Music. I was talking with a co worker and I asked him what he was listening to. He said he was looking for music that made one happy. He said there is a list of music that is advertised to be "Music to make you happy." I didn't ask him what it was, but I was interested.
Then I started thinking what kind of music made me happy. I was going to the temple yesterday and all of a sudden, into my subconscious mind entered a strange song that Bonnie and I are singing in our concerts in the upcoming days. It was Jingle Bells. My mind wouldn't let it go. So I was humming Jingle Bells as I entered the temple. It is not a very "templish" song, and one that makes one happy, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Of course when I started the session, it was gone.
I would think one would hum or sing a hymn or something uplifting rather than Jingle Bells going to the temple. If it had to be a Christmas song, why didn't my mind grab a hold of The First Nowell, which we are also singing rather than Jingle Bells.
I surely love singing in this group with Bonnie. She is such a joy to sing with. Also our director has taught me to sing much higher than I ever sang before. I am a low bass, and now I can almost reach the tenor notes, that once were way to high to even think of reaching. I am a changed singer.
I find myself always having some music in my mind. In fact, once in a while I start humming a song I knew as I was growing up, long ago. Bonnie hearing it, always asks why I hum that song. It is one I hum when I don't have anything else to think about. I can't even remember it, but it is one from my far past. It is a song that was on the radio with a popular group singing it. Don't know why. I would rather be humming "Come Thou Fount..." rather than that one, but my sub conscious mind has a mind of it's own. Oh well, can my sub conscious have it's own mind. I believe I will request the government give me $50,000 to do research to try to figure out if my mind has a mind. I have heard them give money for dumber things. Maybe that is where I need to get that money, part of one of my dreams. Music can change the world, it can chang me, and it has changed many.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
DAY 179 Health Issues
Speaking of health, this morning I climbed out of bed and started to get ready to go to the temple. I have tried to make Tuesday my temple day. As I got out of bed, I almost fell over. I felt like I was drunk. Now don't go and start assuming anything. I don't know how it feels like when one is drunk, however a dear friend of mine, when we were 16 or so, he told me I would love getting drunk. Didn't. Anyway, back to this morning "feeling" like I was drunk.
As I started to do the things to get prepared to go to the temple, my head started to spin. I have heard of people falling out of the shower. Didn't happen. I imagined driving the temple and blacking out, what would become of me. Didn't happen. Then I thought as I stood in the temple, it would be quite funny, at least for others to see, me falling over and landing on the floor. Other might think I was drunk. (Happened to Bonnie once) UGLY
So as the session was winding down, I considered going back to bed and not to work for I still felt my head reeling around in circles. I was told, (felt this little whisper) to breath deeply, get good oxygen into my head. I did so and some of the circles in my head went away. So I went to work. -- only half drunk.
The purpose of this is to verify, or testify, that our health is surely fragile. I mean at any moment we could be sick, "drunk" or unable to do what we have planned for that day. It gives me a reason to offer great gratitude to Father for letting me be healthy. Not as totally healthy I want to be to serve a mission, but healthy enough to drive, go to the temple, do the planned activities of the day, and not have other "things" within my body that are serious.
I watched my father and my brother-in-law die from cancer. I have witnessed another dear sister get incapacitated (I almost said decapitated, but that would not be entirely correct) with her head aches. I have, as you have, seen others struck with health issues that are serious.
I am healthy. I can get up and go to work or wherever I desire to go. Father has not (as of yet) decided to "bless" me with health challenges to learn from. I am so grateful for the health I have.
One of my earnest goals is to use up the health Father has given me in serving as a missionary, in the kingdom until my health is totally gone and they put me in a box under the ground. Whether I get to do that is largely dependent upon His wishes and what lessons I need to perfect me. But that is a goal, to use whatever health I have in helping in the Kingdom.
I am not quite as drunk right now, we shall see how the rest of the day goes.
As I started to do the things to get prepared to go to the temple, my head started to spin. I have heard of people falling out of the shower. Didn't happen. I imagined driving the temple and blacking out, what would become of me. Didn't happen. Then I thought as I stood in the temple, it would be quite funny, at least for others to see, me falling over and landing on the floor. Other might think I was drunk. (Happened to Bonnie once) UGLY
So as the session was winding down, I considered going back to bed and not to work for I still felt my head reeling around in circles. I was told, (felt this little whisper) to breath deeply, get good oxygen into my head. I did so and some of the circles in my head went away. So I went to work. -- only half drunk.
The purpose of this is to verify, or testify, that our health is surely fragile. I mean at any moment we could be sick, "drunk" or unable to do what we have planned for that day. It gives me a reason to offer great gratitude to Father for letting me be healthy. Not as totally healthy I want to be to serve a mission, but healthy enough to drive, go to the temple, do the planned activities of the day, and not have other "things" within my body that are serious.
I watched my father and my brother-in-law die from cancer. I have witnessed another dear sister get incapacitated (I almost said decapitated, but that would not be entirely correct) with her head aches. I have, as you have, seen others struck with health issues that are serious.
I am healthy. I can get up and go to work or wherever I desire to go. Father has not (as of yet) decided to "bless" me with health challenges to learn from. I am so grateful for the health I have.
One of my earnest goals is to use up the health Father has given me in serving as a missionary, in the kingdom until my health is totally gone and they put me in a box under the ground. Whether I get to do that is largely dependent upon His wishes and what lessons I need to perfect me. But that is a goal, to use whatever health I have in helping in the Kingdom.
I am not quite as drunk right now, we shall see how the rest of the day goes.
Monday, December 12, 2011
DAY 180 -- The Health Goal
As I pondered these past days, I have decided that one of the major goals of all the ones I have listed would be the goal to be in good health. The goal to have $50,000 in my bank account has little to do with me. The goal to be spiritually fit depends upon my reading of scriptures and we already have a goal to read the Book of Mormon every day. The goal to be out of debt is also being taken care of by the blessing we both have of an income, at least most of the time.
Most goals to prepare for a mission are dependent upon the influence of our Father. The one to be physically fit is mostly dependent upon me. Will I exercise? Will I be concentrated on losing a few pounds? Will I listen to the Spirit and do what I need to do to be prepared? It is up to me more than Father whether I will be where I want to be. Yes, of course, everything is up to Him, but in this one goal, much is required of me.
Elder Ballard said, and I reported a few days ago said that we need to be masterfully in control of our time. (Maybe that was just yesterday.) I am the one who decides if I am going to do what is necessary to become fit for my mission. There are many goals, many of which depend upon Father and His wishes concerning us. But that is one that I need to take care of.
I don't doubt Fathers ability of blessing us with some of the other goals I have mentioned in this blog. I know He can perform miracles. But I doubt that He will bless me to run marathons, jump small buildings, fly over mountains, and swim across the channel or other feats. But He can bless me with the knowledge of what to do, how to do it to strength a weak back, neck, etc, right?
As I ponder about this, perhaps the Spirit is just telling me that I need to pay attention to my health first, and when it is where it needs to be, then I will know of another goal or challenge that I need to work on. It isn't that my health goals are more important than any other, it is just the time to work on that one now.
It is so comforting to me to know that Father is aware of me, our goals, and our progress toward our upcoming mission. It is comforting to know that He will answer prayers from the heart and walk with us every day, every hour of every day. And so it is comforting to know that He has directed me to work on my health now, to prepare for my mission in 180 days. The other goals may not be as important now, but the tmie will come when I will be directed to work on them also. ( I would love to run a marathon, though.)
Most goals to prepare for a mission are dependent upon the influence of our Father. The one to be physically fit is mostly dependent upon me. Will I exercise? Will I be concentrated on losing a few pounds? Will I listen to the Spirit and do what I need to do to be prepared? It is up to me more than Father whether I will be where I want to be. Yes, of course, everything is up to Him, but in this one goal, much is required of me.
Elder Ballard said, and I reported a few days ago said that we need to be masterfully in control of our time. (Maybe that was just yesterday.) I am the one who decides if I am going to do what is necessary to become fit for my mission. There are many goals, many of which depend upon Father and His wishes concerning us. But that is one that I need to take care of.
I don't doubt Fathers ability of blessing us with some of the other goals I have mentioned in this blog. I know He can perform miracles. But I doubt that He will bless me to run marathons, jump small buildings, fly over mountains, and swim across the channel or other feats. But He can bless me with the knowledge of what to do, how to do it to strength a weak back, neck, etc, right?
As I ponder about this, perhaps the Spirit is just telling me that I need to pay attention to my health first, and when it is where it needs to be, then I will know of another goal or challenge that I need to work on. It isn't that my health goals are more important than any other, it is just the time to work on that one now.
It is so comforting to me to know that Father is aware of me, our goals, and our progress toward our upcoming mission. It is comforting to know that He will answer prayers from the heart and walk with us every day, every hour of every day. And so it is comforting to know that He has directed me to work on my health now, to prepare for my mission in 180 days. The other goals may not be as important now, but the tmie will come when I will be directed to work on them also. ( I would love to run a marathon, though.)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
DAY 181 -- What Time Is It?
In Preach My Gospel, Elder Ballard says that we must set goals and learn how to master the techniques to achieve them. Mastering the techniques needed to reach our goals includes becoming the master manager of our time.
It is interesting that each of us is freely given exactly the same amount of time each day. No one is given 25 nor 23 hours. I find that often when the last hour of one day finally finds me, I feel that all those 24 hours disappeared and I accomplished nothing. I can't even remember what I was doing most of those hours.
As I consider Elder Ballard's words, I know I am not a master manager of my time. I have hundreds of goals to meet in six months. I guess the best thing would be to prioritize my goals and choose the one or two or three that seem to be the most important. Then I need to consider "mastering" management of my time as I consider how I am going to accomplish those goals.
Every major goal will involved many small goals, small stepping stones to make progress toward the big one, (Our mission.) I have shared in this blog many goals. Often I find that I mention one, one day and then mention another one the next day. Then two days later I mention another one. So I guess it is time for me to sit down and remember those goals, evaluate them, and then prioritize them to which are the three that I feel, through Spiritual direction, are the most important, then strive to master my time management to pursue those three.
I guess I could say it is my goal to do that, then I need to set smaller goals to.... Now it is getting crazy. Goals to set goals, to work on goals, to arrive at a goal. With only six months to go, I need to figure out what time it is? I need to start focusing on the most important goal to prepare for that ultimate goal. Then I need to work on my time management to achieve it.
What time is it? It is time to select one major goal, focus on that specific goal and then manage my time to make progress toward that goal. I could even make it a goal to become a master manager of my time. Sorry I couldn't stop myself...
Bottom line? What time is it? What do I do now? It is time to evaluate my progress of the past six months, evaluate where I am, have I wasted time, am I making enough progress, am I focused on the master goal? It is time to ponder and improve. I need to select the one that Father would have me work on right now, which ultimately would will help me achieve others I am sure.
It is interesting that each of us is freely given exactly the same amount of time each day. No one is given 25 nor 23 hours. I find that often when the last hour of one day finally finds me, I feel that all those 24 hours disappeared and I accomplished nothing. I can't even remember what I was doing most of those hours.
As I consider Elder Ballard's words, I know I am not a master manager of my time. I have hundreds of goals to meet in six months. I guess the best thing would be to prioritize my goals and choose the one or two or three that seem to be the most important. Then I need to consider "mastering" management of my time as I consider how I am going to accomplish those goals.
Every major goal will involved many small goals, small stepping stones to make progress toward the big one, (Our mission.) I have shared in this blog many goals. Often I find that I mention one, one day and then mention another one the next day. Then two days later I mention another one. So I guess it is time for me to sit down and remember those goals, evaluate them, and then prioritize them to which are the three that I feel, through Spiritual direction, are the most important, then strive to master my time management to pursue those three.
I guess I could say it is my goal to do that, then I need to set smaller goals to.... Now it is getting crazy. Goals to set goals, to work on goals, to arrive at a goal. With only six months to go, I need to figure out what time it is? I need to start focusing on the most important goal to prepare for that ultimate goal. Then I need to work on my time management to achieve it.
What time is it? It is time to select one major goal, focus on that specific goal and then manage my time to make progress toward that goal. I could even make it a goal to become a master manager of my time. Sorry I couldn't stop myself...
Bottom line? What time is it? What do I do now? It is time to evaluate my progress of the past six months, evaluate where I am, have I wasted time, am I making enough progress, am I focused on the master goal? It is time to ponder and improve. I need to select the one that Father would have me work on right now, which ultimately would will help me achieve others I am sure.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
DAY 182 --- My Future Companion Speaks...
Last night I had a date with my future companion. Don't know if that has ever been done before with the younger missionaries. I guess we are setting a new standard. Anyway, Bonnie and I went out and enjoyed each other for a few hours. Of course it included eating. Afterward, shopped for a few, ate, then we sat and talked about the upcoming six months. We talked about our children, their lives and ours.
But most importantly, we talked about feelings, fears, conditions, our plans for half a year, our goals mentioned in this blog, and many other things. (I was afraid that they were going to kick us out of the restaurant because we sat at the table for so long.)
We haven't done that for quite a time. It was refreshing and enlightening. My companion has different fears than I do concerning our mission. She has different concerns. She anticipates it differently than I do. I listened with an open, hungry mind and it reminded me how much I need to know her concerns and her worries about the road we are on, and about leaving for 18 months.
She vented, shared, explained her concerns, her excitement, her anxiety about leaving her grand kids, and many more things. I found myself grateful that she would let me into her mind and heart. Knowing of her feelings helps me in my "full speed ahead" attitude, my let's go and serve 180 months, my usual methods of running faster than I should and often falling directly on my nose.
It was a wonderful night. I need to do that more often, take the time to let her talk and share what is deep within her. I need to share what is deep within my heart and mind also. How can we be one flesh, or at least be working on becoming one in His eyes if we don't do that often? Life and our circumstances and our choices have postponed these types of therapy between us. I need to take more time to repeat what happened last night, to listen and to feel as my Bonnie.
Lesson learned. Slow down and smell the roses, and listen to the bee's song, though not as that pesky little bee stings, but as he sings. Listening to my future companion is an activity I need to practice much more often. (Six months and counting.)
But most importantly, we talked about feelings, fears, conditions, our plans for half a year, our goals mentioned in this blog, and many other things. (I was afraid that they were going to kick us out of the restaurant because we sat at the table for so long.)
We haven't done that for quite a time. It was refreshing and enlightening. My companion has different fears than I do concerning our mission. She has different concerns. She anticipates it differently than I do. I listened with an open, hungry mind and it reminded me how much I need to know her concerns and her worries about the road we are on, and about leaving for 18 months.
She vented, shared, explained her concerns, her excitement, her anxiety about leaving her grand kids, and many more things. I found myself grateful that she would let me into her mind and heart. Knowing of her feelings helps me in my "full speed ahead" attitude, my let's go and serve 180 months, my usual methods of running faster than I should and often falling directly on my nose.
It was a wonderful night. I need to do that more often, take the time to let her talk and share what is deep within her. I need to share what is deep within my heart and mind also. How can we be one flesh, or at least be working on becoming one in His eyes if we don't do that often? Life and our circumstances and our choices have postponed these types of therapy between us. I need to take more time to repeat what happened last night, to listen and to feel as my Bonnie.
Lesson learned. Slow down and smell the roses, and listen to the bee's song, though not as that pesky little bee stings, but as he sings. Listening to my future companion is an activity I need to practice much more often. (Six months and counting.)
Friday, December 9, 2011
DAY 183 -- Joy?
As I pause as a father of six kids, I often observe the trials and challenges each one is going through. One is struggling with unemployment. One has health issues. One has struggles with having children. One has a real challenge having their parents live with them. As a loving, caring father, if I could I would help each one overcome these obstacles. That is what we pray for each day.
However, if I did that I would destroy the purpose of these challenges in their lives. For our Father knows about all these challenges, and He is also their Father and does not joy in their struggles. There is divine purpose in all of them. I would just destroy His purposes.
I guess that is where "endure to the end" comes from. No matter our trials, no matter our prisons, we have them for a reason, a method of teaching lessons. Then I ponder about 2 Nephi 2:25. "..man is that he might have joy."
As I begin this day, I would like to have joy in my life. I struggled all night long about some things and as I crawled out of bed, those thoughts and challenges started to fill my mind. As my train of thought pursued that track, joy was no where to be found. I was totally occupied with the upcoming day and the many things I have in front of me to do.
So, can I have joy today? Do the scriptures mean that man is that he might have joy if he has no trials to conquer? Or does this scripture mean that the Prophet "is" that he might have joy?
As I sit here and ponder about what this scripture means, about how I am going to strive to have joy this day, I again realize that I am the master of my soul. I can have joy! I just need to realize that I can choose my attitude, my feelings of happiness, the things I choose to struggle about, I can choose to have joy no matter the circumstances. It is all up to me.
But why? Father wants us to be joyful, even through molding, teaching trials. If we have joy, we will feel the Holy Ghost whispering to us and we will be able to endure better, learn faster, and overcome the struggles we all have daily. (Easier said than done, right?)
However, if I did that I would destroy the purpose of these challenges in their lives. For our Father knows about all these challenges, and He is also their Father and does not joy in their struggles. There is divine purpose in all of them. I would just destroy His purposes.
I guess that is where "endure to the end" comes from. No matter our trials, no matter our prisons, we have them for a reason, a method of teaching lessons. Then I ponder about 2 Nephi 2:25. "..man is that he might have joy."
As I begin this day, I would like to have joy in my life. I struggled all night long about some things and as I crawled out of bed, those thoughts and challenges started to fill my mind. As my train of thought pursued that track, joy was no where to be found. I was totally occupied with the upcoming day and the many things I have in front of me to do.
So, can I have joy today? Do the scriptures mean that man is that he might have joy if he has no trials to conquer? Or does this scripture mean that the Prophet "is" that he might have joy?
As I sit here and ponder about what this scripture means, about how I am going to strive to have joy this day, I again realize that I am the master of my soul. I can have joy! I just need to realize that I can choose my attitude, my feelings of happiness, the things I choose to struggle about, I can choose to have joy no matter the circumstances. It is all up to me.
But why? Father wants us to be joyful, even through molding, teaching trials. If we have joy, we will feel the Holy Ghost whispering to us and we will be able to endure better, learn faster, and overcome the struggles we all have daily. (Easier said than done, right?)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
DAY 184 -- Spiritual Medication
As I start out the day, every day, I pause and collect a grundle ( is grundle a word?) of pills to take. I remember when I was much younger I watched my parents take a mouth full of pills each day. I thought they must be on their death bed to eat so many pills each day. Now I am them.
Each pill, there is a reason. Each pill facilitates the day, takes away the pain, and permits me to run a half way normal life. One example: I destroyed my back a few years ago and I have had terror stories told me of the results of back surgery. Thus I have chosen not to pursue back surgery and to live on pain pills to get me through the day. Another one example: I worked for a time reading water meters in the city of Sandy. During those years I knelt down over two million times to read meters, and thus my knees are in real sad shape. (I wish I could say I prayed that many times and thus my knees...) So I use another pill to assist in the joint problems I have.
Anyway, back to the important things. As I looked at all those pills this morning, I remembered how I feel when I miss my regular pill taking. No need to go there now, but it is not comfortable. So I continue to partake of those pills, assuming that it helps my physical existence during the day.
Well this morning, I paused and considered the spiritual "pills" I should be taking every day. I am so religious (no pun intended) about taking my pills each morning, but how religious am I in taking my prayer pill, my scripture pill, touching bases with Father pill-more than prayer, but keeping Him in my mind to be open to revelation, and other spiritual pills.
Instead of remembering my spiritual pills, I usually walk out the door and my mind returns to the inconsequential "fluff" of the day, forgetting my desired communication with my Father, my pondering about Him and my blessings, asking who I can touch, uplift today, etc.
I need to first analyze my spiritual pills of the day, see if there isn't some additional medication I need for the day, and be just as religious in taking these pills as I am the other ones. I need to be conscious of my spiritual health probably more than I am my physical health. Then I would propose that my physical health would improve? Pills, pills, Bill's pills.
Each pill, there is a reason. Each pill facilitates the day, takes away the pain, and permits me to run a half way normal life. One example: I destroyed my back a few years ago and I have had terror stories told me of the results of back surgery. Thus I have chosen not to pursue back surgery and to live on pain pills to get me through the day. Another one example: I worked for a time reading water meters in the city of Sandy. During those years I knelt down over two million times to read meters, and thus my knees are in real sad shape. (I wish I could say I prayed that many times and thus my knees...) So I use another pill to assist in the joint problems I have.
Anyway, back to the important things. As I looked at all those pills this morning, I remembered how I feel when I miss my regular pill taking. No need to go there now, but it is not comfortable. So I continue to partake of those pills, assuming that it helps my physical existence during the day.
Well this morning, I paused and considered the spiritual "pills" I should be taking every day. I am so religious (no pun intended) about taking my pills each morning, but how religious am I in taking my prayer pill, my scripture pill, touching bases with Father pill-more than prayer, but keeping Him in my mind to be open to revelation, and other spiritual pills.
Instead of remembering my spiritual pills, I usually walk out the door and my mind returns to the inconsequential "fluff" of the day, forgetting my desired communication with my Father, my pondering about Him and my blessings, asking who I can touch, uplift today, etc.
I need to first analyze my spiritual pills of the day, see if there isn't some additional medication I need for the day, and be just as religious in taking these pills as I am the other ones. I need to be conscious of my spiritual health probably more than I am my physical health. Then I would propose that my physical health would improve? Pills, pills, Bill's pills.
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