As I went to the temple this morning, I had that same "blah" feeling I blogged about yesterday. Everything was the same. Bonnie and I went and as I was getting ready for the session, all of a sudden, the feeling of Moses, and the serpent came into my mind. I "heard" the words come into my mind, "Look unto God and Live." Those who looked at the serpent lived and were healed. Those who thought it was too easy did not look and died.
I thought about the easiness of the way, the story of the serpent and decided the reason I was not feeling joy, positive attitude, and peace was I was not looking to God. I was pondering and dwelling upon things that were not going as I would have them go. I was not counting my blessings and I did not have a feeling of gratitude.
Then another scripture came into my mind in D and C section 6 which said, "Doubt not, fear not." Then I realized that I was where I was because I lost my focus, my ultimate goal. I was dwelling upon things that were beyond my control and I was worried about, or stressing over those things. If I look to God and give thanks for the feelings I have that He is in charge, if I doubt not, and of course fear not, if I put on those eternal perspective glasses, then why would I ever be so down, so un-enlightened?
It was all my own fault. I did not recognize what was happening. Something got me down, and kept me there because I could not think of the things that matter most, my testimony, my faith, my knowledge that Father is in charge no matter what anyone else does. It wasn't me, it was the actions of someone else.
He loves me, knows of my goals, and is pained when I let other things get in the way of my peace and joy. Another lesson learned? I hope so!
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