Often I consider my quest for sufficient money to support us on a mission to be in ill taste. Or perhaps I should say because of my life, seeing what money has done even to some of those that I love and trust, I can't help but question if my goal, dream is "good" in Father's eyes.
I know, I have mentioned this before in this blog. Is the pursuit of money good? As I have thought of this again and again, I am not after riches. Riches to me means someone wants money to be rich? What does it mean to be rich? One who can purchase everything he wants when he wants it. Is that rich? I mean rich as pertaining to money, not blessings. I am sure most of us feel blessed and even rich with reference to blessings. Me above all, I am rich according to blessings.
But then I consider that phrase, "Sufficient for our needs." I guess that would be discussed and argued between many people also. In Mosiah, it talks about having our needs AND WANTS met. That brings up another question, what about wants? I am sure I am just skirting the issue about riches, wants, needs, and sufficient for our needs and wants.
To continue... Some would say that Bonnie and I do not have sufficient for our needs. We are living under the roof of my son and his wonderful wife. We have chosen to live with them for the time being because of their compassion to open their doors and let us live with them. So do we have sufficient for our needs. Is rent included in needs? Is a house to live in a need? Do we have needs met? In a way, yes, in a way no.
On the one hand, we have sufficient for our needs because our kids let us live there to help us get out of debt and prepare for our upcoming mission. So we have that need met. If they decided to kick us out of their home, would our needs be met? Our other children would cast lots and see whoever lost would have to take us in, I suppose.
Is food a need? I would think so. Eating is required to live, and thus a need. Now what we eat could come under the strict discussion if it was a need or a want. Is chocolate a need or a want? Is transportation a need or a want? How about a second car? There are many differing opinions about that.
To conclude this day, I feel we do have sufficient for our needs. I feel our needs (as we judge them) are not extravagant. I feel that I do not wish for "riches." I just wish for having more than just sufficient for our needs, having enough to serve the Lord as missionaries. Does that make sense? As you can see, I continue to think about, argue in my mind about, and question that crazy thing that is involved in every one's life in mortality, MONEY. I wonder how important money will be when our Savior judges us about needs, wants, and giving it to others, how we "treasure" our money. We will be held accountable for our time, what about our money?
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