Well, we are starting all over again. If the Stake President has his week filled up this week with the affairs of 15 wards, perhaps on Sunday he may have time to see us. Or if he is all filled up for three weeks, then perhaps in June some time we will get in to see him. Then if he sends it immediately to the Headquarters, then perhaps....
It is just another game we play. We have been doing this for about one year. With every little morsel of information, we start again trying to imagine what will happen when so we can sort of start planning on when we can go.
Since there is nothing we can do about it, and since we know not when anything will happen, as part of a self preservation tactic, I am trying to put it out of my mind again, just waiting until something happens that will mean something to our plans, our future, and our departure. Why get all scheduled up with things we have to do IF something happens? It is just a waste of time.
The anticipation is there, ready to release the flood of excitement, but it is hard to put it all on hold. It is certainly hard to explain how we are feeling.
I just finished reading 3 Nephi 1. I can imagine the same type, sort of, of anticipation. Those saints were threatened with death if the promised signs that Samuel talked about did not happen by a certain date. I am sure as the sun went down and it got dark, they were concerned, worried, and wondering if and when it would happen. Did they keep good records? Are they sure Samuel said five years? What if it is after the deadline imposed by the bad guys and they would all be dead?
They were waiting for a promised sign to happen to save their life. No, I guess we are not that pressured, facing death. But there are similarities in the patience, the waiting game we are in. Hurry up and wait.
Even after we talk with our Stake President, we will still have time to wait until we get our call. I guess it is just an exercise in learning patience. I wonder.... am I learning?
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