No the Spirit didn't say that exactly, it wouldn't say BUCK UP, but that was the message, I promise.)
I went to work and never did know why. But I knew that there were reasons why I was delayed that day. So if I can remember this lesson, there are reasons behind even the smallest things. Neal Maxwell often preached that if we knew how involved He is in our lives, we would be totally surprised. ...Even when small insignificant things happen...
Father knows best. I must always remember that things happen for a reason. In 2 Nephi 2:24, "...all things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things." ...even me getting to work late one day.
My earthly father will end up being my brother after this life. I owe so much to him for the training, the upbringing, the teaching, the setting a good example, the insights into the gospel and so many other things. So many people ask me if I am his son. I am proud to say yes I am.
I miss my Eternal Father also. I don't "remember" His tender nurturing and understanding, but I can feel His interest in my life and what I do. I know He is the author of paths I trod, and the lessons I am learning. I know He has so many blessings in store for me one day. I know He is on my side through thick and thin.
Knowing that He is aware of and interested in me and what is happening to me, gives me great comfort. I know there are reasons for all things that happen.
One day not long ago, I was getting ready to go to work, and some unforeseen happenings happened. I don't even remember what they were, but they delayed me from leaving for work. Of course since I am a "be on time" freak, I was disturbed. I pride myself in being on time.
Then I "felt" a message from my Eternal Father. (He uses the Holy Ghost, whispers to my mind, and even ideas that pop into my musty, cluttered mind of mine.) This message hit me hard and there was no chance to misinterpret the message. It said in essence, "Quit being so disturbed and out of sorts. Things happen for a reason. You are being delayed going to work because I want you delayed. You may not ever find out the reason, but there are reasons, so buck up and quit worrying about YOUR timing." (No the Spirit didn't say that exactly, it wouldn't say BUCK UP, but that was the message, I promise.)
I went to work and never did know why. But I knew that there were reasons why I was delayed that day. So if I can remember this lesson, there are reasons behind even the smallest things. Neal Maxwell often preached that if we knew how involved He is in our lives, we would be totally surprised. ...Even when small insignificant things happen...
Father knows best. I must always remember that things happen for a reason. In 2 Nephi 2:24, "...all things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things." ...even me getting to work late one day.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
DAY 164 -- New Beginnings
New Years Day, Eve, Celebration, all these things give me pause this morning. On the one hand it is a time to start new. On the other hand it is a time to renew goals and dreams. It is a time to pause and evaluate where we are and question if we want to be where we are, and if there needs to be changes made. Or it could be a time to rededicate our life to a past goal or dream. It is a time of new beginnings.
In my case, it is a case of all of the above. In a few days we will start the year 2012. It is the year when the world is supposed to end. I heard that it was prophesied by one who was correct in other predictions. So I guess we should all get our lives in order since the world will end, at least as we know it. When Christ comes, the wicked will be burned and this world will go through a big change. I guess that is what this prognosticator "guessed." The scriptures say that no one knows the day, the hour of His coming. I guess we will wait and see, in December, right?
Back to beginnings.... There are a few goals I have set that I need to be more diligent in working towards. There are a few goals that I need to lengthen my stride towards. There are a few others that will need to be modified. There are even new ones I am setting today that I need to work on. I am sure there will come newer ones as we get into 2012.
For me, it is a good time to look at where I am, where I should be, and review my progress toward the master goal of serving a mission in about five months. It is a time to analyze those goals I have set and evaluate the progress toward them, or lack of progress toward them. It is a time of reflection, of pausing, of pondering, and of evaluating my destination of each goal.
So, often rather than be a new beginning, it should be a time of assessment and evaluation. January 2012. I will spend the next few days before the year change to evaluate my path and make changes where I need to. I plead for the Holy Ghost to be with me as I do so, so I can do according to the wants and purposes of Father.
In my case, it is a case of all of the above. In a few days we will start the year 2012. It is the year when the world is supposed to end. I heard that it was prophesied by one who was correct in other predictions. So I guess we should all get our lives in order since the world will end, at least as we know it. When Christ comes, the wicked will be burned and this world will go through a big change. I guess that is what this prognosticator "guessed." The scriptures say that no one knows the day, the hour of His coming. I guess we will wait and see, in December, right?
Back to beginnings.... There are a few goals I have set that I need to be more diligent in working towards. There are a few goals that I need to lengthen my stride towards. There are a few others that will need to be modified. There are even new ones I am setting today that I need to work on. I am sure there will come newer ones as we get into 2012.
For me, it is a good time to look at where I am, where I should be, and review my progress toward the master goal of serving a mission in about five months. It is a time to analyze those goals I have set and evaluate the progress toward them, or lack of progress toward them. It is a time of reflection, of pausing, of pondering, and of evaluating my destination of each goal.
So, often rather than be a new beginning, it should be a time of assessment and evaluation. January 2012. I will spend the next few days before the year change to evaluate my path and make changes where I need to. I plead for the Holy Ghost to be with me as I do so, so I can do according to the wants and purposes of Father.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
DAY 165 -- Mercy of Christ
Christ is on my mind these days. I guess that is because we just spend about four months singing Christmas music, we just had a beautiful program right after we partook of the sacrament, we watched a few Christmas programs on the video, we just tried to show our love for so many with small tokens of our love through gifts, and we are reading the Book of Mormon, finishing it again on December 31 to start again.
Christ is dwelling in my mind. It is hard to fathom how much He must love each one of us as we remember His birth, and also covenant to remember Him as we remember the atonement. When I start to think of my mis-deeds, the weakness of my soul, and as Nephi said, "Oh wretched man that I am, .... the sins that do so easily beset me.." I can't help but feel gratitude in my heart, but pained to know that I caused Him pain due to my weaknesses.
Without His mercy, His love, and His understanding of each of us, we would all be doomed. None of us would return to our Father again. Hope would be totally gone. Oh how grateful I am for His all knowing and acceptance of us in all phases of our life.
I am so grateful for the scriptures in Alma 41 where it promises that we will be judged upon the desires of our heart. He knows my heart. He knows yours, and every one's. He can't ignore painful mistakes, but He continues to love us and support us. How wonderful it is to each of us.
This directly ties in with our mission because we will be helping teach this concept to strangers. I am so excited about going on a mission in about FIVE months. All proceeds as planned, but I must do many things to be ready.
Christ is dwelling in my mind. It is hard to fathom how much He must love each one of us as we remember His birth, and also covenant to remember Him as we remember the atonement. When I start to think of my mis-deeds, the weakness of my soul, and as Nephi said, "Oh wretched man that I am, .... the sins that do so easily beset me.." I can't help but feel gratitude in my heart, but pained to know that I caused Him pain due to my weaknesses.
Without His mercy, His love, and His understanding of each of us, we would all be doomed. None of us would return to our Father again. Hope would be totally gone. Oh how grateful I am for His all knowing and acceptance of us in all phases of our life.
I am so grateful for the scriptures in Alma 41 where it promises that we will be judged upon the desires of our heart. He knows my heart. He knows yours, and every one's. He can't ignore painful mistakes, but He continues to love us and support us. How wonderful it is to each of us.
This directly ties in with our mission because we will be helping teach this concept to strangers. I am so excited about going on a mission in about FIVE months. All proceeds as planned, but I must do many things to be ready.
Monday, December 26, 2011
DAY 166 -- Merry Christmas
Well, it is over for another year. But what a beautiful celebration, gathering around beloved ones, sharing the sacrament and music with those in our ward family, gaining about 50 pounds, and eating pumpkin pie. I long for my mother's fruit cake. There are so many jokes about fruitcakes that I hesitate to go there, but I loved her fruit cake. She has been gone for about 10 years and thus my longing will continue.
I didn't remember, but could have remembered that time when many of us sang at Christ's birth. One of the most important days in the history of this world, His birth, I am sure we were there and many singing. . I am sure most of us were there singing praises to Christ in His birth, because that birth touches the lives of every mortal who has ever lived on this earth, or will. I am just as sure we were there as I am sure we will all be either singing or doing something when He comes for His second advent on earth. That event will be another of the greatest events involving this earth.
There is so much beautiful, inspiring, uplifting music now, I wonder if there is more beautiful music being created even now for that glorious Second Coming. I know the Church is doing many things these days and these years in preparation for the Second Coming. I wonder about the music. (Bonnie and I have been involved in singing and praising Christ this whole month of December, thus music is on my mind.)
Today is the second largest shopping day of the year. I wonder if people will continue in the Christmas Spirit during their battles, their fighting with others, their fighting for parking spots, as they hurry and hustle and bustle in this continued season of "getting." Bonnie and I sang one song with a phrase, "Keep the light of Christmas shining in you." It was a wonderful one. But it is also a challenge when others don't seem to remember the reason for the season we just went through.
Decorated trees are still sitting in the room, lights are still on the house, gifts are still being broken and not fitting and even not wanted, batteries are being purchased, etc. Leftovers are sitting in the refrigerator screaming, "Eat Me." Sweets are also fighting for the attention that so many other things are getting, like the nut bowl, the turkey, ham, and hot dogs.
I loved the season. I felt a bit melancholy since we shall be somewhere else next Christmas if all goes as planned. The memories we created through the last little while will have to suffice as we create other memories with those who are strangers to us now. But we are so excited, days drawing closer, and excitement hard to contain. Merry Christmas
I didn't remember, but could have remembered that time when many of us sang at Christ's birth. One of the most important days in the history of this world, His birth, I am sure we were there and many singing. . I am sure most of us were there singing praises to Christ in His birth, because that birth touches the lives of every mortal who has ever lived on this earth, or will. I am just as sure we were there as I am sure we will all be either singing or doing something when He comes for His second advent on earth. That event will be another of the greatest events involving this earth.
There is so much beautiful, inspiring, uplifting music now, I wonder if there is more beautiful music being created even now for that glorious Second Coming. I know the Church is doing many things these days and these years in preparation for the Second Coming. I wonder about the music. (Bonnie and I have been involved in singing and praising Christ this whole month of December, thus music is on my mind.)
Today is the second largest shopping day of the year. I wonder if people will continue in the Christmas Spirit during their battles, their fighting with others, their fighting for parking spots, as they hurry and hustle and bustle in this continued season of "getting." Bonnie and I sang one song with a phrase, "Keep the light of Christmas shining in you." It was a wonderful one. But it is also a challenge when others don't seem to remember the reason for the season we just went through.
Decorated trees are still sitting in the room, lights are still on the house, gifts are still being broken and not fitting and even not wanted, batteries are being purchased, etc. Leftovers are sitting in the refrigerator screaming, "Eat Me." Sweets are also fighting for the attention that so many other things are getting, like the nut bowl, the turkey, ham, and hot dogs.
I loved the season. I felt a bit melancholy since we shall be somewhere else next Christmas if all goes as planned. The memories we created through the last little while will have to suffice as we create other memories with those who are strangers to us now. But we are so excited, days drawing closer, and excitement hard to contain. Merry Christmas
Saturday, December 24, 2011
DAY 168 -- Continuing
It seems like Christmas is carrying on this year for many days. With it being on Sunday, it is a super day to dedicate to the reason for the Season, even Jesus Christ. Many started partying on Thursday, continued last night, will continue tonight and even then tomorrow. It is a four day Christmas. Wonderful.
I would assume those who enjoy drinking the beverage that lets one forget who they are, where they are , and what they are.... would thoroughly enjoy this four day celebration. Whether you drink or not it is a time to totally celebrate with beloved ones.
We continue today celebrating. Last night Bon and I were privileged to sing in the Assembly Hall on Temple Square. What a joy, to a packed house. The sound were ringing through the rafters and beyond. With a hundred voice choir, it was a joy. I still have those hymns going through my mind. No, not the hymns we sing weekly, but hymns to Him that we sang.
I feel so blessed to consider my family, extended, but also my immediate family. Yesterday we heard of two more grand children that are in the oven, but we must wait a few months, like six or seven to see them brought forth. Whether they wrap them in swaddling clothes we will have to wait and see. I mean if they are born in July, it will be sort of warm and no need, right?
Don't know if I will continue on this blog tomorrow, on Christmas Day or not, but if not, please be aware that I wish you, whoever you are, readers of this word, the greatest of Christmases. Whether or not you realize that or not is totally dependant upon you, how you celebrate, what extra miles you go, how you treat the season, and others. I know it means me too, and I have much to do to make this a great season.
There are always problems present when we pause to celebrate or commemorate a certain event, but the challenge is ridding ourselves of constant thinking of our trials and think of our blessings and the reason of this season. If we do, always remembering Him, then this should be a great Holiday Season.
I love my Savior. I am nothing without Him. There would be no goals, no mission, no life without Him. There would be no Hope for tomorrow. They would be no reason to carry on, carry on, carry on. Mostly on this Christmas Eve Day, I would like Jesus Christ to know that William N Partridge loves Him and appreciates all the blessings flowing into my life because of His life, that would also include birth, death and resurrection. Merry Christmas!! You make it a good one, for the Spirit is always there to compliment it.
I would assume those who enjoy drinking the beverage that lets one forget who they are, where they are , and what they are.... would thoroughly enjoy this four day celebration. Whether you drink or not it is a time to totally celebrate with beloved ones.
We continue today celebrating. Last night Bon and I were privileged to sing in the Assembly Hall on Temple Square. What a joy, to a packed house. The sound were ringing through the rafters and beyond. With a hundred voice choir, it was a joy. I still have those hymns going through my mind. No, not the hymns we sing weekly, but hymns to Him that we sang.
I feel so blessed to consider my family, extended, but also my immediate family. Yesterday we heard of two more grand children that are in the oven, but we must wait a few months, like six or seven to see them brought forth. Whether they wrap them in swaddling clothes we will have to wait and see. I mean if they are born in July, it will be sort of warm and no need, right?
Don't know if I will continue on this blog tomorrow, on Christmas Day or not, but if not, please be aware that I wish you, whoever you are, readers of this word, the greatest of Christmases. Whether or not you realize that or not is totally dependant upon you, how you celebrate, what extra miles you go, how you treat the season, and others. I know it means me too, and I have much to do to make this a great season.
There are always problems present when we pause to celebrate or commemorate a certain event, but the challenge is ridding ourselves of constant thinking of our trials and think of our blessings and the reason of this season. If we do, always remembering Him, then this should be a great Holiday Season.
I love my Savior. I am nothing without Him. There would be no goals, no mission, no life without Him. There would be no Hope for tomorrow. They would be no reason to carry on, carry on, carry on. Mostly on this Christmas Eve Day, I would like Jesus Christ to know that William N Partridge loves Him and appreciates all the blessings flowing into my life because of His life, that would also include birth, death and resurrection. Merry Christmas!! You make it a good one, for the Spirit is always there to compliment it.
Friday, December 23, 2011
SAY 169 -- Tis the Seaon for ..............
So many things on my mind today. We spent last night with family. What a joy. Of course they weren't all there. But those who were there enjoyed good food, lots of it, and fellowship of each other. My nephew reminded us all that today is Joseph Smith's birthday. So we sang Praise to the Man. As I was singing it, I again felt a strong desire to sit one day and just discuss with him his life, his visions, and his challenges he learned from, and how he loved my two direct ancestors with him, William Clayton and Edward Partridge. I am sure he could give me great insight into those two ...grandfathers.
I also have been pondering about Father in Heaven. When I paused last night, I enjoyed seeing my grand kids interact with each other, eat together, play with each other, and thoroughly being together. It was a joy to this grand father. I thought that our Eternal Father also thoroughly enjoys seeing His children get together and enjoy each other, overeat, and play together. He feels peace and joy as we serve each other, enjoy each other, and praise each other.
Then my mind shifts to that glorious day when we shall all be together as brothers and sisters either in the millennium and/or after this life in other realms, enjoying each other again after the veil is gone. What a joyous reunion we shall enjoy there, with Father and Mother in Heaven, our Savior, and think of the glorious pumpkin pie we shall eat, and we may even enjoy fruit cake, with eternal fruit?
I have "No Man Is An Island" going through my mind, "The Slave is my Brother" and countless others passing through my great mind and giving me pause, comfort, and joy. "We love one another, so I will defend each man as my brother, each man as my friend..."
What a joyous time of year to pause, remember Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, our own family and even extended family and those who have gone on before, laying the foundation of many of the blessings and comforts we enjoy today. We celebrate by eating, gathering together, singing joyous songs, serving one another, playing, decorating trees, and even singing together.
I love this season. I must serve more, love more, and open myself to the joy that's floating around asking for a place to stay in my heart. All I have to do is open a place for that joy and I shall feel it. I seek "fullness" of joy one day.
I also have been pondering about Father in Heaven. When I paused last night, I enjoyed seeing my grand kids interact with each other, eat together, play with each other, and thoroughly being together. It was a joy to this grand father. I thought that our Eternal Father also thoroughly enjoys seeing His children get together and enjoy each other, overeat, and play together. He feels peace and joy as we serve each other, enjoy each other, and praise each other.
Then my mind shifts to that glorious day when we shall all be together as brothers and sisters either in the millennium and/or after this life in other realms, enjoying each other again after the veil is gone. What a joyous reunion we shall enjoy there, with Father and Mother in Heaven, our Savior, and think of the glorious pumpkin pie we shall eat, and we may even enjoy fruit cake, with eternal fruit?
I have "No Man Is An Island" going through my mind, "The Slave is my Brother" and countless others passing through my great mind and giving me pause, comfort, and joy. "We love one another, so I will defend each man as my brother, each man as my friend..."
What a joyous time of year to pause, remember Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, our own family and even extended family and those who have gone on before, laying the foundation of many of the blessings and comforts we enjoy today. We celebrate by eating, gathering together, singing joyous songs, serving one another, playing, decorating trees, and even singing together.
I love this season. I must serve more, love more, and open myself to the joy that's floating around asking for a place to stay in my heart. All I have to do is open a place for that joy and I shall feel it. I seek "fullness" of joy one day.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
DAY 170 --- JUST DO IT
I am borrowing the logo from Nike. Just do it. When Nephi was returning to Jerusalem after almost being killed by the servants of Laban, he didn't know how he was going to obtain the plates, he just knew he was. When Enoch was told to preach to his city, he didn't know how, but he had them all translated. When Moses was told to free the Children of Israel, he didn't know how, he just went and did it. When Joseph was told to open this dispensation and translate the plates, he didn't know how, he just did it. When Jared and his brother were told to cross the deep, they didn't know how, they just did it.
When Bonnie and I felt the inspiration to prepare and go on a mission, we still don't know how, but we are doing it. Each of the examples above coupled with hundreds of others in the scriptures and probably thousands of others in other scriptures we don't have, and even hundreds of others in this day and age, shows that often faith is required, and a willing mind and heart.
Well, we have a willing mind and heart. We also have faith that it will indeed happen in 170 days, or around that time. This morning I read that we need to approach Father with full purpose of heart and let Him do the rest. We are striving to do it. ....we are doing it, my genealogy... Sorry that just popped into my mind.
I guess the prophets above and many others who have gone through this put their whole heart into their dream, their commandment, their purpose. I hope we are doing so also. Yesterday's blog could have been seen as one without faith, without full purpose of heart. No, that is just one thing, one miracle that the Lord has to take care of so we can obtain the plates, so we can build a ship as Noah did, etc.
At this season of Christmas, what a wonderful time to give Christ our full heart, our total faith and confidence, proceeding toward June 9, 2012, not knowing before hand what we should do. Just plugging along, resting upon His ability to help us rescue the children of Israel.
Through the many trips to Wal-Mart, and the trips "out" for "things", I love this season. For me it is a time to worship Christ, his coming to earth for our sake and His all loving concern for each of us. More on that in the days to come. Have a Merry Birthday Celebration of our Savior.
When Bonnie and I felt the inspiration to prepare and go on a mission, we still don't know how, but we are doing it. Each of the examples above coupled with hundreds of others in the scriptures and probably thousands of others in other scriptures we don't have, and even hundreds of others in this day and age, shows that often faith is required, and a willing mind and heart.
Well, we have a willing mind and heart. We also have faith that it will indeed happen in 170 days, or around that time. This morning I read that we need to approach Father with full purpose of heart and let Him do the rest. We are striving to do it. ....we are doing it, my genealogy... Sorry that just popped into my mind.
I guess the prophets above and many others who have gone through this put their whole heart into their dream, their commandment, their purpose. I hope we are doing so also. Yesterday's blog could have been seen as one without faith, without full purpose of heart. No, that is just one thing, one miracle that the Lord has to take care of so we can obtain the plates, so we can build a ship as Noah did, etc.
At this season of Christmas, what a wonderful time to give Christ our full heart, our total faith and confidence, proceeding toward June 9, 2012, not knowing before hand what we should do. Just plugging along, resting upon His ability to help us rescue the children of Israel.
Through the many trips to Wal-Mart, and the trips "out" for "things", I love this season. For me it is a time to worship Christ, his coming to earth for our sake and His all loving concern for each of us. More on that in the days to come. Have a Merry Birthday Celebration of our Savior.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
DAY 171 -- Sixteen Small Stones, Where Are They?
Mahonri Moriancumer-the brother of Jared, I read about him this morning. I feel like I have a boat and I am traveling to the promised land, but I am going in darkness. I feel like when he asked the Lord if they had to cross the seas in darkness. The Lord said, (paraphrasing) "what is it that ye would have me do?"
Yes, we are working toward our mission. Yes we have set many goals to get there, and yes we are on track to arrive at the destination in June, when we will celebrate our 40th year together. I have shared in this blog many times the reasons we want to serve. We are going to go in June, or around that time. We are making progress on each goal we have set, except the goal to have the money to serve. The debt that we absorbed because of the economy when we left our previous job will finally be paid off and we will be debt free.
But often when someone goes on a mission, they should have some money to pay their way. We have supported five of our six kids on missions, I am sure they would love to help. I am sure our grand kids will be glad to be involved also. There are a few others who have volunteered to help also. However, I still do not know how I will pay for our mission. I still have the dream to go to the bishop and say to him that we will serve wherever the Lord wants us to go with no restrictions. Perhaps money would be deemed a restriction? We go, we say to our bishop we want to go, and then say, we have no money. Sounds sort of foolish right?
Well, let's get back to the Jaredites. The brother of Jared asked if they were going to be forced to travel on the waters to the promised land in darkness. Then the Lord said, 'What do you want me to do?'
I feel like we are proceeding toward the promised land, but without lights, without money. If He wants us to continue in our journey toward June in darkness, without knowing, we will be glad to do so. But if He would like to enlighten us with light, a way to pay for our mission, we would be appreciative.
In the Brother of Jared's prayer, he said, (again paraphrasing) "...I know You can do this, touch these stones..." He did, and He did. I know Father has the power to help us go, to have sufficient for our needs as we serve a mission, and I know He wants us to go. Maybe I need to go and create a few stones?
Again, I will leave it in His hands, but perhaps I have not done enough to tell Father what we need so we can have the desired light to get to the "promised land" or our mission call. Maybe my faith is not sufficient? And maybe there are lessons to be learned traversing the oceans in darkness? If that be the case, we will do so and learn. If anyone has some crystal clear stones, please let me know, will you. ;)
Yes, we are working toward our mission. Yes we have set many goals to get there, and yes we are on track to arrive at the destination in June, when we will celebrate our 40th year together. I have shared in this blog many times the reasons we want to serve. We are going to go in June, or around that time. We are making progress on each goal we have set, except the goal to have the money to serve. The debt that we absorbed because of the economy when we left our previous job will finally be paid off and we will be debt free.
But often when someone goes on a mission, they should have some money to pay their way. We have supported five of our six kids on missions, I am sure they would love to help. I am sure our grand kids will be glad to be involved also. There are a few others who have volunteered to help also. However, I still do not know how I will pay for our mission. I still have the dream to go to the bishop and say to him that we will serve wherever the Lord wants us to go with no restrictions. Perhaps money would be deemed a restriction? We go, we say to our bishop we want to go, and then say, we have no money. Sounds sort of foolish right?
Well, let's get back to the Jaredites. The brother of Jared asked if they were going to be forced to travel on the waters to the promised land in darkness. Then the Lord said, 'What do you want me to do?'
I feel like we are proceeding toward the promised land, but without lights, without money. If He wants us to continue in our journey toward June in darkness, without knowing, we will be glad to do so. But if He would like to enlighten us with light, a way to pay for our mission, we would be appreciative.
In the Brother of Jared's prayer, he said, (again paraphrasing) "...I know You can do this, touch these stones..." He did, and He did. I know Father has the power to help us go, to have sufficient for our needs as we serve a mission, and I know He wants us to go. Maybe I need to go and create a few stones?
Again, I will leave it in His hands, but perhaps I have not done enough to tell Father what we need so we can have the desired light to get to the "promised land" or our mission call. Maybe my faith is not sufficient? And maybe there are lessons to be learned traversing the oceans in darkness? If that be the case, we will do so and learn. If anyone has some crystal clear stones, please let me know, will you. ;)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
DAY 172 -- Sadness or Joy?????
I really don't want to make this sad, especially at this time of year, but the Spirit so directed.
The closer we get to Christmas, the more I feel HIS spirit in my heart. We are preparing for our mission in June 2012, and this goal or dream necessitates certain conditions that are not for us as they have been in the past. (nice way to put it isn't it?) No need to go into that here, but no matter what they be, I feel His Spirit entering my heart more and more each day. Part of this may be because Bonnie and I get to perform at the Assembly Hall on Friday night this week. We get to sing praises to our Savior and thus that Spirit is coming into my heart. Plus, if you try to feel the reason for the season, I feel it will come.
But as I sit here and consider all the blessings I have, the Gospel Doctrine lesson on Sunday, the reason of gifts, and watching my wife and her excitement as she presents some of our grand kids gifts, it gives me great joy. Then I am reminded that many, many people think this is the season of depression. Some I know thoroughly hate Christmas. There are those who are grumpy and scroogie (is that a word) (if it isn't, you still know what I am trying to say, right?) throughout the season. Many let circumstances, trials, challenges, and loneliness get in the way of feeling joy this season.
As I think of those who I know do not like Christmas, and others who may feel the same way about this season, I can't help but ponder what I might be able to do to lighten their burden, put a smile on their face, get them to see they are loved, and perhaps help them feel the Spirit that is surrounding me these days.
Yes, of course it is a time to be around families, enjoy the season of gaining a few pounds, singing a few carols, and then lamenting the time we will have to work to get those pounds off. But perhaps it is also a time to seek out those others who do not have (or at least they think this way) any reason to celebrate Christ's birth.
In a Christmas past, we invited a sister to enjoy a bit of our holiday celebration. She shared with me that she had not talked to her brother, nor anyone in her family for over five years. She did not have any place to go to enjoy the season. There are many in this frame of mind, I am sorry to say. And because the world is celebrating, that makes their lot in life harder and lonelier I would suggest.
It is the season to be joyful, and perhaps we could be more joyful, at least I could be if I spend some time thinking about, and then doing something to help someone else enjoy this season. I shall try to do that.
The closer we get to Christmas, the more I feel HIS spirit in my heart. We are preparing for our mission in June 2012, and this goal or dream necessitates certain conditions that are not for us as they have been in the past. (nice way to put it isn't it?) No need to go into that here, but no matter what they be, I feel His Spirit entering my heart more and more each day. Part of this may be because Bonnie and I get to perform at the Assembly Hall on Friday night this week. We get to sing praises to our Savior and thus that Spirit is coming into my heart. Plus, if you try to feel the reason for the season, I feel it will come.
But as I sit here and consider all the blessings I have, the Gospel Doctrine lesson on Sunday, the reason of gifts, and watching my wife and her excitement as she presents some of our grand kids gifts, it gives me great joy. Then I am reminded that many, many people think this is the season of depression. Some I know thoroughly hate Christmas. There are those who are grumpy and scroogie (is that a word) (if it isn't, you still know what I am trying to say, right?) throughout the season. Many let circumstances, trials, challenges, and loneliness get in the way of feeling joy this season.
As I think of those who I know do not like Christmas, and others who may feel the same way about this season, I can't help but ponder what I might be able to do to lighten their burden, put a smile on their face, get them to see they are loved, and perhaps help them feel the Spirit that is surrounding me these days.
Yes, of course it is a time to be around families, enjoy the season of gaining a few pounds, singing a few carols, and then lamenting the time we will have to work to get those pounds off. But perhaps it is also a time to seek out those others who do not have (or at least they think this way) any reason to celebrate Christ's birth.
In a Christmas past, we invited a sister to enjoy a bit of our holiday celebration. She shared with me that she had not talked to her brother, nor anyone in her family for over five years. She did not have any place to go to enjoy the season. There are many in this frame of mind, I am sorry to say. And because the world is celebrating, that makes their lot in life harder and lonelier I would suggest.
It is the season to be joyful, and perhaps we could be more joyful, at least I could be if I spend some time thinking about, and then doing something to help someone else enjoy this season. I shall try to do that.
Monday, December 19, 2011
DAY 173 -- Added Reasons of the Desire to Go
What a special day it was yesterday at Church. We talked about the Savior, I heard one of my favorite Christmas carols, "O Holy Night" sung by a ward member, and had lots of time to ponder about the season.
As I pondered, I thought about this blog I do daily. Once my boss asked me why wanted to go on a mission. I told him I just wanted to serve, I love missionary work, and I am looking forward to serving with my companion. But after yesterday, I want to add a few more answers to the question, "Why a mission?"
Ringing in my mind is the discourse Elder Holland gave in Priesthood Meeting in October, pleading for more Senior Missionaries. Since he has always been a favorite of mine and since I can also recall the Prophet asking for more Senior Missionaries, I guess you could say that wanting to serve a mission would be an act of obedience.
Another reason is what I was reminded of yesterday in Gospel Doctrine class. We talked about the Savior and the atonement and how it influences our lives. I paused and pondered his actions, the events surrounding the atonement, and then felt a bit teary eyed. I cannot realize my fondest dream of the Celestial Kingdom with those I love without His Atonement. He did it for me. He had pain for my weaknesses. He suffered because I am a sinner. So, I feel serving a mission may, in a tiny way, help to repay my Savior for the many things He has done for me.
The feelings of joy is another reason I want to serve with Bonnie. I remember fondly the joy I felt as I saw people entering the waters of baptism in Mexico long ago. I tenderly recall the feelings of joy as I have the opportunity of serving in the Kingdom. I remember teaching my children the joys of service and now all of them know of what I speak. Joy comes from sacrificing, and what better sacrifice than to sacrifice for my Savior and my Father. Joy brings it's own reward, and I guess I am selfish when I desire that feeling surrounding me.
One last reason for wanting to serve a mission is getting to know brothers and sisters I do not know now. I may have known them efore, probably did know them before this life and this will be a sort of reunion meeting them again in this mortality.
I find it scary thinking about a mission, for the exact way to be able to serve is not clear to me as yet. I am afraid I will get excited to the point of celebrating and then have that opportunity be withheld from us for a time. Thus I cautiously look forward to serving as a missionary in the coming months for many reasons. Bottom line is I believe Father wants us both to serve a mission in about 173 days.
As I pondered, I thought about this blog I do daily. Once my boss asked me why wanted to go on a mission. I told him I just wanted to serve, I love missionary work, and I am looking forward to serving with my companion. But after yesterday, I want to add a few more answers to the question, "Why a mission?"
Ringing in my mind is the discourse Elder Holland gave in Priesthood Meeting in October, pleading for more Senior Missionaries. Since he has always been a favorite of mine and since I can also recall the Prophet asking for more Senior Missionaries, I guess you could say that wanting to serve a mission would be an act of obedience.
Another reason is what I was reminded of yesterday in Gospel Doctrine class. We talked about the Savior and the atonement and how it influences our lives. I paused and pondered his actions, the events surrounding the atonement, and then felt a bit teary eyed. I cannot realize my fondest dream of the Celestial Kingdom with those I love without His Atonement. He did it for me. He had pain for my weaknesses. He suffered because I am a sinner. So, I feel serving a mission may, in a tiny way, help to repay my Savior for the many things He has done for me.
The feelings of joy is another reason I want to serve with Bonnie. I remember fondly the joy I felt as I saw people entering the waters of baptism in Mexico long ago. I tenderly recall the feelings of joy as I have the opportunity of serving in the Kingdom. I remember teaching my children the joys of service and now all of them know of what I speak. Joy comes from sacrificing, and what better sacrifice than to sacrifice for my Savior and my Father. Joy brings it's own reward, and I guess I am selfish when I desire that feeling surrounding me.
One last reason for wanting to serve a mission is getting to know brothers and sisters I do not know now. I may have known them efore, probably did know them before this life and this will be a sort of reunion meeting them again in this mortality.
I find it scary thinking about a mission, for the exact way to be able to serve is not clear to me as yet. I am afraid I will get excited to the point of celebrating and then have that opportunity be withheld from us for a time. Thus I cautiously look forward to serving as a missionary in the coming months for many reasons. Bottom line is I believe Father wants us both to serve a mission in about 173 days.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
DAY 174 Being a Speed Bump!
Often when someone pursues a goal or a dream, there seems to be a major roadblock in front of them. This obstacle could be called a road block, a speed bump, a rock wall, or just plain a stoppage. (I remember when I was unemployed Bonnie suggested that I call the department of transportation and see if I could get a job as a speed bump.) (Not that she wanted to get rid of me, it was just we could not find any job that paid real money.)
About seven years ago when we moved to Brigham City, we had visions of making our bowling alley very successful and even had ideas of how we would spend our profit as we ended that endeavor. Instead of a profit, we left the bowling alley with a debt that we are still paying off two years later. That sweet ugly economy hit and everything went down the drain. In 1978 we were living in Twin Falls, Idaho and I changed jobs, obtaining a job in Salt Lake City. We knew we were going to sell our house. I went to SLC and exercising our faith put money down on a house in Sandy. Needless to say we encountered another stoppage and lost our money. One year later our house sold and we moved where Father wanted us to be, where I was later called as a bishop. We weren't to be in Sandy, but West Jordan. It was difficult that year commuting, but we learned many lessons.
Joseph Smith encountered blockages in his calling as a prophet of our dispensation. He was placed in jail many times and while in the Liberty Jail, he received and presented to the church some wonderful scriptures in the D and C.
Our financial situation has always encountered speed bumps, preventing us from realizing financial dreams, and thus now we are striving to get out of debt so we can serve a mission. Father knows why. I, humbly speaking, come up with great ideas, possibilities, but for some reason they seem to encounter financial prisons that prevent these inspired ideas from developing. I have started over 60 businesses and failed in almost all of them. Those speed bumps seems to live with us.
I have often lamented with Bonnie that I seem to have a detour sign put up in front of almost every idea I dream up. On days when I am not in tune with the Spirit, I find it difficult. On other days when I know that Father has reasons why things happen in my life, I am OK with it. I seem to be a little shy about dreaming up additional ideas, but that is who I am, and thus I continue to dream up new concepts.
Let the speed bumps, detours, road blockages continue to live with me, but I am going to continue to dream, see visions, and work toward their realization, one of which may help me realize that goal of having $50,000 in my bank account when we go on our mission. Rather than be an speed bump, I will fly over them with Divine help and turn those speed bumps into helps to have me become successful.
About seven years ago when we moved to Brigham City, we had visions of making our bowling alley very successful and even had ideas of how we would spend our profit as we ended that endeavor. Instead of a profit, we left the bowling alley with a debt that we are still paying off two years later. That sweet ugly economy hit and everything went down the drain. In 1978 we were living in Twin Falls, Idaho and I changed jobs, obtaining a job in Salt Lake City. We knew we were going to sell our house. I went to SLC and exercising our faith put money down on a house in Sandy. Needless to say we encountered another stoppage and lost our money. One year later our house sold and we moved where Father wanted us to be, where I was later called as a bishop. We weren't to be in Sandy, but West Jordan. It was difficult that year commuting, but we learned many lessons.
Joseph Smith encountered blockages in his calling as a prophet of our dispensation. He was placed in jail many times and while in the Liberty Jail, he received and presented to the church some wonderful scriptures in the D and C.
Our financial situation has always encountered speed bumps, preventing us from realizing financial dreams, and thus now we are striving to get out of debt so we can serve a mission. Father knows why. I, humbly speaking, come up with great ideas, possibilities, but for some reason they seem to encounter financial prisons that prevent these inspired ideas from developing. I have started over 60 businesses and failed in almost all of them. Those speed bumps seems to live with us.
I have often lamented with Bonnie that I seem to have a detour sign put up in front of almost every idea I dream up. On days when I am not in tune with the Spirit, I find it difficult. On other days when I know that Father has reasons why things happen in my life, I am OK with it. I seem to be a little shy about dreaming up additional ideas, but that is who I am, and thus I continue to dream up new concepts.
Let the speed bumps, detours, road blockages continue to live with me, but I am going to continue to dream, see visions, and work toward their realization, one of which may help me realize that goal of having $50,000 in my bank account when we go on our mission. Rather than be an speed bump, I will fly over them with Divine help and turn those speed bumps into helps to have me become successful.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
DAY 175 -- It Is Starting
Last night we were singing in one of our Christmas Concerts and Bonnie started crying. Of course the Spirit was there and we were singing of special things, but she was crying because after we sing next week in the Assembly Hall, it may be the last concert we get to sing in. Of course we will sing in the May concerts, but we won't sing in next year's Christmas Concerts.
It is such a joy and privilege to sing in these concerts under such a talented director, and it will be something we will miss. And it may be the last one. Who knows what will happen in the next few months, or years.
It is starting. We are starting to realize that when we go on a mission next June, there will be things that we won't be around to do next year, next Christmas Season. We won't be around next Thanksgiving either.
Bonnie was telling me that there was a sister she was talking to about that sisters mother. She and her father had served 7 mission and were never home for almost any momentous occasion of her kids. She commented that it was like her parents were dead since they were always gone. She had me promise her that one of our daughters would never be able to say that.
I would love to go on a seven year mission. It would be shorter than the Sons of Mosiah who served fourteen years. That does not calm Bonnie. But I also see the need she will have to be with our children and grand children through the years.
So, as we continue to count down the days until we feel we want to be out serving our Lord in the mission field, more and more of these days will come. Every birthday, every anniversary, every other occasion will be the last one for a few years. I guess that is preparing for our mission, realizing that we will indeed miss certain family events.
Even realizing that we will miss certain things, we are still anxious to go, one of us more than the other one. Our kids want us to go. They will support us and encourage us, though we will be far away for a time.
This is just another mental goal, preparation that needs to be done before anyone goes on a mission. If we do it now, we will be more prepared when we are ready to fly away. It is starting.
It is such a joy and privilege to sing in these concerts under such a talented director, and it will be something we will miss. And it may be the last one. Who knows what will happen in the next few months, or years.
It is starting. We are starting to realize that when we go on a mission next June, there will be things that we won't be around to do next year, next Christmas Season. We won't be around next Thanksgiving either.
Bonnie was telling me that there was a sister she was talking to about that sisters mother. She and her father had served 7 mission and were never home for almost any momentous occasion of her kids. She commented that it was like her parents were dead since they were always gone. She had me promise her that one of our daughters would never be able to say that.
I would love to go on a seven year mission. It would be shorter than the Sons of Mosiah who served fourteen years. That does not calm Bonnie. But I also see the need she will have to be with our children and grand children through the years.
So, as we continue to count down the days until we feel we want to be out serving our Lord in the mission field, more and more of these days will come. Every birthday, every anniversary, every other occasion will be the last one for a few years. I guess that is preparing for our mission, realizing that we will indeed miss certain family events.
Even realizing that we will miss certain things, we are still anxious to go, one of us more than the other one. Our kids want us to go. They will support us and encourage us, though we will be far away for a time.
This is just another mental goal, preparation that needs to be done before anyone goes on a mission. If we do it now, we will be more prepared when we are ready to fly away. It is starting.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Day 176 -- Pondering or Idling Time
Often Joseph Smith would state that he sat pondering the scriptures and he was caught away in a vision. Then he would say that he was pondering something and his mind was enlightened. We are counselled to ponder the scriptures, the conference talks and the spiritual instruction we receive from our leaders and so many other things.
Then I compare that with idle time. "The idle mind is the devil's workshop." "...slothful and not a wise servant." Being slothful, or just idle has been looked upon as lazy, and an invitation to the adversary.
When I see someone sitting, closing their eyes, I wonder if they are sleeping, or pondering the mysteries of life. I wonder if they have an empty mind or are they communing with the Infinite. As I see someone in that state, I should not even consider judging what they are doing for first of all it is none of my business. Second, it is between he and the Lord.
So when I internalize this concept, I pause at the end of a day and wonder how much of my time was idleness and how much was pondering. Can those popular words "anxiously engaged" include pondering? Is there a restriction to where one can ponder? There isn't a restriction on where one can idle his time away, at least in my mind.
I was pondering this morning before I climbed out of bed. I came up with some spiritual direction that I need to put into practice today. I also often receive spiritual direction while I am in the shower. It is a time when no one else can bother me. My mind can commune with the infinite and receive answers.
Some times at work I sit "pondering" and the others in the room question what I am doing. Needless to say I don't get much pondering done at work. But I can on the way to work and on the way home. I love my minutes, times of pondering, for I believe it is nothing less than prayer to Father. At times, not all the time, Father is present and answers questions and gives direction. Other times I just ponder and question, and think about certain things. Am I idle? I guess, but my idleness is with Father or the Holy Ghost and not creating a workshop for that evil one. I love to ponder. If we are idle with the Infinite, then it is pondering. Is that a good definition?
Then I compare that with idle time. "The idle mind is the devil's workshop." "...slothful and not a wise servant." Being slothful, or just idle has been looked upon as lazy, and an invitation to the adversary.
When I see someone sitting, closing their eyes, I wonder if they are sleeping, or pondering the mysteries of life. I wonder if they have an empty mind or are they communing with the Infinite. As I see someone in that state, I should not even consider judging what they are doing for first of all it is none of my business. Second, it is between he and the Lord.
So when I internalize this concept, I pause at the end of a day and wonder how much of my time was idleness and how much was pondering. Can those popular words "anxiously engaged" include pondering? Is there a restriction to where one can ponder? There isn't a restriction on where one can idle his time away, at least in my mind.
I was pondering this morning before I climbed out of bed. I came up with some spiritual direction that I need to put into practice today. I also often receive spiritual direction while I am in the shower. It is a time when no one else can bother me. My mind can commune with the infinite and receive answers.
Some times at work I sit "pondering" and the others in the room question what I am doing. Needless to say I don't get much pondering done at work. But I can on the way to work and on the way home. I love my minutes, times of pondering, for I believe it is nothing less than prayer to Father. At times, not all the time, Father is present and answers questions and gives direction. Other times I just ponder and question, and think about certain things. Am I idle? I guess, but my idleness is with Father or the Holy Ghost and not creating a workshop for that evil one. I love to ponder. If we are idle with the Infinite, then it is pondering. Is that a good definition?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
DAY 177 -- Time to Focus
A few things happened in the last few days that made me decide that I need to focus on that day I am anticipating in six months. I should question everything I do, everything I think and see if it is promoting the coming of our being able to serve as missionaries.
There are many different areas that this is directed at. One: Health, I need to evaluate every day and check at the end of the day and see if I have done anything that would promote my physical health toward being a missionary. Two: Financial, I need to make sure that every financial decision that influences my debt and my plans to be out of debt is in accordance with our goal to be debt free in six months.
Three: Spiritual, I need to make sure that I put forth effort to strengthen myself to be more in tune with the Spirit, more knowledgeable in scriptures, and be more serviceable, more able to listen to and follow those sweet whispering of the Spirit. And even lose a few pounds of unwanted weight.
I need to keep in mind the reason for this blog and make sure that I make progress every day toward our mission. I have let six months go by, many days not even thinking about our upcoming mission.
So I feel that I need to be more consistently remembering this glorious event coming in six months. There are many things that need to be done, but if I focus on them, the time will pass quickly and we shall be flying away on an airplane go somewhere in this glorious world where we can serve and give of our time and talents.
Focus on it, though it may not be totally in focus, but at least it will be always in front of me, reminding me of many goals I need to work upon.
It still seems like a fairy tale, something that is far away and often it is doubted that it will really happen.
There are many different areas that this is directed at. One: Health, I need to evaluate every day and check at the end of the day and see if I have done anything that would promote my physical health toward being a missionary. Two: Financial, I need to make sure that every financial decision that influences my debt and my plans to be out of debt is in accordance with our goal to be debt free in six months.
Three: Spiritual, I need to make sure that I put forth effort to strengthen myself to be more in tune with the Spirit, more knowledgeable in scriptures, and be more serviceable, more able to listen to and follow those sweet whispering of the Spirit. And even lose a few pounds of unwanted weight.
I need to keep in mind the reason for this blog and make sure that I make progress every day toward our mission. I have let six months go by, many days not even thinking about our upcoming mission.
So I feel that I need to be more consistently remembering this glorious event coming in six months. There are many things that need to be done, but if I focus on them, the time will pass quickly and we shall be flying away on an airplane go somewhere in this glorious world where we can serve and give of our time and talents.
Focus on it, though it may not be totally in focus, but at least it will be always in front of me, reminding me of many goals I need to work upon.
It still seems like a fairy tale, something that is far away and often it is doubted that it will really happen.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
DAY 178 -- Music
Music. I was talking with a co worker and I asked him what he was listening to. He said he was looking for music that made one happy. He said there is a list of music that is advertised to be "Music to make you happy." I didn't ask him what it was, but I was interested.
Then I started thinking what kind of music made me happy. I was going to the temple yesterday and all of a sudden, into my subconscious mind entered a strange song that Bonnie and I are singing in our concerts in the upcoming days. It was Jingle Bells. My mind wouldn't let it go. So I was humming Jingle Bells as I entered the temple. It is not a very "templish" song, and one that makes one happy, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Of course when I started the session, it was gone.
I would think one would hum or sing a hymn or something uplifting rather than Jingle Bells going to the temple. If it had to be a Christmas song, why didn't my mind grab a hold of The First Nowell, which we are also singing rather than Jingle Bells.
I surely love singing in this group with Bonnie. She is such a joy to sing with. Also our director has taught me to sing much higher than I ever sang before. I am a low bass, and now I can almost reach the tenor notes, that once were way to high to even think of reaching. I am a changed singer.
I find myself always having some music in my mind. In fact, once in a while I start humming a song I knew as I was growing up, long ago. Bonnie hearing it, always asks why I hum that song. It is one I hum when I don't have anything else to think about. I can't even remember it, but it is one from my far past. It is a song that was on the radio with a popular group singing it. Don't know why. I would rather be humming "Come Thou Fount..." rather than that one, but my sub conscious mind has a mind of it's own. Oh well, can my sub conscious have it's own mind. I believe I will request the government give me $50,000 to do research to try to figure out if my mind has a mind. I have heard them give money for dumber things. Maybe that is where I need to get that money, part of one of my dreams. Music can change the world, it can chang me, and it has changed many.
Then I started thinking what kind of music made me happy. I was going to the temple yesterday and all of a sudden, into my subconscious mind entered a strange song that Bonnie and I are singing in our concerts in the upcoming days. It was Jingle Bells. My mind wouldn't let it go. So I was humming Jingle Bells as I entered the temple. It is not a very "templish" song, and one that makes one happy, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Of course when I started the session, it was gone.
I would think one would hum or sing a hymn or something uplifting rather than Jingle Bells going to the temple. If it had to be a Christmas song, why didn't my mind grab a hold of The First Nowell, which we are also singing rather than Jingle Bells.
I surely love singing in this group with Bonnie. She is such a joy to sing with. Also our director has taught me to sing much higher than I ever sang before. I am a low bass, and now I can almost reach the tenor notes, that once were way to high to even think of reaching. I am a changed singer.
I find myself always having some music in my mind. In fact, once in a while I start humming a song I knew as I was growing up, long ago. Bonnie hearing it, always asks why I hum that song. It is one I hum when I don't have anything else to think about. I can't even remember it, but it is one from my far past. It is a song that was on the radio with a popular group singing it. Don't know why. I would rather be humming "Come Thou Fount..." rather than that one, but my sub conscious mind has a mind of it's own. Oh well, can my sub conscious have it's own mind. I believe I will request the government give me $50,000 to do research to try to figure out if my mind has a mind. I have heard them give money for dumber things. Maybe that is where I need to get that money, part of one of my dreams. Music can change the world, it can chang me, and it has changed many.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
DAY 179 Health Issues
Speaking of health, this morning I climbed out of bed and started to get ready to go to the temple. I have tried to make Tuesday my temple day. As I got out of bed, I almost fell over. I felt like I was drunk. Now don't go and start assuming anything. I don't know how it feels like when one is drunk, however a dear friend of mine, when we were 16 or so, he told me I would love getting drunk. Didn't. Anyway, back to this morning "feeling" like I was drunk.
As I started to do the things to get prepared to go to the temple, my head started to spin. I have heard of people falling out of the shower. Didn't happen. I imagined driving the temple and blacking out, what would become of me. Didn't happen. Then I thought as I stood in the temple, it would be quite funny, at least for others to see, me falling over and landing on the floor. Other might think I was drunk. (Happened to Bonnie once) UGLY
So as the session was winding down, I considered going back to bed and not to work for I still felt my head reeling around in circles. I was told, (felt this little whisper) to breath deeply, get good oxygen into my head. I did so and some of the circles in my head went away. So I went to work. -- only half drunk.
The purpose of this is to verify, or testify, that our health is surely fragile. I mean at any moment we could be sick, "drunk" or unable to do what we have planned for that day. It gives me a reason to offer great gratitude to Father for letting me be healthy. Not as totally healthy I want to be to serve a mission, but healthy enough to drive, go to the temple, do the planned activities of the day, and not have other "things" within my body that are serious.
I watched my father and my brother-in-law die from cancer. I have witnessed another dear sister get incapacitated (I almost said decapitated, but that would not be entirely correct) with her head aches. I have, as you have, seen others struck with health issues that are serious.
I am healthy. I can get up and go to work or wherever I desire to go. Father has not (as of yet) decided to "bless" me with health challenges to learn from. I am so grateful for the health I have.
One of my earnest goals is to use up the health Father has given me in serving as a missionary, in the kingdom until my health is totally gone and they put me in a box under the ground. Whether I get to do that is largely dependent upon His wishes and what lessons I need to perfect me. But that is a goal, to use whatever health I have in helping in the Kingdom.
I am not quite as drunk right now, we shall see how the rest of the day goes.
As I started to do the things to get prepared to go to the temple, my head started to spin. I have heard of people falling out of the shower. Didn't happen. I imagined driving the temple and blacking out, what would become of me. Didn't happen. Then I thought as I stood in the temple, it would be quite funny, at least for others to see, me falling over and landing on the floor. Other might think I was drunk. (Happened to Bonnie once) UGLY
So as the session was winding down, I considered going back to bed and not to work for I still felt my head reeling around in circles. I was told, (felt this little whisper) to breath deeply, get good oxygen into my head. I did so and some of the circles in my head went away. So I went to work. -- only half drunk.
The purpose of this is to verify, or testify, that our health is surely fragile. I mean at any moment we could be sick, "drunk" or unable to do what we have planned for that day. It gives me a reason to offer great gratitude to Father for letting me be healthy. Not as totally healthy I want to be to serve a mission, but healthy enough to drive, go to the temple, do the planned activities of the day, and not have other "things" within my body that are serious.
I watched my father and my brother-in-law die from cancer. I have witnessed another dear sister get incapacitated (I almost said decapitated, but that would not be entirely correct) with her head aches. I have, as you have, seen others struck with health issues that are serious.
I am healthy. I can get up and go to work or wherever I desire to go. Father has not (as of yet) decided to "bless" me with health challenges to learn from. I am so grateful for the health I have.
One of my earnest goals is to use up the health Father has given me in serving as a missionary, in the kingdom until my health is totally gone and they put me in a box under the ground. Whether I get to do that is largely dependent upon His wishes and what lessons I need to perfect me. But that is a goal, to use whatever health I have in helping in the Kingdom.
I am not quite as drunk right now, we shall see how the rest of the day goes.
Monday, December 12, 2011
DAY 180 -- The Health Goal
As I pondered these past days, I have decided that one of the major goals of all the ones I have listed would be the goal to be in good health. The goal to have $50,000 in my bank account has little to do with me. The goal to be spiritually fit depends upon my reading of scriptures and we already have a goal to read the Book of Mormon every day. The goal to be out of debt is also being taken care of by the blessing we both have of an income, at least most of the time.
Most goals to prepare for a mission are dependent upon the influence of our Father. The one to be physically fit is mostly dependent upon me. Will I exercise? Will I be concentrated on losing a few pounds? Will I listen to the Spirit and do what I need to do to be prepared? It is up to me more than Father whether I will be where I want to be. Yes, of course, everything is up to Him, but in this one goal, much is required of me.
Elder Ballard said, and I reported a few days ago said that we need to be masterfully in control of our time. (Maybe that was just yesterday.) I am the one who decides if I am going to do what is necessary to become fit for my mission. There are many goals, many of which depend upon Father and His wishes concerning us. But that is one that I need to take care of.
I don't doubt Fathers ability of blessing us with some of the other goals I have mentioned in this blog. I know He can perform miracles. But I doubt that He will bless me to run marathons, jump small buildings, fly over mountains, and swim across the channel or other feats. But He can bless me with the knowledge of what to do, how to do it to strength a weak back, neck, etc, right?
As I ponder about this, perhaps the Spirit is just telling me that I need to pay attention to my health first, and when it is where it needs to be, then I will know of another goal or challenge that I need to work on. It isn't that my health goals are more important than any other, it is just the time to work on that one now.
It is so comforting to me to know that Father is aware of me, our goals, and our progress toward our upcoming mission. It is comforting to know that He will answer prayers from the heart and walk with us every day, every hour of every day. And so it is comforting to know that He has directed me to work on my health now, to prepare for my mission in 180 days. The other goals may not be as important now, but the tmie will come when I will be directed to work on them also. ( I would love to run a marathon, though.)
Most goals to prepare for a mission are dependent upon the influence of our Father. The one to be physically fit is mostly dependent upon me. Will I exercise? Will I be concentrated on losing a few pounds? Will I listen to the Spirit and do what I need to do to be prepared? It is up to me more than Father whether I will be where I want to be. Yes, of course, everything is up to Him, but in this one goal, much is required of me.
Elder Ballard said, and I reported a few days ago said that we need to be masterfully in control of our time. (Maybe that was just yesterday.) I am the one who decides if I am going to do what is necessary to become fit for my mission. There are many goals, many of which depend upon Father and His wishes concerning us. But that is one that I need to take care of.
I don't doubt Fathers ability of blessing us with some of the other goals I have mentioned in this blog. I know He can perform miracles. But I doubt that He will bless me to run marathons, jump small buildings, fly over mountains, and swim across the channel or other feats. But He can bless me with the knowledge of what to do, how to do it to strength a weak back, neck, etc, right?
As I ponder about this, perhaps the Spirit is just telling me that I need to pay attention to my health first, and when it is where it needs to be, then I will know of another goal or challenge that I need to work on. It isn't that my health goals are more important than any other, it is just the time to work on that one now.
It is so comforting to me to know that Father is aware of me, our goals, and our progress toward our upcoming mission. It is comforting to know that He will answer prayers from the heart and walk with us every day, every hour of every day. And so it is comforting to know that He has directed me to work on my health now, to prepare for my mission in 180 days. The other goals may not be as important now, but the tmie will come when I will be directed to work on them also. ( I would love to run a marathon, though.)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
DAY 181 -- What Time Is It?
In Preach My Gospel, Elder Ballard says that we must set goals and learn how to master the techniques to achieve them. Mastering the techniques needed to reach our goals includes becoming the master manager of our time.
It is interesting that each of us is freely given exactly the same amount of time each day. No one is given 25 nor 23 hours. I find that often when the last hour of one day finally finds me, I feel that all those 24 hours disappeared and I accomplished nothing. I can't even remember what I was doing most of those hours.
As I consider Elder Ballard's words, I know I am not a master manager of my time. I have hundreds of goals to meet in six months. I guess the best thing would be to prioritize my goals and choose the one or two or three that seem to be the most important. Then I need to consider "mastering" management of my time as I consider how I am going to accomplish those goals.
Every major goal will involved many small goals, small stepping stones to make progress toward the big one, (Our mission.) I have shared in this blog many goals. Often I find that I mention one, one day and then mention another one the next day. Then two days later I mention another one. So I guess it is time for me to sit down and remember those goals, evaluate them, and then prioritize them to which are the three that I feel, through Spiritual direction, are the most important, then strive to master my time management to pursue those three.
I guess I could say it is my goal to do that, then I need to set smaller goals to.... Now it is getting crazy. Goals to set goals, to work on goals, to arrive at a goal. With only six months to go, I need to figure out what time it is? I need to start focusing on the most important goal to prepare for that ultimate goal. Then I need to work on my time management to achieve it.
What time is it? It is time to select one major goal, focus on that specific goal and then manage my time to make progress toward that goal. I could even make it a goal to become a master manager of my time. Sorry I couldn't stop myself...
Bottom line? What time is it? What do I do now? It is time to evaluate my progress of the past six months, evaluate where I am, have I wasted time, am I making enough progress, am I focused on the master goal? It is time to ponder and improve. I need to select the one that Father would have me work on right now, which ultimately would will help me achieve others I am sure.
It is interesting that each of us is freely given exactly the same amount of time each day. No one is given 25 nor 23 hours. I find that often when the last hour of one day finally finds me, I feel that all those 24 hours disappeared and I accomplished nothing. I can't even remember what I was doing most of those hours.
As I consider Elder Ballard's words, I know I am not a master manager of my time. I have hundreds of goals to meet in six months. I guess the best thing would be to prioritize my goals and choose the one or two or three that seem to be the most important. Then I need to consider "mastering" management of my time as I consider how I am going to accomplish those goals.
Every major goal will involved many small goals, small stepping stones to make progress toward the big one, (Our mission.) I have shared in this blog many goals. Often I find that I mention one, one day and then mention another one the next day. Then two days later I mention another one. So I guess it is time for me to sit down and remember those goals, evaluate them, and then prioritize them to which are the three that I feel, through Spiritual direction, are the most important, then strive to master my time management to pursue those three.
I guess I could say it is my goal to do that, then I need to set smaller goals to.... Now it is getting crazy. Goals to set goals, to work on goals, to arrive at a goal. With only six months to go, I need to figure out what time it is? I need to start focusing on the most important goal to prepare for that ultimate goal. Then I need to work on my time management to achieve it.
What time is it? It is time to select one major goal, focus on that specific goal and then manage my time to make progress toward that goal. I could even make it a goal to become a master manager of my time. Sorry I couldn't stop myself...
Bottom line? What time is it? What do I do now? It is time to evaluate my progress of the past six months, evaluate where I am, have I wasted time, am I making enough progress, am I focused on the master goal? It is time to ponder and improve. I need to select the one that Father would have me work on right now, which ultimately would will help me achieve others I am sure.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
DAY 182 --- My Future Companion Speaks...
Last night I had a date with my future companion. Don't know if that has ever been done before with the younger missionaries. I guess we are setting a new standard. Anyway, Bonnie and I went out and enjoyed each other for a few hours. Of course it included eating. Afterward, shopped for a few, ate, then we sat and talked about the upcoming six months. We talked about our children, their lives and ours.
But most importantly, we talked about feelings, fears, conditions, our plans for half a year, our goals mentioned in this blog, and many other things. (I was afraid that they were going to kick us out of the restaurant because we sat at the table for so long.)
We haven't done that for quite a time. It was refreshing and enlightening. My companion has different fears than I do concerning our mission. She has different concerns. She anticipates it differently than I do. I listened with an open, hungry mind and it reminded me how much I need to know her concerns and her worries about the road we are on, and about leaving for 18 months.
She vented, shared, explained her concerns, her excitement, her anxiety about leaving her grand kids, and many more things. I found myself grateful that she would let me into her mind and heart. Knowing of her feelings helps me in my "full speed ahead" attitude, my let's go and serve 180 months, my usual methods of running faster than I should and often falling directly on my nose.
It was a wonderful night. I need to do that more often, take the time to let her talk and share what is deep within her. I need to share what is deep within my heart and mind also. How can we be one flesh, or at least be working on becoming one in His eyes if we don't do that often? Life and our circumstances and our choices have postponed these types of therapy between us. I need to take more time to repeat what happened last night, to listen and to feel as my Bonnie.
Lesson learned. Slow down and smell the roses, and listen to the bee's song, though not as that pesky little bee stings, but as he sings. Listening to my future companion is an activity I need to practice much more often. (Six months and counting.)
But most importantly, we talked about feelings, fears, conditions, our plans for half a year, our goals mentioned in this blog, and many other things. (I was afraid that they were going to kick us out of the restaurant because we sat at the table for so long.)
We haven't done that for quite a time. It was refreshing and enlightening. My companion has different fears than I do concerning our mission. She has different concerns. She anticipates it differently than I do. I listened with an open, hungry mind and it reminded me how much I need to know her concerns and her worries about the road we are on, and about leaving for 18 months.
She vented, shared, explained her concerns, her excitement, her anxiety about leaving her grand kids, and many more things. I found myself grateful that she would let me into her mind and heart. Knowing of her feelings helps me in my "full speed ahead" attitude, my let's go and serve 180 months, my usual methods of running faster than I should and often falling directly on my nose.
It was a wonderful night. I need to do that more often, take the time to let her talk and share what is deep within her. I need to share what is deep within my heart and mind also. How can we be one flesh, or at least be working on becoming one in His eyes if we don't do that often? Life and our circumstances and our choices have postponed these types of therapy between us. I need to take more time to repeat what happened last night, to listen and to feel as my Bonnie.
Lesson learned. Slow down and smell the roses, and listen to the bee's song, though not as that pesky little bee stings, but as he sings. Listening to my future companion is an activity I need to practice much more often. (Six months and counting.)
Friday, December 9, 2011
DAY 183 -- Joy?
As I pause as a father of six kids, I often observe the trials and challenges each one is going through. One is struggling with unemployment. One has health issues. One has struggles with having children. One has a real challenge having their parents live with them. As a loving, caring father, if I could I would help each one overcome these obstacles. That is what we pray for each day.
However, if I did that I would destroy the purpose of these challenges in their lives. For our Father knows about all these challenges, and He is also their Father and does not joy in their struggles. There is divine purpose in all of them. I would just destroy His purposes.
I guess that is where "endure to the end" comes from. No matter our trials, no matter our prisons, we have them for a reason, a method of teaching lessons. Then I ponder about 2 Nephi 2:25. "..man is that he might have joy."
As I begin this day, I would like to have joy in my life. I struggled all night long about some things and as I crawled out of bed, those thoughts and challenges started to fill my mind. As my train of thought pursued that track, joy was no where to be found. I was totally occupied with the upcoming day and the many things I have in front of me to do.
So, can I have joy today? Do the scriptures mean that man is that he might have joy if he has no trials to conquer? Or does this scripture mean that the Prophet "is" that he might have joy?
As I sit here and ponder about what this scripture means, about how I am going to strive to have joy this day, I again realize that I am the master of my soul. I can have joy! I just need to realize that I can choose my attitude, my feelings of happiness, the things I choose to struggle about, I can choose to have joy no matter the circumstances. It is all up to me.
But why? Father wants us to be joyful, even through molding, teaching trials. If we have joy, we will feel the Holy Ghost whispering to us and we will be able to endure better, learn faster, and overcome the struggles we all have daily. (Easier said than done, right?)
However, if I did that I would destroy the purpose of these challenges in their lives. For our Father knows about all these challenges, and He is also their Father and does not joy in their struggles. There is divine purpose in all of them. I would just destroy His purposes.
I guess that is where "endure to the end" comes from. No matter our trials, no matter our prisons, we have them for a reason, a method of teaching lessons. Then I ponder about 2 Nephi 2:25. "..man is that he might have joy."
As I begin this day, I would like to have joy in my life. I struggled all night long about some things and as I crawled out of bed, those thoughts and challenges started to fill my mind. As my train of thought pursued that track, joy was no where to be found. I was totally occupied with the upcoming day and the many things I have in front of me to do.
So, can I have joy today? Do the scriptures mean that man is that he might have joy if he has no trials to conquer? Or does this scripture mean that the Prophet "is" that he might have joy?
As I sit here and ponder about what this scripture means, about how I am going to strive to have joy this day, I again realize that I am the master of my soul. I can have joy! I just need to realize that I can choose my attitude, my feelings of happiness, the things I choose to struggle about, I can choose to have joy no matter the circumstances. It is all up to me.
But why? Father wants us to be joyful, even through molding, teaching trials. If we have joy, we will feel the Holy Ghost whispering to us and we will be able to endure better, learn faster, and overcome the struggles we all have daily. (Easier said than done, right?)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
DAY 184 -- Spiritual Medication
As I start out the day, every day, I pause and collect a grundle ( is grundle a word?) of pills to take. I remember when I was much younger I watched my parents take a mouth full of pills each day. I thought they must be on their death bed to eat so many pills each day. Now I am them.
Each pill, there is a reason. Each pill facilitates the day, takes away the pain, and permits me to run a half way normal life. One example: I destroyed my back a few years ago and I have had terror stories told me of the results of back surgery. Thus I have chosen not to pursue back surgery and to live on pain pills to get me through the day. Another one example: I worked for a time reading water meters in the city of Sandy. During those years I knelt down over two million times to read meters, and thus my knees are in real sad shape. (I wish I could say I prayed that many times and thus my knees...) So I use another pill to assist in the joint problems I have.
Anyway, back to the important things. As I looked at all those pills this morning, I remembered how I feel when I miss my regular pill taking. No need to go there now, but it is not comfortable. So I continue to partake of those pills, assuming that it helps my physical existence during the day.
Well this morning, I paused and considered the spiritual "pills" I should be taking every day. I am so religious (no pun intended) about taking my pills each morning, but how religious am I in taking my prayer pill, my scripture pill, touching bases with Father pill-more than prayer, but keeping Him in my mind to be open to revelation, and other spiritual pills.
Instead of remembering my spiritual pills, I usually walk out the door and my mind returns to the inconsequential "fluff" of the day, forgetting my desired communication with my Father, my pondering about Him and my blessings, asking who I can touch, uplift today, etc.
I need to first analyze my spiritual pills of the day, see if there isn't some additional medication I need for the day, and be just as religious in taking these pills as I am the other ones. I need to be conscious of my spiritual health probably more than I am my physical health. Then I would propose that my physical health would improve? Pills, pills, Bill's pills.
Each pill, there is a reason. Each pill facilitates the day, takes away the pain, and permits me to run a half way normal life. One example: I destroyed my back a few years ago and I have had terror stories told me of the results of back surgery. Thus I have chosen not to pursue back surgery and to live on pain pills to get me through the day. Another one example: I worked for a time reading water meters in the city of Sandy. During those years I knelt down over two million times to read meters, and thus my knees are in real sad shape. (I wish I could say I prayed that many times and thus my knees...) So I use another pill to assist in the joint problems I have.
Anyway, back to the important things. As I looked at all those pills this morning, I remembered how I feel when I miss my regular pill taking. No need to go there now, but it is not comfortable. So I continue to partake of those pills, assuming that it helps my physical existence during the day.
Well this morning, I paused and considered the spiritual "pills" I should be taking every day. I am so religious (no pun intended) about taking my pills each morning, but how religious am I in taking my prayer pill, my scripture pill, touching bases with Father pill-more than prayer, but keeping Him in my mind to be open to revelation, and other spiritual pills.
Instead of remembering my spiritual pills, I usually walk out the door and my mind returns to the inconsequential "fluff" of the day, forgetting my desired communication with my Father, my pondering about Him and my blessings, asking who I can touch, uplift today, etc.
I need to first analyze my spiritual pills of the day, see if there isn't some additional medication I need for the day, and be just as religious in taking these pills as I am the other ones. I need to be conscious of my spiritual health probably more than I am my physical health. Then I would propose that my physical health would improve? Pills, pills, Bill's pills.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
DAY 185 -- What Do Ye Desire?
As those who have been reading this blog know, Bonnie and I are on schedule to read the Book of Mormon twice each year. As this year winds down, we area currently just finishing off Third Nephi. January we shall start it again.
I am touched by the loving kindness of the Savior. When He was nearing the end of His ministry on this continent, He asked each of His apostles what they desired most. Three said they wanted to remain on earth bringing to pass the eternal life of their brothers and sisters. The other nine went to His side as they finished their ministry.
I remember in the old testament, He asked one of His prophets what he desired of Him. He also asked Solomon what He wanted and Solomon replied he desired to be wise. Once while on my knees, He asked me the same question. (To be perfectly honest, I didn't know what to answer, so I didn't. I have pondered that question many times and still I don't know what I would answer. Maybe now it is too late.)
Father knows our desires today. He has looked in our hearts and knows that we desire to serve a mission in 185 days. This blog confirms that goal in many ways. In Alma 41, we read that we will be raised according to the desires of our hearts. If we desire happiness, we will be raised to happiness. If we desire wickedness, we will be raised to wickedness.
I am so grateful for a loving Father who wants to know what the desires of our heart are. He is no respecter of persons, so don't you think that He will honor and respect the desires of all His children? I am sure the required lessons, trials, planned exams that He has in store for us take precedence, but I am also sure that He would like to know what we would like, what are our heart-felt desires of our Eternal Father.
The Three Nephites and John the Beloved chose to continue to help Him in His work on the earth. They were granted that desire and in the Book of Mormon they are said to be blessed beyond the other apostles. Will what we desire be of import to our Father now, tomorrow, or when we die?
"What is it that ye desire of me?" Christ's own words. I oftetn pause to ponder what I would desire of my Father.
I am touched by the loving kindness of the Savior. When He was nearing the end of His ministry on this continent, He asked each of His apostles what they desired most. Three said they wanted to remain on earth bringing to pass the eternal life of their brothers and sisters. The other nine went to His side as they finished their ministry.
I remember in the old testament, He asked one of His prophets what he desired of Him. He also asked Solomon what He wanted and Solomon replied he desired to be wise. Once while on my knees, He asked me the same question. (To be perfectly honest, I didn't know what to answer, so I didn't. I have pondered that question many times and still I don't know what I would answer. Maybe now it is too late.)
Father knows our desires today. He has looked in our hearts and knows that we desire to serve a mission in 185 days. This blog confirms that goal in many ways. In Alma 41, we read that we will be raised according to the desires of our hearts. If we desire happiness, we will be raised to happiness. If we desire wickedness, we will be raised to wickedness.
I am so grateful for a loving Father who wants to know what the desires of our heart are. He is no respecter of persons, so don't you think that He will honor and respect the desires of all His children? I am sure the required lessons, trials, planned exams that He has in store for us take precedence, but I am also sure that He would like to know what we would like, what are our heart-felt desires of our Eternal Father.
The Three Nephites and John the Beloved chose to continue to help Him in His work on the earth. They were granted that desire and in the Book of Mormon they are said to be blessed beyond the other apostles. Will what we desire be of import to our Father now, tomorrow, or when we die?
"What is it that ye desire of me?" Christ's own words. I oftetn pause to ponder what I would desire of my Father.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
DAY 186 --- AS IF
As I consider the arrival of June 9, and as I sort of forget the long list of goals I have to accomplish by then, I search for another one. I went to my grand daughter's play last night. As I sit here and review my night, it occurred to me that I was... I don't know, I was just there. So if I start thinking, preparing for our mission, then why don't I act on the "as if" principle.
You know what that is, it states that if you want to be happy, act as if you are and you will be. If you want to be sad and depressed, you act as if you are, then you are. If you want to play the piano, then act as if you play it like a master. Well, I guess it doesn't always work, especially in playing the piano, for I tried that once, and well it was a catastrophe.
As missionaries, in many months, we will be thinking 24/7 about the Kingdom and how we can assist Father in the Kingdom. Why can't I do that now? Rather than consider all the pressures I have, the challenges, the thoughts that take me away from "missionary thoughts" I could use the "as if" concept.
Sunday I taught the teens in Sunday School. The lesson was "GOD IS LOVE." I asked them if they love even those people they do not know? Then I challenged them to go to school the next day and look for someone who needed their love. Perhaps someone who sits alone all the time. Someone that doesn't have any friends. Someone that seems angry all the time. Etc. I challenged them to love them, to greet them with a smile, to say hello to them, or anything else that came into their mind.
That is what being a disciple of Christ is all about isn't it? I could have followed my own counsel last night at the play and sought out others who could have used a smile, a greeting, or something to bring them out of their lonely thoughts.
We all know what His work and Glory is. As I begin this day, I need to do as I challenged those teens, to find someone who needs a cheery smile or just someone to say I love you. Rather than wait six months to be called to do that, I should start practicing those thoughts and actions now, as if I had already received my call. When I purchase gas, I can talk to the neighbor pumping their gas about the weather? I could talk to those at the grocery store. (A few times in the past, I have purchased a Snickers, or something and just give it to the cashier. You would not believe the shock, and smiles I get. I need to do that more often.) At my grand daughter's play, I could at least put a smile on my face and others will wonder what I have been up to.
You know what that is, it states that if you want to be happy, act as if you are and you will be. If you want to be sad and depressed, you act as if you are, then you are. If you want to play the piano, then act as if you play it like a master. Well, I guess it doesn't always work, especially in playing the piano, for I tried that once, and well it was a catastrophe.
As missionaries, in many months, we will be thinking 24/7 about the Kingdom and how we can assist Father in the Kingdom. Why can't I do that now? Rather than consider all the pressures I have, the challenges, the thoughts that take me away from "missionary thoughts" I could use the "as if" concept.
Sunday I taught the teens in Sunday School. The lesson was "GOD IS LOVE." I asked them if they love even those people they do not know? Then I challenged them to go to school the next day and look for someone who needed their love. Perhaps someone who sits alone all the time. Someone that doesn't have any friends. Someone that seems angry all the time. Etc. I challenged them to love them, to greet them with a smile, to say hello to them, or anything else that came into their mind.
That is what being a disciple of Christ is all about isn't it? I could have followed my own counsel last night at the play and sought out others who could have used a smile, a greeting, or something to bring them out of their lonely thoughts.
We all know what His work and Glory is. As I begin this day, I need to do as I challenged those teens, to find someone who needs a cheery smile or just someone to say I love you. Rather than wait six months to be called to do that, I should start practicing those thoughts and actions now, as if I had already received my call. When I purchase gas, I can talk to the neighbor pumping their gas about the weather? I could talk to those at the grocery store. (A few times in the past, I have purchased a Snickers, or something and just give it to the cashier. You would not believe the shock, and smiles I get. I need to do that more often.) At my grand daughter's play, I could at least put a smile on my face and others will wonder what I have been up to.
Monday, December 5, 2011
DAY 187 -- Living What We Know
I just received word from a dear brother and sister who just returned from their mission. Bonnie and I saw them off and wished at that time that we were going. She responded with things I already knew, but had to be reminded once again. She said that they were not able to go when they were prepared and had to wait for a time before they could go on their mission. Now that they returned, she said that they had a wonderful mission and if they would have went out when they thought they wanted to go, they would not have had the same experiences, and perhaps might not have gone to the same mission.
Then she reminded me that "Lean not to thine own understanding" "Trust in the Lord" and on and on. I know these things and I would preach them to others. However, I needed to be reminded of them to exercise my faith in Father knowing His timetable is best for us. 2 Nephi 2:24, "..but all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things." I know there are reasons, I just have to place my hand in His and be patient. Anyone who knows me knows that I am certainly not a patient person. Don't know if I will ever learn that lesson.
Now, here is another lesson I learned from this good sister. We all know the truth. We all know the teachings of the brethren, the prophets, etc. We read about these principles of truth all the time. But then we forget them, or we just don't have reason to apply them to ourselves. I know that Father in in charge and it is His timing that dictates answers to prayers. I even preach that to the High Priests, and the young kids when I teach them. They why can't I incorporate it into my own life?
Why do I have to be reminded that He is in charge and knows so much more than I? Why do I have to be reminded that all these things gain me experience and will be for my own good? Why do I continue to struggle with patience? I know the gospel, but often do not live what I know. Why? Am I am lazy, slow-to-remember type of guy? If I wasn't careful it could make me totally upset with my memory. If I wasn't careful I could question if I really know all those things.
It is interesting that most of us suffer from this same forgetfulness, do we not? Don't we always have to be reminded of certain principles of the gospel and then be encouraged to live them? I guess that is part of mortality, being imperfect and ignorant of certain principles. Or at least not as proficient at living what we know... It is interesting that this keeps recurring in my life, not living what I know, what I preach to others. Does this make any difference in my preparation for my mission? I guess I just need to live what I know better.
Then she reminded me that "Lean not to thine own understanding" "Trust in the Lord" and on and on. I know these things and I would preach them to others. However, I needed to be reminded of them to exercise my faith in Father knowing His timetable is best for us. 2 Nephi 2:24, "..but all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things." I know there are reasons, I just have to place my hand in His and be patient. Anyone who knows me knows that I am certainly not a patient person. Don't know if I will ever learn that lesson.
Now, here is another lesson I learned from this good sister. We all know the truth. We all know the teachings of the brethren, the prophets, etc. We read about these principles of truth all the time. But then we forget them, or we just don't have reason to apply them to ourselves. I know that Father in in charge and it is His timing that dictates answers to prayers. I even preach that to the High Priests, and the young kids when I teach them. They why can't I incorporate it into my own life?
Why do I have to be reminded that He is in charge and knows so much more than I? Why do I have to be reminded that all these things gain me experience and will be for my own good? Why do I continue to struggle with patience? I know the gospel, but often do not live what I know. Why? Am I am lazy, slow-to-remember type of guy? If I wasn't careful it could make me totally upset with my memory. If I wasn't careful I could question if I really know all those things.
It is interesting that most of us suffer from this same forgetfulness, do we not? Don't we always have to be reminded of certain principles of the gospel and then be encouraged to live them? I guess that is part of mortality, being imperfect and ignorant of certain principles. Or at least not as proficient at living what we know... It is interesting that this keeps recurring in my life, not living what I know, what I preach to others. Does this make any difference in my preparation for my mission? I guess I just need to live what I know better.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
DAY 188 -- Failure To Communicate
In a movie of long ago, when I was much younger, there was a statement that our family often uses, "What we have here is a failure to communicate..." Of course I cannot write it like it was said. But we have had a failure to communicate.
I posted a few days ago that my kids, my family was sort of indifferent on our mission goals. I am a quiet man. I don't spend much time on the phone. My future companion, Bonnie is always talking with our kids and she does the talking. Besides I am going deaf, according to my kids. I don't think so, even if I have selective hearing once in a while, through choice, or not? Anyway, she talks to my kids all the time.
Since I was berated by a daughter in law yesterday, and since I followed up that berating with my wife, she told me, "Perhaps it would be good if you talked with your wife once in a while." Another berating. I could get feeling pretty bad about myself, two of those I love telling me I was wrong, and should be better. I will strive not to feel too bad.
Well, Bonnie said that in her conversations with my kids, they are all very excited about our mission. (Maybe they just want to get rid of us?) (Especially Sam and Tessa, with whom we are living.) Some read this blog, some do not. I seldom, approaching never, get any comments, so I just figured that no one was reading this, and my kids were not so concerned about my mission. (Another berating, I should not assume no one reads these words if I do not get any comments?) Lesson to be learned here: NEVER JUST ASSUME, and talk to your wife to find out how things really are. Avoid the "failure to communicate" syndrome. That should be another goal to work on, I guess. (I am sure chalking up a long list of goals to accomplish by next June.)
Note: I went to a book seller yesterday and gave him most all of my books that had been collecting dust in the storage unit. He bought them all, giving me $550. (He felt he could sell them all during this Christmas season.) That will be a deposit into our mission fund. It is a start on the $50,000 I am trying to earn by June for our mission. There are other dreams he has using my written words, but those things will be reported on at at later date if they develop. The $550 is a bit more than 1% of the ultimate goal. It is a start with six months to go, right? You have to start somewhere, right?
I posted a few days ago that my kids, my family was sort of indifferent on our mission goals. I am a quiet man. I don't spend much time on the phone. My future companion, Bonnie is always talking with our kids and she does the talking. Besides I am going deaf, according to my kids. I don't think so, even if I have selective hearing once in a while, through choice, or not? Anyway, she talks to my kids all the time.
Since I was berated by a daughter in law yesterday, and since I followed up that berating with my wife, she told me, "Perhaps it would be good if you talked with your wife once in a while." Another berating. I could get feeling pretty bad about myself, two of those I love telling me I was wrong, and should be better. I will strive not to feel too bad.
Well, Bonnie said that in her conversations with my kids, they are all very excited about our mission. (Maybe they just want to get rid of us?) (Especially Sam and Tessa, with whom we are living.) Some read this blog, some do not. I seldom, approaching never, get any comments, so I just figured that no one was reading this, and my kids were not so concerned about my mission. (Another berating, I should not assume no one reads these words if I do not get any comments?) Lesson to be learned here: NEVER JUST ASSUME, and talk to your wife to find out how things really are. Avoid the "failure to communicate" syndrome. That should be another goal to work on, I guess. (I am sure chalking up a long list of goals to accomplish by next June.)
Note: I went to a book seller yesterday and gave him most all of my books that had been collecting dust in the storage unit. He bought them all, giving me $550. (He felt he could sell them all during this Christmas season.) That will be a deposit into our mission fund. It is a start on the $50,000 I am trying to earn by June for our mission. There are other dreams he has using my written words, but those things will be reported on at at later date if they develop. The $550 is a bit more than 1% of the ultimate goal. It is a start with six months to go, right? You have to start somewhere, right?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
DAY 189 -- Six Month, and It Keeps Going, and Going, and Going
A little bit more than six months..... I began six months ago writing on this blog, committing to do so every day. I have failed a day or two, but most often I have been diligent in so doing. Some days I listen to the Spirit and I know exactly what I need to write. Other days, I sit and ponder what lesson I have learned, what obstacle I have to overcome, and what is currently in front of us trying to block our vision toward the end goal.
I went back to the first blog I posted on June 9. I am including with this blog a statement I made in that blog. I have not really understood what a blog is, but that sweet whispering to my soul has motivated and pushed me to start a countdown to when Bonnie and I have been married for 40 years, and soon thereafter head out to the mission field to serve the Lord. I guess that is the bottom line for this blog.
I have to keep that in front of me to remind me the "whys" of this blog. That same whispering has been in my mind urging me to write every day. Now we have counted down half the distance of this journey and we have learned many things. There is still a long way to go to realize this dream. But we are half way to our mission, to number 40!
I have added new goals, minimized some others, postponed some, and continue striving to realize some. We have seen the Lord's hand in our life many times during this six months. We have seen miracles, people change, circumstances change, health improve, finances stretch to bridge gaps, new insights brought into mind, etc.
Our commitment is just as strong, if not stronger today than it was six months ago. I am beginning to see "visions" about our mission, being with my lovely companion and serving Him who we love, meeting fellow saints who live in another country, and introducing others to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a joy to imagine such a dream come true. Six months, plus a few days, and we will arrive at our 40th anniversary.
I went back to the first blog I posted on June 9. I am including with this blog a statement I made in that blog. I have not really understood what a blog is, but that sweet whispering to my soul has motivated and pushed me to start a countdown to when Bonnie and I have been married for 40 years, and soon thereafter head out to the mission field to serve the Lord. I guess that is the bottom line for this blog.
I have to keep that in front of me to remind me the "whys" of this blog. That same whispering has been in my mind urging me to write every day. Now we have counted down half the distance of this journey and we have learned many things. There is still a long way to go to realize this dream. But we are half way to our mission, to number 40!
I have added new goals, minimized some others, postponed some, and continue striving to realize some. We have seen the Lord's hand in our life many times during this six months. We have seen miracles, people change, circumstances change, health improve, finances stretch to bridge gaps, new insights brought into mind, etc.
Our commitment is just as strong, if not stronger today than it was six months ago. I am beginning to see "visions" about our mission, being with my lovely companion and serving Him who we love, meeting fellow saints who live in another country, and introducing others to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a joy to imagine such a dream come true. Six months, plus a few days, and we will arrive at our 40th anniversary.
Friday, December 2, 2011
DAY 190 -- Stop Complaining
I read a short devotional today from Lloyd Newell. He said that I should stop complaining. So, on the way to work today, I started considering how many people have "things" exactly as they thought they would be. How many are living the dream they envisioned when they were younger? How many are living in a position where they have nothing to complain about? How many are just totally, completely satisfied with the way things are today, right now?
I decided that there would be very few that had nothing to complain about, if the truth were known. I am not saying that those who had nothing to complain about would be those who had everything perfect in their life. I am saying that there are some who would not complain no matter what. They may have cancer, they may have loved ones straying, they may have nothing too be grateful for, but they do not complain. They may have challenges with bosses, or neighbors, or they be fighting the Government about taxes, but they won't complain.
We were all sent to this earth to learn lessons. We are all promised trials. But so many of us, myself included, evaluate our current circumstances and almost always we come up with things that are not as we would have them. There are things that are not as good as they used to be. So,too often I find myself wishing things were different and even a little bit of complaint, waiting for things to be different or to be better.
Stop complaining. Brother Lloyd Newell added as he counseled us to stop complaining that we should re-read Alma 37:36-37 where we are told to do all things "unto the Lord." "Let thy thought be directed unto Him...Counsel with the Lord in ALL thy doings...let thy heart be full of thanks.." If we/I would stop complaining and remember how close Father is to each of us constantly, counsel with him all in things, and keep in mind that He won't let us go through anything that is not required for our perfection, then perhaps I can start to stop complaining. Perhaps....
I decided that there would be very few that had nothing to complain about, if the truth were known. I am not saying that those who had nothing to complain about would be those who had everything perfect in their life. I am saying that there are some who would not complain no matter what. They may have cancer, they may have loved ones straying, they may have nothing too be grateful for, but they do not complain. They may have challenges with bosses, or neighbors, or they be fighting the Government about taxes, but they won't complain.
We were all sent to this earth to learn lessons. We are all promised trials. But so many of us, myself included, evaluate our current circumstances and almost always we come up with things that are not as we would have them. There are things that are not as good as they used to be. So,too often I find myself wishing things were different and even a little bit of complaint, waiting for things to be different or to be better.
Stop complaining. Brother Lloyd Newell added as he counseled us to stop complaining that we should re-read Alma 37:36-37 where we are told to do all things "unto the Lord." "Let thy thought be directed unto Him...Counsel with the Lord in ALL thy doings...let thy heart be full of thanks.." If we/I would stop complaining and remember how close Father is to each of us constantly, counsel with him all in things, and keep in mind that He won't let us go through anything that is not required for our perfection, then perhaps I can start to stop complaining. Perhaps....
Thursday, December 1, 2011
DAY 191 --- Rocks and Holes, Marriage
I love Elder Holland. He is the one who was the inspiration to get me started on this blog. Going on a mission is our main goal. My bishop wants to get us out of here. My boss is refusing to accept that we want to go in less than seven months. My kids are sort of in the opinion that we will wait and see what happens. Bonnie and I surely want to go as soon as possible.
Bonnie just read Elder Hollands message of October Conference where Elder Holland talked about going on a mission, how much the Lord needs missionaries. She cried and felt the "call" that we need to go, that there is a place waiting for us, even waiting for our abilities where we can serve twenty four seven.
A brother with whom I work said that he heard Elder Holland mention a statement when he was talking to those at BYU, those who were anticipating getting married. Elder Holland said that those young kids needed to find another to compliment them. He said the young men should look for a young woman who had holes in her head where the rocks in his head would fit and fill them up.
I guess that is a different way of defining marriage. It is when the rocks in one's head fit into the holes in another's head. Bonnie was deaf and blind when she married me. She was deaf and thus didn't hear all the crazy things I said before we got married. She was blind not to see how ugly I was.
Anyway, whatever the reasons why we got married, I am sure our rocks and holes are joining together to make us much better people, that is what is really a marriage, where one helps make whole the other one. She is surely trying to do that in my case.
Bonnie just read Elder Hollands message of October Conference where Elder Holland talked about going on a mission, how much the Lord needs missionaries. She cried and felt the "call" that we need to go, that there is a place waiting for us, even waiting for our abilities where we can serve twenty four seven.
A brother with whom I work said that he heard Elder Holland mention a statement when he was talking to those at BYU, those who were anticipating getting married. Elder Holland said that those young kids needed to find another to compliment them. He said the young men should look for a young woman who had holes in her head where the rocks in his head would fit and fill them up.
I guess that is a different way of defining marriage. It is when the rocks in one's head fit into the holes in another's head. Bonnie was deaf and blind when she married me. She was deaf and thus didn't hear all the crazy things I said before we got married. She was blind not to see how ugly I was.
Anyway, whatever the reasons why we got married, I am sure our rocks and holes are joining together to make us much better people, that is what is really a marriage, where one helps make whole the other one. She is surely trying to do that in my case.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)