DAY 222 --- HUMOR, Who Wrote the Etiquette Bible of Humor?

What is humor?  Is there always room for humor in today's world?  Is there room for humor when serving on a mission?  Does humor take anything away from the Spirit and inspiration?  Is it a asset or a liability?  Is "loud laughter" different than a small chuckle?

In 2 Nephi 2:25, we are told that man is that we might have joy.  Is joy humor?  I Alma 41, it promises us never ending happiness.  Is happiness humor?  Can it be, or should it be? Or are we talking two different things? 

I the war chapters of the Book of Mormon when Alma wrote down that they did try all their liquors, for if it would kill a Lamanite, it would kill a Nephite.  Is that humor?

I guess you have to be in a "humorous" mood to laugh at things.  Then if you are not in the mood, then something you would have laughed at, you wouldn't have.  I recall many of my kids talking about being punchy.  It was late at night, when everyone should have been in bed, and then all of a sudden, everything was funny and made them all laugh.  Everything is funny when one is punchy.  We someone is sad, or enduring trials, almost nothing is funny and humorous.

One place you don't often encounter fun and laughter is in the temple.  The work done in the temple is serious and sacred.  There is not any place in allowance for humor while doing the sacred work in the temple.

So does that mean there is a place for humor and there are other places that should not be allowing humor.  So, who wrote the humor etiquette bible?  Were they experienced in humor, or did they get a degree in humor to be able to write that "bible?" 

I love a good joke as much as the other guy.  There are many not-so-clean jokes that are floating around.  There are good jokes, but again, who is going to say if a joke is in the etiquette bible and thus it is OK, or it was cast aside because it certainly was not OK?  Did millions of people vote on the decisions made and put in the etiquette bible? If something is not in that Bible, then it can't be funny, right?

Someone once said that if we are not laughing every day, then we are taking everything too seriously.  So Lighten Up!  Tomorrow more insights about humor, I hope.

DAY 223 -- Humorous Endorphins on the Run

What a wonderful Sabbath day today.  We attended church, the most important hour of the week as we partook of the sacrament.  We live in a youthful ward where the majority of the families have many kids.  The noise is high, and the challenge to think of the Savior is difficult. 

But if the desire is there, the noise, the crying babies, the screaming others, the disruptions are few for the mind is where it should be, in the Sacrament Meeting, thinking of the atonement and the remembrance of Him.  As we recall the atonement and the Savior, our thoughts go to the renewal of our baptismal covenants. We can be, we should be washed clean from sins every week at the sacrament table.

I paused today and tried to think of this week, creating it Spiritually before I start Monday tomorrow morning.  I reviewed my plans with Bonnie and we talked about this upcoming week that is going to be a very difficult one because of commitments and obligations.

But we still need to remember the ultimate goal we have of serving a mission in a little over 7 months.  If we create that as an anchor, our thoughts of serving for Father in the location of His choosing then anything, everything we do should be a mean to get us closer there. 

Where does humor come in?  Can we still pursue a mission and laugh about it?  Can we make jokes and seek those endorphins throughout the day?  Does Heavenly Father have a sense of humor? Is humor bad?  Does it take away from the serious nature of the gospel?  Do good missionaries tell jokes and laugh with each other?  If I am not hit by  lightning, tomorrow and for as long as I can, I need to treat the aspect of humor, for I believe I need it.  It is a blessing or a curse?  Is it good or bad, or either?

DAY 224 --- Speaking the World's Language

I get up each morning and go to work.  Each week I give 40 - 50 hours of my time working for my boss.  I work trying to set up people and organizations all over the world to find students who want to come to the US to learn English.  That is our product.  I guess I am a salesman trying to find people to market that product.  I enjoy talking with people from Nigeria, Taiwan, Thailand, China, Japan, Korea, etc.  No, I do not speak their languages.  But I do speak the language of friendship.  I have many friends all over the world.

At times I find it hard to understand them trying to speak English to be understood.  At times we have to take it slow so we can understand each other.  But we do communicate and strive to help others learn English, the world language.

Often I pause and think about my work and what I do with my time.  I earn a few pennies as I give of that time to recruit students.  I enjoy it.  I am a people person and love to talk to everyone.  Once in a while I find those who do not want to talk with me, nor anyone.  There are those in the world also.

As I dream about realizing this dream of serving a mission, I get joyful, almost overjoyed and happy to realize the time is coming when I will be able to give full time, 24-7 of my time with my sweet heart, to the Lord.  I will again be trying to market a product.  But this product is the truthfulness of the gospel.  I will be surrounded with people hungry to know what I know.  I will be challenged to make friends, teach true principles, and influence many others in all walks of life. 

We will have the Spirit in our souls to direct us where to look, what to say, how to say it, and when not to say it.  We will be the Lord's missionaries to bring the world His truth.  What a glorious goal, dream to work toward.  Yes, the leaders of the Kingdom have asked for more senior missionaries.  But more than that, I am excited to be in His service, dedicate every hour, every minute to helping in the Kingdom.  Don't know exactly where or what we will be doing, but it really doesn't matter. I am excited.  Bonnie is excited.  Oh that eight months could be eliminated and we could go tomorrow.  Oh that all the preparation we have to complete would be completed. 

But that is wishing our life away, and this is not good.  Thus we will wait, patiently? and continue to count down the days.  Only 224 more days until M day.

DAY 225 -- The Other Shoe

When we first got married, we lived in an upstairs apartment on a two level apartment complex.  I remember, after living there for about six months, talking to those who lived below us.  I can't remember their name, but I do remember this conversation.

Brother whatever-his-name-was said that every night as they get ready for bed, they heard us upstairs.  He said that he heard me take off one of my shoes and throw it into the closet.  Then about five to ten seconds later, he hears the other shoe drop onto the floor of the closet.  He said it became a ritual as they both listened to my two shoes being thrown into our closet.  They knew it was coming and counted on it.

Then he said one night he heard me throw my first shoe into the closet and knew the second was on it's way.  However, as the two of them waited and waited, I never did throw the second shoe into the closet for him to hear.  He said they spent a sleepless night waiting for the second shoe to drop, and it never did.  He said he knew he would be awakened in the middle of the night with the second shoe.  But it never came.

Of course I had no idea what was going on below us.  I didn't know that I had an audience listening to my nightly shoe concert, hitting the floor of our closet, ringing in harmony in their ears one floor below us.

Why do I bring this up?  Well, I mentioned yesterday that our bishop promised us in a blessing that our money problems were behind us and we would indeed be serving a mission in coming months.  I felt comfort and peaceful as I again deposited that information into my mind and heart.  No money problems.  I don't need to wait for any more miracles to resolve my money problems.  We are on a schedule to pay off our debt and all will be well.

However....  I feel as our below-our-apartment dwellers.  Though all is well with our finances, and though Bonnie received a blessing that all is well with our money situation, I still get this feeling that there is another shoe to drop.  I feel that something is not right in that avenue. No I am not discounting that beautiful blessing.  It does give comfort and peace.  But I feel there is something else that will motivate me to pursue earning additional income to provide for us when we return.  I don't know when the shoe will drop.  Don't know when and what it will be, but I feel that one more shoe has to drop.  I feel that Father will inspire me to pursue one more dream and one more "small and simple thing" to bring to pass His will. 

If you keep reading this blog, I will be recording the second shoe when it drops and let you know when, what it was when it comes.  There is one more shoe coming, I am sure of it.

DAY 226 --- Blessing -- Bishops

Last night, we visited our bishop to get Bonnie set apart in her calling.  She was called as the Ward Music Coordinator.  Our inspired bishop gave her a wonderful blessing.  Needless to say, she didn't sleep much last night.  She was dreaming, without dreaming, about music, thinking about her blessing, etc.

It was just another witness of revelation.  Bishops have that constantly.  Every time they put their hands on some one's head, they have the right to inspiration, of revelation, of telling the person what Father wants them to know.  It is such a wonderful witness of the special calling of a bishop, or I guess you could call it the Bishop's Mantle.

The bishop has the challenge of always being in tune and being worthy of inspiration.  He can be sitting in his office, have someone come in that he was not thinking about, sit down, listen to that members challenges, and then have the opportunity of giving a blessing, clearing his mind and listening to the Spirit tell the bishop what he should be saying to that person.

Often the faith of the member that he has in the bishop will draw that inspiration from Father in Heaven through the bishop.  Bishops are often just mediums of inspiration, revelation, of telling his members what the Lord would have him say. 

The Savior runs this church.  It is His church.  He uses those who have been called as His bishops. 

Sadly I have seen members express lack of faith in and love for their bishop.  It is sad, for that is how He runs each ward, through inspiration to the bishop in spite of any member or their feelings.

There are over 25,000 bishops in the world today.  Those men are unsung heroes.  I pay respect to them for their challenge, their burdens in listening to members, and being everything to each ward member. 

Also, one thing that bishops enjoy is when they have their hands on some one's head, they get a very special, spiritual insight into that person's pre-earth identity.  What a special opportunity.  It is something that bishops miss when they are released, for it comes no other way. 

Again, I pay my respect and honor to any and all bishops serving in the kingdom today.

DAY 227 --- Our Mothers Knew It

I was reading my Book of Mormon this morning and realized that within eight months, we could be getting ready to go on a mission.  So, since Bon and I read the BOM every six months, the next time we start, we are going to read it together, discuss it, and learn from it.  It will be another avenue to prepare for our mission call.

We are currently in the last chapters of Alma, finishing up the war chapters.  Of course that is about the 2000 sons of Helaman.  As I read this morning, I read a phrase that keeps floating through my mind.  Of course I will have to paraphrase it.  "We did not doubt, our mothers knew it." 

That belief in their mother's testimonies, their mother's and father's teachings preserved all of them from being killed in battle.  Miracle after miracle during thee battles with the Lamanites, they came out of it alive while thousands of their co-fighters were killed.  I wonder as they were fighting with their swords if they were thinking of their mother's teachings, their mothers knowledge.  Their faith preserved their life.  Later on in the history of the Nephites, these stripling warriors were instrumental in helping the whole nation in battles against the Lamanites. 

So as this idea is running around in my mind, do I doubt?  We have been preparing for a mission.  We are doing all in our power to prepare to go in less than 8 months.  But do we doubt?  Sorry to say, but I do.  I often ponder and fear things that may come up that could prevent us.  I question what will happen if we do not find either money or those to support us.  I fear the disappointment that we may not go.  Do I doubt?

As I read that scripture this morning, I realized that perhaps the meaning of that phrase is to make me reaffirm my commitment, my goal, and my positive attitude that we, indeed, will be privileged to serve together as missionary companions.  As I trudged through the day, I realized that I am not where I want to be exercising my faith, having the faith of those 2000, living the as if principle.  Would my life change if I "lived" the dream, the mission, and acted as if the mission call is just a matter of time, nothing else?  I need to analyze that a bit more for my own attitude about our coming call.  I need to look forward to June just as those 2000 approached their battles, their life knowing what they mother preached to them. 

DAY 228 -- Living Below Our Privileges

Financially, we are on track to be out of debt by the time when go on our mission.  If we keep on our budget, we shall arrive to June with no debt, and of course no money.  Then a month or so ago, I decided to dream big.  I mentioned to Father that I wanted to have $50,000 in the bank to serve the Lord.

Then I said, I would pursue every possibility to be the means of realizing our new goal of having fifty thousand.  Well, I have been advertising for a mortgage representative to help Sam, and thus me, for Sam will pay me a referral fee.  In other words, this is one of those "small and simple things" from which COULD come great things.  I don't know if this is going to generate great things, but it is one of the things I promised to pursue. 

As I continue to work at my 40 hour per week work, that is what will get us out of debt.  This account rep could help us begin on our other BIG dream.  In finding and then using the mortgage rep, that is following what Elder Holland counseled when he said, "...we must work toward their realization.." 

I have other ideas, other possibilities, and other small and simple things that could result in more help for that grand dream.  I must pursue them.  But I cannot forget the path we are currently on to get us out of debt.

I went to the temple today and felt as I was there that Father knows me, knows of these dreams and our goals.  He is pleased with our progress and our continued pursuit of that destination.  As I considered where we are, He said to me through feelings that we are where He would have us.  Thanks be to my Father for telling me that.  For I feel that we should all have a confirmation often in our life to know that our whereabouts are in accordance of His Eternal Plans for us. 

The lack of confirmation gives worry, pause, frustration, sadness, questions, etc.  My boss said that there have been many Brethren who have said that most of us live below our privileges.  We are not living up to our blessings that are due us.  We don't ask for them.  We don't expect them.  We do deserve them but do not ask for them, thus live below our blessings. 

I feel that receiving the above mentioned confirmation is one of those blessings that we are worthy of, and often don't receive because we don't think we deserve it, nor do we ask for it.  We should ask Father what to ask for, and then look for it. Or better said, expect it.  And especially expect a periodic witness that we are where we should be in accordance to His plans for us.

DAY 229 -- Dreaming Brings Joy

Monday should be a new beginning every week.  Sunday is the day to revitalize our soul, get a new lease on life and recommit to our goals.  Monday is the day to put into practice what we thought about, planned, and decided on Sunday. Today is Monday.  Am I recommitted to this goal?

I believe that one of the reasons Elder Holland said that we should always have dreams is because dreaming can often give comfort, hope, and excitement.  Dreaming of what "could" be often gives one strength to carry on, not lose hope, and anticipate the future.

Dreaming of our mission, trying to imagine where we will be called, what city we will be living in, what will be our responsibilities, all can cause us to endure a little longer, put up with sadness or failure of short term goals.  Dreaming can give us the power and desire to carry on when all seems lost.  Dreaming about the future and trying to imagine what can, and possibly will happen often can give much strength to the dreamer. 

So today, as Monday has arrived, and now gone, I spent time dreaming about what could happen next June when we hope to be called on a mission.  That helps me get through the daily hum drum, knowing we have a united dream of what is going to be, what we are planning for, and what we are working toward.

"We must take every opportunity to learn and to grow, to dream dreams and see visions."  Dreaming and seeing visions has been a part of me for many, many years.  I constantly dream dreams.  When I conceptualize a possibility, immediately I dream a dream that will make that possibility reality.  When I am asked to do something, I immediately dream how I can do it in a great manner.  When I discover a need, I dream up a solution to solve that need.  When I discover a sadness, or a person who is in need of comfort, I dream of a way to comfort that person.

Dreaming is a great past time, and one I endorse.  It gets me through difficult times.  Even some days I dream about the Second Coming.  What a glorious dream that is.  I dream about judgment, and what is going to happen to me.  Today Monday I am full of dreams.  I even dreamed about tomorrow, Tuesday.

DAY 230 -- He is Full of Sending us Blessings, To Teach...

Two hundred and thirty days until we will receive our mission call.  At least that is our dream and our goal.  I have been writing on this blog for 135 days.  Though my math is not perfect, it is about one third the distance to arrive at  June 9 and our 40th anniversary.  (Actually more than 1/3 of the way)

We started out saying that we would be out of the debt we absorbed through owning that bowling alley in Brigham.  We would be healthy, more Spiritually prepared, less weight, more familiar with the scriptures, and better prepared. 

Well, we are making progress on our financial goals, since we continue to live with our son Sam and his wife and kids.  This will permit us to pay off our debt by June.  Thanks Sam and Tessa.  Bonnie is doing much to be physically fit to be ready to do whatever is required physically on our mission.  I am not.  I am trying to figure out how to resolve, eliminate another physical challenge to permit me to exercise and lose weight, and be in better shape.

I told Bonnie today that the apostle Paul had a thorn that he talked about.  He mentioned in his writings that he had asked Father to relieve him from his "thorn" in his side thrice, but Father had not chosen to relieve him from that ?obstacle?  I decided that no matter what, I would endure whatever thorn Father blesses me with, as long as I can serve a mission.  No, that is incorrect.  I will endure whatever "blessing" he gives me no matter what.

There was a time in my life when I was "blessed" with having many kidney stones.  Every six months or so, I had another one.  I endured went through all kinds of methods to rid one of kidney stones.  I had about nine to twelve stones.  That was what Father "blessed" me with in that portion of my life.  Then he blessed me with dislocated shoulders, twice on one side and once on the other side. Then he blessed me with one of the two biceps that I have in each arm detaching.  Then...

No, I am sorry for detailing those wonderful blessings.  They taught me lessons and I am grateful for them.  I am even (shudder) grateful for the one I have now, which prevents me from exercising or doing much in the way of losing weight or getting into better shape.  But I still have a little less than 8 months to work on it, right? 

I know that Father can do miracles, and it doesn't take him any time at all to do them, when/if He wants to do them.  I have recorded in this blog dreams, even large ones that I know He can grant, if He desires to do so.  I know He could relieve me from this thorn, IF He desires to do so.

Anyway, we are still on our way to realizing our dream by June 9, 2012.  Don't know exactly how, what path to take to get there, but we shall overcome, and arrive there to see what He has in store for us.

DAY 231 -- Comfort Those Who Stand in Need of Comfort

Well, the first CHIPS is over.  We had blood, throw up, and even messy diarrhea.  So next time we may limit it to either only those kids in diapers, or those over 60 years of age.  No, we had fun, but we did have some challenges, messes, and such.  One of my grand kids ate FOUR hot dogs, after much candy and nachos.  But he wasn't the one who threw up in the middle of the night.  It was one of the oldest.  Oh well...

We will have to let a little time go by before we evaluate it and make decisions about the second annual  or semi annual CHIPS.  It was good to see my grand kids playing with each other and supporting mom and I with different activities, etc.

I had a dream last night.  I was sitting in a circle of young ladies, Bonnie was across the circle from me and for some reason we were all sitting there listening to someone preaching.  I didn't have any idea who I was sitting next to.  All of a sudden, either as a half time song, or something I started humming, "I am a child of God."  The young girl, must have been in her twenties, looked across the circle and nodded to someone on the other side, glanced at me, and nodded again. As I continue to hum that hymn/song, she learned over an put her head on my shoulder.  I felt a strong impression to put my arm around her and then we all started singing, " I am a child of God"

I felt her start tensing up and finally started crying, sobbing as everyone sang that song.  I patted her a bit and smiled at her.  She continued to sob great tears.  Her sobbing and my singing went on for quite a time.  (Maybe she was sobbing cause I can't sing, or don't know the words?)  Then I woke up.  I asked Father what that meant, what meaning, what lesson I was supposed to learn.

Then I felt that sweet Spirit telling me that there are thousands, even more, of people in this world who need comfort.  Many of them I do not know, but none the less, they still need comfort, someone to comfort them, and help them endure through trials.  I remembered in  Mosiah Chapter 18 the scriptures that asks those who are ready to be baptised if they were ready to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.  I realized that comforting, even strangers, was an important goal I should have, even those I don't know.  I felt it was a message from Father.  Thus it is time for me to seek others and see if I can comfort them, according to Mosiah 18.  Guess I will be more aware of seeking where I can be of service and loving comfort. Are dreams - visions?  Some think so.

DAY 232 --- Grandmothers are Wonderful

Thank goodness for grandmas.  We had our first annual CHIPS tonight.  We usually have, yearly, our PIPS.  That stands for parent insanity prevention seminar.  We had all our kids get rid of their children, come to a place and spend the night.  We would eat well, play games, watch movies, and do whatever we felt like doing.  Well, we decided to have a CHIPS, or our CHildren's Insanity Prevention Seminar. We told our children that we would take all our grand children that were potty trained, and keep them for the night.  The parents were to have plans and enjoy each other while grandma and I spent the evening with the grand kids.

There are reasons why older people are grandparents.  They can usually get away from their loud, rowdy, rambunctious kids and grand kids.  Well, not tonight.  As my grand kids are all sacked out on the living room floor of my son's house, I am hiding in the other room, or maybe I should say I am writing this blog in the other room while grandma is watching over them all.  I am feeling grateful that half of this "wonderful" time is almost over.

Now don't get me wrong.  I love my grand kids.  However, you get them all together, give them games to play, put some sugar in them, and all of a sudden the peace, quiet, and the sanity of the group goes out the window.  I love them, but it is sure difficult for this grand father to play with them in their crazy games, enjoy their loud banter, and then spend lots of time trying to calm the tender feelings of the younger ones while the older ones seem to take pleasure in causing them to cry.

It is a great experience.  It is something that I will miss on our mission.  I will miss each of my grand kids.  But perhaps I will miss them one at a time, and not all together.  That is why I am so grateful for grandma.  She is so patient, loving understanding of all the noise, the problems, the yelling and screaming.  I am just an old fuddy duddy who is not appreciating the noise and all.

What a wonderful experience to have them all together. There were moments when they were all playing together well with each other, but there were other times when I kept looking at my watch.  If this is confession time, I will never admit to saying these things, but I am so grateful for grandma.  I certainly will miss them, but all at once, it is hard for me at least, to be with them too long.  Am I an impatient grandfather who is normal,or am I abnormal?  Wish I knew.  I just know that too many outings like this would age me faster, cause my head to split,and make me write longer and longer blog posts.

Day 233 -- It Is Totally Up To Me

It was a great idea, however...  When I started the day, though I had great plans to ask Father for constant communication as yesterday, Bonnie took me to work and we were later than usual.  So, in the car I was not able to talk with Father as I usually do.  I talked with my beautiful wife all the way to work, and that was wonderful, but I missed that special time with my loving Father.  Thus, I did not feel that constant presence of Father during the day. 

One time during the day, I paused and did feel that what I was doing was correct and wonderful, according to His plan.  But the rest of the day went as usual, without that "touch" of the divine.  I missed it.  As I sit here and write about this day, I know that if I was prepared, asked for it, that sweet feeling of comfort, peace, and knowledge that Father was near, would have been with me throughout the day.  So it was my fault. 

I believe it would be a great habit to prepare for that Spirit to be with me each day.  Then I could cope better, endure better, learn lessons faster, be a tool in Father's hands easily.  It is totally up to me.  If I would have spent more effort listening and feeling, I probably would have felt Father's presence.

So, tomorrow I am going to plead with Father again on the way to work to touch my mind constantly during the day so I can see His hand in many places during the day. 

It reminds me of that quote in a movie where one of the guys says that 90% of the people in the world walk around in a stupor, never seeing the things that are all around them, never seeing beauty, the hand of the Lord.  The other 10% walk around in total amazement throughout each day seeing miracles, beauty, the hand of the Lord, and being happy and joyful.

I want to be the 10%.  Tonight, my son in law and daughter suggested that I put a song on this blog playing while anyone reads it. They said I should put a song entitled, "Dream Big" on it.  It was sung by a Jody Durfee, or a Jackson Dempsey, or something like that and he sings with the rubber bands, or the elastics, or something like that.  As you can see, I am not too "up"  on remembering nor into rock bands names and such.  Anyway, he let me listen to the song, and it is a good song, teaches a great lesson.

Anyway, I do dream big and will continue to do so, as this blog bears witness of.  Dream Big, what have we got to lose. Don't know how much bigger I can dream unless I raise that amount to a couple of hundred thousand in the bank when we go on our mission.  Dream Big.

DAY 234 -- How To Make The Day Great, Receiving Inspiration Daily

Today was a great day.  As I was driving my 24 miles to work as I do daily, I was talking with Father.  I reiterated my morning prayers and reminded Father of the decision I made with His direction about not seeking another job.  I  explained to Father that I was exercising faith in Him and the blessings we desire.  I told Him about still planning on going on a mission in more than 200 days.  I softly asked that He would do something, or command me, or whisper to me what to do to resolve the financial challenge of not having money to serve.

Then, after we discussed those subjects, I decided that I would surely appreciate a few sweet "touches" from Father's hand.  In other words, I asked that during the day I would feel His influence in my life, His confirmation, or His love during the day.  I know that  He is constantly there and can, if He desires, give me inspiration daily, and as often as He wants. I asked Him to touch my Spirit a few times so I could feel that I was on the right track, that He knew where I was, what was happening in my life, and most importantly, I would feel His love for me.

That is why it was a great day.  As I arrived at work, I opened the front door as I always do and felt His touch.  He let me know that He is there and aware of me and what is happening.  I felt that influence, and it was wonderful.  Then during the day, I quietly asked him to touch my mind and help me memorize some of the music I am supposed to know for the group we sing in.  He did just that for as I passed over it a few times, I felt that I would learn it, that the Spirit would help me remember it, etc.  It was another witness from my Father. 

Then, one last time during the waning hours of the afternoon, I was trying to figure out how to solve a personnel problem and the insight what to say, and how to say what needed to be said to that employee. It turned out better than I thought it would, again bearing witness to me again of His attention to my every moment of life.  As I was confronted with that problem, I remembered my supplication on the way to work, said a private little prayer and received the inspiration I needed to handle that challenge.

As I finish off the day tonight, I must admit that this day was not full of the daily questioning of my present circumstances, financial challenges, decisions I did make and wondering if they were correct, nor any mental or Spiritual discomfort.  I attribute it to the few minutes I spent discussing with Father on the way to work asking for His inspiration during the day.  I attribute it to the desire to listen to His Spirit, His whispers into my attuned ears and heart.  I attribute it to the constant love Father has for me.  I would assume if I prepare myself each day, asking for that constant witness of His love and watch for it, the events of today could and should be an every day occurrence. 

DAY 235 -- The Correct-ness of Dreams

Why should we dream?  I just commented on the number of dreams I seem to have.  Elder Holland says we must dream.  But why?  Is there anything wrong about just not dreaming?  Are we escaping reality when we dream?  When someone accuses you with this, "you are just a dreamer," is that a criticism?  When most people say that to someone they are saying it with derision in the statement.  I have been accused of being a dreamer by many who are inwardly laughing that I do dream.

Many people say dreams are worthless. They say that one is trying to avoid realism, or the reality of the day. In many circles being a dreamer is an indication of those who cannot, or will not cope with today, and they are avoiding the acceptance of what is really happening. If someone is totally comfortable with events of their life, why dream of anything? Do I avoid facing the realities of life when I dream?  Am I trying to imagine another life, another set of circumstances because I am hiding, or avoiding reality?

The original dream that initiated this blog was a dream to be able to serve a mission with my wife.  Those who have served a mission will understand when I say that serving the Lord full time as a missionary is rich with Spiritual blessings, joy, love of others, being on His errand, etc.  What dream can be greater than serving with your Eternal Companion serving full time as His emissaries in a foreign land? Am I avoiding reality when I dream of that glorious day?  Or am I using Divine Inspiration considering the distinct possibilities of serving with Bonnie? 

My additional goal/dream of having sufficient money in the bank so we can serve without being a burden to others, is that dream avoiding reality?  Perhaps... Is that dream wrong?  NO.  When I pause to consider my dreams and hopes, they cannot be wrong.  I return again and again to Elder Holland's comments that, "we must take every opportunity to dream dreams and see visions..."

In checking out the posts of the past, I have treated this subject often.  What does that mean? Am I trying to convince myself of the value of dreams?  Or even the purpose of dreams?  Why dream? Are we better people when we have a few dreams?  Can having dreams change our life?  Will it draw us close to the Spirit or Holy Ghost?  What are dreams good for?  Is it wrong to imagine what "could" happen in our future and be comforted to know that things "could" get better in our lives?

I believe in dreams.  I trust that Father knows of our dreams and will grant many of them to us.  Dreaming coupled with faith and hope can create a very strong power to bring those dreams to pass.  I have been a dreamer all my life.  That is perhaps one of the reasons why I have started so many businesses, dreaming of possibilities.  Dreams are good, are sanctioned by Father, and will be a blessing to us through our life, I am sure.

DAY 236 --- Faith Can Move Mountains, What Else Can It do?

When I published this blog stating that I would not be checking into or even considering that other job, I had quite a few question my sanity.  They were suggesting that this new job would be a great way to start realizing one of those dreams.  I mean, we have planned on going on a mission for many years and now have it within about 236 days.  I have shared that we will not have any money to go on our mission.  Thus my new goal of having $50,000 in the bank when we go.  It was also pointed out to me that by refusing that other better paying job, I would also be eliminating the possibility of having health insurance.

Now I know that many of my readers of this blog don't figure that this is really anything important.  But when you get to be as old as we are, and when you get to start feeling rigor mortise setting up house in your body, and when almost every move you make seems to be wrought with pain somewhere, and when more and more parts of the body refuse to do what you command them to do, then health insurance becomes more and more important. 

I paused today at work and for a tiny minute thought about what it would be like having health insurance and being paid more and saving for our mission beyond just getting out of debt.  But it was just for a minute.  Then I recalled to my heart the feeling of confirmation I felt as I finally decided that I would remain where I am now.  That sweet feeling that I was making the decision that Father directed was a very strong comfort to my soul. 

Now please don't even start to think that I am forgetting that goal of earning $50,000 to have in our bank at the time when we do receive our mission call.  Yes, that other job would have been a good start toward that goal.  But if we do Father's will now, He will bless us with what we desire if it is His will.  I still have the faith that He will grant unto us that blessing.

You see, I could go see the bishop and say to the bishop that we need to serve in the lowest costing mission.  But it is another of my goals to be able to say to the bishop that we will serve where the Lord wants us to serve, no matter the required money.  I want to tell the bishop that we will serve as long as He desires us to serve, including twenty four months.

When I pause to consider all the dreams and goals we have, perhaps I should feel that I ask too much from Father.  I don't feel that way.  My faith is still strong and I know that Father can, if He will, bless us with every single dream mentioned here as well as more. He is our Father and wants us to be happy, pleased and blessed with those things we pray for.  Too many blessings, never.   

DAY 237 -- On The Other Hand....

On the other hand.  No, not that hand, nor the other one, but the third hand.  Didn't know I had three hands did you?  Well, I have been thinking again.  Where is my heart?  What motivates?  What are my Gods? 

Yesterday I was in Brigham with my daughter.  She asked me to help turn off her water for the year.  I went out, tried to turn it off, found a problem and somehow I destroyed the Stop and Waste valve, six feet below the surface. The result was that she has no water in her house until someone digs six feet down, and then fixes the valve.  It was Saturday night and nothing to do about digging the hole, so she left her house and went to her husband's family's house.  Have you ever tried to live in a house without water?  Can't be done.  When I volunteered to pay for digging the hole Monday, she argued about it.  They don't have any money, since they just finished paying off expenses of having their second child.  She was concerned because she knows we are saving to go on a mission and that money would slow us down in our plans.

I just started to smile.  Satan sure knows how to hit you where it counts.  It is just another "opportunity of growth" and I see that.  My poor daughter, having been displaced, seeing a major expense to return to her own home, knowing her own father will pay for it, but destroying our plans of getting out of debt, or at least slowing them down.  Then I started to laugh.  Is money my God?

I have an opportunity of changing jobs and drastically increasing my income to further our goal toward a mission.  Is money my God?  Just this last week I decided that money and time were so insignificant that I should not let any time issues nor money issues get in the way of my decisions.  I will pay for my daughter to return to her home by fixing her water problem.  Is money my God? 

If I have to lose every last penny I have, get thrown off my goal to go on a mission, postpone my date of June 2012, if I have to even lose my present job, money  is NOT my God.  Father can look into my heart and see that I hold other things  more dearly than my bank account, my scarce money, and my potential to earn it. 

I have a great  deal of loyalty to my present boss.  I am making a small difference in his office, his goals and my dedication to his dreams (and even mine) is so much stronger than the insignificance of money that the higher paying job will go on without me.  (Decision made.)

Father knows exactly what happened Saturday Night, and also knows my loyalty to my boss.  He knows my goals and dreams.  There is nothing to hard for the Lord.  If it is His will, we will realize our goals:  a mission in June?, a large amount in my bank account to start our mission, as well as so many other dreams I have printed in this blog.  On the other hand, I leave it all in the hands of the Lord, without worry, money is not my God, I continue to learn lessons, period. In the scriptures He stated that there is enough and to spare, but it is His to give in His time.  He was talking about that elusive item called money.  He uses it to teach all of us lessons.  Is Money our God?

DAY 238 -- Reasons for this Blog

It is sure interesting to me how the Lord works with us.  I am constantly trying to be dedicated to the work I do 40 plus hours each week.  I am good at what I do, and that is providing for us a slow way of getting out of debt.  What a blessing.  I enjoy what I do, for it is an opportunity of meeting and getting to know  people from all over the world.  I believe I was sent there as a means to work toward our mission.

Since creating a new goal to have money in the bank for when we leave on our mission, I have commented that I have to pursue every opportunity that is presented to me.  I mean, as I stated a few days ago, plagiarizing what is said in the Book of Mormon, "by small things are great things brought to pass,"  I feel I have to check everything out.  Who's to know if one of those small opportunities that are placed in front of me is the one thing that will turn into a great thing? 

So I have to pursue everything.  If Father gives me a small thing to pursue that may result in our $50,000 and I don't check it out, He will question my dedication to realizing this dream, right?  Will He continue to try and help me?  Or will He decide that I am not earnest and give up on me?

Since I have started over 60 businesses, I have much experience in failing, and a little in succeeding.  But I need to use that experience in what I daily do.  I also spend a few minutes each day pondering what possible "little things" that I should pursue.  Father has eight months to help us realize that dream.  He can do it all in short order, so I am trying to practice patience, knowing that even little things can turn into blessings rapidly and with little time.

I was asked why I am doing this blog.  I have to reconsider that.  I feel it is a good thing to pause every day and consider if we are progressing daily toward our goal of serving a mission or two.  I also feel it good to pause and record thoughts, ideas, and where I am each day.  Still thinking of it?  Of course, but this blog helps me recommit every day to the end result coming in 238 days. 

Those few who read it, and comment on it, I thank you for that which is another things that also keeps me going, keeps me writing every day, and keeps this goal in my mind vibrant and alive.  It also gives me a moment to review the day, the last few days and record thoughts, frustrations and even any progress, or lessons I am learning. 

I am learning many, for the period of our life living where we do, working where we do, is all combining to prepare us for what is coming. Thanks for reading and responding, keeping me active in this goal to record every day.  LOTS OF GOALS, right?

DAY 239 -- What is Money? Why, How Much?

Often I consider my quest for sufficient money to support us on a mission to be in ill taste. Or perhaps I should say because of my life, seeing what money has done even to some of those that I love and trust, I can't help but question if my goal, dream is "good" in Father's eyes.

I know, I have mentioned this before in this blog.  Is the pursuit of money good?  As I have thought of this again and again, I am not after riches.  Riches to me means someone wants money to be rich?  What does it mean to be rich?  One who can purchase everything he wants when he wants it.  Is that rich?  I mean rich as pertaining to money, not blessings.  I am sure most of us feel blessed and even rich with reference to blessings.  Me above all, I am rich according to blessings.

But then I consider that phrase, "Sufficient for our needs."  I guess that would be discussed and argued between many people also.  In Mosiah, it talks about having our needs AND WANTS met.  That brings up another question, what about wants?  I am sure I am just skirting the issue about riches, wants, needs, and sufficient for our needs and wants.  

To continue...  Some would say that Bonnie and I do not have sufficient for our needs.  We are living under the roof of my son and his wonderful wife.  We have chosen to live with them for the time being because of their compassion to open their doors and let us live with them.  So do we have sufficient for our needs.  Is rent included in needs?  Is a house to live in a need?  Do we have needs met?  In a way, yes, in a way no.

On the one hand, we have sufficient for our needs because our kids let us live there to help us get out of debt and prepare for our upcoming mission. So we have that need met.  If they decided to kick us out of their home, would our needs be met?  Our other children would cast lots and see whoever lost would have to take us in, I suppose.

Is food a need?  I would think so.  Eating is required to live, and thus a need.  Now what we eat could come under the strict discussion if it was a need or a want. Is chocolate a need or a want?  Is transportation a need or a want?  How about a second car?  There are many differing opinions about that.

To conclude this day, I feel we do have sufficient for our needs.  I feel our needs (as we judge them) are not extravagant.  I feel that I do not wish for "riches."  I just wish for having more than just sufficient for our needs, having enough to serve the Lord as missionaries.  Does that make sense?  As you can see, I continue to think about, argue in my mind about, and question that crazy thing that is involved in every one's life in mortality, MONEY. I wonder how important money will be when our Savior judges us about needs, wants, and giving it to others, how we "treasure" our money.  We will be held accountable for our time, what about our money?

DAY 240 -- Faith

Often I need to pause and offer gratitude to those who are behind us.  No, not those behind us, but those who are supporting us, urging us, interested in this blog, and letting us live with them, and even praying for us.  There are many who ask how we are doing with a honest desire to find out how we are progressing, (or are we) and if we are still on the path.

There are many.  Of course my family, but there are many friends who know of our dream and our plans to serve in 240 days.  I don't know if we could do it without the support and those behind us. 

I still don't know for sure how we shall be supported out there somewhere in the world serving the Lord in the location of His choice, but I know we will, if it is Father's will.  There is no doubt.  There is still lots of time for miracles to happen, lotteries to be won, and money to come down to us from Heaven and there is a tree that grows the golden eggs that I have not found yet.

As we continue to pursue this dream, there is a great deal of faith that has to be present.  I mean, anything can happen to us along the way.  Miracles as well as catastrophes, blessings as well as trials can happen.  It will be how we cope, learn from, and grow from.

Faith must be present for us to keep on keeping on.  I believe that is true in any endeavor that any of us undertake.  If we are serious in making dreams or goals, we surely need a heavy dose of faith to carry us along.  Faith is believe in things not seen.  We certainly do not see the exact path to trod to get to June 9.  But we know the general direction, and with faith in every footstep, or faith in what we do every day, we shall continue along the path.  But Faith must be here.

DAY 241 --- Small and Simple Things

By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.  Great things would be $50,000 in my bank account for serving at least one mission.  By small things "can" great things happen.

I guess I could run up to Idaho and purchase a lottery ticket.  I guess I could waste a tank of gas or two and run over to Wendover and put in one quarter and win that amount.  I guess I could be approached by someone I haven't see for a very long time, have then ask what I am doing, ask what I was seeking when I was looking for a job, and have him tell me that he might be able to give me a job paying me more along the lines of my 40 years experience, half of which were in engineering.  I guess another small thing would be for me to work two jobs for only a small amount of time until June next year.

Just because I read the scripture in the Book of Mormon about small and simple things doesn't mean I have the opportunity of choosing the small or simple thing that will result in that great thing.  Nor does it give me the privilege of dictating the timing of those small and simple things. 

I continue to open my mind every day to listen to whisperings, for contact from Father and the Holy Ghost to tell me where to go, what to do, and what to pursue to find that small and simple thing.  I haven't found it yet, but that doesn't mean I won't.  Our Father is teaching me many lessons daily, preparing me for something, or just preparing me to be more worthy of His kingdom.  He of course could answer all of my petitions, when and if He wants to.  I just have to assure I am patient, listen all the time, and follow up on any small or simple thing.

I know unseen things are happening that will influence my life in the near future (eight months).  I don't know what, but I know something is happening at the hands of Father that will touch us.  Patience, and we shall see one day soon.  (Soon means in the BOM - 80 years.)

NOTE:  Last night I had a dream.  Brother Hansen called and said that the Stake President wanted to see me in the Stake Offices on Wednesday at 7:14.  I don't even know a brother Hansen.  Anyway, that was interesting, and I remember it very clearly.  A Dream?  I undigested potato?  A nightmare?  Who knows.  Perhaps one day I will know.  But perhaps not.   

DAY 242 --- Counsel With Him In Everything

I was told I am too hard on myself.  I don't believe that.  Sorry Joe.  But I feel that everyone has a battle and or struggle every day between the forces of evil and the influences of good. Everyone can choose to be good or be bad.  Or even to ignore the feelings of contentment and Spirit, or they can go through the motions and just endure each day.

As I have shared before here, our Stake President said that we should every day feel the influence of the Spirit, or every day we should receive revelations.  He asked, "Do we have a loving Father in Heaven that loves us on certain days, on days that end in y or some other letter."  He really didn't say that, but it felt good to write it.  But the fact of the matter is, we do have a Father that never ends watching over us, caring about us, and desiring that we would be worthy of His influence.  He is ready to shower upon us great blessings, great insights, and direction so we can indeed realize dreams.

So, yesterday, I did not feel His Spirit within my soul or my heart.  I endured the day.  It was not a good day, nor a bad day.  It was just a day.  So, you are asking about today.

Well as I started my day, I discussed this idea with  my Father.  I explained to Him that I thought each of His children should touch bases with Him each day and feel of His direction each day.  I told Him I would be watching for His "touch" today.

So, in my morning reading I read Alma 37:37 where we are commanded to counsel with Him in ALL our doings.  And then it promises that He will direct us.  If we counsel with Him in ALL our doings each day, the I am sure we should be touching bases with Him every day.  We would even be feeling His Spirit, His love, His concern for us through all our actions.

YES, I have felt His influence today in a feeling of comfort that He knows where I am and what I am doing.  He is aware of me and my goals and dreams.  He even directed me in a few things I had to say to those with whom I work.  He was present.  So today was not just enduring it was communing with Father.  It was a day of communication with Father, a day when I knew He loved me, and He know where I was and what I was doing.  Shouldn't every day be?

DAY 243 --- Going Through The Motions

Today at work, I found myself going through the motions, doing what everyone expected me to do.  I felt fine, doing what I felt I needed to do.  No one got mad at me.  No one yelled at me.  I just went about the day, doing what was expected.

As my work day ended, I went home to a loving wife and once again did what I was supposed to do. We went to the church to clean it, for it was our turn.  I just did as I was told.  There were no problems, no catastrophes,  no accidents, and nothing to write home to mom about. (Since she is no longer on earth, that would be quite a challenge, but not impossible?)

Then as I sit and ponder about the day, I feel it was a failure.  Why?  Because I did not feel the influence of the Holy Ghost.  I did not feel the love of my Father in Heaven.  I did not feel that peace and joy that is given to those who deserve it.

It was just a day, like so many others.  In my opinion, it was a day of failure.  Why can't we always feel the love our Father has for us?  Why can't hope and peace flood our minds and help us be joyful, outgoing, concerned about others rather than just have a "day, like so many others?"

What is the key to be blessed with the Spirit of Father?  What is the key to have the Holy Ghost come into our lives each day?  What is the key to feel excited about our life rather than complacent, bored, and just going through the motions?

I hope when we get on a mission, since we will be in the service of our God, we will feel that joy, that excitement about what we are doing, and who we are doing it for.  I know it is possible today, without waiting for a mission to feel those feelings off comfort and joy.  If I don't, it is totally my fault.  Guess I better find out why, for my last few days at work have been going through the motions with little or no Spirit in my life.

DAY 244 --- Dreams All Around Me

It is interesting that as I have wrapped my brain around the concept of working towards dreams, I seem to hear things constantly that refer to dreams, visions, goals, and aspirations.  Perhaps before I thought of these dreams, I was hearing, but not hearing the same things. 

Today, I heard Lloyd Newel say in the Tabernacle Choir's program:  "Make firm dreams, and then be flexible."  He continued that circumstances change.  People change.  Many things change that would require being flexible in "FIRM DREAMS." 

So I looked at our dreams about which this blog is written.  We are firm in our goals, dreams, but must be flexible.  During the first 120 days, or about one third of the time of this dream, nothing has changed that would urge us to be flexible in our dreams.  That isn't to say that it won't, but it has not yet.

If things change, I am sure we would be more than willing to be flexible and modify our dream, and even change it.

Today in Church, our bishop (Or maybe it was in Sunday School, I don't remember)  said that our faith coupled with prayer brings power.  Many examples were cited where one person with faith, and with prayers performed many miracles, all of which were blessing to those around them;  Parting of the Red Sea, the prison walls came tumbling down, the conversion of Alma, etc.

I still believe in miracles, in realizing dreams, and in arriving at our goals.  We are one third there, still on track, and working toward their realization.  Some aspects of the dream are not as far along as I would like, but I have two thirds to work on that, right?

Father would have us have dreams.  He would have us set goals that are difficult to achieve.  He would have us dream of better times, of overcoming challenges, of learning the lessons that are currently being taught us, and growing for the experience. 

I will continue to listen, note and learn from all the miracles, goals, dreams, and visions that surround me.

DAY 245 --- Where Do Dreams (night-time) Come From?

Where do dreams come from?  Not the kind we have been talking about, dreaming of going on a mission and such.  But where do dreams come from that you have while sleeping?  At times they just pop up about someone we haven't seen for many years.  Then there are those nightmares, those that wake us up and cause us to perspire.  Sometimes they come from input experienced during the previous day. 

Last night I dreamed three different dreams I was going on a mission, alone.  I dreamed, woke up, went back to sleep and dreamed again I was going on a mission and repeated it again.  THREE TIMES.  They were different dreams, but all about me going on a mission.  Some times, in the Book of Mormon, Lehi dreamed a dream, and Nephi, recording it said, "In other words he saw a vision."  I know I am paraphrasing it.  But I know that at times we are given dreams as visions, or as inspiration.

Was mine last night a vision?  In one of the dreams I remember talking to Bonnie and telling her that I was confused because the Church doesn't often call married men to go on a mission without their wife.  I was packing, getting ready to go and felt it strange.  We were discussing what she was going to do while I was gone.  We were accepting the call and preparing for it.  Crazy.

The next dream, I remember leaving our singing practice one night and said to a fellow singer, "See you in two years."  He laughed and I added, "No, you think I am kidding, right?"  He stopped laughing and we parted ways.  I felt sorrow that I would not be singing in this years concerts.

In the third dream, I was excited about going, and started thinking about having a companion of 20 years old, being my senior, telling me, slightly older than 20, what to do.  I knew I was well versed in Spanish, and I probably knew more than he did, but he was going to be my senior.  I was excited, but wondered how that would work out, or would it.  I remember it being the day before I was leaving, still wondering if it was "right" and what it meant, leaving my Bonnie, and my family...

Now, can anyone tell me if that was a nightmare, or a vision, or somewhere in between!  Where to dreams come from, and what, if anything, do they mean?  Or in a popular movie, someone asked if a dream was "an undigested potato?"  Potato, vision, nightmare, just entertainment,  or something to blog about? Wish I knew.

DAY 246 -- Patience, for He Knows Where We Are and What We Desire

Today, as I drove to work, I pondered again about our upcoming mission in eight months.  I got excited.  It will be so fun to serve with Bon as my companion.  As I think of the path to get there, I don't know exactly where the path will lead, but I know that is where we are headed. 

As I thought about serving my next mission with Bonnie, I felt a strong peace come over my mind and a comfort.  The peace is knowing that Father sanctions our goal, or pursuing this dream.  Because it is Father's will that we do as we are doing, we must exercise faith.  With my new goal of finding, or earning, or doing something to find that $50,000, I can still feel peace and faith in Father.

As I arrived at work, I felt frustrated because of the money I am not making working there.  I worked a full day, touched lives, strengthened a few and left work.  Before I left work, Sam called.  I hung up on him.  Actually I didn't know it was ringing and by touching the right/wrong button, it was disconnected. So Sam returned the call and there was a man who wanted to talk to me.  Sam was clueless what he wanted.  

So I called him and he wants a hard money loan.  I checked into it a bit, and it is something that we will investigate.  This guy needs at least $50,000. So I suggested that we lend this guy $50,000 and charge him $50,000.  That would have been a way to earn my $50,000.  It would not seem that lending someone fifty K and charging him $50 K would be possible, but nothing is too hard for the Lord.  (Please understand that I am truly smiling as I suggest that.  But miracles happen???) 

Anyway, we will check it out and see if it is even a possibility.  There might be a few dollars if we get him to borrow the money.  But of course we know not where to find that kind of spare change to lend him.  Monopoly Money?  Oh well, it was another dream, but this one is far from reality.  But didn't we agree that dreaming things far from reality was OK?

In truth, I place my faith in Father to direct, inspire and comfort us in our journey towards June 9, next year.

DAY 247 -- Where Can I Turn For Peace

As I pursue our goal of earning enough money to support us on a mission, I often question.  When I suffer setback after setback in striving to find an alternate, additional method of earning money, I often get a bit depressed thinking I am not doing enough.  As I realize that dream is so far away, I start to lose hope.  When I consider how others responded as they heard about my new dream, I re-evaluate the path I have chosen to follow.

I know what I posted yesterday that I can do all things with the Lord's help.  But today, nothing was done.  Yesterday, ideas and efforts were for naught.  Yes, I can do all things, but I have not been doing anything to further approach that goal.

Then I pause.  Every time I consider the lack of progress, lack of success, and start feeling fearful, or depressed, I need to remember where I need to turn for peace.  How many scriptures have I quoted in the past about peace?  How often as a High Counselor did I preach to the audience how they have the privilege of receiving the peace Christ can give them if they ask.

I know all about how easy it is to forget where to find peace.  I know that fear is the opposite of faith.  Faith gives us peace.  In D & C 6, a scripture I need to remember says, "Doubt not, fear not."  Those who are heavy laden, He will give them peace.  Those who believe that He is aware, He is controlling events, He is dictating the whens of things, their faith is strong and they can feel peace in Him.

When I feel lonely and a failure in this goal, I am doubting Father's interest in my life and His ability to answer prayers, help people realize dreams, and especially give  peace.  Where can I turn for Peace?  All I have to do is remember the covenant I make each Sunday to always remember Him, and the peace will come.  He is always there, but it is me who is the one going further away from my Savior.  How do I turn to Him?  I need to remember all He has done, all he can do, and will do for me, even if I am losing faith and not feeling peace. 

I've got to turn to Him, leave it all in His hands and as long as I do all I can do, then I will be given peace, feel hope and have the faith I need to cope with each day.  The first step is kneeling and talking to Him.

DAY 248 -- Lessons of Ammon and His Brothers

When I posted last night about Ammon and his gratitude for Father's help in converting so many Lamanites, he said he was nothing, that his strength was weak, but in the strength of Father, he could do all things.  I have been pondering about that story all day long. 

I continue to pursue different possibilities to realize my dream of 50K.  I "listen" to whispers from Father.  I follow up every thought, every possibility, and every little concept that could turn into a great blessing.  I pause to  look at them and can't help but wonder...

My mind flows back to where Ammon and his brethren started out their mission to the Lamanites.  They began slowly.  It took quite a while to be successful.  In fact, it took about fourteen years to realize their dream of converting many, many brethren from their enemies who they had fought many times.  Most of these missionaries lived through prison, being rejected, spit upon, etc.  They followed what they thought was right in trying to preach the truth and were met with utter failure and even persecution. 

But they didn't give up.  They continued to try no matter the obstacle.  While they were naked and in jail, deprived of food, etc, I would assume they were depressed, knowing that they were doing the Lord's mission to some of His lost sons and daughters. I am sure they felt like Joseph Smith when he started out D and C section 121, "Oh God, where art thou?"   Finally they were released and permitted to preach the gospel.

As I continue to pursue my mission to prepare for our mission financially, I need to learn the lesson of these brethren.  It isn't always easy.  It isn't always without heart break, disappointment, failure, and obstacles.  But it should be without losing sight of the ultimate goal.  No matter how long, how difficult, how many detractors, or mountains to climb, I must keep working toward that goal, either until we arrive, or until those sweet whispers from Father tell us to change our goal and dream.  Hopefully, it won't take the 14 years it took them.  The key is not to give up, keep trying, and rest if need be, but get up and fight again. 

DAY 249 --- I Know That I am Nothing...

I just read another one of my favorite scriptures in Alma 26:12.  This is when the four sons of Mosiah met up with Alma.  Ammon starts to praise God, the work everyone has done, and feel great joy.  His brother Aaron starts to criticize him and he replies, "Yeah, I know that I am nothing, as to my strength I am weak, ....for in His strength I can do all things..."

I can do all things!  Does that mean that I can earn $50,000 in eight months?  I know I can.  I just don't know how.  I have many possibilities, and they are all just small deals.  I have to keep my mind attuned  to listen for Father can direct me where to go and what to do to realize that dream.

I pursued the idea about getting someone to help find mortgages, and that one, thus far, is sort of failing.  I will keep trying in that avenue and hopefully I can be successful there.  There are four people interested in representing our mortgage company. But they don't seem too motivated.

I have a brother in the ward contact me and tell me he may have something for me.  We have not talked, but that will come later.  I keep thinking that I need to find another job that will provide an added income.  When I have time, I will check into that.

My full time job often takes first position and I do not have the time to pursue anything else.  Again, Father knows that, knows our dream, and could easily help us realize that dream.  But He could also decide that I have to work 24 hours each day to earn anything near that amount.

As each day goes by, it is refreshing to recall Elder Holland's comments in conference about needing missionaries.  It is exciting to try to imagine the day in June when we receive our call.  Every time I hear, or sing "Called to Serve" I get this big lump in my throat and even start to tear up.  I can't wait to serve. 

DAY 250 -- Many Ideas, Which Ones Should I Pursue?

I am a dreamer.  That is one of the reasons for this blog.  I am always dreaming.  My mind creates possibilities out of every idea I find.  That is why when I say that my life will change.  I need to have Father with me constantly so when I get an idea, I will be able know if it is from Father, or it is not.  I feel I have to pursue each one until I know.

You see, by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.  Therefore, let me list some of the ideas I have been thinking about.  I have been pursuing the idea of marketing Capital Assets, or the mortgage company my son is working.  If I can find account representatives, if they can find those who want to get a mortgage, I can earn some money for referring my account reps to Sam.  That is one idea.

Another idea, when I have time is, I am going to see if I can find a second job.  I can always work a second job to make a dent in that major dream we have.  I could find a part time job to add to our finances.

Another idea would be to sell my daughter.  I know, she probably wouldn't bring in too much.  (Sorry Misty.)  No, I mean I could sell her ability and talent of being a graphic designer.  She creates wedding announcements and anything else.  She also makes beautiful bows and baby things.  I know that won't bring in much either, but it will help in this dream.

I have written a few books and have a few manuscripts that are awaiting their final resting place.  I could pursue finding someone to publish one or many of them.  That also will help.

Another thing would be to pursue that counseling idea my sister gave me.  Another thing would be waiting to the person in my ward who suggested that he might have something for me.  I also have thought about consulting with businesses that need marketing ideas. 

You see, I have many ideas in my mind, and as I feel impressed to pursue any of them, I shall run after them.  Father will direct me where to go, what to do, and how to make progress on this dream. 

I have other stewardships that come first, but beyond them, I told Father that I am ready, willing and able to do whatever He directs.

Day 251 -- Time Will Provide Answers

Conference was a total joy.  I listened with concentrated attention to see if Father would answer my inquiry.  The opening hymn of the afternoon session was one of my favorite.  "Consider the lilies of the field..."  The gist of that beautiful song is, those who trust in Him will be taken care of.  There are other lessons, but that is one that stuck out as I listened to it, enjoyed it, and felt it.

We were told that there are blessings that Father wants to give us, they are just waiting until we are inspired enough to ask for them.  So, why not ask for $50,000 to use to serve as missionaries when the Lord, through His servants, asks for more Senior Missionaries.  One brother challenged that after we pray, asking for blessings, we need to get up and go to work. 

As I realized yesterday or the day before, this change in my life requires that I am in partnership with my Father.  Any whispered insight that comes into my mind, I must follow.  I have not acted on other direct inspiration when I received it, and later was very sorry I did not.  So as I work with Father to bring to pass all those blessings He has in store for us, I need to react to all things.

I know that any time during the day or night, Father can direct me, can inspire me what I should pursue, who I should talk to, and where I should go to realize this dream.  I felt through conference that if I did not pursue this dream and work toward realizing it, I would be sorry in the days to come. 

I did not get the answer that I would indeed realize my dream of having that money in the bank when called on our mission.  But I did get the answer that I should pursue it.  I did get the inspiration that in traveling down that road toward having that dream come true, I would know it was His will.  I will experience miracles, confirmation that we are doing what is right,  we are following His direction, and we will be blessed because of it.

I still bear witness that our dream of the coming 251 days is Divinely inspired and we are doing as directed by our Father.  And as we expand that dream to include another one, I also feel divinely inspired to do so.  Where it will take us, time will tell. Lessons will be learned.  I am ready.

DAY 252 --- Conference, Day One

Tonight in Priesthood Meeting Elder Holland, who was the one with the quote on my head page about dreaming dreams and seeing visions, preached on serving missions.  He challenged the youth to be prepared and serve missions.  He said that we need tens of thousands more missionaries.

Then he also said that we need thousands more couples to serve a mission.  As you can imagine, that helped excited me even more about going on a mission.  He was cute in how he said we need more missionaries, especially old ones like us.

Elder Holland reiterated that Father knows the intents of the heart and who can, and will serve Him.  So I should get hopping and earning that money.

Also, I need to explain that no matter how much I have, or don't have come June, I plan on inviting my kids and grand kids to help support Grandma and grandpa serving a mission.  I know that will be a great experience for them all.  There is something magical about supporting a missionary.  Blessings are abundant and lessons are gleaned by those involved.

I am still waiting until after tomorrow in conference to finally decide where I need to go to earn that dreams I shared with all a few days ago. Thus far, through one day of conference, I feel it is good and a "GO".