DAY 313 --- Being Normal is often Drudgery

It is interesting to me as we continue to work toward our dream, there are days that could be, should be classified as a "downer."  I mean, things don't go right, we seem to fail at what we attempt.  We don't seem to have any help from Divine sources.  We can see how we are not making progress toward any goal, let alone the one we desire most.

I can't understand it.  I start the day doing all the things I have done other days to have the Spirit with me, to make progress toward our goal.  Then everything seems to go crazy.  It wasn't my fault.  It just happened.  Things fell apart. 

So, I felt frustrated, sad, depressed, and questioning.  In that kind of a mood, I could not being to be uplifting toward anyone.  I did not want to serve, be nice, nor smile.  I just wanted to wallow in the mire of my own creation.  If anyone talked to me to say anything nice, I ignored them, or told them to go someplace else.

Why?  Mortality weighed heavily on me.  At least as far as I am concerned, I didn't do anything to bring it on.  It just came. 

I recall that the brethren often preach that these days will come.  Joseph was put into jail too often and he was the prophet.  When I think about the condition of my mental state and how I feel, I realize that it was truly my fault.  I lost my faith in my Father.  I lost my focus on the ultimate goal.  Just because of one day, that doesn't mean failure.  In fact it means more lessons to learn, more principles to understand, and more faith to develop.  I guess I am just normal.  But often I don't like being normal.