Saturday June 30, Day 21 since June 9, day two in preparation...

I started this blog June 9, 2011, counting down the days until our 40th anniversary.  We were assuming we could have a call, and even possibly be out in the mission field by then.  It came and went.  Then I started counting up, waiting for our call.  Finally it came 19 days after our anniversary, on June 28th.  Once again I pause to consider the reason I write in this blog.   We have followed Elder Holland's counsel printed on the face of this blog, to dream dreams and see visions, and work toward them.

As I have pondered, here are the reasons I have written this blog: 1.  Count down the time to our anniversary.  2.  Record the efforts in preparation  of a mission.  3.  Count the miracles we witnessed along the way.  4.  Let my kids specifically, and anyone else who reads this, know of my feelings, insights, and struggles with life, with waiting, and with preparation.  5.  Perhaps help others who are considering a mission to know the steps of moving toward a mission.  6.  Efforts in working toward a dream or vision. 7. See and often note the influence of the adversary trying to thwart our progress toward being missionaries.

Most of those sieven purposes are not totally accomplished as of yet.  Perhaps now I should count down again until the day when we can actually be a missionary, or September 3, the day we enter the MTC.  I will ponder this question as we experience a Fast Sunday tomorrow.  If any reader has an input, please send it to me by a comment or wnp@xmission.com.

There is still so much to do to get ready for this mission. Our preparation is not completed, in fact much of it is just beginning.

+ DAY 20 --- Dominican Republic Santiago, CES Specialists

It was hard to sleep last night.  The wait is partially over.  Now we wait until September 3.  My nephew's parents are going to California and they leave in October.  Interesting.  Glad we don't have to wait more than two months.

I woke up and thought about what "CES Specialists" means.  Will we be teaching others to teach institute, or teaching institute ourselves?  Will we be setting up institutes in different parts of the country?. Or will we be doing things we have no idea about?  Bonnie is excited about learning Spanish.  The mission call did not say anything about speaking Spanish, but I would assume that my ability or once-ability to speak Spanish entered into their decision.

The opening of our call last night was very riotous.  Everyone excited, jumping up and down, and even a few tears.  Our call was signed by the prophet.  It was wonderful.

There is much to do.  We started listing it last night and got tired doing so.  We read through the booklet they  send telling about the mission and were excited, but know that more will come as we approach the departure date.  Actually, September 3 we enter the Language Center, but don't know how long we shall stay there. Our mission president will be new, starting July 1.  He has been trained this past month and will be learning the ropes as we arrive.

We went to the eye doctor and have to go see a specialist for Bonnie's eyes.  Something is happening within her head to one of her eyes.  It may be something that we have to take care of before we go. More preparation.  Now we have to decide what to do with our car.  Many decisions to be made.

This blog started June 9 last year as a count down until we could go on a mission.  One year and twenty days passed and now we are on the track to leave in a bit more than two months.  I tried to report about all things pertaining to our plan, our goal and our dream.  We have our call, but our vision of serving is not hear. Do I quit writing this blog now, since we have our call?  I will have to think about that.  But really, it is not completed yet.  We have much to do.  We have many miracles to see and experience as we continue to move toward our serving as missionaries.  For we are not missionaries yet, but we do have a path set before us and are at least aware of where that path will take us.

So, I guess I will continue on this blog for a time, at least.  The preparation is not done, the miracles have not ceased, and our experiences are continuing.  We still are dreaming a dream to serve as missionaries in Dominican Republic in some form of CES.

My son said last night that my "lease" living with him would be expiring on August 20th.  That is when we moved in two years ago.  Have to see what we do with another contract, or see if we can find a short term contract.  Or perhaps he would allow us to extend our contract for a few weeks?

Yes, we are excited, can't wait, and will do much research into our field of labor, but probably will not know much until we get there.

+++ DAY 19 ++++ IT CAME ++++++++++++++++

Well, we are finally missionaries.  Sort of.  We received it in the mail today.  Of course we will not open it until tonight with the kids all gathered around, and of course the grand kids.  One daughter, Emily and Kris will be there through modern technology, through Skype.  Will may not be able to be there, but the rest will be there, and we shall open that envelope and find out when and where.

Those at work can't figure it out and want to peek in and know NOW.  One came in the office and asked, "Did your mother call?"  I replied, "No, she is dead."  Then they started to laugh.  They said that everyone they had been around (the young ones) always said their mother called. 
So our waiting is over, sort of.  Anyway, we will know tonight part of it.  I am just afraid that we might have to wait six months before we can go.  If we need to manicure our finger nails, grow long hair, or get whiter hair, or who knows what, but the church site says that some seniors have to wait six months to go.

Maybe the receiving of the call is just the beginning of the waiting.  Well, we shall know soon.

It is hard to concentrate on anything right now.  The wishes of Christ, the Apostle who reviewed our papers, our future for 18 months has been set and we are counting the days/weeks/months before we can go, but we ARE GOING. 

We started dreaming about our mission a long time ago.  We started the count down last June 9th, though it had been a dream before then.  Tonight it will be real.  ...dream dreams and see visions... and work toward them....

I will write tomorrow about the OPENING. 

+ DAY 19 --- Live the AS IF Life Today

Well another day has bit the dust, and another shuffle or dance toward the mailbox has resulted in failure.  If we were assigned last Friday, we try to imagine what our call has to go through before it is mailed to us.  Questions....

We read an article in the Ensign about Youth Centers, Young Adult Centers, or whatever you call them.  That would be wonderful if they would let us work with a youth center.  Of course anything else, would also be wonderful.  (Maybe it is taking so long to prepare us to be excited about digging weeds from a temple parking lot for our mission, or being enthused about ANYTHING?)

We experienced another miracle yesterday. We went to the eye doctor, and he spend about three hours with us, then charged us practically  nothing.  He was trying to help us in the effort to go on a mission.   There are so many who are showing us compassion and helping us be ready. 

No, we are not depressed, just disappointed.  But the time is coming I am sure. Hopefully we can get out into the mission field before Thanksgiving.  Yesterday, Wednesday, my nephew's parents received their mission call.  Wonderful for them.  Senior missionaries do get their calls on Wednesday, just not us.

Today I am right now writing the 400th posting on this blog.

So, we wait again.  Whenever we go anywhere, everyone asks if we received our call.  They are just being interested in us and our destination, showing compassion to us.  We just answer in the negative and with a smile tell how excited we are.  That is repeated over and over again every day.  Maybe this is our mission, being cheerful, excited and answering countless people asking about our mission.

My excitement is still alive and well, it is just not too vibrant these days.  It will require a resurrection when those envelopes come in the mail.  This is just a "waiting period" we are privileged to experience and learn from.

I had a night full of depressing dreams last night.  Over and over I woke up lamenting experiences, ideas, and negative concepts.  I crawled out of bed, wishing I could stay there.  So my challenge today is to generate joy, anticipation, excitement about what is coming one day, and live the "as if" principle.

+ DAY 18 --- Perhaps Not Today

Wednesday June 27, 2012.  A co-worker has predicted that we would get our call today, the anniversary of the Prophet Smith's martyrdom.  It is also my second son's birthday.  With getting the word Sunday that we have been assigned a mission, it is likely that we will get the call today.  We were assigned on June 22, trying to imagine the process of sending out calls, it could be today.  Then again, it may be three weeks from the last Saturday of November? 

As I sit and write this, I can just imagine Bonnie watching for her future companion (Joke, nothing more) to drive up to the community mail box.  I can see her doing the mailbox shuffle, waiting until he is done, or even tackling him as he reaches for all the many envelopes coming to Sam and Tessa's mailbox.  I am sure many are political advertisements, some bills, a few more invites to eat a Burger King, Chik-filet, a discount on the next lube job, and perhaps even two envelopes from Salt Lake City.  No, they probably would not be invites to vote for Mitt Romney, they will probably be our mission call. 

If it does come today, we shall gather tonight, all of the family who can come, and hold a party.  Joe said it is a reason to all gather together and EAT.  Many look for reasons to gather the family together, and there must be something to eat each time we gather, no?  We will all gather, we will check out the masterfully designed spread sheet to figure out who wins the lottery in guessing where we will go. THEN we will open those two envelopes to learn what we have waiting a long time to learn.  This is another step in following Elder Hollands direction of setting a goal and working toward it.  It will let us know how much longer we must wait before we can actually be senior missionaries.  At least it will tell us where we will go and when!

My son asked me if I was going to quit writing this blog when we get our call.  I sort of doubt it.  It is a good way to report our mission.  While I served a hundred years ago, I wrote something similar to my mother, reporting to her and she recorded it as my mission journal.  Sounds like a good idea.

I told  my wife last night that we need to prepare ourselves to find an empty mail box today.  When someone gets their hope too set on something happening and it does not, it is a very difficult time.  So, I sort of feel we must prepare ourselves to be disappointed again today.  It will come one day, but perhaps not today.

It is interesting to me what Father is teaching us.  He uses every circumstance in our life to teach eternal principles, and it is up to us whether we learn, grow closer to him, or fail and question everything.  In this path of pursuing this dream, there have been many miracles, but there have been more lessons learned.  Thanks be to Father in caring enough to teach us during these almost 400 days.

+ DAY 17 --- Where Would You Guess?

Last night, Bonnie couldn't sleep for excitement of our coming mission call.  If they have already decided where we are going, then perhaps we shall know this week, and she is excited.  She stayed up late  last night and found Sam and Tessa and kids.  They talked while I peacefully slept. 

They talked about getting the mission call from the mailbox.  Tessa has been going to the mailbox this past week with her camera to record the arrival of the call.  Bonnie has been doing the mailbox shuffle a few days, and has even talked to the postman about our anticipation. 

So in the inner planning abilities of of Bonnie, she is planning on getting it this week.  She discussed it with Tessa how, when, and who would get the envelopes.  As they were talking about picking them up, Daniel, one of the grand kids asked, "Why two envelopes, aren't you going together?"  Bonnie explained that most often the church sends out two calls, one to me and one to her.  Then another grand kid asked, "What if grandpa is called to Korea and you (grandma) are called to Texas?"  Then Daniel spoke up and suggested that grandpa could go to Korea, and Grandma could go to Texas and have her companion be the postman.  She tried to explain how that would not work.  (Then I started thinking what if I don't get one when she does?)

We are holding a contest to see who is going to guess where we will go on our mission.  Each kid and grand kid gets to guess five missions, two countries and one continent.  We are figuring how to grade it so we will have a winner.  Should be fun.  With 340 missions, it is un-likely anyone will guess correctly.

I have been thinking that since I speak a bit of Spanish, they will probably take advantage of that.  But I may be totally off base on that guess too.  So where?  They have already decided, it is just letting us know when and where.  Then we have to go back to work again.  There is much to prepare, store, sell, give to the DI, and try to decide what we can't do without when we return.  Difficult things to figure out.

Tuesday, and they assigned us a location Friday.  Shouldn't we have our call by now? Bon and I are "discussing" when it will come.  Of course we have been doing that for many, many days.  We continue to wait and shuffle.  But it should be within the next few days.

+ DAY 16 -- Signs of Progress Being Made

This is Monday's post. I often write Monday's post on Sunday afternoon, night, or even Monday Morning.

A couple of days after Bonnie said jokingly that we would withdraw our papers and see if anyone else wanted us as missionaries, this is what happened.  We went to church on Sunday, Bonnie said to the bishop that we were beginning on feeling that they do not want us.

Our bishop said that he has something that he wanted to show her.  He took little --pad (whatever it was) and connected to the church site, found our name, and it said that on June 22, we were assigned.  That means on last Friday, they finally found our papers and decided where to send us.  That means that perhaps we will find out this week.

However, if our paper work, or our call gets sent out one of these coming days, if it doesn't have to go around Venus, or Pluto, if it is not lost, if it is really sent to us, to our address, then perhaps one day this week we may be doing the mailbox shuffle and find our call actually in the mailbox.  No promises.  But if we were really assigned last Friday, perhaps there are not a lot of things that could delay it further?

Now I know there are hundreds of things that could delay it, and knowing our luck, it will be delayed again and again, but who knows.  At least another step was taken last Friday and someone has decided where to send us.

As I try to really accept that we have been assigned, my excitement starts to build once again.  We are starting to really get excited about going somewhere as senior missionaries.  But even after getting our call, I am sure there are still days, weeks, months? that we will have to wait to actually go and actually do.

At least something has happened and there has been some progress made concerning these two desiring missionaries.

+ Day 15 -- 340 Missions

As I write this on Sunday Morning, I hate to go to church where so many will ask, " Did you get it?"   And of course we will say once more, "not yet." They will ask, "When will you get it?"  Then we will smile and shrug our shoulders.

We continue to dream of the days when we will be full time missionaries concerned about the work every minute  of every day.  We will continue to try to imagine where we are going.  There are 340 missions in the church, and we will be pleased and excited to serve anywhere He calls.

Bonnie heard about one of her cousins who is serving in the Panama  Mission.  She heard today that they were relaxing in their time off and watching the Panama Canal operate with another senior couple.  Tears came to her eyes as she imagined that we would have similar experiences one day, soon.

We will strive to feel that Spirit as we go through our meetings, commune with our Savior and Father through our meetings at church today.  We will reconfirm our desire to be missionaries, recommit our lives to Him and offer our services, time, talents, and testimonies.

Yesterday, we  saw one more miracle happen.  We finally paid off the last debt that we have been working on since the bowling alley.  Since we left over three years ago, phantom debts kept cropping up that we were responsible for.  Finally, today we paid the last one, I believe.  What a joy to know that we are, or soon will be totally out of debt, probably within the next week or so.  (We paid the big one yesterday.)  What a comfort and peace that will be.  Bonnie is going to shout for joy and excitement when that happens.  Within the next ten days it will happen.  Thanks Father, for that is a miracle also.

Bonnie's brother who is waiting for their departure date on their mission keeps asking why we have not received our call.  Just one more person asking why.  I wish we could say, but we cannot.  Ours is not to question why or when, ours is just to wait or die.  No, you know what I mean, ours is to wait, and wait some more.

Just like last Sunday, I hope sometime this week I can blog about receiving direction from the brethren about where and when.  Guess we will just wait and see.

+ DAY 14 -- Being His Hands

I watched one of the Church's videos of Christ healing the woman by the way.  I was touched.  As I pause to realize that we will be His messengers, we will be His hands, we will take with us His gospel to those who are hungry, lost, and searching, I feel humbled.  I have lamented over and over about my lot in life of having to wait for our mission call.  I have talked about the mailbox shuffle, joked about the time we wait, wondered if they need senior couples, why we are sitting here, just waiting. 

He is in need of those who are humble.  He wants missionaries He can direct through inspiration to those honest in heart, those who are lost.  He wants missionaries who will find His lost sheep and bring them to Him.  He wants those who will labor without ceasing to reclaim those who have fallen off the way, but are still earnest in being good, followers of Christ. 

As I try to imagine what I am sure He is wanting out of us, I wonder if I have prepared enough to be what He needs.  I wonder if I am ready to step into the position He is choosing for us.  I wonder if there are things I need to do to be adequately ready to run with His name on my lips. 

This is His work, and there is so much work to be done.  He needs those who will listen to Him, set a good example, show the way, and say His words.  Am I ready to do that?

Yes, there is room in His Kingdom to have fun, to smile and even laugh a bit.  Yes, there is room to enjoy life.  Do I have the proper separation of mirth and doctrine to serve Him as He wishes?  Maybe we are still waiting until I am taught through experiences and through His teachings to become what He needs in some part of the world.  Perhaps the last 62+ years were laying the foundation, and now He is knocking off a few rough edges I have.  Perhaps there are finishing touches I need before my beautiful companion and I will be given the privilege to go and represent Him. 

I know one day we shall know and appreciate the reason why we are still waiting for our call.  We shall smile, and even offer gratitude for the delay.  I just read Ether 12, all about faith.  My faith could use a few events to strengthen it.  I am not as the brother of Jared yet.  Working on it, but still far from it.

I love my Savior.  I will wait, and then serve whenever, wherever and however He mandates.  It has been a life-long goal.  It is near.  I am so glad, and excited.

Today, this morning, we hiked up the hills behind Sam's house to a place we have been before.  A few months ago, we hiked up there shortly after we submitted our papers to the bishop.  (Twelve weeks ago.)  Then about one month ago, we hiked up there again about the time we had our stake president's interview. (Four weeks ago.)  We joked that we would probably hike there again in another month, still waiting.  It was the wrong thing to do, for we hiked up there as we assumed we would a month ago.

Will we be walking up there again in another month?  Probably, but what will be the circumstances when we do?

+ DAY 13 -- Fifty Four Weeks and Counting

My good companion tells me that all I ever write about is patience, waiting, being frustrated as we wait, anticipation, etc.  That is probably true.  After more than a year of waiting for our mission call, our assignment, our acreage to plow for the next eighteen months, after doing the "shuffle", and still we wait, I guess that is something that is constantly on my mind.

Thirteen happens to be one of my favorite numbers.  Today is thirteen days after we celebrated our 40th anniversary.  I figured we would be out already and possibly baptised 13 people by this time.  We haven't even been advised where we are going, or when.  I guess we are still going.

I wonder how many other senior couples are waiting for their calls.  I wonder how many man-hours of missionary work are being lost as others (as well as us) are waiting for their call.  How many other senior couples are chomping at the bit, doing the mailbox shuffle, counting down the days, etc, anticipating their call? 

Please don't assume I am becoming a negative, short sighted, or a depressed future missionary.  I am not.  But it is certainly difficult dreaming of being a missionary when we have done all we can do, waiting on others to let us go.

But I also know that timing is everything.  I told that to my daughter who was the last of my kids to get married.  She finally was, but I preached to her about the Lord's timing.  I used that concept many, many times as I talked on the High Council circuit in three different stakes.  I taught that often when I taught the young adults year after year.  Now I am being taught that concept as we await the time when we will finally be assigned our future position in the Kingdom. 

Perhaps the "right" place has not opened up yet.  Perhaps the "right" place is awaiting a new mission president, since one third of all missions will get a new mission president on July 1.  Perhaps we are waiting until one of the eight new missions, or reorganized missions are ready for us.  No matter what, timing is everything and we ( I ) will be patient until we get that envelope in the mail. 

The excitement and anticipation is still alive and well, it is just a few miles below the surface of my mind.  It will resurrect in His timing, perhaps?

This may totally SHOCK you.  Yesterday after we knew that the postman shuffle was ineffective, my sweet bride had to vent.  Of course I had a tape recorder on her venting.  The following came from her mouth:  "I don't think they want us."  "I want to be your companion, but perhaps not for the Mormon Church."  "Is there somewhere else we could apply?"  "Maybe we need to withdraw our papers and resubmit them to someone else?" "Let's find us a cheap apartment and do a mission staying home in Utah Valley.  I am sure THEY want us."  "Maybe we should volunteer to serve in the temple, the Mt Timp Temple?"  "Maybe since others are supporting us, or said they would, they don't want the red tape that is associated with us."  "Are we sure that our papers are in SLC in front of the brethren?"

It is truly hard, but if it doesn't kill us, it should teach us something, right?

+ DAY 12 -- Mailbox Shuffle

Yesterday, my oldest daughter was relieved from her pregnancy.  She had a healthy young baby boy, named Brigham.  It is amazing to me to contemplate that Brigham just left Father in Heaven and is starting his "proving" period of his existence in mortality.  I am sure it is so challenging for a full grown spirit to enter a little body, not knowing anything about how to do, how to talk, how to communicate, etc.  No wonder they cry so often. 

On Tuesday night, I dreamed that Sammy, my grand son was going to collect our call from the mailbox and we would have it yesterday, Wednesday, the day of Brigham's birth. It didn't happen, so once again I ask where do dreams come from?  Maybe it is just hopes translating into dreams, nightmares?

Some people say that "Senior Couples"  get their calls on Thursday.  Since today is a Thursday, we go through the mailbox shuffle.  We wait, anticipate, follow the mailman as he drives up the street, wait for him to get out of his truck, do a shuffle, dance, and watch as he goes through his bag looking for things to drop off at this house.

We know in our mind that it is coming today, and we wait, wait and finally he drives off.  We shuffle to the mailbox and use the key and reopen the box.  One of these days, "soon" we will find large envelopes telling us about our next eighteen months. Of course, most of the last ten weeks plus, we have been disappointed and slowly trudge home from the long walk to the mailbox.

Of course most of the time this short dance is done by  one of our grand kids, since I am at work and Bonnie has not learned the shuffle.  But today is the prime day to do the shuffle.  We will see if this short dance is rewarded or not.  Another Thursday.

As Bonnie read this, she was insulted for she has done the mailbox shuffle a few times.  I have not, and thus I apologize to her. Also my other pregnant daughter is hurt.  I said that she had a month of pregnancy until she delivers.  She only has three weeks and when I add a whole seven days, she is totally depressed, especially since her sister is now DONE.

+ DAY 11 -- Line Items on My Blue Print

I wonder if that "+ DAY" number (now being 11) will rise to 365 where we started LONG ago?  I am sure it will, but I wonder if we will wait for our mission call until we are married 41 years?  When our bishop said "soon" on Sunday, 365 days is not as long as 80 years. 

Just talked to my sister and she was urgently wondering why I had not called her.  Then I told her was in the "soon mode" and that we are still waiting.  She was amazed, frustrated, and even laughed at our discomfort.  She said it would come, but didn't know how many "soons" we would have to experience.  Maybe it will be many periods of 80 years?

At work, I have many people coming into my office daily asking, "Did you get your call?"  So, what I have done is I have acquired a paper plate, written NO on the middle of it, and posted it on  my desk.  So when anyone comes into my office they won't have to ask.  When we do finally get it, I will remove the plate and everyone will know.  That way I won't have to tell them that I am still pregnant.  (See yesterday)  Scott came in today, and the "NO" sign was not where it was last night.  He started jumping up and down asking where we were going.  False labor, I guess.  I re-
posted the sign.

As each day passes, I can feel gratitude that we are one day closer to receiving our call.  You have to look at these things positively.  One day closer.  This morning while I was driving to work, I thanked Father for all the line items that are listed on the Blue Print of my mortality. Some of the line items listed there are as follows:  Bonnie, Brigham City, Patience, Being Pregnant, Unemployment, Crushed disk in my back, Kidney stones, Spur in my neck, High Priest, Teaching Priesthood and Young Adults, Different places to work, Financial challenges, Being a Bishop, Having six kids, Mexico as a missionary, etc. 

If you have ever seen a blue print, it lists, as line items, all the parts that are needed to create that product.  So, all the line items that I need to be or to learn, what Father is trying to create out of me, is listed as a line item. I know many of them, but I know that there are more line items that I know not of.  Of course our mission is one further item that we will share on OUR blue print.

My grand son Sammy was so excited yesterday about our mission call. He reported that as he checked the mail yesterday it was not there, but then he explained how the brethren were doing things and that as they do things, then our mission call should come today.  He was sure of it.  He was excited to get the mission call from the mailbox today.  We shall see, "Except ye become as a little child..."

+ DAY 10 --- Ready to Deliver? Expiring Paperwork?

Ten days ago, we celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary.  Originally, I assumed that we would be on our mission by now.  Or at least we would be finalizing our preparations of going.  I really am feeling sort of like my pregnant two daughters.  One is ready NOW and the other one in about thirty days.  Yes, we put our availability to be July 15, after they were both delivered. 

But those two pregnant, really pregnant daughters field questions continually about their delivery.  "When are you due?"  "You are really getting close."  "How you feeling?"  "How can you sleep at night?"  "Or do you?"  "I thought you were due last week."  "You poor girl."  And on and on.  It isn't as if they can definitely state when they are going to deliver, unless they are under the SEE SECTION plan. (see it happen, plan for it and see the delivery date with no questions, no faith, just SEE.) 

They are just like Bonnie and me.  We wait, don't know when we will be relieved of the waiting game.  We don't know when we will be assigned and receive our call.  We field similar questions as they do. 

The difference is, our date, whenever that is, will not be accompanied with the pain my two daughters will feel.  On the other hand, I hear there are great drugs that take away all the pain.  So, perhaps having a painless baby and receiving our call is very similar.  We won't be staying the hospital I don't believe.  Unless we faint as the young missionary I reported about a few days ago.  And if we faint, we may hit something that will require going to the hospital with our daughters.

They can be "measured" which tells them how close they MAY be.  If we were measured, what would they measure, our patience, our faith, our anticipation or what?  Maybe the brethren wait until we have dilated to a certain point in our faith and patience?  I don't know.  Now you know, I feel pregnant!

I wonder if our mission papers will expire?  I mean after so long, the data on those papers will not be current.  I wonder what the expiration date is, and if we will need to update them before long?

+ DAY 9 -- Self Preservation

Yesterday I talked with the bishop. He asked how I was doing.  I said I am doing fine. He said, "You will know soon."  I almost started to laugh.  In the scriptures soon means about 80 years.  Of course I didn't say that to him.  But he was serious.  "Really," he said, "you will know really soon."

What does that mean?  Who knows.  But we will know soon!

I taught on the scriptures and Father's Day, and importance of Fathers.  It was very fun, I felt the Spirit dictating what to say.  I changed part of my  lesson this morning because I felt directed to change it as I was showering.  What a joy it is to be in tune and listen to the dictates of the Spirit.  It felt good and many commented.  That is what being a missionary is all about representing our Savior in His acreage and lending our talents to His cause for a short period.  We must be ready to listen and follow.

As I was pondering coming back to work, going to my second life, it was a bit depressing until I remembered that our call was not coming until we do what we are supposed to be BEFORE our call comes.  So I need to listen more intently, and follow what I am told to do.  Perhaps that is the thing we  are waiting for, to do His bidding here in Utah before we get to leave.  His purposes will go forth, in spite of those who do not listen as well as they should.


I really find the concept of serving a mission far away in the outer reaches of my conscious mind.  It is a wonderful concept, but it is far away from reality, at least for me.  I find myself thinking of the present, the next few weeks, the joy that will come when we get a new grand son, continue tending grand children for another son, and working.  Serving as a missionary is so far away from my immediate plans.  I know, that can and will change, but for now, it is not a reality.  I guess it is just a self preservation feeling. 

+ DAY 8 -- Everyone Has A Reason

Everyone we talk to has a reason why we have not received our call yet.  It is interesting to me, some are serious, some are crazy, but most are, "who knows?"

The bottom line is that Father knows why things are taking time to develop, or our future location of service has not been decided yet.  Elder Maxwell preached that if we knew how close Father was to our lives, how many little tiny things within our personal life Father knows about, and He directs, controls, and influences, we would be totally amazed.  He taught that our development, our growth in mortality is so important to him that he cannot let us go alone without His influence even for a moment, for we would all blow it and Father has a detailed plan for each of us.

That must be true about our mission call also.  He is in charge.  There are reasons why.  And one day perhaps we shall know what they are.  Perhaps not.  But it doesn't matter, for He knows what is best, even the timing of our mission call.

Today when I teach High Priests, I have felt the inspiration that I need to teach that the most important calling we will ever have, the one that most of us have now, is the calling of being a FATHER.  We will be fathers throughout the eternities.  We probably should work on that calling every day, no?

I remember Elder Bednar saying that many of those in his stake approached him, and as he asked them what he could do for them, he was told,  "Please teach my husband..."  I wonder if any of our wives are praying the same thing?

+ DAY 7 -- Fainted While Eating His Dinner, Sort of, The Call

Sorry, but I have been posting a bit later these days because I am not living in my home, I am tending grand kids for one week.  Schedules have been interrupted. 

The bishop called last night and asked how we are doing.  I said we are doing fine, waiting. He said that he wanted us to know that we are not forgotten, and that they brethren are just taking their time, longer than he thought they would.  He went into the Internet, and often he is told when the missionary is assigned a location.  But for Bonnie and I, the notation at the headquarters is still pending.  So, since he is usually told a few days before the missionary receives his call, we have at least a few more days to wait.

I heard a story yesterday told my our secretary. She said that she was in Chuck A Rama, eating and there was this large group eating also. They seemed to be waiting, and sure enough soon a young kid came into the restaurant and sat in the center seat.  They gave him is large envelope.  Silence reigned and he opened his call.

He read, took a deep breath, read it again, took another deep breath, and closed his eyes and promptly fainted.  Dead faint. Fell on the floor.  I asked where he was going to cause such a scene, but she said she was not going to approach the total stranger, after he fainted, and ask where he was assigned to serve.  Nice.

I don't believe Bonnie and I will be doing the same.  But you never know.  I don't know whether it was the location, the timing, or just hyper ventilating?  Who knows, but what a good story.

+ DAY 6 -- A God Of Miracles

I drove to the airport today to pick up a student for the school. She came from Dominican Republic.  On the way, I listened to the Tabernacle Choir.  I felt the spirit of those songs and felt very strong stirrings within.  I knew that when we finally do get to go on our mission, that feeling of companionship with the Holy Ghost, or the Spirit of Divinity will be constant, or at least felt stronger as we serve with our all.

My boss asked if we had received our call yet.  I said no.  He said he was going to call the brethren and tell them to lose the papers so I would not leave.  Then he laughed.  He said that I would be missed as much as withdrawing my hand from a bucket of water, the amount of water displaced would be how much I would be missed.  At times he wants to run me out, at other times, he would rather I stay around. Then there are times when I wish I could walk away today from work, for many different reasons.

One of the teachers asked if I heard about our call yet.  I said no.  She said, "Wonderful."  She is the one that made me promise that I would make some Ginger Cookies before I leave.  She says that I make the best ginger cookies in the world.  Of course I do.

My sister said it should be today, Friday.  She said that she heard from some friends that it comes on Friday.  Well, I guess I really don't care when it comes.  I am occupied in the two lives I live, one at work, one at home.  I will continue as long as I need to.  It is accomplishing a goal we set a long time ago.  So, I really do not think about when it will come and what it will contain, and what it will mean about changes in our life.

I read this morning in the BOM that God is a God of miracles.  If we do not see miracles, then it is because of the lack of our worthiness.  Miracles are all around, we just don't see them, expect them, nor ask for them.  But Bonnie and I have seen, experienced, and expect miracles every day.  They continue to occur in our lives.

Day 6.  We continue to wait.

+ DAY 5 -- Three Lives

One of the blessings of our circumstances right now is we are close to and able to serve our children and grandchildren.  Almost every night, we are going to their houses and tending children.  It is a joy.  I am sure when we finally  leave, we will miss that opportunity.

I feel like I am living three lives.  One is the life I live at work.  I am totally occupied trying to find students to come to the US to learn English.  I have students from all over the world coming.  I am constantly helping them get ready to come.  I am also constantly trying to find agents or those who will help us find students in their countries.

The second life is the one experiencing our kids and grand kids.  It is the one where we are surrounded with our ward members, with home teaching, with the life away from work.  It is like these two worlds do not influence each other.  I enjoy my life at home much more than at work.

The third life is the proximity of the life we will live in the future.  It is unknown.  We can try to imagine what we will be doing, where we will be doing it, and with whom will we be doing it.  It is sort of like a dream.  It is real, I assume.  But not...  It won't be real until we receive other confirmations that it is real. 

Three different lives.  Only two of them take up much of our physical time.  The dream-like life takes up lots of mental time, thus taking away from the other two.  Three lives.  Each one separate from the other two.  One will eliminate the first two, but who knows when. 

I try to explain where we are, and how things feel, thoughts flow, and many things, but it is difficult to explain the feelings and what is going on in our lives.  Suffice it to say I am living three different, separate lives.

+ DAY 4 -- What Shall We Be Doing

Bonnie read some of the past posts and she said that I have been writing about patience, waiting, patience and then waiting again and again.  What else is there?  We are on the verge of a voyage, but we don't know where or when.  But I shall try to avoid mentioning waiting and patience today.

I envision a location where we shall know nothing about.  It will be a place that neither of us have been, but one where we will be excited to go.  There will be saints there and non-saints there.  What we will be doing is a mystery, but we shall enjoy it thoroughly.  We shall be involved with the work of the Lord, in building up His kingdom.

There are countless ways to build up His Kingdom.  We may be re-activating members who have lost their way.  We may be working with younger missionaries.  We may be in a CES mission where we can work with the youth of the church.  We may even be proselyting, knocking doors searching out the honest in heart.  We may be assigned to a mission home somewhere, or even a temple somewhere to serve keeping records, helping patrons, etc.  We may be doing all of the above.

No matter where we are called to serve I am so thoroughly excited that it is hard to think of anything else.  But as I have said before, it is sort of surreal, hard to believe we are on the verge of donating all we have to Him.  What a glorious dream/vision that is so close.  It is hard to forget it, or even think about it.  But come what may, and come when it may, we are ready.

+ DAY 3 -- Timbuktu and Nightmares

As I returned to work, everyone at work asked, "Have you received your call?"  I answered,  "Not yet."  Then they ask that stupid question, "Why not?"  So I answer with a stupid answer like, "An elephant was crossing the road the other day, saw the mail truck, went over, stepped on the postman, stuck his long trunk in the window of the truck, sucked out all the important mail, but none of the bills.  He tasted the sweet aroma of our call, promptly ate it and let the postman live to deliver all the bills to you and me."  That is as good a reason as any other one, right?

There is a young kid in my office at work who is from Mali.  He continually asks if I received my call.  He was converted a few months ago and was baptised.  He is telling me that I am going to be sent to Timbuktu.  I didn't know that Timbuktu was in Mali but it is...  It is a place that no one knows it's location, and we are always referring to Timbuktu.  (I didn't even know how to spell it.)

I anxiously wait for the mail to be delivered each day, expecting it daily.  Bonnie is sure it won't come until either Wednesday or Friday.  But when week after week goes by, I start wondering if it will ever come.  Maybe they have lost the papers?  Maybe an elephant did actually come?  Maybe we are not supposed to go? 

It is sure interesting to track and monitor where the mind takes us in this circumstances.  So many thoughts pass through the mind, all trying to give peace to it. Last night I had upsetting dream after nightmare, after scary dream, after worrisome dream.  I guess I was not peaceful during the sleeping hours.  Don't know the reason why, other than this constant pressure, yet not pressure, just the not knowing.  Would that cause the kind of night I had last night?  Who knows? 

+ DAY 2 -- This Week?????

Bonnie and I both feel that there are things that we need to do before we leave.  Don't exactly know what they are, but there are things that need to be done by us.  We also agreed that Father knows best, knows the timing of our call, and we would never want to change His infinite wisdom of His master timing.

Just as in mortality, often we never know the reasons of specific timing,  but once in a while we are blessed to know the reasoning of "why" things take their time as they do.  Hind sight is often 20 - 20.  Often it is
20 - 1000.  Right now it is 20 - blindness.  But that is OK as long as we exercise our faith.

The President of the stake asked me yesterday if I had received a call from Church Headquarters.  I replied that I had not.  He said that he had not either.  I wonder what that means?  He said in our interview a few weeks ago that often the church calls the future senior missionaries.  Will that happen?  Guess we will wait and see.

Bishop said also that he is waiting as well as we are, excited to know where we will be going.  Many are in that same frame of mind, wondering where we will be serving.  It is exciting.

One brother said that the church needs much more than 5000 senior missionary couples, for he had been involved in seeing areas where couples help in the work.  We are just two, but we can serve and give and help build the Kingdom.  Still excited about that.

One sister said last night that we were going to get our call this week.  She said that she receives revelation for the Partridge family.  Guess we shall wait and see as Bonnie and I enter our forty first year of marriage.

+DAY 1 -- Still Waiting for our Assignment of Service

I guess those of you who don't want to read this, since we are beyond M day, you can stop reading this at any time.  But I feel it isn't over yet, since I have not, cannot report about the  mission we will serve, the when and the where.

I talked to the Stake President today and he asked if the church had called me yet.  I replied that they have not called.  When we were in our interview, he said that often then do call the couple who wants to serve.  Often they discuss with the future senior missionaries their upcoming assignments.  So, perhaps we need to wait until they call.  Who knows.  (By the way, my good friend Orrin Hatch has stopped calling me!)

I felt another "revelation" also.  I felt the Spirit telling me, ".. know this my son that these things (waiting, waiting, and continuing to wait) will gain thee experience, and shall be for thy good."  As I try to imagine our mission, I know that this waiting will be over quickly.  I know that the patience, the lessons I am learning by waiting will be used in our mission.

Though it is a challenge to answer questions continually thrown at us from well intending members of our ward about where and when we are going, we are learning to be patient, wait upon the Lord and keep our excitement for a mission vibrant.  Bonnie suggested the other day that they that wait upon the Lord shall mount up on eagle wings...  My impatience is slowly leaving.  And what we are learning is multifaceted.

I guess at least for a time, I will continue this blog.  I mean I must record the miracles leading up to our mission. And I know that the miracles will not cease, but in fact they will increase as we begin serving full time in His work.  Now I guess I will count up in my numbers since I have counted down the last year.

DAY 0 --- M DAY

One year ago, I started this blog anticipating our serving a mission.  We have done all we can do, and are now waiting for our mission call to come by mail.  It has been about ten weeks since we submitted our papers, and now we just wait.  In preparation of this mission call, we have made and are making many changes in our life so we can serve.  We have seen many miracles through the last 365 days.  We are ready to give our all to Father.

(Note: I just came down the hill from being out in the beauties of nature.  It was fun out there, but there was no Internet.  So I did not post yesterday Day One.  But I keep learning that I am getting almost too old to sleep on the ground.)

Today is our fortieth year being wed.  We celebrate our years together that started out long ago having Elder Robert L. Simpson seal us.  He told us that there were many spirits waiting to come to our family.  Well we have six kids and soon to be 20 grand kids.  I guess that can be the meaning of "many."  We are ready to start on the road to another forty years.

NO, no mission call yet.  I felt sure that we would get it this week, but it hasn't showed up yet.  There could be many reasons why.  Perhaps someone held up the post man taking it before he could deliver it.  Perhaps it was delivered to the wrong place.  Perhaps it was addressed to our future location?  Perhaps you received it in your mail box?  Who knows. Perhaps it was just to teach me more about patience.  Or perhaps it is a reason to continue this blog further.

Of course, I would have to write on this blog about the call whenever it come, if it comes.  Bonnie asked me if I should continue writing on this blog, even through we have reached M day, and we are celebrating our forty years together.  Or perhaps everyone is sick of reading the progress and road to our mission. Or perhaps I should keep going while I serve?  I am pondering it, whether to continue.  If anyone has a say about it, a feeling one way or the other, I would certainly like to know your thoughts?

Well, Happy Anniversary and keep waiting for that mission call.

DAY 2 -- Send Up a Telegram or Something

Bonnie returned from her walk and said she had a "vision" or just a strong feeling.  She said that my parents were in the Spirit World preaching to people who were excited about the gospel, and we were going to a place to help convert someone to do the genealogy work for them. 

It started my mind running, like it always does when I have a challenge, or a new idea.  I guess as we get our call, and as we are finally permitted to be missionaries, then we can work with my mom and dad in bringing to pass the Eternal Life to many souls, whether here or not!  That adds a new light on the missionary work we will be doing.  I would propose that there may be many, many ways we will be working with those already on the other side.  Maybe Bonnie's parents, her sister, my brother, and a myriad of other Spiritual Beings are feverishly working to find souls. 

I went to a blog of another dear friend, Brenda Benedict, and saw her blog.  Stan and Brenda are on their second mission.  I looked at some of their pictures and got excited.  It showed Stan walking down the dusty roads, showed it teaching in a large group of people, showed that he is much younger than me since I have the gray hair, and his is still dark, he must dye it.  It showed me what a mission is like for them.  I am excited again.  I can't wait.  But another day goes by and still no call. Is it fantasy, or is it real?

This is day TWO.  That means in a couple of days, we will be celebrating our anniversary, and hopefully have our call in our hands.  But based on past lessons in patience, based on everything that is trying to teach me patience. I would assume it will not come for a while. 

Today we leave town for a couple.  We are holding our annual WNP reunion, or our kids reunion.  I believe Bonnie has it worked out that the mailbox will scream, send messages, put up a flying airplane, send a telegram if our call comes while we are in the mountains.  We shall see.

Don't know if I will come down the mountain to post tomorrow, but I may.  Day one, that is one that we have sought for a long time, that is tomorrow.

DAY 3 -- Another Waiting Period Coming - Isn't That A Cookie

Three days until M day.  Yes, I believe we are  going to make it.  At least we will make it to that day to celebrate 40 years.  But whether we will have our call by then, who knows. 

Slowly, this "mission thing" is becoming a dream again, a concept that is starting to seem surreal.  My enthusiasm has waned, elevated, dropped, risen, etc.  I remember deciding one year ago that we would be going on a mission.  I remember submitting our papers by pushing the button about 10 weeks ago.  I remember getting physicals to verify our well-being so we could go.  I remember many times talking with our bishop about the possibilities.  I remember most recently discussing this mission with our stake  president, seeing him "push the button" and know that the papers were in Salt Lake with the authorities.
Then Bonnie and I felt an increase of excitement, knowing that we were only days away from knowing where and when we would go on our mission. 

Now, as things sort of feel like they are falling apart, I get further and further away from that excitement of  going on a mission.  Things are "rocky" at work.  My computer was given an added period of time to live before it dies for good.  My eyes seem to be losing focus, as is my mind.  The University of Utah hasn't won a football game for many months.  I question if we will ever get a call.  I am getting deafer and deafer.  Huh?

If I pause to consider why I am losing our vision of a mission, I can come up with many reasons.  I try to combat that feeling of depression with positive events getting us closer to our mission.  But there doesn't seem to be any.

I asked myself last night before I dropped off to sleep, "Is this really real, are we really going to go on a mission?  Will our call come someday?"  I guess it is another lesson of patience, not losing hope, and believing in the process which is happening in SLC. Or the process I believe is happening in SLC.

If I borrow the Psalm of Nephi, "Awake my soul.  No longer droop in questions.  Don't let those thoughts so easily eliminate the visions of being Called To Serve.  Replace the  negative with the strength of God and smile, go forward with faith, hope and charity. Etc.  -- and Patience."

It is sure interesting to go through this process.  We are not through it yet.  We still wait.  And when we get that special envelope from Headquarters, we will start another waiting period, I am sure.  Will that one be different?  Guess we will find out.  Hurry up and learn Patience!

Last night Bonnie and I dreamed.  I dreamed we are going to Cameroon.  (Isn't that a cookie?) Bonnie dreamed we are going to the North Countries.  Don't know what that means either.   Perhaps North Cameroon, or North Brigham?  Or it was all  just a bit of undigested potato?

DAY 4 -- Thousands of Senior Couple Missionaries

Can you even begin to feel the excitement that Bonnie and I feel knowing that within a few days, we will receive our mission call that we have been waiting for, for about forty years?  When we were married, I had been home from my  mission for about 18 months.  I shared with Bonnie then that one day we needed to serve a mission together.  It hasn't been talked about for many years. It hasn't been real for about thirty years. 

Try to imagine how much excitement it would be to know that soon you would be receiving a mission call to serve with your best friend for eighteen months.  Bonnie has always believed that the planning and preparing for an event is much more exciting than the actual event itself.  I must admit that the discussions, the dreaming together, the talking about possible locations, and the organizing has been thoroughly enjoyable.  I don't know if I will ever say that the preparations are more enjoyable than the actual doing however.  I don't believe Bonnie will admit after we get out there that the preparation was as enjoyable as the mission.  But we shall see.

Once again, as I admitted in an earlier blog, I am humbled to realize that our future eighteen months is being determined, perhaps even today.  It is not that it is being determined, it is the fact that it is being influenced by Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.  An apostle is going to receive that revelation directing us where we shall be serving in the Kingdom.  Though it is hard to continue waiting until we know that decision, it is awe inspiring where it comes from and where it originated from.

As we get closer to our mission, I can't help but remember the many miracles that have happened in our life to get us to this point. In talking with other senior couples, those preparing and those who are already out serving, I know that Father is performing many miracles for those who desire to serve.

Once again I recognize that Prophet Thomas Monson declared that the church needs thousands of more senior missionaries.  Because of that call from our prophet, I am sure that many other senior couples are experiencing miracles to pave the way so they too, can serve.  No unhallowed hand can stop this work....

Nothing can stop the work, and He needs "our hands" to further the work.  I am so grateful to offer these two arthritic hands to use any way he wants.

DAY 5 -- Will It Come This Week?

My computer at home is beginning to die a un-natural death.  It boots up after a long time, then it just dies, with no reason.  I sent it through a few scans, but it continues to die in the middle of the scan.  Is it just tired, or objecting to what I am writing here?  I tried three times to write the blog for today, Monday and it just killed in the middle of it.  Is it is sign?

As I drove to work today, I felt sad.  Every morning for the last four months, I have listened to a practice CD helping me learn my part for the concerts.  Our concerts finished last Saturday.  So today, I went through withdrawals.  No more concerts.  No more practicing from that CD.  Now I will have to listen to the crazy things they have on the radio.  Not too excited about that.

It has been almost a year since I started this blog.  When I started it, I felt that one whole year was going to take a millennium to pass.  But I guess looking back it wasn't so long.  But some of you will remember many days when I lamented that it was a very long time...

Five days until our anniversary.  It would be appropriate if we receive our call this week.  This Thursday we are going to have a reunion with our kids and grand kids.  We are not going far, but we are going away from terminally ill computers that don't let me post anyway. 

We are hoping to open our call with all family around, perhaps on our reunion.  But that all depends upon the headquarters in SLC when they send it to us.  But all our kids are excited, as we are.

In church yesterday there was so many opinions where we would end up going.  It will be nice to stop all that guessing, laughing, asking why, and such from members of our ward, even family members.  All are interested. Soon, our future will not be in so much question.

DAY 6 -- Changes

I talked to the bishop yesterday at the baptism and he commented that Bonnie and I are experiencing many changes.  He said that there was still a big one coming, our mission call. I said I agreed.  I said change is good.  He said that change is what the church is all about.  Any call in the church has attached to it a release, or another change.

Our mission call will be a change to go and serve.  It will have attached to it a release from being missionaries.  I ponder for a time the changes Joseph Smith  endured.  I ponder the changes that Emma had to endure, always questioning what the next change would be, and there were many in her life being married to the prophet.  Was he preaching to the saints?  Was he in jail again?  Where would they be living next week?

I have known some people who hate change.  They like everything to remain the same all the time.  They avoid change and anything that may create change.  The every day events are comfortable and they do not like to modify anything that would change the norm.

Today marks the beginning of the ninth week since we pushed the button to get our papers into the hands of our leaders.  I would assume it is closer now that it has been.  But we still do not know where or when.

We often mention that perhaps we may get our mission call by Christmas.  Then we wonder if we will be here for my birthday in September?  Will we be here for one of Bonnie's nephew's wedding in August?  Will I get to carve another turkey in November for my family?  Will we miss the fireworks in July?

Bonnie and I finished singing last night in our Chorale.  It was fun, until we sang our last song "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again."  That was hard knowing that we were saying goodbye to many friends we have created over the years we have sung with them.  I guess we will go through many "hard" experiences similar to that one in the coming weeks, months, etc.

I love my Father in Heaven, and I know He is preparing the field for us to serve.  There is an acreage somewhere in this world where He would have us be and give.  There is no doubt that in that acreage there will be many trials and lessons learned by me, as well as many blessings.  I am still excited, and still trying to learn patience.

DAY 7 -- One Week

I can't believe it.  Only seven days until we celebrate our 40th anniversary.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  We went to the SL Temple and had Robert L. Simpson seal us.  He was a friend of the family.  It was joyous. Forty years later, we are waiting for our mission call.  We may celebrate our anniversary with our mission call.

Yesterday, Friday, June 1 I went to work and felt a feeling of total peace.  I felt comfortable, peaceful, and excited.  Nothing seemed to bother me.  I felt like Father was walking with me throughout the whole day.  Perhaps it was my earthly father or mother.  I just felt peaceful as we await our call.  It was as if someone was telling me, to my soul within, that all is going as He planned it and I should just be glad that He was taking charge of things. 

Friday night we presented one of our concerts in SLC.  It was a joy to sing with Sally, our director.  We sang all kinds of songs.  I loved it.  Tonight, we shall sing our last concert for the next couple of years at the Libby Gardner Concert Hall on the U campus.  It is a wonderful hall and one we feel privileged to sing at.

My daughter in law, Tessa presented me with a medal, or a metal coin which has imprinted on it, Super Patient.  Now where it came from, or why it was, who knows.  But Tessa said that I deserve the Super Patient award.  She complimented me at being patient, a super patient. 

Yesterday, Friday, I felt patient, peaceful and happy.  Perhaps because she gave me that award, that metal, or medal of patience.  I am patient.

I know things are moving forward in SLC.  I don't know when we shall know the outcome.  But I know they are progressing toward giving us our assignment where we can serve. 

Today I get to see one of my grand kids baptised.  Enjoyable.  We will miss things like this, but we will be serving and enjoying baptisms of other dear ones.

DAY 8 -- What Is Happening Right Now?

It continues to amaze me that the number that started out at 365 is now down to 8!  It has been a long year, yet a short year.  We have seen many miracles, and continue to see miracles.  Father has been good to us.  Elder Holland has inspired us to dream dreams and see visions.  There have been setbacks and successes.  There have been and continue to be the "why's" and "when's" of this dream.  But we are  nearing the finish line which will be the starting line of another phase of our life in mortality.  (I wonder if every finish line is really a starting line???)

As I sit here and ponder and realize that we are being considered by the Church Headquarters, as I realize that they are trying to figure out where Father/Christ would have us serve, how They would have us serve, I am humbled.  My faith and knowledge is we shall receive our call and we shall receive that confirmation that we will be going and doing what THEY want us to do in helping in the work of the Kingdom.

At times I wish I was a fly on the wall and could witness what exactly is the process in deciding where to send us.  It would be a joy to see inspiration and revelation happening in our behalf.  I wonder if they negotiate about the Partridges?  I wonder if it is a committee that decides?  I wonder if there are many places we could go, but they need to find the "right" one.

In reality, I know that the Apostle will look at our papers, our desires, our application and he will state the will of Father, no questions, no committee decisions, he will be the final say.  There will be no vote and not majority rules. They will be no filibusters, no debate, just pure revelation.  That humbles me.  It makes me pause and remember that Father knows me, knows Bonnie, knows our years of preparation for this call, and knows where would be best to send us. 

It is hard to work knowing what is going on with our future.  It is hard to focus knowing that they are considering our future, our opportunity of service and growth.  It is hard knowing that within a few days (whatever few means) we shall know our destination. 

Few times in mortality does a person go through what Bon and I are going through right now.  We are waiting on our Eternal Father in Heaven to dictate to a fellow mortal where He would have us serve to assist in His work.  That fact can't help but give me pause, humility, and such gratitude for the knowledge I have and testimony I have.  We will go, and we will do.