As we draw closer to our mission, as we await our interview with the Stake President, it feels like time stands still. There is not much we can do. Everything sort of depends upon where we are going, and when we are going. Of course all those things are sort of on hold until we pass the final interview and he pushes the button to get our papers in front of those who make decisions.
In the last few days, I have felt an unwanted guest, or an intruder in my life. Satan has entered. I find myself not being myself. I seem to be more impatient. I don't seem to be as outgoing as I feel I am. I seem to be shorter, no not by height, but I feel "short" as I deal with others. I am not as patient. I find myself saying things, following thought ideas further than I should, thinking of things that detract from the Spirit, like weaknesses I have, why someone isn't doing what they should be doing, criticizing and speaking evilly of others.
Recognizing that he is present, or his influence is around me in the actions and comments of others, I guess is the first step. Knowing that he is trying to channel my thoughts, my ideas, and my quiet pondering moments gives me a start, a warning to draw closer to the Spirit. I am sure drawing closer to that Sweet Spirit will rid myself, my life of his influence, for I cannot feel the Holy Ghost as I "see" Satan's influence. And just as truthfully, I cannot feel and experience Satan's influence if I am walking with the Holy Ghost as my companion.
I guess that just goes to show you that lately I have not been where I should have been walking with the Divine Influence in my life. I have let that evil one make inroads into my life.
Thoughts are where it starts, and if I can rid myself of those devilish thoughts, replace those thoughts with Spirit influenced thoughts, then my path will be better, the bounce in my step, the way to love and treat others, even strangers will return a smile to mine and he will no longer have any influence in my life.
It is interesting that he subtly entered, gave me tiny little things that I did not "see" and then expanded to the place where I felt awful, and thus recognized his influence. It starts small, insignificantly. I need to work on throwing up a barrier sooner when he is near, or tries to enter the sacred halls of my mind. Another lesson learned. I guess we could say that is a miracle that I saw, recognized, and then learned. Right?
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